Moments I Deem Worthy
“FRIDAY, zoom in on that beam there,” Tony ordered, hovering in midair and squinting at a partially-collapsed section of the building a hundred or so feet away. It had been over two years since the snap, and he and the other Avengers were still helping with clean-up efforts, picking up the remains of buildings and moving them to a designated segment of the city to be disposed of.
“Activating Old Man Bifocals protocol, Boss,” FRIDAY responded, and Tony let out an indignant squawk.
“Old Man Bifoc - I’ve never named any protocol that!” he declared, insulted. “Which munchkin did it, FRI?”
His AI was conspicuously silent. Tony’s eyes narrowed.
“FRIDAY, who was it - Harley or Peter? Or Morgan?” he added. She was a little young, but she was proving herself to be a lot like her old man - too smart for her own good.
The sound of another pair of repulsors approaching had him turning to see a familiar blue-and-silver armor. The helmet retracted to show a grinning Harley. “FRIDAY told me you found one of the Help I’ve Fallen And I Can’t Get Up Protocols,” he said, eyes flashing delightedly, and Tony scowled at him.
“So you’re the one who installed them,” he growled, and Harley smirked.
“Can’t take full credit there, old man - Peter and I teamed up on this one. He said something about getting you back for Baby Monitor protocols or something,” Harley declared gleefully, choosing to hover a little closer to Tony at his own risk. Tony wasn’t resorting to violence though – yet.
He rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, will he just get over it already! I stand by my decision to make sure he didn’t die, and nothing he says will make me regret that.”
Harley snorted. “Well, now we’re doing the same for you.”
Tony glared at him. “I do not need my children to keep me alive.” Harley’s eyes lit up, and Tony knew he’d just Fucked Up Real Bad somehow.
“Yessssss, FRIDAY, tell me you recorded that!” he crowed.
“I’ve told you before, little Boss, everything you do in the suit gets recorded,” FRIDAY responded from Harley’s suit, her voice slightly exasperated. Harley grinned.
“Awesome! Send it to Nebula with the title Prodigal Son Kicked Your Ass.”
“What the fuck is happening,” Tony said flatly, and Harley beamed at him.
“You just won me a bet! Nebula said you didn’t think of us as your children and I said you did, so she bet that I couldn’t get you to admit it. You just called us your children, so I win!”
And then he proceeded to do some wiggling moves that Tony assumed was supposed to be a victory dance in midair. Tony stared at him, resigned.
“I raised a bunch of fucking idiot demon children,” he muttered to himself.
“It would seem so, Boss,” FRIDAY agreed cheekily, and Tony let out what he assumed was the world’s longest sigh – which was a phrase he could never say in front of Peter or Harley, as he’d discovered to his eternal chagrin, as they would immediately pull up some YouTube video called ‘the world’s longest hell yeah.’ At this point, Tony was just resigned to being the unwilling audience for his children’s shenanigans.
“Right, well, I’m going to get back to the relief efforts. You just keep doing...whatever it is you’re doing,” he said wearily to Harley, who was continuing to wriggle around. The kid saluted, then turned and repulsored away. Tony watched him go, then shook his head, returning to his work.
A couple of hours later, he was back in the Compound, plunked down in a chair in the kitchen downing water like his life depended on it.
“Busy day?” Steve asked, walking in, covered in a light sheen of sweat that unfairly just made him look like he was glistening rather than like a drowned cat, which was what Tony looked like while sweaty.
Steve had been looking unfairly attractive a lot, lately, which might just be how Steve had always looked, only Tony had just really started to notice. But it wasn’t enough that the man had to be hot enough to melt ice cream in -12 degree weather, he also had to have the complete, unmitigated gall to be sympathetic and sweet and funny and amazingly sarcastic all at the same goddamn time. They’d been spending a lot of time together over the past two years, helping with reconstruction efforts and just generally living in the same building, and the tentative friendship that they’d crafted before it had fallen to shit had reformed and then become full-fledged, with Steve spending enough time doodling in his lab that Tony had made him a special “art” spot – purely for safety reasons, of course.
And over the past couple of months or so, that friendship had become something…a little more, at least on Tony’s part, though he didn’t think he was imagining Steve returning his heated glances or staring at him a little too long when he was dressed up (or down, apparently Steve wasn’t picky) or dropping particularly flirty lines. He hoped he wasn’t imagining it at least, though he’d been out of the game so long with…with Pepper that he couldn’t be entirely certain.
“Yup, been helping clear up one of the fallen buildings on third street. You?” Tony answered, picking up the conversation after a slightly-too-long pause and keeping his tone carefully casual - and definitely not ogling Steve in his practically plastered-on white tank. Unfair, he would like to reiterate.
Steve nodded. “A couple of kids decided it would be fun to explore one of the abandoned buildings that got hit but hadn’t completely fallen.” Tony groaned, already guessing where the story was going, and Steve smiled grimly. “Yeah, it started coming down pretty fast once they stepped inside. The fire department was on site first, and they issued a call. I was nearby and happened to hear it, so that’s where I ended up all afternoon.”
“When will they learn?” Tony grumbled, tapping his fingers on the table. “Are they okay?”
“Yeah, they’re fine, we got ‘em out before the whole place came crashing down.”
“That’s good, at least. God, people do some dumb shit.”
“You’re telling me. I used to tell Bucky he took all the stupid with him, but I’m not so sure about that anymore.” Steve crossed the room, coming to sit by Tony at the kitchen table, the familiar weighty feeling settling over them as it always did with any of the survivors when one of the dusted was mentioned. Steve looked down at the table, expression unreadable. “Do you ever wonder if we’re still doing enough good? If we’re still heroes?”
Tony blinked, surprised at the non-sequitur. “What’s brought this on?” he asked.
Steve shrugged. “I don’t know, it’s just...sometimes I feel like we lost the right to be heroes when we didn’t stop Thanos, and we haven’t been able to get it back.”
Tony’s brow furrowed as he tried to decide how to answer that. “I think losing a battle doesn’t mean you aren’t a hero, it just means you’re fallible. I think you only stop being a hero when you stop trying to help people,” he said finally. “And…I dunno, maybe this isn’t the right attitude, but I just don’t really care if people consider me a hero anymore. It just…it just doesn’t seem to matter, not after all we’ve lost. If I can do something to help, well…at the end of the day, who cares whether the ones I’m helping think I’m hot shit, ya know?”
Steve appeared contemplative. “It’s not so much that I care if other people think I’m a hero, I guess…it’s more just – I don’t know if I can think of myself as one.”
Tony grinned wryly. “Welcome to the world of the rest of us flawed individuals, Cap. If it helps, I’m pretty sure you’re the best of us.”
“That’s not true,” Steve argued, though his voice held no heat. He looked at Tony earnestly. “When you got picked up by that spaceship, I said Earth had just lost her best defender, and I meant it, Tony.” Tony blinked, shocked into speechlessness. That – that was news to him. The original Steve had never told him that; he wondered if that Steve had said the same thing, or if this was unique to this world’s Steve. But Steve wasn’t done, either, continuing in the same sincere, impassioned tone, “You’ve always been the best of us. You fought for everyone even when they hated you, you fought with us even when we ignored you about the aliens and dismissed you after Ultron. You’re – you’ve always been so pure, never letting anything stop you from protecting everyone, even the people you’re trying to protect.”
And all Tony could do was stare, the words ringing in the air around them as Steve’s blazing eyes bored into his as though he could drill those words into Tony’s head. The air felt strangely charged around them, their locked gazes oddly paralyzing and hypnotizing in equal measures, and Tony’s mouth felt dry though he knew he’d just been gulping down bottles of water not minutes before.
Automatically, Tony licked his lips, and watched with nothing short of amazement as Steve’s eyes followed the movement before darting back up to his. Tony’s heart thudded erratically in his chest, and he felt as though there was an invisible string between him and Steve slowly and insistently tugging them closer together.
“Steve,” Tony rasped when their faces were just inches apart, and Steve’s lips quirked into the barest hint of a smile, leaning forward and closing the distance –
BANG!
The noise sent the two of them flying apart and to their feet, Tony activating his watch-repulsor and Steve entering a fighting stance aimed in the general direction of the noise.
“DAD TELL NEBULA YOU CONSIDER HER ONE OF YOUR CHILDREN,” Harley screeched as he, Nebula, Peter, and Morgan burst through the kitchen door, the door having slammed into the wall behind them.
Tony lowered his repulsor, clutching his chest. “Jesus, kid, you almost gave me a heart attack! I have a heart condition, you know,” he scolded, heart still racing – though that may not have entirely been from the children’s surprise entrance. Whatever, they didn’t need to know that.
Harley and Peter were at the front of the pack, beaming at him and not even looking slightly chagrined. Nebula was standing with her arms crossed slightly behind them, glaring at the back of their heads. Morgan was standing slightly behind Nebula, brown eyes eyeing Tony a little more…contemplatively.
“Sorry, sorry,” Harley said, waving a hand and not looking particularly sorry at all. “But you gotta tell Neb you consider her one of your kids!”
“Call me Neb again, dipshit,” Nebula hissed.
“Okay, who’s been letting Nebula look up insults on the Internet again?” Tony asked exasperatedly, shooting Steve a long-suffering look. Steve’s lips quirked up in a smile in return.
“Daaaad, come on, you have to tell her,” Harley whined.
“Please, Dad?” Peter piped up, and Tony sighed again. These children would be the death of him. He glanced at Nebula – and very carefully hid his surprise. Nebula was standing with her arms folded, very pointedly not looking at him but instead glaring at the boys, her expression the rigidly emotionless mask that meant that his answer meant something to her.
Well, fuck. That meant he had to handle this delicately, and, if there was one thing no version of Tony Stark would ever be, it was delicate. Thinking through Harley’s words, he tried to parse out why this particular subject would be so meaningful to Nebula – then realized the only real father figure she’d ever had was Thanos, and with that, could you really blame a girl for hoping to have someone else claim you as theirs?
Ugh. So. He was going to have to do Emotions, which he despised. Best to do it with a sense of humor? He wasn’t getting through this otherwise. Plus, he didn’t think Nebula would appreciate a gushy, touchy-feely monologue about how he considered her his own anyway.
“Of course I think of Nebula as one of my kids!” Tony said, voice perfectly affronted, as though any other idea would be ludicrous. “I adopted her on the Milano two years ago, and, as I told Petey back then, once I’ve claimed you as my own, I don’t let go. She’s my kid, and that’s that.” He crossed his arms, cocking an eyebrow and making sure he looked perfectly confident and self-assured.
“HA! See, I told you, Neb!” Harley crowed, and he and Peter high-fived. But Tony was watching Nebula’s face, though he tried not to be obvious about it. Her eyes had darted to him for the barest hint of a moment after his proclamation, showing the slightest sliver of vulnerability before they’d darted away again quickly and she’d scowled.
“Whatever. Not like it matters,” she growled out, then stomped off. Harley and Peter frowned after her.
“You’d think she’d be more excited,” Peter muttered.
“Eh, just a sore loser, probably,” Harley shrugged, grinning impishly.
“You two are dumb,” Morgan declared, folding her arms and rolling her eyes and looking every inch like Tony’s daughter. “She was really, really happy, she just shows it differently than you two idiots.”
“No name-calling, squirt,” Tony reprimanded automatically, but he smiled. “But your sis is right, guys. Clearly I have a lot to teach you about women.” He winked, and the two boys groaned.
“Pretty sure Nebula’s a special case there, Mr. Ladies’ Man,” Steve warned, barely suppressed laughter in his voice, and Tony shrugged exaggeratedly.
“Aren’t they all?” Steve just rolled his eyes, and Harley and Peter fake retched before dashing off.
Tony grinned at Steve, who smiled back at him. “You handled that really well,” Steve said softly, and Tony felt something warm flutter through him.
“Thanks,” he managed to respond, then dragged his eyes away from Steve when he remembered his daughter was still in the room. He turned to offer her a smile, freezing at the sight of the measuring look on her face as she glanced back and forth between them. She didn’t say a word, though – simply smiled, nodded to herself, and followed after her brothers.
Tony’s undisputed favorite part of evenings was getting to tuck his precious daughter in to bed; however, sometimes it was really narrowly undisputed, especially when said daughter decided she really wasn’t excited about it being bedtime.
“Tell me another, please, Dad,” Morgan pleaded, brown eyes wide and open, and Tony bit back a sigh.
“Sweetheart, it’s getting late, you need to get some sleep so you don’t end up like your old man, all wrinkly and gross,” he responded, running a hand through her hair tenderly. She giggled.
“You’re not gross, Dad!”
Tony gave an affronted gasp. “I notice you didn’t say anything about me not being wrinkly,” he accused, bopping her on the nose, and she scrunched up her nose cutely in response.
“Everyone suspects themselves of at least one of the cardinal virtues, and this is mine; I am one of the few honest people that I have ever known,” Morgan responded smartly, and Tony let his mouth drop open exaggeratedly.
“Insulting me and quoting classical literature? You’re breaking your old man’s heart, bambino! Next thing you know, you’re going to be heading off to Brown and telling me you want to be an English major,” Tony lamented dramatically, and Morgan giggled again.
“There have to be some people around here who can read,” she teased him.
“What’s up, I’m Jared, I’m 19, and I never fucking learned how to read,” Peter’s voice cried over from overhead, and Tony startled.
“Jesus,” he bit out as Morgan laughed at him. “FRIDAY, what the hell?”
“Sorry, Boss, Peter asked me to play some of his voice recordings if I ever saw a situation that demanded it,” FRIDAY said apologetically.
“You could tell him no?”
“…he had the excited-face on,” she responded, half-indignantly, half-sheepishly. Tony rolled his eyes hard but had to concede that Peter was incredibly hard to resist when he got that whole puppy-dog-energy excitement thing going.
He still grumbled to himself, though, as Morgan continued to giggle at him. He narrowed his eyes at her. “Alright, princess, it’s time to go to sleep,” he said firmly, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. She let out a whine of annoyance, but settled into the mattress, squirming as he tucked her in. Satisfied with his tucking-in skills, he stood and headed for the doorway.
“Dad,” Morgan called out, and he half-turned. Her face was open, curious, trusting. “Do you still miss Mom?”
And Tony felt like she’d yanked the rug out from under him. “Every day, sweetheart,” he responded, his voice a little hoarse. She nodded seriously, looking at him contemplatively.
“Mom would want you to be happy, though,” she told him, and Tony cocked his head, confused and more than a little caught off guard.
“I’m happy, princess. I’ve got you and your brothers and sister, Uncle Rhodey, Aunt Carol, and the rest of the Avengers – I’m very happy. What makes you think otherwise?”
Morgan paused, considering him. “I don’t think you’re not happy, I just think you could be happier. I think Steve would make you happier.”
Tony couldn’t have stopped his mouth from dropping if he’d tried. “Oh, Morgan, honey – I’m not – that’s not – “ Flustered, he had no idea where he was going with that sentence, but Morgan didn’t seem to be listening much anyway.
“You look at him like you looked at Mom, and he looks at you the same way,” she said matter-of-factly. “And Mom would want you to be happy. So you should be happy, Dad.”
He just stood there, mouth opening and closing like a fish before he finally managed to gather himself enough to give his daughter a hard look. Her face was utterly serious, completely and utterly confident in her words. Tony was struck, not for the first time and certainly not for the last, by just how amazing his daughter was, giving him her and her mother’s blessing just like that.
“You’re too smart for you own good sometimes, munchkin,” he said finally, shaking his head ruefully. “I love you tons.”
Morgan smiled serenely at him as he flicked off the lights in her room. “I love you 3000.”
”You shouldn’t have come here.”
Tony didn’t turn around, heedless of T’Challa’s rebuke. Distantly, he heard the king approach and kneel beside him.
“Why are you here, Mr. Stark?”
And Tony still didn’t answer, hand resting in the soft grass, eyes roaming over the area as though he could see what had happened here if he just stared long enough.
“Mr. Stark, what – “
“I should’ve been here.” His voice was a weak rasp, but he didn’t care. T’Challa stilled beside him.
“Mr. Stark?”
“I should’ve been here, he shouldn’t have been alone when – “ Tony choked off, unable to finish, still staring at the ground, the place where Steve had made his last stand, the place where the love of his life had been cut down.
“He wasn’t alone, Mr. Stark,” T’Challa said gently, resting a comforting hand on Tony’s shoulder. “We were here with him.”
Tony turned agonized eyes on him. “Don’t you understand? He was always alone on a battlefield. He tried to carry the whole battle on his shoulders, tried to see everything, anticipate everything, direct everyone. He tried to do it all alone so other people could focus on their own individual fights and not get killed. He died alone, and I shouldn’t have let him. I should’ve – “
And then Tony couldn’t hold back the sobs anymore, and T’Challa pulled him to his chest, patting his back as the grieving widower cried himself out.
A few weeks after his and Morgan’s little talk, and he still hadn’t broached the subject with Cap – though his dreams had very pointedly taken a turn to focus on that particular person of interest. But still, he hesitated, because for one thing, was he even sure Steve was interested in him? It was entirely possible he was reading into things, projecting his own wants and desires onto someone who was conveniently close by and happened to also be an all-around amazing guy. For another, he wasn’t even sure how to bring it up. ‘Hey, Cap, so I’ve spent the last two years grieving for my wife, and my daughter told me I have her blessing to get back in the dating game, wanna go out sometime?’
Yeah, he could see that going over real well.
He was mulling it over for the umpteenth time over a late-night snack when Natasha burst into the kitchen. “Briefing room, now,” she said shortly, body taut and eyes wild. Without a word, Tony stood, following her out of the kitchen. Natasha almost never looked anything less than perfectly put together; for him to be able to see her distress, something terrible must have happened.
Stepping into the briefing room confirmed his suspicion; everyone was there, either physically or via uplink. Natasha had found her way to the center of the room, their unofficial organizer and she’d been in his previous world. Thor and Bruce were huddled in one corner muttering quietly to each other and exchanging worried looks. On the screens were Ayo, Wong, Carol, Rocket, and a couple of people he didn’t recognize. Nebula was glaring stoically at the screens, standing apart from everyone, and Tony approached to stand by her.
“Any idea what this is about?” he asked.
“No, but I’m sure it’s not going to be good news,” she responded, her tone clipped and eyes angry. Tony snorted.
“When is it ever?” he muttered, mostly to himself.
Natasha turned slightly when Steve and Rhodey rushed into the room, glancing around before coming to stand by Tony. She nodded at them, turning back to face the screens. “Alright, everyone’s here, Captain. Tell them what you told me.”
Carol, her face drawn and serious, nodded once. “Earlier today, I was assisting one of the planets that was hit especially hard by the snap, with a lot of their infrastructure getting damaged. This planet was a known haven for a couple of Thanos’s…children and, as such, there were rumors that some of his army took up residence there after the snap. While there, I overheard a conversation. Some of the locals were discussing what seemed to be a mass exodus of all of the beings they’d suspected of being supporters of Thanos. This sounded odd, so I reached out to my contacts on a few other plants, who all said the same thing. A few of them issued the same warning: Thanos is on the move.”
Silence greeted this statement, the words sinking in for everyone present.
“Has that been confirmed to be more than a rumor?” Ayo asked finally. Carol nodded.
“I sent some of my scouts out to locations we know were frequented by Thanos and his followers, and they reported that it looked like his armies were regrouping,” she said solemnly.
“Do we have any idea what he’s after?” Steve asked, and Carol’s expression was all the answer they needed to that question.
But she responded anyway. “None.” Tony, for his part, was baffled; they hadn’t interfered with the past, they hadn’t made any moves that might be construed as trying to fix what Thanos had done – so what was he up to? Maybe another planet had started doing what they’d originally attempted, and Thanos was after them?
“Where’s he headed?” he asked, and Carol glanced sharply at him.
“We aren’t sure. He’s gathering his forces right now, but his army hasn’t mobilized in any specific direction – they’re just sitting dead in the air, waiting. We think he’s trying to gather as many of his troops as possible, then he’ll transport them using the Space stone.”
“Makes sense,” Tony muttered, disappointed.
“My father would not be gathering his army unless he felt there was a threat to the order he believes he’s created,” Nebula said, her voice dark.
“What would that be, though? I ain’t heard any news of anyone stirrin’ up trouble out here,” Rocket said skeptically.
“I haven’t either, and all of my contacts have said their worlds and all the worlds they know of are still just trying to put their lives back together. No one has done anything that would draw Thanos’s attention that any of my contacts know,” Carol said, and Tony frowned. What the hell could Thanos be up to?
“So we have no idea where he’s going, no idea what he’s after, and no good way to stop him,” Rocket summed up, folding his arms and looking more pissed off than usual. “Great, I’m lovin’ our chances here.”
“Try not to be such a beacon of sunshine and optimism, Rocket,” Natasha said drily, leaning onto her palms over the table, braid falling forward. “You brought this information to us, Captain – I’m assuming you have a plan?”
Carol cocked an eyebrow. “When do I ever not?”
“That’s my girl,” Rhodey muttered proudly under his breath, though, if the wink Carol aimed his way was any indication, he didn’t say it all that quietly.
But she didn’t comment, choosing instead to continue, “I think we should send a team of scouts to see what we can find out. I’d go on my own but, well, I don’t think it’s the wisest decision to get anywhere near the gauntlet without backup. We should bring at least two, possibly three ships in case one gets compromised so the others can still report back. The mission would be information retrieval only – locating the ships, approximating the size of his army, and, if possible, infiltrating one of the ships to get data from their mainframe to see if we can find their plan.”
Natasha nodded. “Sounds reasonable. What do you need?”
“I’m currently with a group of Skrull who have agreed to contribute a ship and will accompany me. We have with us a technician who could feasibly hack into a database on board, as well as four who have fought in battles before. I think one to two more ships with a hacker and a handful of fighters on board would be ideal.”
“Noted. Volunteers?” Natasha requested.
Unsurprisingly, Thor and Steve were two of the first two throw their hats in, followed quickly by Rhodey and Nebula.
“The Sanctum can contribute to your fighters,” Wong said, and Natasha nodded.
“The Dora Milaje would also be honored to join,” Ayo said, chin tilted up proudly.
“That should cover enough fighters for two ships, then,” Natasha said. “I can be the hacker on one ship. Do we have one more?”
From his periphery, Tony could see Steve turn towards him expectantly, and he gritted his teeth, keeping his eyes trained very carefully forward. Natasha, bless her, seemed to know better than to look to him, because her eyes were trained on Rocket.
After a pause, Rocket huffed, rolling his eyes. “All right, all right, I can be your other hacker,” he grumbled. “I ain’t meetin’ you on Earth, though, you’re gonna have’ta come to me.”
“Fair enough,” Natasha responded, hiding a smile. She turned her attention back to Carol. “What’s our timeline?”
“We can be ready in three days. We’ll send you the coordinates for where to meet.”
“Good. If that’s all?” There were hums of agreement, and Natasha nodded. “Alright, then. Stay safe, everyone.” And with that, she shut off the holograms. The group dispersed rather quickly, and Tony took advantage of Natasha approaching Steve, likely to talk strategy, to slip past the super soldier and escape from the briefing room.
“What the hell was that?”
Well, it looked like his hideout had been found. Of course, considering said hideout was his bedroom and he was currently sitting on his bed reading, he’d expected it would be.
“What the hell was what?” Tony asked flippantly, feigning ignorance, and Steve’s face was stormy as he marched further into the room.
“What, you’re just done trying to help people now? You’ve decided you don’t want to risk your neck anymore and want to just let the rest of us take the hits?” he demanded, standing at the foot of the bed, arms folded. Tony closed his book and set it down on the nightstand, removing his reading glasses.
“Well, you know, I’m a little tired of this whole superhero thing. I think I’ve earned a little bit of time relaxing by the poolside, sipping frozen daiquiris and working on my tan,” he said in the same cheerful, untroubled voice, though there was an undercurrent of warning to it now that anyone who knew him well would hear. And Steve? Steve knew him well, but he was never one to heed warnings.
“Are you incapable of being serious for one damn moment? You’re really just going to sit here on your ass and let the rest of us do the work? You know you’re the best with technology out of all of us. Rocket may be a good pick for this mission because he has more experience with alien tech, but you outstrip Natasha by miles. And you’re just not gonna go? You’re just gonna let us risk failing our mission because, what, you’re just not feeling it?” Steve spat, face getting progressively redder, and Tony’s eyes darkened, his face slipping into an emotionless mask.
“Yeah, that sounds just like me, doesn’t it, Cap?” he said, voice dangerous as he pushed himself off the bed, standing. “Lazy, arrogant, not much of a worker, right? Nothing more than a spoiled billionaire who lets everyone else do all the work for him – that’s who I am, isn’t it?”
And Steve still looked angry, but the first vestiges of regret were starting to slip into his expression. But Tony wasn’t finished, and he stepped steadily closer to the blond.
“What was it you said all those years ago? Oh yeah, that I’m not the one to make the sacrifice play. That I better stop pretending to be a hero. Because I’m not one, is that right, Cap? I’m just here to step over everyone else who’s laying on the line.” And by the end of his spiel, they were standing almost nose-to-nose, Tony’s flinty brown eyes glaring up into Steve’s stormy blue ones.
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it,” Steve growled out, and Tony let out a derisive laugh.
“Oh I do, do I?” he mocked. “Well, I’m a little slow, so why don’t you spell it out for me, Cap? What did you mean?”
“I just meant that we need you, and you’re abandoning us! You never used to back down from a fight, Tony,” Steve said, and his voice was so full of the trademark Captain America disappointment that Tony felt his temper slip away from him.
“Yeah, well I didn’t used to have a daughter with no mother and two sons who already lost their other families because we weren’t good enough to save them,” Tony hissed, and Steve drew back, eyes widening in sudden understanding. “So tell me, Steve - if I go on this little expedition and die, are you going to come back and tell my kids that they don’t have any parents anymore because I wanted to play hero on a mission that I wasn’t even sure would keep them safe? Because make no mistake - I will die for my children, and for the rest of you, if it comes down to it, but I will not fly into a fight that I’m not sure will actually keep you all safe.”
“Tony - “ Steve said, eyes wide and appearing stricken. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think - “
“No, that’s right, you didn’t think, because you don’t have any kids,” Tony snapped, and Steve recoiled as though he’d been slapped. And Tony knew he’d said something particularly nasty, but he was too deep in his anger to care. “You just made assumptions about me and my character like you always have. God, I don’t know why I ever thought you could change. I’ll always be the fucking lazy, entitled, billionaire asshole in your eyes, Mr. Perfect.”
Chest heaving, arms crossed, Tony glared at Steve, daring him to argue - because he could do this all fucking day. Steve just looked at him, anger and hurt swirling in his eyes, then turned on his heel and stalked out of the room - or tried to, rather. Because when Steve tugged on the door, it didn’t budge.
“Wha - “ Steve muttered, the slightest hint of confusion bleeding into the anger.
“Sorry, Boss, Mr. Rogers, Harley and Peter have instigated the ‘Mom and Dad are Fighting’ protocol,” FRIDAY said, though she didn’t sound particularly apologetic.
“FRIDAY,” Tony snarled. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means you’re stuck in there until you work out your issues,” Harley called cheerfully, his voice muffled by the door.
Tony went through a few different emotions that he was very proud of himself for not immediately expressing, taking a deep, calming breath, before saying, “If you don’t let us out of here right fucking now I swear to God - “
“What? What’ll you do, Pops?” Harley taunted cheekily, and Tony pinched his nose, forcing himself to count backwards from ten.
Peter piped up, his voice earnest. “It’s for your own good! You two get in the worst arguments and then don’t speak to each other forever, and you’re both grumpy the whole time! We just want you to be able to work it out without - “
“Without us having to put up with weeks of you assholes being dickish and mopey,” Harley finishes cheerfully. Tony was seriously reconsidering his decision not to go on this mission; it might save him from two murder charges.
“We’re gonna go to bed, but FRIDAY will unlock the door when you’ve worked out your differences!” Peter called.
“And we don’t mean the kind of work it out where you guys act like you’re cool but are secretly pissed. You have to actually make up for FRIDAY to let you out,” Harley warned. “Good niiiiiiight!”
And then Tony heard their footsteps retreat.
“FRIDAY,” he started, eyes narrowed to slits.
“Before you start, Boss, I agree with the little Bosses on this. It’ll be better for your health and theirs if you work out your differences,” FRIDAY said in her no-nonsense tone, and Tony knew he and Steve really weren’t getting out of here until they’d fixed things.
“Great, just great. What the fuck was the point of making an Artificial Intelligence if she doesn’t even listen to me,” Tony growled, folding his arms and glaring at one the cameras. It was then that he realized the other person this affected was being conspicuously quiet. He turned to glare at Steve, who was staring at the door like he was debating how hard he had to kick it before it would come down. “You gonna say anything, Cap?” he demanded, and Steve turned to meet his eyes.
“I don’t see how I can without just upsetting you more,” Steve said stiffly, not moving away from the door.
“Well, if we don’t say something, you’ll miss out on your super important mission in three days,” Tony said sarcastically. “And we can’t have that, not when you’ve made it abundantly clear it’s so important to you.”
“See,” Steve cried, gesturing wildly, abandoning his door-surveillance and moving further into the room. “That’s exactly what I mean. I can’t say anything, not even that I can’t say anything, without pissing you off! I don’t know what you want from me!”
“I want you to give me some fucking credit and trust that I have reasons for the things I do that you don’t necessarily agree with, Steve!” Tony yelled, taking a few steps closer to Steve before he even realized it.
“I do trust you!” Steve yelled back, stalking closer to Tony.
“Well you have a fucking funny way of showing it!”
“I’m sorry!”
And suddenly they were nose-to-nose again, both of them breathing heavily, anger written into the lines of their faces.
Caught off guard by the apology, Tony blinked. “What?”
Steve took a deep breath, regret etching in as the anger drained away. “I’m sorry, okay?” he said, his voice quieter. “I just - you confuse the hell out of me, you always have. You’re just - you’re so unpredictable, it’s maddening. You put on this mask of callousness and indifference but you care more than anyone I’ve ever met. You act like you’re not a hero but you’re the first one to put your life on the line. I feel like I can never catch my breath with you, and it drives me absolutely crazy and I love it.” He stopped, breathing raggedly and staring down at Tony with an expression Tony couldn’t quite place - he was sure he was imagining the longing and desire written in with the frustration. Steve let out an aggravated huff. “Tony, I - oh, fuck it.”
And then Steve was leaning in and his lips were on Tony’s, and Tony absolutely could not be held responsible for the squeak he let out in response, shock coursing through him. He paused only for a moment before his hands tentatively reached up, winding around Steve’s neck, and Steve’s arms wrapped around his waist in response, tugging him closer and pressing his body flush against Steve’s own as he deepened the kiss. Steve kissed like it was the last thing he would ever do and he was determined to make it his best, lips soft but demanding against Tony’s as one hand came up to cup Tony’s face, pressing them ever harder together, lips moving together insistently in a frenzied rhythm.
When Steve finally pulled back, they were both breathing hard for different reasons. Steve looked at him expectantly – expecting what, Tony couldn’t say, dazed as he was. “You said fuck,” Tony said dumbly, and a small smile quirked at Steve’s lips.
“Not exactly the response I was hoping for, but at least you’re not slapping me,” Steve said, eyes dancing with the echo of humor. Tony let out a muffled noise of dismay, trying to sort out his intensely-scrambled thoughts.
“I’m sorry, too,” he finally blurted, and Steve just looked at him. Tony fidgeted under his gaze, the memory of his earlier words coming back to haunt him accompanied by a feeling of shame. “I shouldn’t have said what I did, and I’m sorry. I – I lashed out, and it wasn’t fair of me. I’ve just, you’re one of the few people whose opinion of me actually matters to me, and I just, I hate when it feels like you think so little of me, and I got overly defensive. I’m sorry.”
Steve smiled, hand coming up to cradle Tony’s cheek, and Tony leaned into it. Steve used that hand to tilt Tony’s chin up, and this time the kiss was soft and slow, sweet in a way Tony had come to associate intimately with Steve Rogers.
“This is okay?” Steve murmured when he drew back, just a hairs-breadth away, eyes searching Tony’s.
Tony laughed, the sound breathier than he’d have liked. “Cap, this is one of the okay-est things that’s ever happened to me.”
Steve smiled, eyes lighting up, bright and delighted. “Good,” he said simply, and then he dived back down.
”It’s been a while.”
The strange golden mist that always signified this type of dream cleared slowly to reveal Natasha silhouetted against the kaleidoscope sky, standing at the edge of the cliff between the two stone pillars, staring out over the land. She turned and smiled at him, the same sad but fond smile he’d grown more and more used to seeing. “So it has,” she agreed, her voice quiet, and Tony could tell something was different.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, senses immediately on alert, scanning the area. Natasha only shook her head at him, eyes forlorn and looking at him as though she was looking at a dead man. It was more than a little creepy, and Tony had to squash down the urge to back away, forcing himself instead to step forward until he was standing next to her at the cliff’s edge.
“Nothing you can combat here, Tony.” She turned away to look back over the landscape again, her profile cutting against the vivid colors of the sky. He turned to follow her gaze, looking out at the sharp rocks below, the rushing, gushing water only a few hundred feet beyond that, the half-dead forest that seemed to never change stretching as far as his eyes could see.
His mind sharpened, picking up on the unspoken words in her reassurance and looking hard at her. “But it is something I’ll have to combat, then?”
She nodded, her eyes soft and sorrowful as she turned to meet his eyes again. “I am sorry, Tony. I would spare you this if I could – but I will tell you what I told you before: this is what you chose, and that choice will bring a lot of good to the universe. I only wish we could prevent your pain.”
Tony stared at her, baffled. “Natasha, what does that mean? What did I choose? Who’s the ‘we’ you’re talking about?”
But the golden mist was descending and Natasha was obscured from his sight before she could answer.
“FRIDAY, why is the door still closed? Did they not work it out?”
Peter’s dismayed voice tugged Tony from his sleep.
“No, little Boss, Boss and Captain Rogers worked out their differences.”
“Oh good, I want to talk to Tony,” Harley’s voice declared.
“Wait, you may want to – “ FRIDAY was frantically saying, and then the sound of the door banging open pulled Tony completely out of sleep. He sat up rapidly, glaring at the intruders blearily.
“What the fuck?” he grumbled out, his voice still laden with sleep. When his eyes finally focused, it was to the sight of two wide-eyed teenagers who’d come to a halt in the doorway, identical expression of horror and mortification on their faces. Harley slapped a hand over Peter’s eyes, then squeezed his own shut tight.
“That was so much more information than I ever needed, oh my God,” he screeched, reaching for Peter’s hand with his free one. “C’mon, Pete, let’s go bleach our eyes.”
“Seconded,” Peter agreed, voice high-pitched. The duo exited the room, slamming the door shut after them.
“I guess they got your dramatic gene,” Steve said, grinning up at him, and Tony flopped back down onto the bed with a groan, letting Steve slip an arm around his shoulders and tug him closer.
“You’d think they didn’t know people fucked anymore,” he grumbled, rolling so that he was tucked into Steve’s side, cheek resting on his shoulder. Steve pressed a kiss to his forehead, smiling indulgently.
“Well, maybe they weren’t ready for so much…evidence,” he said, a tinge of mischief in his voice, and Tony narrowed his eyes at him before glancing down.
“Ohmygod, it looks like you mauled me,” he said in horror, looking at the black-and-blue bruises that littered his torso. He glanced at Steve, eyes narrowing further. “And you don’t even have a mark! Ugh, your super soldier healing bullshit sucks.”
“I think it’s pretty handy, actually,” Steve said smugly, eyes twinkling down at Tony, and Tony pouted at him.
“Not fair, I’m gonna get stared at all day and everyone’s gonna be asking me questions while you get off scot free,” he whined, and Steve snickered.
“Please, you know I’ll be getting the shovel talk from Rhodes. And probably Peter and Harley, once they get over their squeamishness at seeing their dad so thoroughly ravished,” he said, his voice colored with self-satisfaction at the end. Tony snorted at the mental image of Peter and Harley threatening Steve.
“FRIDAY, make sure you record that, okay?” he asked, a smirk clear in his voice.
“Sure thing, Boss.”
The morning was surprisingly wonderful, with Tony and Steve working around each other as they showered and got dressed, having decided that a shared shower right now would probably result in a lot of “wasted” time, and Steve needed to check in with Natasha on preparations for the mission. But even without the amazing shower sex that Tony insisted they had to have in the very near future, it was such a peaceful, perfect, domestic morning – that of course everything was going to come crashing down around them.
A knock sounded on the door. “Tony,” Natasha’s voice called, and both Steve and Tony snapped to alert, knowing that tone: something was really, horribly wrong. “Tony, are you in there?”
Tugging his shirt over his head, Tony crossed the room in two long strides, Steve hot on his heels as he pulled open the door. Natasha, for her part, didn’t even blink at the sight of the two of them together. Her eyes lasered in on Tony. “There’s something you need to see,” she said tersely, turning and walking away. Tony and Steve exchanged a glance and followed quickly.
When they made it to the living room, Tony was surprised to see the other Avengers already gathered, various expressions of horror, dismay, and fear spread around the room as they stood, staring at the TV. Tony, Steve, and Natasha fell into line, and Tony got his first glimpse of what they were all looking at.
It was chaos – complete and utter chaos. The streets of Manhattan – why was it always Manhattan? – were littered with upturned cars and broken buildings. Of course, that was a sight they were familiar with after the snap – but these were fresh, as evidenced by the screaming civilians running through the streets, some pinned under rubble or cars, others trying to avoid the weapons wielded by the perpetrators.
The Chitauri. Tony would recognize them anywhere. They were back, and if they were back, that could only mean –
Thanos appeared on the screen, the camera having panned to where he was reclining on a chair that looked to be built of the buildings and property he’d destroyed. He was barking out orders to his troops, commanding them to search the streets, to turn over every building – and then Tony understood why Natasha had specifically sought him out, and the others in the room turned to stare at him as Thanos’s last demand echoed through the room.
“Bring me Tony Stark.”