As we stand together
Being an adult was hard. Harder than Peter had thought it would be anyway. It might be because May made it her life’s mission to yield him from the hardships she had to face while he was growing up; he wasn't overly aware of the fact that they had financial issues or that May worked twice as much as Ned’s mom did. And it also maybe had to do with the fact that his role model was a superhero and billionaire who seemed to be able to avoid his responsibilities without much consequence. Peter had been in the lab countless times and heard Tony tell Pepper to handle a meeting for him, and there had only been a handful of occasions where Tony had to cancel on him because he was busy.
So when Pepper decided that being the CEO of Stark Industries was too much stress, Peter thought that, at 33, he was ready to step in. At least until Morgan was old enough to manage it by his side. But, as it turns out, running Stark Industries was a lot harder than it looked. Peter had to deal with the press all day long, he had countless meeting with the board who constantly undermined him and treated him like a child, he had also previously occupied the position of Head of the Developing department so he had to stay on top of all the inventions Stark Industries was planning and, on top of that, he got home every night to find a his two sons who at 7 and 4 seemed to never run out of energy and always wanted to play. At least for a little while because Peter had to leave eventually, had to put on a suit and go out on patrol. And he would come back, exhausted from the day and stressed about the next one, to find MJ asleep. He would kiss her forehead and go to sleep himself.
On the off chance that he found her awake, they would fight. They would argue about Peter not making enough time for his family or about him risking his life as Spider-man. They would argue about Stark Industries and how it had already forced them to leave Queens in favor of a relocation upstate and how, according to MJ, Peter was turning into Tony Stark. “Is that such a bad thing?” Peter had asked quietly when MJ had suggested it. “I don’t know, Peter.” MJ had sighed and rubbed her head, “I just know that he overworked himself into an early grave, left a wife and two children behind to deal with the consequences. I don't want that to happen to us”.
And that had been that, two weeks ago. Peter still hadn’t talked to MJ. He would go home every afternoon to spend time with the kids, they would ask why he left and didn’t come back, why he wasn’t there when they had breakfast. And he just stood silent, said he was very very busy but he loved them very much. But, still, he would leave when MJ got home from work with a whispered “bye” as he closed the door. And he would patrol and sleep at Ned’s house. Hang out with his goddaughter and Betty. Ned said he could stay for as long as he wanted, but he needed to talk to MJ, sort this out. And he knew, he just didn't know how to fix it.
He stopped going to dinner with the Starks for the past two weeks, he still had lunch with Pepper on Wednesdays, she was officially retired but was still mentoring Peter when it came to running the company, but he didn't talk about his wife, he mentioned the kids; showed Pepper pictures of Ben’s science project, a clean energy lamp who got its power from garbage he found laying around the house. And he showed her pictures of Tony, of him with a face full of chocolate cake and of him wearing his very own Spiderman costume. And Pepper didn’t press further, didn’t ask why he had already cancelled twice on family dinner, why he looked like he hadn't been sleeping well or why he seemed to choke up everytime she seemed like she was about to talk about MJ.
Still, Peter didn’t go to dinner with the Starks, because he couldn't face Morgan. He knew the minute they saw each other, she would know something was wrong. She was a Stark like that, “great power of deduction and can read Peter Parker like an open book”, it should be their family motto. So he avoided her, didn't FaceTime her, only texted her to send her new pictures of her nephews, her godson. But nothing further. And he missed her like crazy. He seemed to be missing everyone these days. He missed Morgan and he missed Pepper every Friday night. He missed his kids and seeing them wake up in the morning; Ben with his neatly put on uniform, so much like Peter and Tony with a crooked tie and not a single care in the world, all MJ. And he really missed May, she was on a trip around the world with Happy right now, something about celebrating a wedding anniversary. Deep down, now and always, he missed Tony. He knew that he would know what to say, he would tell him to get your shit together, Pete. Would probably tell him take it from a guy with a magnet for a heart, family comes first. And most of all he missed MJ. So much. He knew she was right to be upset, he had been spending so much time away from home and had been missing her long before their fight. But he was still an awkward teenager when it came to fixing his mistakes. And he wanted to apologize but he couldn't do anything to change the situation, so he chose to stay quiet, wait out the storm.
He was in his office, reading over the lab reports he had received that morning when a call came through automatically, without warning. Just like that, Morgan Stark was invading his personal space.
“You know, the first few times I went by your house to see your kids and you weren’t there I just thought, Huh, there must be a new bad guy in town. Spidey’s busy.” Peter closed his eyes and sighed, thankful she couldn't see him. “And then, little Tony just goes ahead and spits out the truth. You wanna know what he said, Pete?”
“I have a feeling you’ll tell me wether I want to or not” Peter answered, resignation filling his voice.
“You’re damn right I will” Peter could tell Morgan was somewhat angry, maybe slightly disappointed. “He said, Daddy is having a sleepover with Ned because he doesn’t love Mommy anymore.”
Peter felt his heart break, he knew that those weren’t MJ’s words, she wouldn't betray Peter like that. He knew that was their kids’ understanding of the situation. Realized at once that it was what Ben had probably told Tony when he asked.
“And I thought, Well, I always suspected that Peter might have feelings for Ned” Morgan continued sarcastically “But he wouldn’t leave MJ, the best thing that ever happened to him, and not tell me, am I wrong?”
“Morgan, I don’t know what to tell you,” Peter started, feeling like his life was falling apart.
“How about the truth?” She answered firmly. “I’ll meet you in the lobby of Stark Industries in 20 minutes, let’s go have lunch”. And just like that she hung up.
Peter was in for one hell of a meal.
They were sitting in a fancy restaurant near Peter’s office. It had been Tony’s favourite when he was alive, had invited Peter to eat there with him countless times. Sitting in this exact table, with a very different Stark across from him, he had received lectures when he messed up as Spiderman and when he stopped caring about his schoolwork; advice when he had had a fight with Ned or the occasional disagreement with May. And he had had the pleasure of hearing some of Tony’s best stories; about his first invention and the time he met Captain America, about his aunt Peggy and the moment he knew he wanted to marry Pepper. And now, here he sat, playing with his salad as he felt Morgan’s eyes on him. The silence was heavy, never awkward, just tense. He knew it wouldn’t last much longer.
“Pete, are you going to say anything?” There it broke. Peter sighed, looked up at Morgan and he felt his throat tighten up, he couldn’t do this.
“I just- I can’t” he tried, really. But he truly couldn’t put it into words, telling Morgan would only make it more real; Spiderman, New York’s very own hero, could take down bad guys all day long but couldn’t save his own marriage.
“Are you getting a divorce?” Morgan asked slowly, sounding both like she was afraid of the answer and scared of breaking Peter.
“I don’t know” he answered honestly. Were they? He supposed not speaking for two weeks wasn’t a good sign. “We haven’t talked about it. Haven’t talked at all really”
“For how long?” Morgan asked with a sigh
“It will be three weeks this Thursday”
“What happened?” She asked, pity showing in her voice, “This isn’t like you. You love each other”.
“Of course we do,” Peter answered defensively, realizing quickly that he wasn’t under attack “I love MJ more than anything. But I just, I’ve been busy lately. With the company and Spiderman. And we just kept fighting more and more, until one day she just-“ and he realized he couldn’t say it , couldn’t tell Morgan. It would hurt too much.
“She what?” Morgan begged, taking a hold of Peter’s hand. Peter took a deep breath.
“Said I was turning into Tony Stark. Said he had overworked himself into an early grave and left us to deal with the consequences.” Saying it lifted a weight off his chest, but another one quickly set in as he awaited Morgan’s response.
“Well, she’s not wrong” she said slowly, like she was quickly realizing it herself.
“What? Morgan of course that’s not true” he looked up at her, wanting her to understand. “ Your dad didn’t overwork himself into an early grave, he made a huge sacrifice to save all of us. He would love to be here right now, but if he hadn’t done what he did then none of us would get to enjoy our lives”.
“I know, he was a hero. But that was still his job, Pete.” Morgan squeezed his hand, trying to get him to look her in the eye. He did. “ And he loved us both so much and would’ve wanted us to make use of what his death gave us. MJ is worried about you, she loves you and she misses you. So stop being an idiot and talk to her. Be with her.”
He knew she was right, of course she was. But he was still a realist, he was still CEO of a multimillion dollar company, he was still a superhero so he didn’t have any time to spare.
“ I want to be with MJ, I want to be with Ben and little Tony and make your father proud.” He started, putting emphasis in every word “ But I just don’t have the time. I’m so tired, all the time. And I don’t want to let anyone down.”
“You won’t let anyone down by asking for help.” She said softly, with a softens he only heard when she was telling his kids stories. “ I am already old enough to step in a few days a week. At least on the administrative side of things, see how our family business is handled. And I think New York can handle not having you swinging about for one night a week, so you can have a proper date night. I’m happy to babysit.” Peter looked at her with such gratitude, a huge weight lifted of his shoulders as he whispered a heartfelt “thank you” and kissed her hand.
“ Oh no problem,” she dismissed him “ I’m doing it more for me than you really, turns out Ben is a great wedding planner” she added casually, turning her attention back to her food and leaving Peter staring at her with wonder in his eyes.
“ What?” He asked incredulously, “ what are you saying?”
“ Oh, didn’t I tell you?” She feigned innocence, “ Max and I are getting married next spring. Thought you knew”
And Peter started laughing, maybe it was due to exhaustion, or just surprise. Maybe it was because he was so freaking happy for his little sister. And when he stopped laughing he just got up from his chair and gave her a huge hug. Asked her to tell him everything. Who had proposed? How was the planning? Did Pepper know? Did Happy? When did she get engaged and did she have a maid of honor?
Morgan answered everyone of his questions with a smile on her face and as she did, the tables in the restaurants cleared, people left and new people came inside. Some of them threw them curious looks, it was a fancy restaurant but people still stared at them when they were out together. “The Stark Heirs” the media had dubbed them, they had found it funny and had thought about making t-shirts. Pepper wouldn’t let them and May said it was tacky. MJ still gave them each one for Christmas. And as time passed, Peter could sense Morgan getting nervous. He knew her well enough, better than himself, to know when something was bothering her.
“So, are you happy?” He asked honestly, trying to find if he could help with anything. And also, in a way, fulfilling her role as her older brother.
“So happy. Really” she answered with such confidence, Peter knew she was sure of what she was doing, she was a Stark after all. “I just, I need to ask you something. It’s okay if you say no” She added the last part quickly, and Peter knew this was what made her nervous. He nodded, urging her to continue “ I’ve been thinking a lot about this day, about who will be there with me,” Peter didn’t think she had ever spoken so slowly before “ and as we both know there is one person that I would love to have by my side, one person who is not able to,” Peter nodded, grabbed her hand in support. “ There have been so many moments in my life where I wanted dad to be there, wondered what he would say; would he have hugged me when I won first place in my debating competition? Would he have gotten along with Max right after meeting him? What would he have said when I first got drunk at a party?” Peter chuckled at the memory, time had made it funny. “ And I will never know, because as you said, he made a huge sacrifice so that I could enjoy all these moments by myself. The thing is, that I never had to,” She looked up at Peter, tears were glistening in her eyes, “ I never had to enjoy this moments by myself because I had a family; I had my mom and uncle Happy and Rhodey. And I always had you. Everytime that I would wonder what my father would have done, I just thought of you and what you did. And I know that you’ve tried to hide it, tried to make it pass as your own actions. But I’ve realized that there are so many things that you have done for me simply because you thought that that’s what he would have done if he were here.” Peter smiled at her, had always known she would realize eventually, “ You yelled at me in the most un-Peter way when I got drunk, and you asked Max all sorts of intimidating questions before accepting him, you were clapping louder than anyone else when I received my debating trophy, and now..” He felt tears cloud his own vision, felt a breath escape his lips, “ Now there is one more moment that I would like to have dad by my side. But he isn’t here, at least not physically. So I am asking you.” She took a deep breath, tears full of emotions running down her cheeks “Pete, would you walk me down the aisle?” And Peter could only get up once again, and hug his little sister. “ Of course, Mor. It would be my pleasure.”
And it would be. Peter had known Morgan since she was 5. They had met under the most terrible circumstances and even then, she had been a light in the darkness that surrounded Peter. He had been by her side ever since. After all, they both shared a pair of empty shoes. And at first it had been what kept them together, they would each try them on from time to time, walk in them for a bit when the other needed help. But they always felt too big, too uninviting. They always felt like they were someone else’s , and they were. So the years went by, and they each made their own footprint by the other’s side, their own shoe that can never be filled by another. And yet, here Morgan was, asking Peter to step once more into their dad’s shoes, and Peter did. Because it was Morgan who asked, so he complied. And he put them on, without taking off his own shoes first, and suddenly they fit so much better.
Because after all these years, Peter had finally understood that no one could ever fill the shoes that Tony Stark had left behind. No one else would ever be Tony Stark, no one could come close to the legend, to the father and mentor that he had become. But Peter was who he was because of who Tony had been and so was Morgan. So while no one could replicate the greatness that was Tony Stark, no one came closer, than Morgan and Peter when they stood together, side by side, a pair of big empty shoes right in the middle.