Regrets, I've had a few
When Steve got into the platform, after having said his goodbye to Sam and Bucky, he was still sure on coming back just after putting the stones back in their place.
And then, he saw her, and she was just as he remembered her, and maybe, he could just talk to her, right? He would still be back in five seconds for Sam and Bucky.
And so, they talked, they cried, they danced.
Turned out in this timeline Daniel Sousa died in action, Peggy joked bitterly about it "Apparently, I do have a very precise type for men...".
It lasted for hours, when they finally had nothing to talk about and they just stared at each other’s in companionable silence, then sun had got down and up again.
Steve got up, ready to say his final goodbye to the only woman he ever loved (not counting Sarah Rogers, obviously), ready to see Bucky and Sam again. Bucky. And then he realized, if in this timeline Daniel and Peggy weren't married, maybe, just maybe he could save Bucky here and destroy Hydra before they did too much damage.
Then, he could go back to his 21st century in peace.
He sat back, in front of Peggy.
"But- you said you had to get back."
"I know Peg, but they are something you should know first, and something I should do, to clean my conscience." And so he told her his story, all of it
___
Finding and fighting HYDRA had been easier than anticipated, they hadn't had yet the time to properly develop and so Steve stood, 6 months after his initial arrival in this timeline, in an observatory room. On the other side was Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier.
He looked miserable, lost, the only thing that differentiated him from when he first saw his Winter Soldier was the hair, it was only up to his ears.
Peggy put a hand on his shoulders " Are you are alright dear?"
"Yeah, I'm actually relieved, that one Bucky isn't gonna have to go through all of Hydra's torture."
She gently squeezed his shoulders "You sure you want to go alone with him?"
Steve tried to smile, but it turned out a little sad "It's the only way I know to get him back."
He squared his shoulders and entered the room.
---
One night, Steve was sitting on the patio of Peggy’s house trying to see the stars and, for the first time, Peggy joined him.
“Hey.”
“Hey, what are you doing up here, did I wake you up?”
“Steve, dear, you’re not the only one with things keeping you up at night” Her manicured hand rested on his knee.
From the look in her eyes, he knew she was about to say something he was not going to like.
“You know, you could go back now.” She looked inside the house, when the time-traveling device had been catching dust for almost a year now.
Steve stayed silent, still looking up for stars.
“Look at me when I’m talking to you Steve.” He looked in her direction but didn’t meet her eyes. “Bucky has only been getting better, he will be ready to leave Shield facility in a few weeks. And if I understood correctly, you have another one waiting for you on the other side.”
Steve exhaled. “You know, when I came out of the ice, everything and everyone one was gone, the buildings, the friends, there was only you left...” He takes a deep breath. “And suddenly, Bucky was there again, except - he wasn’t really. I tried my best to help him, you know? There was a lot of fighting involved, with others, but mainly with each other, and I don’t regret one second of it because Bucky, he…he’s like home to me. Now he is better, he is all settled in in Wakanda, and I’m afraid I’m just getting him in battles he is too tired to fight and reminding him of things he’d rather forget. Here, I can still be helpful to him.” There was a pause. “And, anyway, my absence still only gonna last 5 seconds for my Bucky.”
He finally met Peggy’s eyes and smiled sadly, unable to cry. They hugged.
---
And time passed like that, he promised himself that as soon he had that one thing done, he would get back, but there was always new things to get done (“I’m telling you Peg, if I tear done this wall, your kitchen would look much nicer !”).
When Bucky was finally able to leave Shield’s hospital, he came in to live with Peggy and Steve.
The Howlies came to lunch at least once a week. They all worked in Shield, and threw a big party when Peggy finally became director.
Steve and Bucky retired rather early, but already having a lifetime of fighting behind them.
Peggy always prepared herself for three possibilities when she came home : a perfect meal cooked by James (Steve insisted he had help ‘I boiled the water, it must count as something’), them being so engrossed in drawing and reading (even sometimes writing, on Bucky’s therapist advice) to have done anything or just bickering (“I’m telling you we should have gotten the petunias” “Petunias ? Are you out of your mind Steve ?”).
It was a good and quiet life, all three of them living in the suburbs. But as they say, every journey has its end.
---
When Steve finally came back, a few seconds later, Bucky wasn’t surprised, he had somehow felt it.
Their goodbye meant more ‘I love you, but who knows when we’re next going to see each other’ than ‘see you soon’.
So he let Sam go first, he was sure Birdman had more questions than him.
Sam gently patted on his shoulder after his chat, “I think you both have a little talking to do.”
Bucky sat next to Steve, old Steve, looking as frail as he did in the 30s. “I’m sorry Buck, I didn’t mean to leave for so long, but before I knew it, I looked like that” Steve started, with a small smile, pointing at himself.
“It’s alright Stevie, I kinda expected it, you know, it’s what you deserved.” answered Bucky with a tired, but happy for his friend, smile.
Steve looked at him more intently. “You know, I saved you – I mean the Bucky from the other timeline.” Bucky opens his mouth, not really knowing what to say. “What, you thought I was gonna leave the other you rotting in a Hydra cell? I thought you knew me better than that Buck.” He marked a pause. “I’m just sorry I didn’t have the sense to come back sooner for you, I… I was just so sure to have time, to have it all, the white picket fence there, and this life here with you and Sam, that I almost forgot I aged.”
“Is alright, beside I always knew you were gonna die on me, I shall now live with the knowledge that I’m always right. Ah! What a terrible burden it is!”
Steve smiled “That’s not how you talk to your elder, young man ! And I'm almost 150 years old, not dead.”
“Hey, technically I’m still born a year before you, and you gotta stop lying to yourself grandpa, that sounds old, even for me.” Bucky smiled. “More seriously, I gotta ask, was… was I happy?”
He can’t imagine what I was like in this other timeline, did he work with Steve at Shield? Were they neighbors? Did he have a wife, too?
Steve took his hand in his. “We were.”