Consequences Be Damned

"You died. He had to fight for his life and then you died is what happened."

Dead silence filled the room. What was he even supposed to say to that? Tony tried to keep his breathing under control. It's not like he had wanted to die. He had a wife and a child - two kids if he was being honest with himself - a family he had wanted a life with. A family he had wanted to keep save. They were what was most important in this whole damn universe and there had only been one way to keep them safe. Strange had been clear that it was the only way. How could not?  

Bruce had stepped next to Tony and unpacked a few medical devices. He kept his distance, eyes still cold and watchful.

"Can you manage those shirt buttons or should I..."

Tony tore his mind back to reality and looked down to his chest. He nodded quickly. "I... I can..."

His left hand fiddled with his tie, loosened the knot and carefully pull it off. His hands were still shaking. It wasn't just nerves. Yes, he was desperate to find out what had happened to him. He had woken up in his own fucking coffin. That alone surely could explain his tremors, but there was more to it. It wasn't just the shock. There was a fatigue in his very bones that made it excruciatingly difficult to breathe, to move, let alone to think. The first wave of happiness from seeing the kid had slowly ebbed away. He felt it all now. Bruce watched him and with the professor's eyes on him, Tony struggle to open up the buttons on his chest. It shouldn't be this difficult. How many shirts had he buttoned and unbuttoned over the year? A simple task like that and he had to thoroughly concentrate on his hands so he could slowly but eventually, he get there. Only the button on the shirt's collar was left. The longer he tried and the more often the button would slip through his fingers, the stronger the tremor of his hand became. He dropped his hands. Nope, turned out he couldn't even unbutton his shirt completely, He looked up at Bruce and just gave his head a small shake.

"Can't. Just... just rip 't." He tilted his head back to give Bruce better access to his neck. He waited but the green professor just stood there next to him, eyes on Tony's neck.

"It's fine. This will do." After another moment of hesitation, Bruce reached underneath the fabric. He put a few sensors on Tony's chest, then on the pulse point of his neck and his temples. A small monitor in Bruce's hand beeped a few times, confirmed the connection to the sensors and then blared out Tony's fast erratic heartbeat.

Tony stayed quiet while Bruce was at work. His right arm was still laying on his stomach. He couldn't help but let his eyes wander over it again and again. It was mostly obstructed by the torn suit jacket and the sling. He took a deep breath and a cold wave of goosebumps spread through his body. He had no idea what to expect from anything Bruce was testing out. How was he even alive? Surely... surely they hadn't buried him alive? No, by the look of the kid it had to have been... longer. Longer than anyone could survive in a box in the ground. He swallowed hard, eyes back on Bruce. The professor softly nodded to himself, eyes on the monitor. He clicked around on it a bit, made some notes. Tony took another deep breath and cast his eyes up to the ceiling. He'd just have to let Bruce do his thing.

"Alright... Can you pull up your right leg?" Tony complied, flexed his leg, pulled his knee up, his foot now placed on the bed. Bruce asked him to move in other ways, determining his range of mobility, inquiring for pain or discomfort, before he finally settled on Tony's right arm.

Tony's heart started to flutter. He bit the inside of his lower lip so he wouldn't curse as Bruce's monitor broadcast his fast pulse. The fast pulsing sound echoed off the walls. The professor shot a quick glance at him before he carefully pulled off the sling from Tony's neck. His arm was now free. Not that this was of any benefit to him. Bruce slowly lifted and prodded at the arm, but Tony couldn't feel his touch. There was a dull pull around his right collarbone, nothing more. Even the cold steel of Bruce's stethoscope that should have had him flinch as Bruce listened for a blood flow and checked his reflexes didn't register. Tony's eyes had only briefly flickered to his own arm. Bruce had pulled back the ripped fabric from his jacket and shirt. Tony had had his share of injuries. Being a superhero, that was a given. Nothing like this though. His arm looked positively dead. He couldn't stand the look of it.

The beeping sound of the monitor grew stronger and faster. His breath got caught in his throat. He pressed his eyes firmly shut, but there was a wave of anxiety rushing through him that he couldn't control. He just couldn't. How was he supposed to come back from this? How... how was there any recovery from this?

His eyes shot open when he felt a firm squeeze on his right shoulder. His glance flickered over to the green hand and then up to Bruce's face.

"You do feel that? That's good."

Yes... yes, he could feel that. He could. Tony's gasped for air, the moisture in his eyes made them burn. Bruce squeezed his shoulder again.

"Deep breaths, Tony."

He quickly nodded and closed his eyes.

"Your vitals look mostly fine. If we factor out the peaks that are to expected in this situation... well. You seem healthy enough." He paused. "Minus the arm that is. I... I don't think..." He cleared his throat. "We'll have to do some more tests."

Tony took in a sharp breath. Bruce was trying to be nice, but it was more than obvious that matters with his arm were serious. If the point that Tony couldn't move or feel it hadn't given it away, the corpse-like look of his flesh was convincing enough. He glanced over at the professor. His movements seemed smooth and painless, no lasting effects from his... his contact with the Stones.

"How... how long?" He hadn't talked at all while Bruce had been examining him, evident by the croak in his voice.

Bruce looked up at him, eyebrows knitted together. "How long?"

Tony throat was dry. It hurt to swallow but he tried anyway and then concentrated on the words. "How long... since... since..." He coughed and stopped.

"Since... the battle?"

Tony exhaled deeply and nodded, thankful that Bruce had not mentioned the name.

"Almost 7 months."

Tony coughed again, his heart jumped in his chest. "Wha-"

"Calm down, Tony. Deep breaths." Bruce's hand rested on his shoulder not so much holding him down on the bed but holding onto him.

"Do you remember what happened? At the battle, I mean, with..."

Tony's eyes shot up at him and Bruce stopped talking. He was already losing it. Please, let him not say his name. He pressed his eyes shut and gave his head a short but powerful shake. Images were flooding his mind that he couldn't deal with. He'd need time. It was too soon.

"At the battle. Do you remember what happened that day?"

Tony's chest deflated. He blinked slowly before nodding in the professor's direction.

"Alright. That's... that's good I think. Memory intact. That's good. Anything after?"

Tony's eyes shot up. "No." He pressed out forcefully, relieved when his voice held under the strain.

Bruce's hand was still on his right shoulder. "What happened to you, Tony?"

He frowned and made an effort to shrug with his left. How the fuck was he supposed to know what happened? He'd been in a box underground. Dead.

"Jus'... wok' up."

Bruce huffed and grimaced. "No theory? Tony Stark usually has a theory for everything, no? Weird shit is your specialty."

He looked up at the big green guy, his mouth slightly opened, air rushing in and out, brow creased. He took a moment. A moment to think. So far his mind had been occupied with banishing unwanted memories and just trying to cope with what was happening with him. The... the purple dude was the one they had been fighting. The one Tony had prepared for. For years. Sure, there were harbingers of that battle. Loki, who was dead. Or so Thor had said. Ultron. The mind stone that Loki had brought to Earth. Years after Sokovia, Tony was sure now that the Stone didn't end up in their hands by chance. It had been planted. Waiting to break free. Waiting to take over something that would destroy humanity. And it had been a close call. There was the odd Earthly villain Tony had fought. He'd defeated all of them. Bringing the dead back to life... Bringing a dead Tony Stark back to life didn't really seem like something an ordinary human villain would be capable of. 

Tony cleared his throat. "The... the s'ones." He cleared it again. "The Stones... did... did you-"

Bruce withdrew his hand from him and stood up straight. "We returned them to their timelines."

Tony frowned. "But..?"

"No but. We... There was a mission and they are back where they belong."

Tony nodded before he cast his eyes back up to Bruce. "Did yo'... Nat... coul' you..."

Bruce shook his head slowly.

",m sorry."

"It was a long shot." Bruce rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head again. "The Stones are still gone. Nobody could have used them to get you back."

The door opened and the kid stuck his head back inside. Tony couldn't help but draw in a deep breath as his heart leaped. And as his heart rate picked up, Bruce's monitor sent out loud beeping sounds that echoed through the room.

"Bruce, coul' you..." He motioned at the monitor in the professor's hand.

"Oh, yeah... yeah, sure..." He quickly tapped around on the screen a few times and muted the sound that broadcasted Tony's heartbeat. 

Peter had closed the door and quickly came up to Tony's bed, grasped for his hand.

"You okay?"

Tony nodded, his lips drawn into a smile. "You... you go' her?"

"She's outside." He looked over to Bruce. "We... we haven't told her yet. It's... it's not really believable, is it... unless..." His eyes found Tony's again. "Unless you see it for yourself."

Tony squeezed his hand. "Pep hates sur—surpris's."

"Well..." Peter shrugged. "She loves you. She's missed you. Don't make her faint!"

Tony chuckled while he ran his thumb over the back of Peter's hand.

His cheeks strained a bit from the wide smile his mouth had pulled into. Pepper was just outside the door. His wife. His love. He needed to see her now. No more waiting. Almost 7 months. Fuck. He'd left her on her own for 7 months. His heart expanded with a painful beat as he imagined for only a second that it had been her. That she had been dead for 7 months and he had been left behind. His breath hitched and he tried to calm himself. Peter mumbled some words that didn't really reach Tony's brain. But the strong hold the kid had on his hand anchored him. Brought him back.

He... he needed to sit up. He couldn't face her lying on his back like he was still dead. His head turned to look at the headboard of the bed while his feet struggled to push himself against it. He could just... just slide over the pillow into a sitting position.

"Mr. Stark, what... what are you doing?" Peter's voice was fast and high-pitched. He pulled on Tony's arm in an attempt to keep him still.

"Jus' wanna... needa sit up." He was still glancing towards the headboard and he tried to angle his back in a way that would let him push himself up.

"Wait... wait, I'll..." Peter stepped closer.

"Is fine..." Tony insisted, but Peter's other hand came to rest under his elbow and provided just enough of a push to assist Tony while he still held firmly onto his hand. Tony slid up the bed as his feet scrambled on top of the sheets and came to rest with his back against the headboard.

"Hold on... Your arm..." Bruce stepped closer. Like a dead weight, his arm had slipped from his abdomen and came to rest next to him on the bed. Before Bruce could step up close enough, Peter had already leaned forward to grab the arm-sling. The boy's face was stoic and white as he reached for Tony's unresponsive arm. He couldn't feel Peter's shaking fingers on his skin. The tremble in his arm as he placed the dead-like limb back into the sling and maneuvered it to rest in Tony's lap was unmistakable though. Peter's mouth moved with small twitching motions, probably biting the insides of his cheeks. He didn't look into Tony's face, only pulled up the ends of the sling and fastened them around Tony's neck.

Tony reached for the boy's hand again. "Than's Pete." He tried a reassuring smile. Peter squeezed back and pressed out a smile that didn't really reach his eye.

"You alright, Mr. Stark?"

"Fine, Pete. Go... Go an' bring... bring 'er in!" "

The hand that Peter had firmly squeezed with both of his now fumbled for the edge of the mattress. He held on in a tight grip to anchored himself on the bed. The kid had opened the door just enough to look out into the hallway. He called for Pepper and then there were footsteps that came closer.

"Peter, what's going on?" Her voice echoed only faintly into the room. It was her alright. Tony would recognize that voice anywhere. No other voice had been as much of a constant in his life as Pepper Potts'. A shiver ran through him and his lips spread out into a wide smile again. Mrs. Pepper Stark.

His eyes stared at the kid's back, who still held the door fairly closed. "I... listen, I really need you to not freak out, this is gonna be-"

She groaned. It was a muffled sound as she had probably burrowed her face in her hands. "Oh god, Peter... what did you do?"

Tony couldn't help but smile even wider. It was just so Pepper... The same phrase could have just as easily been aimed at him. Or Morgan. His eyes shot over to Banner for a moment. The professor was somber and composed. Right. Right... Tony swallowed his smile and looked back towards the door. They still didn't know what this was. What had even happened. And also if it... if he was going to, well, last in this world. So many uncertainties, but Pepper... He took a deep breath. Pepper was right there.

"I didn't even do... It's not... Listen..." The kid straightened his back, his left arm still clung to the door for support, the other was hanging by his side, his hand balled into a fist. "This is gonna be a shock, Pepper.  There's no easy way to do this, so.... so just... just don't freak out."

"Pete, I-"

"Just... just let me tell you."

He could have just called out for her. Called her to his side. It wasn't fair that the kid had to deliver this news. What... what were they even thinking? Peter shouldn't be put in that situation. It should be Tony, nobody else! His pulse shot up and he closed his eyes. He needed to calm down. He couldn't trust his voice as it was. If he would hyperventilate on top of that... It didn't really matter. It shouldn't be the kid, but Tony couldn't really get out a single smooth sentence in a low voice, let alone if he were to call out into the hallway. His eyes still on the kid, he took deep breaths. As deep as possible. Needed to help his body to stay calm.

"I... I've been visiting Tony's grave for... for a few months now. I... I know, I should have come to see you, I'm sorry, it just never... I couldn't really-"

"It's alright, Pete. I understand."

Tony frowned. Peter had been avoiding Pepper, but why-

He gasped for air. There she was. She had stepped closer to him. The angle was too sharp for him to see her face but it was her hand that ran up and down Peter's arm.

"No... No, what I... Something happened." Her hand froze and then grasped his upper arm where it had come to a stop. "It just happened. I... just... just come and see."

The kid's other arm swung open the door and Tony could finally see her standing in the frame. Peter turned, his left hand clasped over Pepper's hand on his other arm. Slowly he guided her a couple of steps further into the room. Pepper's face first drawn in concern went slack. She didn't resist the pull Peter had on her and staggered a couple of steps closer with him. Her chin dropped and her eyes were only on Tony.

He hadn't even though of what to say. He hadn't even thought that he'd have to prepare words. It was Pepper for god's sake. His wife. She knew him inside and out. Every dumb decision, every fuck up, everything that was in his heart. But still, he was painfully aware that however much he had felt like nothing would ever change between them, the look on her face told a different story. Lines were edged on her face that were foreign to him. Deep purple circles under her eyes. Darker than he had ever seen on her. Every cheeky remark to break the ice, every simple line to greet her froze in his throat.

She... she was going to cry. Her face was twitching, eyes still wide and glistening. But no, he'd been wrong. Her hole body shook from a shiver. She pulled her shoulders back and breathed in deeply.

Peter's hand slowly patted the one that Pepper was still clasping his upper arm with. "Pepper, it's-"

"What is this? What..." She jerked away from him and pulled her hand back. "Oh... oh my god, what did you do? What is this?" Her eyes were wide as she stared at Tony.

"Pep..." Tony's hand shot up to rub his throat, but she wasn't even looking at him anymore.

"Peter, what were you thinking? What the hell did you do?" She had turned to the kid, hands in her hair, clawing at her own scalp. "How could you do this? Oh my god, Peter, how could you..."

Her voice was shrill and panicked, not at all inside of Pepper's usual range of reaction. Her distress made Tony's heart jump and strangulated his voice. Peter's reaction was similarly out of character. His big brown eyes just stared at her, his mouth was open, his arms uselessly hung by his side as Pepper backed away from him.

"Pep..." Tony's voice didn't even reach his own ears. Either the loud rush of his blood, that had filled his ears ever since Pepper's face had fallen, was currently drowning out every sound in the room or his throat simply wasn't capable of producing speech. It didn't matter. He had to calm her. He had to be there for her. He leaned over to his left. He would pull his feet off the bed and catch her in his arms. In his arm. He cringed. Fuck it. He might be a bit handicapped when it came to a strong hug, but his legs were still functional! Or at least he had no reason to assume otherwise. The longer he mulled over the shock in the room the further Pepper retreated towards the door. Strange had blocked the exit and his hands caught her before her back smashed into him. Her whole body winced and she turned to face Strange. Tony had to hurry, but before his feet even touched the ground strong green arms pulled him back. One hand shifted his legs back onto the bed while the other gently pushed his torso back against the headboard.

"You'll hurt yourself, Tony."

"I..." he coughed and struggled against the professor's hold on him. "Pepper... I need..." The rasp of his voice sounded outlandish. Weak. He had to go after her. He needed to hold her. Reassure her. He pulled his eyes down to where the professor had his hand pressed against his chest and kept him pinned against the bed. Only his hand didn't even really touch him. 5 green fingers lay fairly lax on his chest. But there was no energy in him to fight even that. He cleared his throat again to call out for her, but she didn't hear him. Her eyes were on Strange, but she didn't seem to hear the wizard's low voice asking her to calm down either. She shoved past him and just like that she disappeared from Tony's view.

"No..." he coughed, determined to go after her. Fuck his weak body. He would. For her, he would fucking run until he caught up with her.

"Bruce... I need..."

"Tony you need to calm down. Give her some space. You can't get up now. We don't even know if your legs would support you."

"Please... I... need 'er..." Without even a glance in Tony's direction, the wizard had turned and gone after her. Tony made one last effort. His hand went for Bruce's. He clasped two of his fingers and pulled as hard as he could, but the professor's hand didn't move at all.

"You don't help yourself by falling out of bed onto your face. You need to rest, Tony."

"No... need 'er... need 'er!" He tried to push his torso against Bruce to move him. Nothing. He jerked back and forth. A few droplets landed on his hand. What... His hand shot up to his face. His cheeks were wet.

"Tony, come on... we will figure it out. You need to calm down."   

But he wasn't calm. How could he be calm? He had to find her, explain... well, no, not explain but just be there. Hold her, touch her, shelter her. Needed her to reassure himself that everything was... was just okay. Or would be. Because it was them.

He had dropped any effort to free himself from Banner's grip. It was painfully obvious that there was no way that Tony would get out of that bed on his own. His body was shaking, his eyes leaked tears and he didn't know how to stop any of it. His face rested in his hand. Every now and again he wiped away the moisture from his face. That was all. He didn't know where to go from here. How to make everything alright.

Who knew how long he sat there before his conscience took in anything other than all the thoughts and all the pain that was pouring out of him. He only noticed that he had bend over, left elbow resting on his thigh, face in his hand when the rush of his pulse that dulled his hearing had finally stopped. Nobody was pressing him upright against the headboard anymore. His head shot up. In the middle of the room, Peter struggled against Bruce's attempts to console him. Shoulders hunched, tears on his face, he pushed every effort the professor made away.

"I didn't... I didn't even... Don't touch me!" He took a step back from Bruce, his back against the wall on the opposite side of the room. 

"It's okay, Peter. I know. I know, this is not on you. It's ok-"

"Don't... Don't! Just... go. Just go!"

Tony pushed his own body upright and leaned back against the headboard.  "Pete... "

His voice was wrecked. He needed to fucking keep it together. He should have known that this might happen. People didn't just come back to life. It was irrational to expect anyone to just be cool with it... right? He should have never let it get this far. Peter should not have been in the middle of this. He ran his hand over his face, wiped away his tears.

While Peter didn't react, Bruce turned to face Tony. His face drawn in worry he took a step towards him, then turned again and looked at Peter, only to meet Tony's eyes again. Yeah. This was a mess. Tony dipped his head towards the door.

"Jus'... let me." His throat burned and he rubbed a hand over it as he motioning towards the door again.

With another quick look at Peter, Bruce nodded and left. As he closed the door behind him, Peter slid down and came to sit on the floor.

"He' kid..." He cleared his throat. The kid could hear him. If Bruce had noticed that Tony's attention had turned towards them, then his Spider-kid would be plenty aware. He just didn't want to show it. Face buried in both his hands, he shook. He cried and he sobbed and he avoided every glance in Tony's direction.

Tony cleared his throat again, the rasp so deep that he coughed and once he had started coughing an overwhelming irritation in his throat made him double over. Fine, he might have leaned into it a bit but once the coughing stared it felt like he wouldn't be able to stop until his lung would be propelled from his body. His hand was pressed against his chest. He heaved and gasp for air. Even as a hand landed on his back and rubbed slow circles across it, it still took him another minute to calm down enough to ask the kid for water. It took even more time 'til the glass in his hand found the way to his mouth, steadied by Peter. The cold liquid moistened his lips and went soothingly down his throat.

The glass was still pressed to his lips when the kid muttered next to him. "You did that on purpose."

Tony took another sip of the water to stop the huff he felt brewing in his chest, afraid it might trigger another fit. "A li'l bit."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think that-"

"Pete... stop."

The boy put the glass on the nightstand and then used his sleeve to wipe down his face.

"Did you... kno'... or... or do someth'n... anyth'n-"

"No." Peter held onto his own hands. His face was flushed but he didn't evade Tony's eyes. "It wasn't me. Mr. Stark, I... I wish. I'm so happy you're back. I am. I really really am."

He leaned forward, hands holding tightly onto Tony's clothes. "I missed you. I missed you so much. I'm so sorry. I don't... I don't know..."

Tony's arm came to rest against Peter's back as the boy snuggled into his side. He sobbed and muttered apologies over and over again. Tony held him as close as his strength allowed him to.

"Is alrigh', kid. Shhh... cm'on. Believe 'u. You alright. I gottu."