Lullaby
"You nervous?"
Nagulat ako sa babaeng nagsalita sa likuran ko.
Mas lalong dumagungdong ang puso ko pagkakita dito.
Alam kong hindi lang dahil sa kaba pero dahil narin sa paghanga.
Huminga ako ng malalim bago kinuha ang kamay nitong libre dahil ang isang kamay nito ay may hawak na gitara.
Pinisil ko Ito
"A little" pag amin ko.
Yumuko ako habang tinitingnan ang kamay namin na magkahawak.
Pasimple ko itong hinahaplos ng aking hinlalaki.
Bumuntong hininga ako dahil Hindi parin mawala wala ang kaba ko.
Ngayon lang ako makakapagperform sa harap Ng maraming Tao, at maraming pwedeng manuod dahil nasa television mismo Kami.
There's not room for error, at ayaw Kong mapahiya si Achira ng dahil sakin.
"I'm here." Malumay nitong Sabi na pilot sinisilip ang mukha ko.
" What if...I- I black out? Or made a huge mistake? " I said fear consuming me
" Or - or mapigtasan ng strings! Yah, okay pa ba to?" Nagpapanic kong sabi.
Binitiwan ko ang kamay nito at sinuri ang gitarang hawak ko.
Kagad naman ako nitong pinigilan.
Kinuha nito ang gitara sa akin at pinaupo ako sa may malapit na upuan.
" Carrot, relax okay. Breath in and...out " she said gesturing me to calm down.
I just do what she says and just fill my thoughts with positive things.
Nang okay na ako, kagad Kong inabot ang kamay nito at dinala sa labi ko.
"Thank you" mahina kong sabi
"Carrot, you know that I'll never let anything bad happen to you and your band right?"
Tumango Lang ako habang mas lalong hinigpitan ang hawak sa kamay nito.
"Then trust me because I trust you... And trust yourself too."
Itinaas nito ang aking mukha bago inilapit nag mukha para halikan ako sa noo.
" You'll be fine. I'm here. "
I feel energised because of her.
I suddenly have the urge to take pride on what I'm capable of and what I have right now...
' I have her, beside me '.
That's all I need.
.
.
.
Nasa entablado na Kami at naghahanda sa recording na magaganap.
Nakapatay ang ilaw pero alam ko parin kung saang parte sya nakatayo.
Naririnig ko ang bulungan ng mga tao sa aming harapan na isina walang bahala ko.
Huminga ako ng malalim at inayos ang suot na maskara.
Bago ko pa man masabit ang gitara sa aking balikat ay may taong lumapit sa akin para tulungan ako.
Hindi ko man Ito Makita ng maayos dahil sa dilim pero alam na alam ko kung sino Ito.
Gentle touch and soothing calmness.
It must be an auto pilot for me to reach for her hand and hold it.
Pinisil ko muna ito bago binitiwan.
" Thank you " Sabi ko habang pilit na inaaninag ang mukha nito.
" You're always welcome carrot. Now, let's make them drool, alright?"
Natawa ako sa sinabi nito pero tumango rin kahit alam kong hindi rin ako nito makita ng maayos.
Nagulat ako ng may hanging bumuga sa aking tenga.
Nakalapit na pala Ito sa akin.
" I'll sing for you so better keep your eyes on me " nang aakit na Sabi nito bago tuluyang lumayo sa gawi ko.
' Okay... What was that? '
.
.
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“Hello everyone! Good evening good evening!"
The host said.
“Thank you for coming tonight! I hope you’re excited and ready for our special guest for tonight!”
Kinikilig pa nitong sabi bago tumingin sa gawi namin.
“Before ko ipakilala ang bandang ito, I have a little theory about this.
One of the member of this band have been with us and this industry for almost a decade.
Hinahangaan, pinagpapatasyahan at kinagigiliwan ng lahat.
She’s been independent since the beginning of her career, but I was curious on why she decided to put up a band to share this lovely stage for them?”
Mahabang sabi nito bago muling tumingin sa amin.
“I really want to know what’s on her mind right now.
May we call first to our beloved and inspiring singer and actress, Eir Suarez!”
Nagsigawan lahat ng tao sa loob ng stadium at sya namang focus ng spotlight kay Achira na prenteng nakatayo malapit sa akin.
Tinignan muna ako nito bago pumunta sa gawi ng host.
Itinapat ng host ang mikrophono sa bibig nito.
“Hello everyone, nice to see you again”
natatawang sabi nito habang kumakaway pa.
“So Eir since you’re here na infornt of us.
Can we please know the reason why you open a band even if you’re an independent artist?”
“Curious lang talaga kami, promise!” pahabol pang sabi ng host muling itinapat ang mikropono dito.
Natatawang tumingin naman sa gawi namin si Achira bago muling binalik ang atensyon sa tao.
“Actually, this band was contractual.”
Nakita ko kung pano kumunot ang noo ng host pero hindi ito nagsalita at pinagpatuloy lang ang paghahawak sa mikropono.
“This band will be performing till agreed upon.
Napagkasunduan namin na magpeperform lang tong banda hanggang sa end ng contract nila.
They don’t want to be in the industry for a long time, and I understand that.”
“Question again” singit naman ng host
“Bakit sila ang nakuha mo, instead of other band na willing to do a long-term contract with you?”
Napakunot ang noo ko sa taong ng host.
Alam kong ganun rin ang kabanda ko, dahil nagbubulungan na sila.
“I mean who wouldn’t? they’re everything I’m finding on a band.” Eir said looking at us
Dumako at tingin nito sa akin, bago ngumiti ng tuluyan.
“They have passion for their craft, skills, talent… and they have heart on their music.”
Humarap ito sa host at nginitian ito.
“I’ll never be able to find a band whose funny, comfortable, and inspiring to be with.
I choose them… or rather they chose me.” Natatawang sabi nito
“I like them… they’re special.”
The host gasped for Achira’s sudden speech.
Halos lahat ay manghang nakatingin sa gawi nito bago muling mangibabaw ang palakpakan.
“Wow! What a passionate answer, wasn't it?”
Bumalik si Achira sa gawi ko at Masuyo akong nginitian na sinuklian ko naman.
“Wag na natin patagalin ang paghihintay natin… to give us a glimpse of their talents,
... Please Welcome. Five Fingers!”
Napuno ng hiyawan ang stadium bago tumapat sa amin isa isa ang spotlight.
Tumingin ako sa audience at nakita ko sila JC, Alex at mga kaibigan nito na nakikicheer.
Ang pinsan ko prenteng nakaupo lang habang nakatingin sa akin.
Nginitian lang ako nito at naiinis na inalis ang hawak ni Alex sa kanya na niyuyugyog sya kanina.
Nagsimula ng tumutog si Achira kaya nagfocus na ako sa kanya.
“There I was again tonight
Forcing laughter, faking smiles
Same old tired, lonely place
Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy
Vanished when I saw your face
All I can say is, it was enchanting to meet you”
I didn’t know that this song will come out.
Although alam naman namin ng banda kung paano ito tugtugin, nakakaba parin dahil ba magkamali kami.
It was supposed to be another Taylor swift’s song kaya medyo nawindang kami.
It always gets me every time she sings.
Her voice feels like a lullaby, the one that can a person calm and fall off to a deep sleep.
Na para bang nagiging duyan ang boses nya.
It was always calming and soothing.
“Your eyes whispered, "Have we met?"
'Cross the room your silhouette
Starts to make its way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks
Like passing notes in secrecy”
Tumingin ito sa gawi ko at kinindatan ako bago muling humarap sa audience.
“And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is, I was enchanted to meet you”
Ito ba yung sinasabi nyang kanta kanina?
" I'll sing for you so better keep your eyes on me "
Napangiti ako ng maalala ang sinabi nito kanina.
It was indeed a lullaby. And it’s for me.
‘oww, I’m literary enchanted Snowball’
As the drum making an entrance to the chorus.
She then look at me and nod her head.
“This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you”
As she sang the chorus, kasabay rin nun ang malakas na kabog ng puso ko.
It’s as if, my heart was doing a beat align to the song she’s singing.
A very exact beat.
“The lingering question kept me up
2 AM, who do you love?
I wonder 'til I'm wide awake
And now I'm pacing back and forth
(And now I'm pacing back and forth)
Wishing you were at my door
(Wishing you were at my door, I)
I'd open up and you would say, "Hey"”
Napagpasyahan kong sabayan sya ng paunti na ikinagulat nya.
Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya at pumikit para namnamin ang kanta.
“It was enchanting to meet you
All I know is, I was (All I know is, I was)
enchanted to meet you”
Nakangiti kong binuksan ang mata ko at muling iginawi ang atensyon sa babaeng kanina pa pala nakatitig sa akin.
Ngumiti ito ng napakatamis bago kinanta ang chorus na sinabayan ko narin.
“This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
That this night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you”
Tinignan ko ang banda bago kinasa ang gitara.
Pinaglaruan ko ito habang nakatungtong sa malapit na speaker sa tabi ko.
Napuno ulit ng hiyawan at sigawan ang stadium, na ikanapayapa ko.
Nawala ang kaba na kanina ko pang tinatago, at napalitan ng saya.
Nag angat ako ng tingin ng maramdamang may lumapit sa gawi ko.
Nakangiti itong nakaharap sa akin at inayos ang mikropono sa gitna namin
“This is me praying that
This was the very first page
Not where the story line ends
My thoughts will echo your name, (My thoughts will echo your name)
until I see you again
These are the words I held back, (These are the words I held back)
as I was leaving too soon
I was enchanted to meet you”
Natitig lang ito sa akin habang binibigkas ang huling parte ng kanta,
“Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you
Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you”
Narinig kong sumali narin sila Sam sa pagkanta.
“This night is sparkling, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, blushing all the way home
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
This night is flawless, don't you let it go
I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone
I'll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you”
As we sang the chorus together, I felt like my heart was floating and ready to be wash by the wind even more.
Wala na kong pakialam sa mga tao sa paligid.
Lahat ng atensyon ko, sa kanya lang nakatuon.
Mas naririnig ko pa ang tibok ng puso ko kesa sa tugtog at sa mga taong naghihiyawan.
Nagising lang ako sa diwa ng bigla itong umalis sa tabi ko at bumalik sa pwesto nito.
Tumingin muna uli ito sa gawi ko at ngumiting muli sa akin.
“Please don't be in love with someone else
Please don't have somebody waiting on you”
Habang kinakanta nya ang dulo ng kanta, may isang patak ng luha akong nakita.
Agad kong tinigil ang pagtugtog at handa na sana syang lapitan pero umiling lang ito.
Humarap sya sa mga tao na naintindihan ko kagad.
Magaan akong ngumiti habang nakatingin sa likod nito.
‘I won’t. I won’t fall in love if it’s not you. That’s I’m sure of’
‘I’ll wait till you’re ready. I can do that Snowball.’
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.
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"That was a mind-blowing performance from Five Fingers. "
A loud clapping fills the whole stadium as my heart filled with joy.
I divert my eyes on the woman beside me, wearing a huge smile facing the crowd.
I stared at her as my heart ached because of joy and admiration.
'I hope this night never ends.'
I clearly see her eyes becomes watery before looking at me.
She smiles genuinely which made my heart skips a beat.
' your heart was truly a betrayer '
I saw how her brows furrowed when I heave a sigh.
She immediately cups my cheek before bringing her hand unto mine.
" Ayos ka lang? " She gently said while worry flashes her eyes.
I nodded and smiled genuinely at her.
' I'm not gonna lose her, right? I know... I won't allow it. '
' Please don't let me lose her ' I pleaded as I stare at her.
I still when I heard the crowds cheering and yelling.
As I realize it, I consciously retrieve my eyes on her and face the crowd.
' I can't ... I still can't. '
I feel suffocated as I stare at the huge crowd. Feeling small in every look that they gave.
Worry starting to consume me as I withdrawn her hand unto mine.
I consciously taping my fingers to each other’s behind my back, a sign of nervousness and uneasiness.
I was about to get the mic Infront of me when Halley do it for me.
She went to Kevin's side and said something to him before giving the mic.
She then grabs my wrist and gently push me to the back stage.
She opens the bottled water for me, and I gulped it in one go.
She didn't talk and just stares at me till I calm down.
She held my hand and retreated quickly when some staff passed by.
" Okay Ka na? "
I nooded as a response. I find my voice to talk after a minute.
" Should we go back upstage?" I ask but hoping for her not to say Yes.
" Hmm..." She hummed skahing her head.
" Dito nalang tayo, Sabi ko Kay Kevin na sabihin na masama pakiramdam mo.
Sya na bahala dun" she said informing me about earlier.
" How... How about you? You should head up stage"
I said convincing myself that I'll be okay alone.
But I'm not. I've never been okay... Being alone.
" How about dito nalang ako? Kaya na nila Yun. Dito lang ako sa tabi mo " she said smiling genuinely at me.
My heart beats erratically.
' Do I deserve this? Do I deserve her? '
I've been living on my own dark world without anyone to put me up.
When she comes, I feel like a little light passes through the walls I've made.
Like having the sunrise for the very first time.
A source of light to know the place I've been all along.
A tiny glimpse of what will I get when I break the wall Infront of me.
But as I wanted the brightness to enter my world, I felt like another wall was being made on the upside.
I can't escape. Their building it wider and higher than usual.
I'm afraid that I'll never see the light again.
That's why I'm accepting this little glimpse of her.
The little the better.
I just need a little before they know it and removed it away from me.
' Just a little '
I instantly grab her hand when I saw her stand up.
" Where are you going? "
" Ibibili kita ng pagkain, Baka gutom ka na. Hindi mo na Kasi ako marinig ng maayos eh " she said pouting.
I chuckled a little before intertwining our hand.
" Sama mo ako " I said copying her pouting.
She glances in each side of the room before facing me.
" Okay... Lang ba toh? Baka may makakita? "
I also glance at each side of the room before squeezing her hand.
" I think it's okay. "
She smiles at me before taking me to the exit.
She was careful while pulling me, glancing from left to right, like a thief.
We arrived Infront of my car and quickly get inside.
" So saan Tayo Kain? " She asked busy putting her belt on.
" Whenever you want "
" Okay... Mang inasal, tuturuan kita magkamay! "
She happily said while putting the location on the GPS.
" Is it a date? " I asked that made her still.
I raise my brow when she didn't response.
I look at her only to know that she's looking at me amusingly.
" All this time akala ko nagdadate na tayo pero hindi pa pala " she said emphasizing every word.
" Where dating? " I said teasing her more.
She clasps her chest and undoing her seat belt.
" Grabe, mapanakit ka snowball. Ayoko na! Hindi na kita kilala " madramang Sabi nito
She was about to open the door when I pull her closer to me.
I kissed her cheek and put her seat belt again.
" I thought the first one's was a friendly date. And what did you call me? "
She looks at me dumbfounded and was about to put her belt off again when I gently reach for her hand and hold it.
" Do I look like, I like hanging out with you AS A FRIEND?"
" No, but you keep calling me ' ate ' so I thought you only want me to be your sister "
I said rolling my eyes as I remember it.
" Snowball, malamang. Ano ba kasing matinong itatawag ko sayo. Eh wala nga tayong label— "
" I like that " I cut her.
" Alin? "
" Snowball... I like that more " I said smiling at her.
" ... Snowball and Carrot. Very much bagay " I whispered.
I look at her only to see her staring at me.
She smiles genuinely and caresses my cheek before placing a kiss on my forehead.
" Okay, Yun nalang tatawag ko sayo... Mas bagay nga sayo Yun" she said giggling
"Kasi naman, ayoko naman na tawagin ka sa pangalan mo lang noon,
Baka sabihin ng mga makakarinig na ang bastos ko naman kasi di ako marunong gumalang sa matatan— "
" Continue that and I'll kick you out.”
She quickly smiles at me and kiss my cheek.
" Joke Lang po. Ikaw naman pikon. Pakiss ulit! "
She said attempting to kiss me again.
I quickly put my hand in front of her, that's why ito ang nahalikan nito.
' Silly carrot '
I know she's just teasing me, but she's just really annoying sometimes.
" Whatever let's go. We have an official date to go tonight " I said started the engine.
" Tonight lang? Libre rin ako bukas 8 am for breakfast " she said then wink at me.
I smile and pinch her nose.
" Okay... Tonight and tomorrow morning then "
" Hanggang tomorrow morning lang? " she asked again
I shake my head as we leave the place.
" As long as you want me to be your date. "
" Okay! " She replied before reaching for my hand and holding it again.