10 years gone
The ten year anniversary of Tony Stark’s death was coming up. The world knew, events were being organized, ceremonies were going to be held; the world was trying to commemorate the sacrifice that Iron Man had made, ten years ago. The sacrifice that allowed them all to carry on as if nothing happened.
Peter couldn't. He knew the anniversary was coming up, and yet he was making no preparations. Because he didn't need to remember Iron Man or the sacrifice that he made, he remembered Tony Stark everyday. And, sure, on the actual day he would maybe think about him a little more; the first few years he had spent the day sitting by the lake in the Stark household, trying to understand what Tony had done, imagining what his life would be like if he hadn’t done it.
And the years went by and he grew, he started spending that day in the lab. He would work on his Spiderman suit, make up new protocols and name them after things that he thought Tony would have found funny. Sometimes he would walk by his memorial in Manhattan, mostly the day after, just to see the flowers that people had left, to take the letters and drawings home; to show Morgan that the world still remembered her father.
But mostly Peter thought about Tony in between. His life was now measured by the time that passed between two anniversaries. Measured by all the things that he went through that he would have liked to tell Tony about.
It was during year 3 that he had gotten into MIT and he had celebrated with his family but he had gone through the lab as well, had told Dum-E who had beeped in what Peter hoped was a proud expression. During year 5 May and Happy had gotten engaged, Peter was thrilled although he tried to hide it from both of them. He spent the day looking at pictures of Pepper and Tony’s wedding, thankful that he would get to be a part of this one. And it was during year 6 that he had gotten the guts to ask MJ out with the help of Morgan and Happy. And he only had to wait until year 7 for her to bring up the idea of marriage.
They had gotten married during the 8th year. And Peter doesn't think that there has been a single day when he missed Tony more. He stood there with Ned by his side as MJ walked down the aisle. He had chuckled when Morgan delivered the rings (they didn't know anyone younger) and he had choked up when she had hugged MJ after the ceremony and welcomed her to the family.
He felt a knot in his throat when Pepper approached him with a watery smile and hugged him while whispering “He would be so proud, Pete”. And a few tears rolled down his cheek when Rhodey had told him, after a heated debate with MJ on wether or not the military was a necessary evil, that “God, Tony would have loved her”.
And now here he was, reaching the end of year 9. With a wife by his side and a baby on the way. A boy, MJ had said. And Peter couldn't be happier. He was ecstatic, but he was also so very nervous. And so he could hardly sleep, and when he couldn't sleep there was only one thing left to do.
Peter put on his suit, kissed a sleeping MJ on her forehead and left. Swinging through Queens was so liberating. And even though it was 3 am on a Friday night, it was still NYC. So he got to stop a few robberies, he walked a few girls home and made sure some others got in safely from a distance. He stopped a mugging and got a few selfies with some loyal drunken Spiderman fans. But he was still excited, he still had a million things going through his head. So he found a nice rooftop, with a good view of The City. And he sat there. He talked to Karen, checked that all her basic functions where working properly. He thought about his life, about his job at Stark Industries, about the presentation he had on Monday. And he thought about the future, about his son and MJ. About what Tony would say if he knew that he was having a child. He wondered if wherever he was, he could feel it. And he would have stayed there; mask off, staring deep into the night, but his phone started ringing.
It was Morgan. Peter’s heartbeat quickened and he inmediatly picked up. “Hello?” He knew he sounded panicked, he didn't really care. “Morgan? Are you there?”.
“Um, hello” That wasn't Morgan. Why was someone calling from Morgan’s phone? At 4 in the morning. “This is Sasha. I'm Morgan’s friend, she told me to call you.” Okay, a friend. Peter could work with that. Except, Sasha sounded panicked herself. And Peter’s spider- hearing could pick up dry heaving and crying in the back.
“What’s going on? Is Morgan okay? Where are you?” He asked every question at once and he still felt like he needed to ask more. Before he could do, Sasha spoke back.
“We are at a party in the city... Lexington and 87th. Some senior invited us to his birthday” Peter swore under his breath. “Morgan had a lot to drink, she is not feeling well. She told me you lived nearby and would pick her up.”
“Yeah yeah, I'm on my way.” Peter had started swinging in that direction the minute he got an address. “Give her water if you can but don't leave her alone.” He thought back to how much he would have wanted someone to tell him he was doing the right thing if it was him. Someone to assure him that he was not betraying a friend. “You did well, Sasha. Thanks for calling me” And he ended the call.
It took Peter less than 10 minutes to get to the building’s rooftop. And he thanked every god there was that he was wearing civilian clothing underneath the suit. He followed the sound of the music and found the apartment.
It was full of people. Of kids. They were all drinking alcohol and Peter didn't need enhanced senses to smell the weed. He looked around and tried to find a face he recognized from Morgan’s class. He couldn't. They all seemed to be older, all seniors. And too many of them were men, in his opinion. He grew more worried, he didn't need to be a genius to know what seniors wanted with drunk and defenseless freshmen that they invited to their parties. He asked around for the bathroom and quickly found the door.
Through the door he could pick up hushed voices. “Your brother is coming Morgan, don’t worry. Just breathe”. He entered and shut the door behind him. The sight in front of him broke his heart. Morgan was kneeling before the toilet, makeup running down her face. She was wearing an outfit that Peter hesitated to call actual clothes. Sasha was sitting behind her, one hand rubbing up and down her back and the other holding up her hair. She reminded him of Ned.
They both noticed him and Sasha helped Morgan stand up. The minute she was standing she slumped against him and started muttering into his neck “I’m not feeling well, Pete. I want to go”. The smell of the alcohol on her almost made him vomit. He quickly took off his hoodie and put it on Morgan. He asked Sasha if she had a ride home and when she said yes, he picked Morgan up and quickly left the scene.
He managed to get them inside a cab without much trouble. He knew he would have to talk to Morgan in the morning. He would have to let Pepper know what had happened. He didn't even know where she thought Morgan was. But all of that was less important than helping his sister right now. So he kept rubbing her back and softly asked “Upstate or Queens?”. Morgan quickly replied: queens it was.
The cab ride was relatively quick. There weren't many people at 5 am in the streets. Peter carried a sleeping Morgan up into his apartment. He took her to the guest room and woke her up. Helped her brush her teeth and gave her one of his science pun shirts to sleep in. Kissed her on the forehead and said goodnight. Before he went to bed he shot Pepper a quick text.
“Morgan is sleeping over. Just picked her up from a party. Call you in the morning with more details. Xo”
He woke up not even two hours later with MJ’s alarm. He stayed in bed while she got dressed and then, as she kissed him goodbye and left for work he got up and got started on breakfast. Pancakes and scrambled eggs: Morgan’s favorite.
He could only enjoy the quiet for 15 minutes before his phone was ringing and he found himself retelling what had happened the night before to a very angry and very grateful Pepper. And just as he was hanging up, another 20 minutes later, he heard soft footsteps behind him. He turned around and found Morgan, looking much better than the night before. Her face was clean, her hair was up in a neat bun and she was wearing one of Peter’s old hoodies, that had actually been Tony’s.
“Was that mom?” She asked hoarsely as she approached the kitchen and sat on the island in front of Peter. He nodded. “ Is she mad at me?”
“Well, she is not thrilled” Peter put the breakfast plate in front of her, along with a glass of O.J and an aspirin. “She said something about you being grounded forever I believe.”
“Of course she did” Morgan mumbled under her breath. Peter’s head snapped towards her. He had planned to be understanding. Even forgiving and kind. Had thought of a long speech about why drinking at 15 should not be a thing. About why it messed up her brain and how she should know better. But in came Morgan with the audacity to be angry. Angry at the consequences of her actions. And Peter’s plan went out the door.
“What did you say?” The bite in his words did not go unnoticed and neither did the stink eye he received from his sister. Or the way she held his gaze as she answered.
“I said: Of course she did” she punctuated every word. As if she was talking to a child. “She can’t be bothered to ask me about why I would do something like that. Or even let me explain myself.” Morgan was gesticulating wildly and Peter knew that this was the anger speaking. That she didn't really mean it. He did. But nothing could prepare him for what she said next. “My dad is better at parenting than she is. And he is fucking dead.”
It felt like someone slapped him across the face. He couldn't believe her right now. He tried to play the understanding part, the incredulous part. And now he had to play the angry big brother part. And he felt ready. Not because he liked it, but because he couldn't believe the venom, the hatred behind Morgan’s words.
“Listen here Morgan” she immediately looked up to him, probably thinking that she had never seen him so angry. “Your mother is grounding you because what you did was fucking stupid. Going into what is practically a frat party alone. With only one friend. And not only that but getting drunk enough that you couldn't even stand up?” Peter was livid. He wasn't necessarily screaming. But he was definitely ranting. “That is the most stupid and groundable thing you have ever done. Pepper is a great mother. She has been raising you all this time by herself. While running one of the world’s biggest companies.” Morgan opened her mouth to speak but Peter put a hand up to stop her. “Nuh-uh. The adult is talking” God, he couldn't sound more like Tony if he tried.
And on that subject... “You wanna know what your dad would say if he was parenting you right now? Let me tell you what he would say. He would tell you that he expected more of you. That you were making stupid ass decisions and that he would not stand by and let you destroy yourself. If you caught him on a good day, maybe he would consider not calling every single one of the seniors to tell them to never speak to you again. And only then would he ground you.” Morgan wasn't even looking at Peter now. And he knew he was being tough, but he also understood that this was something Morgan needed to hear. “And you know what? Pepper would be the one calming him down. Telling him that it was a small mistake, that you wouldn't do it again.” Peter started to calm down. He sat next to Morgan and made her look at him.
“But your mom can't do that. She doesn't have that luxury anymore, just as you don't have the honor of seeing Tony Stark destroy every single senior that attended that party. Pepper has to be the one to put her foot down. That doesn't mean she loves you any less, or is a worse parent. If anything it means she loves you enough to help you become the best version of yourself that you can be.”
Morgan nodded. She understood, Peter knew she would, she is the smartest person he knows. She didn't look like she wanted to talk. But Peter knew her better than himself, knew that she wouldn't just go to a party and get drunk in the way most teenagers would. He knew there was a reason.
“Okay so I played the bad cop, now it’s back to good old Pete” Morgan chuckled, “Wanna tell me what happened last night?”
“You know what happened last night, you were there” Morgan mumbled with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Mor, C’mon.” He bumped his own shoulder against hers. “You can tell me anything. No judgement”
Morgan sighed deeply, put her head in her hands. Hiding away in embarrassment and started, “This senior, Matt. Invited me and Sasha to his birthday party. Said he wanted to know if Starks could really party as much as dad had.” Peter felt anger building up inside him. Anger at someone using Morgan for her last name, at someone disrespecting Tony’s memory.
“Why would you go?” He asked genuinely curious. Morgan had never cared about what outsiders said about his dad. She always said you could be a saint and they would still criticize you for forgetting to say thank you. And he definitely knew she didn't care enough to do all of this because a guy was cute.
“I just, I don't know anything about my dad” Peter wanted to protest. “I know you told me, and I remember that as if I had lived it. But the truth is, I didn't. It’s been almost ten years since dad died and I miss him everyday. And you and mom and Happy you all say that I am so much like him. And I don't see it, because I don't know enough to know which of the things I do are me and which are more like him. So when Matt said that my father had loved parties...”
“You thought you would feel closer to him if you got black-out drunk?” He finished for her. The ideas finally falling into place.
“Well, no. I just thought if I went and I enjoyed it, then I would know that it was something I shared with dad. Getting drunk just sort of happened. A group of seniors invited me to play beer pong with them and I was too shy to say no.”
Peter understood that feeling, had been on the receiving end many times before. He put his arm around his sister and kissed the side of her head.
“I’m sorry for worrying you Pete. I was just trying to find it. To find the thing that me and my dad share. You are good with science like he was, you know? And you are also a super hero. All I have is some of his genes, maybe his eyes. And the occasional snarky comment. It’s been ten years. That’s not enough anymore.” She finished softly. Peter sighed, he didn't know what to say.
“Well, I think you have more in you from your dad than the occasional snarky comment. But I think that’s not really what matters. You should try to be you, Mor. And whatever you do, I'm sure your dad’s influence will be behind it. But even then. He would be proud all the same.” He could feel Morgan slumping against him. Knew that he was right but it was not the answer she had wanted. “Though if you really want to know something that you and your dad share...” He felt Morgan sitting up straighter, paying more attention. “I don't know anyone but you two who could make Pepper so mad.” Morgan laughed softly. “Definitely no one but a Stark would do something as stupid as what you did last night, only that your dad did it at his own birthday party. I think he even peed inside one of his suits.” Morgan was full-on laughing now.
They stayed like that for a few more minutes and then, “Okay, mini Stark, time to get dressed. You have to go face Pepper.” They both stood up.
“I’m dead meat.” Morgan said as she walked towards the guest room. But before she could turn the corner she looked over her shoulder and said, “Hey, Pete, will you be there with me?”
And Peter could swear that as he answered, it was not only his voice that talked back. But another one deeper and more distant. Definitely more comforting. “Every step of the way.”