Chapter 11
Nat didn’t know how long she waited in her car.
The sun had finished rising, now hanging high in the afternoon sky. She’d left the base a while ago, left the entirety of New Asgard passed out over and on any flat surface. As she looked at the house, she realized this might be the first time she’d left the base since coming back. She almost laughed. Even after dying, she still couldn’t manage to get a life.
Had she been anyone else, the knock on the window would have given her a heart attack. She didn’t turn, didn’t need to look to know who stood outside her car. Instead, she unlocked the door, and waited until her companion sat down next to her.
“You know, most people come up to the front door.”
“Most people don’t have an AI with access to the cameras hidden within a 50 mile radius of their house,” she said in response.
Pepper smiled. “We both know FRIDAY isn’t the reason you’ve been hiding out here.”
“Who says I’m hiding?” She tried to put a smile in her words, but they lacked her usual bite.
“You forget who my husband was,” she said with a smile. “Tony was an expert at disappearing in plain sight.”
Nat felt as if the air got sucked out of the car entirely. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, more out of habit than anything. “It was supposed to be me. It was only supposed to be me.”
“Hey,” Pepper said, and she put her hand over Nat’s. “You know that isn’t your fault.”
“If I hadn’t come in the first place, if I hadn’t dragged him into it, maybe—“
“Maybe nothing.” Pepper took a deep breath. “I’ve always known we were on borrowed time. I’m not sure that I believe in fate, or destiny, or whatever you want to call it, but I knew that the world would need Tony again. And that when it did, he’d go. No matter what.”
Nat just nodded.
“I know it’s probably still hard for you.” Pepper continued. “The rest of us have had months to grieve together, adjust together. For you it’s been, what, weeks? I can’t imagine how lonely that must feel.”
“I’m fine.”
“I’m not,” Pepper said, and Nat looked over at her. “I mean, I’m better now than I was, but I’m discovering that I can’t compartmentalize this one. Can’t move past it. Just gotta keep going through it, carrying parts of it with me as I move forward.”
“How’s that working out for you?”
“Alright so far,” she said with a soft smile. “Some days are better than others. It helps that I have someone else to worry about. I don’t know how I’d handle this if I was alone.”
Nat swallowed. “Speaking of that,” she said, “I owe you an apology. For disappearing. And for not coming around before.”
“Don’t even start with that,” Pepper shook her head. “Just come inside. The girls are waiting for you.”
“Girls?” Nat asked, but Pepper had already opened the car door, and Nat quickly followed.
Walking into the house, the first thing she noticed was the music. Elsa’s belt of “let it go” echoed across the house, another voice layered on top.
“If I have to hear this song one more time,” Pepper said under her breath, “I’ll freeze Arrendale myself.”
They walked into the family room, and Nat froze. Standing on an ottoman was Morgan, wearing a blue princess dress and a matching crown. Sitting on the couch next to her was Nebula, an identical crown resting on her head.
Morgan turned back toward them. Nat looked at her, waiting for...well, for what exactly she wasn’t sure. Here was the very thing she’d spent weeks avoiding, years if she counted the time after the snap. She expected something to happen, to feel something, react in someway, but she felt nothing. No fear, no dread, no guilt. She was just a kid.
“Morgan,” Pepper said, “come meet Auntie Nat.” The girl ran over as Nat forced the warm feeling in her gut to simmer down.
“We’re watching Frozen!” She said by way of introduction. Morgan grabbed Nat’s hand and dragged her towards the tv. “I’m Anna, and Auntie Neby is Elsa. Because she’s blue.” She leaned in, trying to whisper into Nat’s ear but not lowering her voice at all. “When I grow up, I’m gonna be just like Auntie Neby. With a robot hand and everything.”
“That’s a good life goal,” Nat managed to say. She kept staring back at Nebula, who sat staring intensely at the movie, and Nat couldn’t decide whether she was trying to hold in a tears or a smile. Or maybe both.
They watched the rest of the movie. Morgan sang every word, and Nat was almost surprised to find Nebula nodding along with the songs.
When the credits started rolling, she finally turned back toward Nat. “Were you a friend of Daddy’s?”
“I—“ Nat started, unprepared for the girl’s bluntness. “Yeah. I was a good friend of your Dad.”
“Lots of my new Aunties were friends of Daddy,” she continued, seemingly unfazed by the topic of conversation. “I think he was the most friendliest man alive.”
“I think he was,” Nat said, “but can I tell you a secret?” Morgan’s eyes widened as Nat leaned in, and fake-whispered, “Your mom was my friend first.”
Morgan gasped, as if the news baffled her. She then, taking on as serious of a look as she could probably get, nodded. “I won’t tell anyone,” she promised, and Nat just winked at her.
Morgan ran off then, Nat’s entertainment value having worn off. “Mommy!” She called out as she left, “Put it on again! Put it on again!”
“How many times have you seen this movie?” She asked Nebula.
“Thirty-seven.”
“You’re a good aunt,” Nat said with a smile, and she watched as Nebula tried to keep her cool demeanor.
“I quite enjoy it.”
“What, the movie or being an aunt?”
“Both.”
“That’s good,” Nat said, reaching over for her friend’s hand, giving an internal sigh of relief when she didn’t pull away. “You deserve this.”
“Deserve what?”
“Happiness. Joy. Whatever else being here gives you.”
“Being here…” she started, and Nat realized she didn’t know how often Nebula had come to the Stark residence before, how often she made unsanctioned trips to Earth in the time after the snap. “Had it not been for the child, I don’t think I ever would have come back.”
Nat nodded in understanding, even as Nebula kept her eyes focused elsewhere.
“But now,” she continued, “now I can’t imagine not coming back here. Not having a place to return to every time we pass by this section of the galaxy. Not seeing her face.”
“She’s your home.”
“I wish Gamora had met him,” she said, ignoring the weight in Nat’s words. “She’d likely have punched him in the face during their first meeting, but she’d have grown to appreciate him. Just as I did.”
“I’m sorry,” Nat said.
“As am I.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“Not appreciating what you did. During those five years, you near single handedly kept this planet from falling apart. I know, because after the battle, it almost collapsed again, as did your friends.” She turned to face her, her eyes filled with an intensity that Nat had grown accustomed to. “This planet needs you on it, Natasha.”
“I don’t plan on leaving any time soon,” she said, a smile starting to sneak up onto her face.
“Good.” Nebula turned back toward the tv, just in time for Morgan and Pepper to walk back in.
“Aunty Neby, will you sing with me this time?” Morgan asked, and Nat had to physically bite back a laugh.
“‘No.”
“Come on, Aunty Neby!” She pleaded.
“Yeah,” Nat said, “come on, Aunty Neby.”
Nebula gave her a glare that could have cut through stone, before turning back toward the tv. “One song. No more.”
Morgan squealed, and Nat couldn’t hold her laughter in anymore. She sat back, and watched the familiar castle fill up the screen. Despite her protests, Nebula sang every song, and it was beautiful.