After Thanos had snapped his fingers five years ago, disintegrating half of the universe in a matter of seconds, you wondered how those of you that survived would ever again feel anything other than pain.
When Clint returned from Vormir without Natasha, who had sacrificed herself so that he could obtain the Soul Stone, you felt that your heart would never be whole again.
Then, when Tony had given his life - by wielding the Iron Gauntlet which held the Infinity Stones he had managed to steal from Thanos - in order to defeat the mad Titan, you thought you finally knew what heartbreak really was.
But now, looking out over the lake at Tony and Pepper’s property, you knew.
You had never truly understood how much a heart could break until this very moment.
*****************************************
You and Sam were talking with Bruce, double checking the ‘time machine’ so that the Infinity Stones could be returned to their rightful places in the past and the timeline restored without any glitches.
Unsurprisingly, Steve had immediately volunteered to take the stones back to where they belonged. One last mission before he retired for good. He’d told you that he had finally made the decision to hang up his shield and settle down. You’d felt overjoyed at the thought of him finally getting his happy ever after. If anybody deserved a happy ending, it was Steve Rogers.
So now, Steve donned the quantum travel suit one last time, and was carrying the case which held the Infinity Stones. He shook hands with Sam, and then turned to Bucky. “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”
Bucky gave a soft smile. “How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” The two of them shared a look, one that you couldn’t quite decipher. They’d often had these silent mental conversations. It was one of the benefits of their lifelong friendship.
Steve turned to you. “Well, Y/N, this is it. Time to put these things back where they came from or so help me…”
You rolled your eyes. “Dude, don’t be quoting Monsters Inc. at a time like this.”
“We’re ready for you, Cap,” Bruce called.
Steve gave you a sweet kiss, one that felt as if it was filled with enormous sadness. “Wish me luck.”
You gave him a tight hug, and he held you close, making you feel as if he was trying to squeeze you into his heart so that he could carry you with him. “See you soon, Steve.”
Pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, he whispered, “See you, Y/N.”
Why did that sound so much like a goodbye?
Stepping onto the platform, Steve activated his helmet and gave Bruce a curt nod. Switches were flicked, a brief flash, and he was gone.
“How long will he be gone?” Sam asked.
“For him? As long as he needs,” Bruce replied. “But for us, it will be about five seconds.”
You chewed your nails nervously as you waited for the man you loved to return. The five seconds passed, and yet there was no sign of Steve. A brief shimmer of movement when he was supposed to arrive back, then nothing.
“Where is he?” Sam sounded panicked.
“I don’t know! He skipped right past his time jump.” Bruce was staring at the instrument panel in consternation.
“Bring him back, Bruce! Bring him back now!” you demanded, frantic.
“I’m trying, Trigger!”
Bucky called softly. “Trigger, Sam.”
Turning, you followed Bucky’s gaze. He pointed to the bench seat near the lake on the Stark property. There was a strange man sitting there.
“Who the hell…” you started.
Bucky held up a hand to silence you. He looked at Sam. “Go talk to him.”
Sam looked at Bucky, then at you. With a shrug, he headed towards the man. You noticed Sam give a start, then begin talking to the stranger. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you saw Sam give him a sad smile.
“Bucky, what’s going on?”
He pulled you close to his chest and pressed a soft kiss to your hair. “It’s all right, doll-face. Everything is going to be all right.”
Eventually, Sam returned to the two of you, carrying what looked to be… was that Steve’s shield?
Sam gestured over his shoulder with his thumb. “He wants to talk to you, Trigger.”
You gave Bucky a confused look, and he nodded, pushing you towards the stranger. “Go on."
Hesitantly, you made your way to the bench. As you approached, the elderly gentleman turned towards you with a sweet smile on his face. He looked somewhat familiar, but you couldn’t quite place him.
“Hey, doll.” A familiar pair of twinkling blue eyes stared into yours.
You blinked. “Steve?”
Steve held out his arms, and you threw yourself at him, heedless of the fact that he was now most definitely a senior citizen. “I missed you, doll,” he whispered as he held you. His embrace was not as strong as it had been, and yet there was still an undeniable strength present.
You pulled away and glared at him, tears glittering in your eyes. “You took your sweet-ass time coming home.”
Steve gave you an apologetic glance. “I took a little detour through the journey we call life. Tony always said I needed to start living.”
Your throat constricted. “Was it a good life?”
He nodded. “It was the best life.”
He took your hands in his, and you noticed the wedding band on his left hand. Your heart clenched. “I guess this means you got your dance with Peggy.”
“I did.”
The tears flowed freely down your face. Steve had promised that he would return as soon as he’d taken the stones back in time, but now you realised that he hadn’t said he would come back to this time.
Steve gently wiped away your tears. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I never meant to hurt you.”
You shook your head. “You did exactly what you said you were going to do, Steve. I can’t really blame you for taking the opportunity to live the life you never got to have. I probably would have done the same thing if it was me in that situation.”
Another sweet smile. “Peggy always did say that you sounded far too sensible to put up with an idiot like me.”
You raised your eyebrows. “You told Peggy about me? You remembered me?”
“Of course, doll. How could I forget my best friend? I had to tell my best girl all about the only other girl who could ever make me feel truly alive.”
He brought out his compass, and showed you the new photo that adorned the side opposite to Peggy’s photo. It was of you, taken the day of your very first date with Steve, all those years ago. You wore a bright smile, laughing at a joke that you didn’t remember. “Peggy saw this and told me I’d found a good one in you.”
“She believed you? That you’d travelled through time and had come back to her from the future?”
“Y/N, Peggy saw the stuff that Howard Stark was working on during the war. She helped found S.H.I.E.L.D. She knew better than to dismiss anything, no matter how ludicrous it sounded.”
Taking a deep breath, you asked softly, “Did you have a family?”
His smile was proud. “Sure did. Three kids, a boy and two girls. Five grandkids, and even a couple of great-grandchildren now.”
“Congratulations. I’m going to take a wild guess and say your boy’s name is James.”
“Sure is, James Samuel Rogers. He’s my firstborn.” Steve pulled out a photo showing three smiling young people, who looked to be in their teens when the photo was taken. You noted that James looked like Steve, but had dark hair and eyes as opposed to the blond hair and blue eyes of his father.
Steve pointed to the older girl. “Sarah was born a couple of years later, we named her after my mother. She’s the spitting image of Peggy. And then there was my youngest girl…”
“Let me guess. You named her Margaret after her mother.” You looked at the young girl with a cheeky grin on her face.
Steve shook his head. “No. Margaret is Sarah’s middle name. We named our youngest girl Y/N.”
You stared at Steve with your mouth open. “You named your daughter after me?”
“It was Peggy’s idea. That way, you were always with me.” Steve chuckled. “I mean that in more ways than one. Jeez, that girl was just like you. Biggest tomboy I ever knew. Wouldn’t listen to a word I said, always sassing me back. A real spitfire. But she also had the biggest heart of any of them. Generous to a fault, compassionate, loving. She became a nurse. God, I was so proud of her. I know we’re supposed to love all our kids the same, but just between you and me, Y/N was always my favourite.”
He spoke of his youngest in the past tense. “What happened to her?"
Steve turned sombre. “She was stationed in Vietnam in the early ‘70s. Heading to a new posting, and the convoy she was in went through a road littered with landmines. She was killed on her way to help others.”
“I’m so sorry, Steve.” Your heart broke all over again. Hadn’t this poor man suffered enough?
“War is hell, Y/N. You and I both know that. But I would never have tried to stop her from doing what she thought was right, even if I’d had the power to. She would have just gone and done it anyway.”
“I wonder where she got that from,” you noted wryly.
The two of you sat in silence, looking out over the lake. Steve kept a hold of your hand, seeming intuitively to understand that you found this more comforting than any words he could give you. Eventually, he turned to you once more. “Y/N, sweetheart, I’m so sorry I didn’t come back sooner.”
You shook your head, even as the tears started falling again. “Don’t, Steve. I don’t begrudge you staying behind. You always said that Peggy was the love of your life. I’m just grateful that you had enough room left in your heart to let me have a little piece of it.”
“We did have some good times, didn’t we, doll?”
“We sure did. And I am going to cherish every second we had together for the rest of my life.” You rested your head on Steve’s shoulder. “You know that every other man I meet is going to have great difficulty living up to the standard you’ve set, don’t you?”
“Y/N, you can’t compare every man to Captain America.”
You shook your head once more. “Not Cap. Steve. If a guy can’t measure up to Steve Rogers, then he’s probably not worth my time.”
Steve pressed a kiss to your hair. “Probably just as well. Now that Sam is taking over the mantle of Captain America, that’s a pretty lofty standard to reach.”
“Sam’s a good choice. He’ll make you proud.”
“He’s going to need some help. I don’t think he feels up to the task just yet.”
You gave a watery smile. “Well, I’ve had a bit of practice at being Cap’s sidekick. I’ll make sure I’m always on his left.”
“I knew I could count on you, doll.”
You shivered as the wind picked up, causing the water of the lake to lap against the shore. “We should probably head inside. Can’t have an old man like you catching a cold.”
Steve accepted the hand you offered, and the two of you walked back towards the Stark residence. Sam and Bucky were still waiting, and Steve joined Sam as they headed into the house, the two of them laughing together.
Bucky hung back to walk with you. “Are you okay, doll-face?”
You stopped walking and looked at him. “Did you know?”
He didn’t need to ask what you were referring to. Sighing, he replied, “Yeah, Trigger. I knew. He told me last night. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but he asked me not to say anything.”
“It’s fine, Bucky. He did what he had to do.”
Bucky grabbed your hand in his metal one, causing you to look up at him. “Steve made me promise him that I’d take care of you, doll-face. He knew this was going to be hard for you, and that you’re probably gonna need someone to shout and scream at until you feel okay. I’m more than happy to be that person if you need me.”
You looked into the blue-grey eyes of your friend. You were almost as fond of Bucky as you were of Steve. The two were pretty much a package deal when you met them, and you knew that Bucky had a soft spot for you as well. Lacing your fingers with his vibranium ones, you gave him a small smile. “I’m not sure about the shouting and screaming, but I’m fairly certain I’m going to need a shoulder to cry on for a bit.”
Bucky have you his trademark smirk. “I’ve got pretty broad shoulders, doll-face. I think I can handle it.”
“I dunno, Sarge. I was actually thinking of asking Sam. I mean, he is Captain America, after all.”
You were rewarded with a roll of those beautiful eyes. “You wound me, Y/N.”
“You’ll live. Now let’s get inside. I want to hear more about the life Steve finally got to live.”
Bucky wrapped his arm around your shoulder and held you close as the two of you headed indoors. It didn’t feel the same as being held by Steve, but it wasn’t unpleasant, either. It was just different, and different wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Things hadn’t worked out the way you’d anticipated when Steve had offered to return the Infinity Stones to their correct place in time, but you had a feeling that things were going to turn out exactly the way they were meant to be.
Steve had finally ironed out that little wrinkle in time.