Chapter 3
NPOV
It was a rare thing, for her to sleep in.
To rise only after the sun had already covered the world in its rays of light. It was a guilty pleasure of hers and not something she often indulged in. She was so accustomed to being awake before everything and everyone. Years of conditioning will do that to a person she supposed.
Nightmares are a good way to interrupt your sleep as well.
This morning however she had decided to spoil herself. She allowed herself to just lay in bed for as long as she liked. There was no urgent matter to attend to, and she didn’t have to be at work today. All she wanted to do was lounge around her apartment and read a book. Perhaps tidy up a little bit. She wanted to enjoy her day off.
The only thing that she might have to do later is go to the market, she thinks her pantry might be low on a few things.
It was late morning and she had been in bed taking short naps here and there until her stomach began to rumble. With a sigh she sat up and stretched before leaving her bed to make her way over to the kitchen to find herself something to eat.
Natalie’s apartment wasn’t big or fancy, but it was in a nice building and in a good location. Honestly she had been fortunate in acquiring it. The apartment had one bedroom, a full bathroom, a kitchen, a living room, and a small laundry room. The living room was probably her second favorite room in the apartment. It was bright and seemed bigger than it was because of the large windows.
There was one window that had a built in bench seat. It was her favorite spot in the apartment. She adorned it with a few throw pillows and had a blanket arranged there as well. It was large enough and wide enough that she had room to lay down and take naps there if she wished. Often she would sit there with a cup of tea in one hand, a book in the other and read while music played softly in the background. Other times she would just sit and enjoy the view. It wasn’t much of a view exactly, but she could see the Brooklyn Bridge and watch people and cars below.
The kitchen was nice and spacious enough. All the necessary items were there, but hardly ever saw much use. Natalie had many skills, cooking, however was not one of them. Nevertheless, she could, of course, handle making simple dishes, breakfast foods included.
Walking to the stove, she picked up the kettle so she could fill it with water. She knows that most people start their days off with a cup of coffee, but she much preferred a cup of tea. Not just any tea though, there was a special Russian tea blend that was her favorite, though it was hard to come by. There was only one store around her, that she knew of, that sold it.
She had been pleasantly surprised when she’d stumbled upon it when she first moved into the building and decided to explore her surroundings. She was running low on it, so she made a mental note to pick some up later as well.
She placed the water-filled kettle back on the stove then made her way over to the refrigerator to see what she could make.
Wow, she thought upon seeing the contents of her fridge. There were a few containers of leftover foods from diners and delis. She was pretty sure those were trash now. A jar of orange juice, a carton of eggs, a block of cheese, some sweet peppers and milk made up the rest of the contents in the fridge.
I should really think about changing my diet, be healthier, eat out less, maybe eat a few more fruits or vegetables, she mentally considered. A thought for later. Right now her stomach was letting her know that she was hungry. She considering her few options and decided that scrambled eggs and toast would do for now.
Oh, maybe I can have a peanut butter sandwich too!
She pulled out the carton of eggs, peppers, and cheese, closed the refrigerator door and placed the items on the counter. Then she walked over to the pantry to get the bread and peanut butter for her sandwich. She finds the bread but didn’t see any peanut butter. Disappointed she mentally adds peanut butter to her list of things to buy.
Looks like it just the scrambled eggs and toast this morning, she thinks.
Walking back to the counter she quickly gets to work preparing her eggs and cup of tea. Breakfast didn’t take her that long to make and soon she was sitting down enjoying her simple meal. After she’s finished, she puts her dished in the sink and began to wash them, dry them, then put them away. She decided that since she was going to clean today, she may as well start in the kitchen.
She spends the rest of her late morning scrubbing, wiping, dusting and mopping the rest of her apartment. Natalie was not exactly a messy person. She does tend to have a few articles of clothing or shoes thrown about, but her apartment is by no means a dirty place. Sometimes it is what she likes to think of as “chaotically organized.”
Cleaning up is not a favorite pastime of hers. It does give her something to occupy herself with though. After she is done cleaning the kitchen, living room and tidying up the bathroom in the hall, she makes her way to her bedroom.
Although the apartment wasn’t huge, the bedroom, to her utter delight was surprisingly spacious. It was also her favorite room. The walls were painted in a light lilac color that was almost considered grey. There was a large window that allowed the room to be bathed in light. In the center of the room was a queen-sized bed with a white quilt and pillows. A nightstand with a table lamp was placed right next to it. There was a wardrobe, a vanity desk and chair as well. A free standing oval full length mirror was placed in the corner as well.
As far as decorations and knickknacks went, she didn’t have much. Partly due to the way she grew up she supposed. Material things usually meant forming attachments, and under no circumstance was that allowed. Attachments meant weaknesses, and weaknesses could cost you your life.
Walking over to her closet, she put away the random clean clothes that she had found lying around the apartment, in their proper places. Task complete she stood in her bedroom for a few seconds contemplating her next step.
Feeling slightly dirty, and sweaty herself from her morning of cleaning, she decided that taking a nice relaxing bath was in order. After gathering clean undergarments she then picked out a simple yellow dress and headed towards her bathroom.
Once inside she placed her clean clothes on the hooks behind the door and arranged a few clean towels onto the towel rack. After doing that she moved over to the tub to turn the water on, adjusting it until she had it at the temperature she preferred. Plugging the drain, she added some bubbles and oils to the water as well.
Walking over to where the counter was, she opened a cabinet below the sink and found her favorite scented candle and a lighter. Lighting it up, she placed it next to the sink, tied her hair up and stripped out of her clothes. After tossing her clothes into the hamper, she finally settled into the tub.
A small sigh of contentment slipped past her lips as the hot water envelope her body and began to loosen up her tense muscles. The soothing aroma from the candle and bath oils helped relax her further. She needed this. This past week work had been, taxing, to say the least. Well, not so much her work, more like her boss, Mr. Jenkins.
Mr. Jenkins was an attorney at Edwards, Lewis & Mills, the firm Natalie had found work in as a secretary. Daniel Jenkins was a man in his mid-40s. He was lean, had dark brown hair and brown eyes. He was an attractive man, she could admit. He was also married, a father of two, and an incorrigible flirt.
Nine months ago, when Natalie first moved here, she had been lost. Not just figuratively lost, but emotionally and mentally as well. This was supposed to be a fresh start for her. A new beginning. She’d had found herself in a different country, in a new city, and no idea what to do.
For the first time in years she had the freedom to decide for herself what her next move would be. Her time was her own. It had been a long time since she’d had a choice, if ever. It was the first time she had no one to report to. No one to answer to but herself.
It was a little overwhelming.
The first thing she had needed to do was find an apartment. New York was an exciting city, growing quickly too. She had been staying in a hotel while searching for an apartment, but she wasn’t having much luck. Real estate was a hot commodity. She wasn’t looking for anything fancy and she wasn’t really a picky person. She had stayed in places that could hardly be considered luxurious, but that was the old her. She wanted something that she could consider a home. Something she was secretly afraid to long for.
All the places she looked at so far were just not right. She had money with her, that wasn’t an issue. She just, couldn’t commit to anything she had seen so far. Feeling slightly dejected one day she decided to explore a little further out and ended up in Brooklyn.
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She had been walking around different neighborhoods, and in each she noticed the same thing, people interacting with each other. There were children playing together, playing games in parks, on sidewalks, in the streets. Something stirred in her, this was the type of change she had wanted, at least she thought she did. It was so different to anything she had known before.
She wondered why she hadn’t considered looking around this area before.
Natalie was just about to make her way over to a newsstand to buy a newspaper and see if there were any listings of available apartments, when she heard the sound of tires screeching. Looking up she took in the scene before her. There was a dog barking in the middle of the road, and a car was heading straight towards it. She’d guess that the dog had ran out of nowhere and the driver, in order to avoid hitting it, had swerved. However that is not what had her attention.
No, at the moment the car swerved, a little boy was chasing after his runaway ball, right onto the street.
In the path of the out of control car.
Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as she saw the little boy stop and pick up his ball, no regard for the car headed straight towards him.
She jumped into action then, running out onto the road.
Not a moment too soon, she reached the little boy and pulled him to her. Holding him tightly, she quickly maneuvered their bodies away from the uncontrolled car. She felt a short sense of relief when she felt the car rush past them. Though it honestly felt like hours, it couldn’t have been more than a few moments, then time seemed to pick up normally again.
She set him down safely and gave him a quick once over to be sure that he was unhurt. Her attention was diverted again to the car as she heard a loud crash followed by a splash. She turned to see that the car was half on the street and half on the sidewalk. The rampant car had come to a stop, colliding into a fire hydrant that water was now freely shooting up from. She could see several men rush over to the car and help someone out, a man. He was helped out of the car and set down to be looked over. From her vantage point it looked like he was the only person in the car, and apart from a gash on his forehead that seemed to be bleeding, no other injury was visible.
Bringing her attention back to the little boy she once again looked him over to be certain that he was not injured. As far as she could see he was not.
“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” she had found herself asking anyway, concern coating her words. The boy, who couldn’t have been more than 5 years old, had looked at her with big watery blue eyes. Clutching his ball to his chest he shakily whispered a No to her when a they heard a frantic woman shout “Henry!” Natalie looked away from the small boy to see a woman, perhaps her mid-50s, running towards them.
“Henry! Oh my goodness, are you alright?! You just ran off! Why did you run off?! I was so scared! I’ve never been more scared of anything in my life than when I saw that car heading towards you! You are never leaving my side again young man! Wait until your parents hear about this!” the woman shouted in what appeared to be one breath.
Up close Natalie could tell that her first impression was correct. This woman does in fact seem to be in her mid-50s. She had greying brown hair, blue eyes, that at the moment were full of worry and relief all at once. Her face showed signs of aging with a few wrinkles, but she was beautiful.
She must be the boy’s grandmother Natalie thinks.
The woman had pulled the boy into a tight embrace with no chance of letting him go. Or breathe, it seemed. The boy, Henry she had called him, was mumbling about needing to breathe when the woman finally released him.
“I’m sorry Henry,” she cried, “I’m just so happy you’re safe. You are okay right?”
“Yes Grandma,” the boy whispers. “I’m okay. I’m sorry for scaring you, but my ball! I had to get my ball, it’s my favorite! Grandpa gave it to me for Christmas! He would have been so sad if I lost it.”
“He would have been sad if we had lost you,” she whispers. Hugging him to her again she places a loving kiss to his forehead. Watching the loving moment stirred something in Natalie. A long forgotten memory of a woman, with eyes as green as her own, placing forehead kisses on a little girl with red hair, came crashing over her. Shaking her head to rid herself of the image, she was brought back to the present. Feeling like she was intruding, she thought about backing away and leaving, but before she could the older woman spoke, stopping her retreat.
“I don’t know what I would have done had this young lady not saved you.” Her words were clearly directed at Henry, but her eyes caught Natalie’s own. “Truly, I don’t know how to repay you for saving my grandson, but I will. We don’t have much, but whatever you want, it’s yours. Just name it, and if I can’t give it to you, I promise to help you get it. I --- I just… Thank you.” The emotion shining in her watery eyes and sincerity dripping from her every word floored Natalie. It rooted her to her very spot. It felt like minuets had passed before she could finally reply.
“No, ma’am, that is not necessary.”
Before the other woman could protest, they were interrupted by a man who had come up next to them. He was dressed in a uniform identifying him to be a paramedic. Taking a look around they noticed that there was now an ambulance on the scene with other medics attending to the injured man. There was also a police cruiser as well as a fire truck. Some of the police officers and firemen were busy getting the fire hydrant turned off and keeping people back.
“Are you injured?” The paramedic that was now in front of them asked addressing Henry and his Grandmother first. “We were told by witnesses that you were in the path of the car before it crashed.”
“No, from what I can tell we’re are fine,” the older woman began, “this young lady saved my grandson.”
Natalie felt as if she were under a microscope the way all three turned to observe her; the older woman, the paramedic and Henry.
“Miss are you hurt?” the medic now directed his question to her.
“I’m fine,” Natalie immediately replied.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure, the car missed us,” she insisted.
“Okay. I will be right over there,” he points to where the ambulance is stationed, “if you feel like you need anything please let me or any of the other officers know immediately.” Giving Henry and Natasha one last once over, making sure there were absolutely no injuries visible, and seeing none, he walked away.
“I know I’ve already said this but thank you. Thank you. A million times thank you for saving my Henry.” Natalie’s attention was again brought to the woman. She had one arm around the little boy, unshed tears in her eyes, and her other arm was extended out towards Natalie.
Staring at the outstretched hand, Natalie blinked then reached out to take the women’s hand in her own. “Really, no thanks are necessary. I just, reacted. I’m glad he is not hurt." Her gratitude was slightly unnerving, Natalie was not used to it.
“It’s because of you that he is not hurt, so again, thank you,” gingerly she shook their hands, “might we please know the name of our hero?”
Hero?Me? Never, I could never be a hero Natalie thinks to herself.
“I am not a hero,” she assures the older woman, “but my name is Natalie.”
“Natalie, well this little one here is Henry, and I’m Alicia Rushman,” Alicia introduces just as they are interrupted once again, this time by a police officer.
“I hear we have a hero over here,” the officer directs his smile and comment at Natalie.
There is that word again she thinks. Before she can rebuttal the officer turns his attention to Alicia and Henry, “how you doing sport? Feeling okay?” Henry nodded his head in affirmation.
“Well that’s really good to hear son, we’re all glad that you weren’t hurt, I’m sure you gave these lovely ladies here a fright.” Feeling sufficiently chastised, Henry kept his gaze on his toes, while the officer let out a slight cough. He then looks to Natalie and Alicia. “My name is Officer Tanner, mind if a get a couple statements from you all?” Pen and notepad already in hand, he smiles softly at them while waiting for their nods of approval.
Giving their statements didn’t take long. Officer Tanner finished jotting down a few things then thanked them for their cooperation, praised Natalie for her heroism, then parted from them with a final request to Henry to be more careful. Seeing that she was no longer needed for anything, Natalie decided it was time for her to be on her way. She still had things to do, like find an apartment. She turned to walk away when yet again, her departure was postponed. This time, it was the voice of young Henry that stopped her.
“Ex--excuse me, Miss. Natalie,” Henry stuttered, “umm, wo---would you like to come with us? Grandma, she says we are going to get ice cream.” Natalie stared into Henry’s big blue eyes, surprised by the invitation. Not knowing how to respond, she looked to Alicia, who meeting her confused look only smiled in return.
“I told him that we are both in need of some sugar. To combat the fright we’ve had. Me more so than him honestly,” Alicia jokes. “Ice cream seemed like a good idea. Though it’s not a reward for him, which he knows, right Henry?” he nodded in understanding. “When we get home later I fully expect his parents to deal some sort of punishment for running off, after they fret over him first of course. For now though, ice cream. We would really love it if you were to join us for a scoop. There is a parlor not too far from here. I know it’s not much but think of it as a small thank you. Won’t you please join us?”
“Please Miss. Natalie? Please come with us,” Henry begged her. Natalie took in his pleading face and Alicia’s encouraging look and did something she never would have thought she would do. She accepted.
Walking together, they made their way to the ice cream parlor. Alicia had been right, it wasn’t far from where they had been, only two blocks away. While they walked, Alicia made idle conversation. She spoke about her husband Thomas who was a businessman, her son Robert and daughter-in-law Cecily, who were Henry’s parents, and her daughter Leena.
Robert was a real estate agent and Cecily worked at boutique shop. Leena was recently married and moved to Illinois, her husband Gary was a doctor and had been offered a position at hospital there.
Natalie was not one to share details about her life or herself. At all. She was a private person for a reason, but she did give Alicia a few half-truths. She mentioned that she had recently moved to the city, though she didn’t say from where, and that she was apartment hunting, but not having any luck. By the time they walked through the doors of the ice cream parlor, Alicia was trying to get Natalie to allow her to have her son Robert help her in finding an apartment. Natalie thanked Alicia for the offer but gently refused.
The shop was exactly what Natalie thought it would be, wholesome. There were black and white checkered floors, white wood paneled walls, red booths and chairs around white tables. There was cheery music playing from the radio by the register and families enjoying the sweet desserts.
Walking up to the register, Henry immediately ordered a Chocolate ice cream cone, Alicia ordered a Vanilla cone and Natalie a single scoop of the strawberry flavored ice cream. Natalie tried to pay for her own, but Alicia insisted that it would be her treat. Conceding to her wishes, Natalie allowed Alicia to pay.
They gathered their treats and made their way to three unoccupied stools by the front window. As they ate, Alicia asked questions and Natalie answered them with part truths. Natalie was very good at reading people and quickly determining if someone was a threat. Alicia was not, in fact from what she could tell, she was a kind woman. That didn’t mean that she was going to fully trust her and open up.
When Alicia asked her if she moved here with her family, Natalie told her that her parents died when she was very young and was raised by a grandmother who had immigrated to the state when she was five, but that her grandmother had recently passed away too. Which was why she found herself in New York, now Brooklyn, she wanted a change. Alicia had looked sad and nodded her head in understanding.
“A sad thing to lose your family. A young girl like you should not be alone, here, I want you to have this,” Alicia took a pen from her purse and a napkin from the dispenser, “it’s my telephone number. I know we hardly know each other, but if you ever find yourself wanting to talk with someone, or if you ever need anything, please feel free to ring me.”
Deciding to be polite, Natalie took the offered napkin from Alicia and placed it in her own purse. She had no intention of ever using it, but the earnestness on Alicia’s face was too sincere for Natalie to outright reject.
They finished their treats and together they made their way to the exit. Once outside again, they were about to say goodbye and go their separate ways, when Natalie was surprised to feel small arms envelop her waist. Shocked, she looked down to see little Henry hugging her tightly.
“Thank you Miss. Natalie, for saving me. You’re my hero.”
“We will be forever grateful to you for what you did Natalie. Thank you. Remember, if there is anything I can do for you, please don’t hesitate to call. Come along Henry.” With that Alicia and Henry gave her one final smile and walked away.
She stood there and watched them walk away in bewilderment. She was no hero, but that little boy had hugged her, thanked her, and dubbed her as such. There was that voice in her head that vehemently denied it. Reminded her that she was no good. That she was a monster.
Still, beneath that voice was also another. This one was smaller. A softer voice almost completely drowned out by the louder one telling her she wasn’t good enough, it told her that she had done good. That she could be good.
With a shake of her head to rid herself of all these thoughts, she began walking away from the shop. Leaving today’s events behind her. Afterall she still had things to do. Refocusing on her task of finding an apartment was much more important than thinking about the child and kind older woman she had met. Today was just an insignificant distraction. Besides, it’s not like she would ever see them again.
Oh how wrong she’d been.
After leaving the ice cream shop, she had walked around aimlessly for a bit. It was during this walk that she had stumbled upon a moving truck in front of nice looking building. She would have kept walking except she noticed that things were being moved out of, not into the building. Curious, she made her way over to an older man who seemed to be telling the movers to pick up the pace.
“You would think that being as young and agile as these fellas are, they would move a little faster,” noticing Natalie next to him he addressed her.
“They certainly don’t seem to be in the same rush as you,” she smirked, “I’d bet if you really wanted to, you could show them how it’s done.”
The older man laughed at that. “Gone are the days when I can lift heavy things without hurting my back. These days it’s all about delegating Miss.” He tipped his soft hat to her.
“I see. You clearly seem to be in a hurry to leave, are you on a tight schedule?”
“Oh heavens no,” he chuckled, “I’m not the one moving. Nice young couple in the building is. See they are expecting again. Already have one little one running around, with the other on the way, it just made sense for them to find a bigger place. Not much room for two grown adults plus a two year old in their one bedroom. Imagine two adults and two children in that small of a space is not ideal for them,” he shook his head. “I’ll be sad to see them go, they were nice people, good tenants, but it’s what’s best for their family.”
“So, you’re not the one who’s moving? Do you own this building?” she questioned. “Why is it you are out here delegating then?” she was both curious and intrigued.
“I’m just helping them out while Mrs. Price rest a little bit and Mr. Price is chasing around the little one,” he smiled softly. “Like I said, they are nice people, I will be sad to see them go, but they do need a bigger space, and unfortunately, I don’t have any bigger unites available to offer them.”
“It does make perfect sense, you said they are currently in a one bedroom?” Natalie inquired.
“I did,” gracing her with a smirk and mischief twinkling in his eyes the old man gave her his full attention now. “Imagine this, I haven’t even had the time or a chance to place the advertisement in the paper. . .you wouldn’t happen to know anyone who might be looking for a place, would ya?”
“Well, as a matter of fact, I’m in the market for a one bedroom myself,” Natalie fully smirked now.
“Isn’t that something,” he chucked, reaching out to shake her hand he continued, “Edward Kirk, it a pleasure to meet you Miss?” he trailed off.
“Romanov. Natalie Romanov.”
“Miss. Romanov. How would you like to take a look at the place? It a little messy what with the move and all. I know Mr. and Mrs. Price wouldn’t mind if you took a quick peek. What do you say? Are you interested?”
“Lead the way Mr. Kirk.”
Mr. Kirk had been right. The Price’s had not minded her taking a look at the apartment, and she had liked it immediately. After a walk-through of the apartment with Mr. Kirk, he then gave her a brief explanation of what utilities were included. By the time he informed her that there was also a doorman for the building, she had already made up her mind.
“I’ll even reduce the price it would normally go for so we can get you moved in faster. Mr. and Mrs. Price will be all moved out by tomorrow, give me two days after that to get it cleaned and it’s all yours. So what do you think?”
“You’ve got yourself a deal Mr. Kirk.”
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Natalie wouldn’t say she believed much in lucky breaks, after all, her life thus far hadn’t been filled with them, but meeting Mr. Kirk that day and finding the apartment was, indeed, lucky. She had moved in five days later. She had been happy to leave the hotel she had been staying in and got to work on buying furniture and other things the apartment would need, like paint. Mr. Kirk had told her that she was more than welcome to repaint the walls if she wanted to. With job and having nothing else to do, she thought it would be a good idea if she did it herself.
Within a week she had a new apartment, freshly painted walls, furniture and a new start.
Two weeks after that, she was bored. All she seemed to have been doing was reading, taking walks and sometimes exploring her new surroundings. She needed something to do, something to occupy her time before she went crazy. Being idle was not something she was comfortable with, she was after all, a woman of action.
She decided to find a job, to keep herself busy. She scoured the newspapers for employment opportunities, not really looking for anything in specific. With her skill set and training, she could fit into any role she chose.
One morning she came across a posting for a law firm looking for a secretary. She could do that, in fact, she had done it. There had been a mission where she was required to be a secretary last year.
The first thing she had done after breakfast was call the number listed and inquired about the position. Before ending the call Natalie had secured an interview for the following afternoon.
When she had shown up the next day at The Law Offices of Edwards, Lewis & Mills for the interview, she had been expecting to interview with the attorney she would potentially be the secretary for, but the receptionist had informed her that she would first interview with one of the Executive Secretary’s, a Mrs. Rushman. Thinking nothing of it, she had taken a seat in the sitting area and proceeded to wait for someone to come get her.
Imagine her surprise when Mrs. Rushman finally came out to greet her and it was none other than Alicia.
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Alicia had been pleased to realize that Natalie was the Natalie who she was interviewing. Walking together towards an empty conference room, Alicia had told her that when she was asked to interview a potential secretary by the name of Natalie Romanov, she had hoped it would be Natalie, but she didn’t think it actually would be.
Entering the conference room Alicia motioned her to have a seat. “Would you like a glass of water before we get started Miss. Romanov?” Alicia asked before taking a seat herself.
“No, I’m fine. Thank you Mrs. Rushman.”
“Very well.”
Taking a seat in front of Natalie, the interview got underway. Alicia asked if she had done any sort of secretarial work before and she had answered that she had. She gave her a short story explaining that she’d been living in London for a short period of time where she had worked as a secretary. This surprised Alicia who thought that Natalie had been stateside with her grandmother.
“I was in London with a small Ballet company when I injured my knee,” she began to explain, “I couldn’t dance for two months. I decided to get another job while I was healing. I was fortunate enough to find the secretary position, and that they would take a chance on me, even temporarily, with little experience, at all. It was after that when I was informed that my grandmother’s health was failing and decided to come back to the states. She passed not to long after.”
“Again, I’m sorry about your grandmother,” Alicia decided to change the subject, “you are a Ballet dancer? How wonderful! If you don’t mind my asking, why not try to find a position with a local company here instead of secretarial work?”
“My knee didn’t completely heal, there is a little nerve damage to the muscle,” Lie, “it’s not anything to worry about for day to day life, but for a career in dance, well, it’s not ideal.”
“Oh, I’m terribly sorry to hear that.” Alicia had shown such genuine sorrow that Natalie almost felt bad for lying to her. Almost.
“It’s alright. So now here I am. I realize Mrs. Rushman that I might not be the most qualified candidate for this, but I can do it,” Natalie stated.
“Frankly Miss. Romanov, I have no doubt in my mind that you could do this job. If you really want it, the job is yours.”
“Really? That is wonderful, but, this has nothing to do with your grandson right?” she wanted to make sure.
“I guess a small part of me would want to give you the job just because of that, but no. I will always be grateful for what you did but offering you this job has nothing to do with that. I do believe you can do this.” Alicia smiled. Taking a moment, Natalie looked at Alicia then agreed.
“Excellent! Come Miss. Romanov, let’s have you meet Mr. Jenkins. He will be who you will mostly be working with. He’s recently been promoted, and his promotion not only includes a raise in salary, but a slightly larger office and secretary as well.”
“Lucky him.”
Alicia chuckled. As they left the conference room, Natalie paid attention to everything and everyone around as well as listened to everything Alicia was pointing out. Alicia walked her to a closed office door. “This is Mr. Jenkins office, and here,” she pointed to a nice, clean, empty desk to her left, “will be your desk. You are more than welcome to add a few personal touches to your space. We will get you your credentials after you meet Mr. Jenkins.” Knocking on the door, the two waited a few moments before a voice called out and told them to enter.
The office was not fancy. It was what you would expect a lawyer’s office to look like she supposed. The walls where a pristine white. There was a bookshelf to the left with plenty of law books, a file cabinet to the right, a tall green plant was set against the back wall, and in the center was a desk with a few photo frames, two chairs were arranged in front of it and a larger chair behind. In that chair sat a man, Mr. Jenkins she assumed.
Mr. Jenkins seemed a little frazzled at first, and unhappy about the interruption. It seemed as if he was going to berate Alicia when he’d noticed Natalie. He trailed his eyes up and down her body, pausing briefly at her chest. She was by no means dressed provocatively. She wore a simple navy colored dress that ended well below her knees. The neckline went up to her neck where a black ribbon tied in a bow was adorned. Very conservative if you’d ask her, or anyone else for that matter, but it seemed that Mr. Jenkins didn’t seem to care.
Typical she thought.
She was not unaware of how beautiful men considered her to be. It was something that had helped her accomplish many tasks before. Many missions had called upon her using her looks to her advantage in order to get closer to her target. She had no intention of playing it to her advantage now. This was different. He is not a mark, she thought to herself. If he thought that his flirtatious behavior would be welcomed, well, she would gladly prove him wrong.
He was attractive in that generic male way, but she had no intentions of allowing anything to fester between then, a fact that, judging by the gold band on his left hand, his wife would be appreciative of. Snapping himself out of his stupor, he immediately set his papers aside, stood up straight and smiled what he must have thought was his most charming smile.
“Mrs. Rushman, what can I do for you? I’m swamped with paperwork, but you know I will always make time for you. For you and your lovely friend here. Hello, Daniel Jenkins at your service.” Never once taking his eyes off Natalie, he extended his hand with that “charming” smile still in place.
She stared at his outstretched hand thinking about leaving it there, but she thought that would be too rude for a first impression on her new boss. Plastering on a fake smile she gave his hand a firm, quick shake. She felt him try to pull her hand closer, probably so he could kiss it, she squeezed perhaps a little too tightly and dropped his hand. It might not have been noticeable to Alicia, but the slight shake of his hand didn’t go unnoticed by her. She smiled to herself.
“Mr. Jenkins we won’t take up much of your time, just wanted to make a quick introduction. This is Natalie Romanov,” Alicia eyed him critically.
Hmmm, perhaps Alicia had caught on to his flirtatious behavior.
“Miss. Romanov will be joining us here at Edwards, Lewis & Mills. She will be your new secretary and will be here to assist you in any professional matters that you might require.” Alicia pinned him with a hard gaze.
There was no mistaking her meaning or the steel in her tone. Mr. Jenkins quickly tore his gaze away from Natalie and looked to Alicia. “Of course,” he began with slightly red cheeks, “well Natalie it’s lovely to meet you and wonderful to have you on board. Please call me Daniel, seeing as we’ll be working closely from here on out.”
“Thank you for the welcome Mr. Jenkins,” Natalie smiles mischievously, “I would prefer it if you would refer to me as Miss. Romanov, after all, as Mrs. Rushman mentioned, this is a professional setting.” Alicia smirked while ‘Daniel’ reddened just a little bit more.
“Right, of course.”
“Well Mr. Jenkins, we will leave you to it. Miss. Romanov and I still have some paperwork to sign and credentials to obtain.” Alicia stressed. “Come along Miss. Romanov,” Alicia began to lead their way out and Natalie had no problem following. They had just stepped out of the office when Alicia paused then turned to address Mr. Jenkins.
“Oh, before I forget Mr. Jenkins. . . Mrs. Jenkins rang earlier. She wanted to let you know that your mother-in-law would be joining you all for dinner tonight, so, and I quote; ‘don’t be late.” With a final smirk, Alicia closed the door.
Natalie had to stifle a laugh.
“The nerve of that man,” Alicia told Natalie, “I swear he might be a good lawyer, but his manners need some work! If he ever gives you trouble, you come straight to me you hear Natalie. I will not stand having him make you uncomfortable or disrespected!” Alicia fumed, “understood?”
She felt a real smile grace her lips. This woman hardly knew her. In fact she didn’t know the real her at all. Yet she had already decided that she was worth protecting. It had been a really long time since someone tried to protect her. She felt a tightness in her throat and quickly swallowed down the emotion.
“Don’t worry about him, or I Mrs. Rushman. I can handle myself,” she softly spoke.
“Be that as it may, you will inform me if any problems arise. Is that understood?”
She could do nothing else except smile and acquiesced.
“Yes Mrs. Rushman.”
“Good,” Alicia gave her a genuine smile in return, “and none of this Mrs. Rushman, between us Alicia will do just fine. No arguments.”
“Understood.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Alicia had been a genuine surprise. She had tried to keep a distance between them, but still, she grew to like and even care for Alicia, something that she was slightly upset with herself over. Alicia was indeed a kind woman and had tried to bring her under her wing. Not long after Natalie began working at the office, Alicia began bringing her lunch. She had tried to refuse, but Alicia had stated that she was tired of seeing her go out and buy her lunch, that she could do with a good home cooked meal once in a while. Alicia had even stated that if she was interested, she wouldn’t mind having her come over to her home and she would teach her how to cook.
Wondering how Alicia knew she couldn’t cook she asked her. Alicia’s response had been simple. “If you knew how to cook, you wouldn’t need to go out and buy lunch.”
Natalie supposed she was right and thanked her. Though she did declined the offer to teach her to cook. She also told Alicia that she would pay her for the food, since it wasn’t right to take it for free. The sharp glare Alicia gave her ended that particular conversation really quick. Money was never brought up again.
Working at the office was fine. She honestly didn’t mind it, it helped keep her busy. The only thing that irked her was Mr. Jenkins. To be honest, he wasn’t all that bad. He actually was good at his job. It’s the fact that sometimes, his behavior really made her want to punch him in the face. It wasn’t just his flirtatiousness, that she could handle and was quick to shut down. It was comments he made a times that were downright sexist. She truly believed that he believed he was smarter than her just because he was a man.
This past week had been one of those weeks where she had really, really wanted to punch him. He kept making comments about how it was a shame that a beautiful woman like her didn’t have a man to take care of her so she wouldn’t have to work. How if he wasn’t married and they’d met years a few years ago and blah blah bah.
She did NOT need a man to take care of her. She very much capable of taking care of herself and she was more than capable of protecting herself. She could damn well do a better job than any man! She was really sick of it.
She was proud of herself for keeping her temper in check, though she couldn’t be sure it would last. She needed a day off and away from Mr. Jenkins and his sexist antics.
When Mr. Edwards walked into Mr. Jenkins office yesterday morning, Natalie was very happy to find out that time off was exactly what she would be getting. Apparently there was a case Mr. Edwards was working on that required an extra set of eyes. Seeing as everyone else was working on other cases, and Mr. Jenkins had just wrapped one of his up, he was the one chosen to assist. It also didn’t hurt that Mr. Edwards was Mr. Jenkins boss therefore rendering him unable to decline. Mr. Edwards probably also wanted to check in and see if Mr. Jenkins was earning his promotion.
At first she had thought that this meant she would be stuck in the office with them working longer hours. Helping them file, research or be assigned designated coffee getter. Therefore it was a pleasant and welcome surprise when Mr. Edwards turned to her and informed her that she was not needed for this case and could take the rest of the week off. Apparently he had been keeping an eye on her as well and was happy with the work and contribution she had been to the company overall.
It might have also helped that Mrs. Rushman, who was the Executive Secretary to Mr. Edwards, and in charge of all the secretaries in the office, had only great things to say about her. Natalie could kiss Alicia! Mr. Edwards left the office with a “I expect you in my office at 3 o’clock Mr. Jenkins,” and a “Miss. Romanov go on get out of here. We expect you back on Monday. Enjoy the rest of your week.”
“Goodbye Mr. Jenkins. I’ll see you on Monday.” She wasted no time in quickly gathering her things. She didn’t even give him time to form a response before she hightailed it out of there. As she was making her way towards the lobby she caught Alicia’s eyes. Alicia simply smiled, winked and waved Natalie away.
On her way home she had stopped at a bookstore to pick up a new book. When she got home she made a cup of tea and cuddled up in her bed with her new book. She had stayed up until dawn reading, which was partly why this morning she decided to just lie in bed.
After the week she had, and the late morning cleaning spree she’d done, her bath felt wonderful. Another sigh left her as she rested her neck on the edge of the tub and further relaxed into the hot water.
I really needed this.
Extending her leg out and out of the tub she pointed her toes perfectly. It had been a while since she danced, perhaps later she would bring out her ballet slippers and Pirouette around her apartment a bit. Bringing her leg back down, and with the thought of ballet in mind, she allowed the hot water and sweet aromas to lull her to sleep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She can remember it clearly, the first time her parents took her to a ballet.
She was three years old and excited to get all dressed up like her mother and stay up late. Her parents had debated taking her at all, but Natalia had been out the day before with both her parents and she’d seen the posters. She had been drawn to the women pictured in the pretty costumes. When she had asked her parents why they wore them, her mama had told her it was because they were ballerinas.
“Ballerinas? What’s that?”
Her mama had chuckled. The way she had explained it had painted such a wonderful image in her mind that Natalia had no choice, she had to see them, in person, with her own two eyes! She was determined, so she begged her parents to take her. They were hesitant, but her father caved first when it came to face her stubborn, undeterred persistence. The following evening, she found herself at the ballet with her parents, on the condition and promise to behave herself impeccably.
She was entranced by what she witnessed. The lights, the music, the costumes! It was all so exciting! What enthralled her the most however, was the dancing. Oh it was wonderful! She had never in her three whole years witnessed anything so magical before. The way the dancers moved, the way they were able to tell stories with their facial expression and whole-bodies, no words were necessary. It was fascinating!
By the end of the performance, when the curtain came down, she was standing on her seat clapping has hard and as loudly as her three-year-old self could. Leaving the venue that night she thought to herself that she had found her calling. She was going to be a ballerina! The very best and most famous ballerina in all of Russia! Maybe even the world!
When her parents tucked her into bed that night, she told them just that. They only chuckled in response and bid her goodnight. That was the first night she dreamed of being a ballerina, of being on a stage, dancing a solo at a sold-out ballet herself.
For the next week she pestered her parents about letting her take dance lessons. She was so insistent. Even at three years old, she could be very persuasive when she wanted to achieve something. Nothing was going to stop her from being a ballerina. To be a ballerina she first needed to take the ballet dance lessons, why couldn’t her mama and papa understand that.
Again, it was her father who gave in first to her wishes. Her mother had just chuckled and said something about how Natalia could have asked to visit the moon and her papa would have found a way to make it happen for her. She didn’t want to visit the moon she had said, she only wanted to be a ballerina. That had elicited a laugh from both parents. So, two week later, Natalia was enrolled in a dance academy and dressed in tights, a leotard and a tutu, was taken to her very first ballet lesson. It was everything she had hoped it would be and more.
Madam Dominika was a former ballerina herself who had spent years with a prestigious Russian Ballet Company. It was during a rehearsal that she had taken a nasty fall and injured her left leg. Unfortunately it never fully healed. Instead of quitting dance altogether, she decided that she would open her own dance academy and help train the next generations of prima ballerinas. and She had found that she enjoyed teaching almost as much as she had dancing and quickly her academy began to grow successful.
Natalia had thought she was the luckiest girl to have Madam Dominika as her instructor, which is why she was such a dutiful pupil. Everything Madam Dominika would teach she would eagerly absorb. Though she was very young and only just starting out, Madam Dominika had already spotted her “natural talent and potential.” “A true protégé” she had called her. She had not understood what those words meant exactly, all she knew was that her parents seemed proud and not only was she getting to go to dance lessons on the weekends, but now she was having private lessons with Madam Dominika three times a week as well. She had been beyond happy, she wanted to spend all her time dancing.
When she was at home, she would practice everything Madam Dominika taught her on her own. At night, when her parents declared her bedtime, she would take her bath then wait for either her mother or father to come in, read her a story, tuck her in, then she would pretend to fall asleep. She would lie in bed until she was sure that they had gone to bed themselves so they couldn’t hear her, then jump out of bed and practice some more. Even as she slept, Natalia dreamt of dancing. In the mornings the first thing she would do was stretch and then practice some more.
All her practicing and training had been worth it. When she was 4 Madam Dominika gave her, her very first solo performance. Oh, she had jumped in excitement at the news and her parents were thrilled as well. Being on the stage under the bright lights, wearing a pretty costume and dancing to pretty music, had been just as magical as she imagined it would be. The reactions, the applause, it was remarkable. She knew it would only get better, that she would only get better as she grew up. At least, that’s what she had thought.
Everything in her life changed when she was five. She had been with Madam Dominika one evening for rehearsals when police officers had shown up. There had been some sort of fire. Her parents had been home at the time the blaze occurred. She was young, but she understood that they were hurt and had been taken to the hospital. The officers were there to pick her up and take her there.
Madam Dominika had grown to care for Natalia, she didn’t want her to be alone, so she had gone with her, hoping for the little girl’s sake that her parents would be alright. By the time they had arrived at the hospital they were informed that both of Natalia’s parents had, unfortunately, succumbed to their injuries. They were gone.
Little Natalia had been devastated. She understood that she would never see her parents ever again. Sitting in the hospital waiting room she had sobbed in Madam Dominika’s arms until she had cried herself to sleep. Madam Dominika had held her the entire time, silently wondering what would happen to the poor girl now. As far as she knew, Natalia had no other family. Looking at the little girl sleeping in her arms, a profound sense of protection overcame Madam Dominika. She decided that she would take her in and raise her as if she were her own daughter.
Two weeks after her parents had died, Natalia’s life changed again. She had been staying with Madam Dominika when one morning she had woken up to hear voices arguing. Getting up she had walked down the stairs and followed the voices into the living room. Madam Dominika was there with two men Natalia had never seen before.
Calling out to her dance instructor all the adults in the room turned to see she was awake. Madam Dominika rushed over to her. Hugging her tightly she picked her up and carried her over to the sofa. Sitting her down she then proceeded to inform Natalia what was going on and who the strange men were. One of the men was introduced as Vadmin Radulov, a lawyer, and the other man was a General Ivan Petrovitch. They were there because Vadmin Radulov was a lawyer from the firm her parents had employed and entrusted their will too. In their will, her parents had named Ivan Petrovitch Natalia’s guardian, and should anything ever happen to them, he was to take her in and raise her.
NO!
Natalia did not wanted to leave Madam Dominika! She did not want to go with these strangers any more than Dominika had wanted to let her go. She would fight to keep Natalia she had said. Vadmin informed them it would be a losing battle.
“Natalia’s parents will, and last wishes would be honored in any court,” he’d proclaimed.
Ivan Petrovitch was a stranger! How could she possibly be forced to go with him?!
Ivan tried to explain that he was no real stranger. That he was an old friend of Anton, Natalia’s father. They were practically brothers. The only reason he hadn’t been around much was because he had been away on missions, but he had always stayed in touch with both Anton and Karina. They had kept him updated on their lives and of Natalia and her love of ballet. He had recently returned from a mission when he was informed of Anton and Karina’s passing and of the will. He was sorry for not being there sooner. Ivan thanked Dominika for caring for Natalia, but he would honor his friend’s final wish and take her in.
Madam Dominika had not been convinced, but unfortunately, there was nothing she could do, but she promised Natalia that she would not stop trying. Crying into Madam Dominika’s shoulder Natalia had asked if she would still be able to see her for her dance lessons. Ivan had interjected and said that regrettably, she would not. Where he lived, and now Natalia as well, was too far away from the academy, but he promised to find her another academy when they arrived. With that Natalia had been sent to collect her belongings, what little was left, just a small trunk of clothes. Everything else had been destroyed in the fire.
It was hard for Dominika and Natalia to say goodbye. They held on to each other for as long as they could, both with tears in their eyes, but before Dominika had let Natalia go, she whispered to her that should she ever need anything, she would always be there for her no matter what. With that and a final kiss, they were separated, and Natalia was soon ushered into Ivan’s car, leaving everything and everyone she had ever known behind.
She had tried to make conversation with Ivan during very their long drive. She had asked him of his work, which he wouldn’t really discuss, so she instead spoke about dance and how much she loved it and couldn’t wait to continue her study of it. She once again asked him if he would keep his promise of letting her dance. He had told her that he was going to take her to a place where she would learn many things, and if she was a good student, dance would be one of those things.
Sometime during their long drive, she had fallen asleep. When she awoke, she saw that they were arriving at a big gated house in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nothing but snow in all directions. She had asked Ivan where they were, and he had simply told her that it was her new home. Parking the car and coming over to take her hand they began making their way to a woman waiting patiently by the steps of the front door for them. Standing in front of the woman Ivan had introduced her to Natalia simply as Madam Sveta. Natalia had looked from Madam Sveta to Ivan asking if this is where she would dance now. Madam Sveta had smiled at her and taken her hand before walking into the house with Ivan falling into step behind them.
“Yes, my dear, you will learn to dance. Amongst other things. Welcome, to The Red Room Academy.”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She startled awake.
Disoriented, it took her a moment to realize that no she was not in Russia, nor was she a child in the Red Room any longer. Breathe in one-two, out three-four, breathe in one-two, out three-four she repeated the mantra to herself. Taking deep breaths she tried to reign in her shakiness. Slower than she would like to admit, she became aware of her surroundings. She was in the tub, in her apartment. In Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Not Russia. There was no Vadmin or Ivan here. There was no Madam Sveta.
Breathe.
Natalie became aware of everything else after that, like the fact that the water had now grown cold and the candle she had lit was almost burned out. Rising precariously to her feet, she reached for a towel and got out of the tub. As she stepped out she noticed that she had spilled water onto the floor, probably from when she startled awake. Natalie grabbed an extra towel and dropped it on top of the water that had spilled.
That will do, for now, I’ll get the mop later.
Walking over to the counter she stopped and looked at her reflection in the mirror. A hollowed eyed pale version of herself greeted her. That dream, no, that memory, had shaken her. It had been two weeks since her last nightmare, and a little longer since any of her actual memories haunted her dreams.
I will never know peace. I don’t deserve it.
Sighing, Natalie rubs her eyes and steels herself. The past is the past, there is nothing I can do to change it. Resolved, she shoves the memory and any associated emotions with it down deep.
Compartmentalize.
She turns away and reaches for her clothes. After drying herself off she quickly dresses herself. Once she is fully dressed, she tosses her towel into the hamper then walks over to pick up the towel she’d dropped on the floor. Using it, she wipes away any excess water that wasn’t absorbed when the towel was first dropped on the spill. That task done she tosses the damp towel into the hamper as well. Laundry for another day.
Completely dressed she stands in front of the mirror. She reaches for her cosmetics bag and considers not applying any at all. Normally she knows she doesn’t need it, but the shadows under her eyes quickly debunk that thought. Quietly and quickly, Natalie applies her make-up.
Finishing off her subtle look with a coat of mascara and forgoing any lipstick today. She next reaches for her hairbrush, running it through her hair just so it doesn’t become a tangled mess. She leaves it down, knowing that once it dries her natural soft waves will seem appropriately styled on their own. She was not in any mood to style it any other way anyways. Giving herself one final check she deems herself acceptable and exits the room. Silence follows her as she steps into the hallway and makes her way to her bedroom. Once inside, Natalie takes a look around.
Nothing.
Her room is clean, as is the rest of her apartment, and its quiet. Too quiet. She wouldn’t mind if she hadn’t just gone down memory lane. In the quiet she know more memories will emerge. It will be harder to stifle the demons of her past. She needs noise. She needed to get out.
The grocery store! That is the perfect distraction.
Making up her mind she goes to her closet and pulls out her purse. Opening it up she quickly makes sure that her coin purse is inside. Appeased that it is in there and she doesn’t have to find it in a different purse, she walks around to her vanity is, looking for the shoes she left on the floor next to the chair the day before. Slipping them on she is about to turn and leave when from the corner of her eye, a small piece of white fabric catches her attention. There on top of her vanity was the new handkerchief she had purchased two week ago.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
She had been on her way back to her apartment from work when she decided to pop into a department store she was walking by. There was no reason for her to stop in. She just wanted to have a look around.
The women’s department was nicely organized but it smelled strongly of whatever newest flowered perfume was in. Not wanting to deal with the headache the smell would more than likely give her, she was about to turn around and exit as quickly as possible when a mannequin in the towards the center of the room caught her eye. It wasn’t necessarily the mannequin itself that got her attention, it was the dress the mannequin wore.
It was a form fitting knee length dress. It had a high rounded neckline, and a darted bodice. The shoulders had a slight ruching to them, and its long sleeves ended with elastic cuffs. A tied knot detail on the hip gave the dress a draped skirt look. It was a beautiful dress, but what had really caught her attention was the color. It was a beautifully striking dark emerald color.
She was making her way towards it when a young sales associate intercepted her.
“Good evening Ma’am is there anything I can assist you with today?”
“That dress you have there on that mannequin, where might I find it?’ Natalie asked the young lady.
Turning to see which dress she was referring to, the associates eyes alighted with joy.
“Oh its beautiful isn’t it! We just got it in today, it’s part of a new exclusive limited collection we will be carrying in store.”
She didn’t miss the way the woman’s eyes sparkled or the tone she used when informing her about the dress. She clearly meant to inform her that the dress was expensive. Not that money was an issue, she was. . .comfortable.
She still had a few stashes hidden away that were well equipped and remained intact as well. Being a spy had taught her to always be prepared for anything. You never knew when a quick getaway was going to be needed. Having plenty of money in different locations was smart. However right now she was working at the law firm, so most of the money she used came from that income. The supply she has come here with had been untouched since her first paycheck was issued.
Natalie was pretty sure the girl worked on commission. The prospect of selling her this one new “exclusive” dress would most likely be better than making a whole week’s worth of sales.
“Since it is a new and exclusively limited collection we don’t have it out on the floor, but if you’d like to try it on, we can set you up in a dressing room while I run up to our stock room and grab your size,” the young woman helpfully supplied.
Natalie paused for a moment. She didn’t need the dress. She really didn’t need anything. Glancing back at the dress she decided that no she didn’t need it, but it was pretty and work, Mr. Jenkins more specifically, had been pushing her buttons, so she figured she deserved something nice, a treat.
“Sure, that sounds great.”
“Wonderful! Right this way Miss?” she trailed off.
“Romanov,” Natalie supplied.
“Right this way then Miss. Romanov,” she led her to a nicely decorated and spacious dressing room. “My name is Alyssa and if you need anything else please don’t hesitate to let me know. I will be back momentarily with the dress.” With a giant smile she turned and went in search of the “exclusive” dress. Left alone Natalie took a seat and waited.
She didn’t have to wait long. Alyssa was back in the dressing room not ten minutes later with the dress in hand.
“Here we are Miss. Romanov, it is going to look absolutely stunning on you!” Alyssa placed the dress on a hook mounted on the wall, “I’ll just set this here for you. We have the large three way mirror outside if you wanted to have a better look of how the dress fits you. If you need anything else I will be out there as well, or you can just ring this buzzer,” Alyssa pointed to a button next to the door, gave her another smile and left her alone to try the dress on.
It didn’t take her long to strip herself of her coat and work dress and slip on the new dress. She faced the mirror inside the dressing room and got a look of herself in the dress. It was pretty when on the mannequin, but she had to admit that it looked better on her. It was truly a flattering dress, hugging her in all the right areas.
If she was a normal woman she supposed that the dress would be a perfect purchase for a night out on the town with her fella. She could almost visualize the appreciating look this man would give her. Almost. She wasn’t a normal woman though, and there was no man to impress.
Appreciating her own appearance in the mirror she decided that it didn’t matter. She was going to buy this dress for herself, even if she never wore it. Should an opportunity arise that calls for a dress such as this, then she will be happy to know that it is already in her closet.
Decision made, she changed back into her own clothes. Taking the dress out with her she was met with Alyssa’s eager face.
“I noticed that you hadn’t come out to take a look in the mirrors, I was just coming to check how you were doing.”
“Yes it wasn’t necessary. The mirror in the room was just fine. I’ll take the dress.”
Alyssa’s entire face lit up with Natalie’s statement.
“Excellent! I knew you’d absolutely love it! Is there anything else I can help you find today? Perhaps a new pair of shoes that would just look perfect with this dress?” Alyssa’s eager eyes met her own.
“Not today,” Natalie softly informed Alyssa, “just the dress will do.”
Looking slightly dejected at not making a bigger sale but still keeping a smile on her face Alyssa nodded. “Alright then, if there will be nothing else for you today would you like me to take this to the register and wrap it up for you?”
“Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”
It was at the register counter where Alyssa was wrapping up her purchase that Natalie noticed a tray with handkerchiefs. There were ones made of fine silks with fancy designs and some made of soft cotton with flowery patterns. They were pretty but Natalie wasn’t really the kind of woman that walked around with a handkerchief in her purse, but there was a white cotton handkerchief on the tray that she couldn’t help but be drawn to. It was the only one that was solid in color and had no design. Reaching for it she was slightly surprised by how soft it was.
Opening up the square piece of fabric she realized that her assumption of it being white and having no design had only been partially right. Getting a closer look at it she now noticed that at the bottom right corner of the cloth was an embroidered letter N. The embroidered letter was done in an off white color. Since the handkerchief itself was white, you wouldn’t notice the off-white embroidery unless you held it close.
Absentmindedly she ran her thumb back and forth over the letter. “N” she thought, for Natalia. . . Natalie.
“That is from a collection we frequently restock. We usually have a few different colors and letters, right now we only have the one. We should be receiving more within the next week if you were looking for a different letter or color. Perhaps I can show you a few other types? We just got in this lovely silk collection that I think you would just love!”
Natalie was brought out of her musing by the appearance of Alyssa, who’s eyes seemed to glisten at the mere thought of encouraging her to buy what she could only assume was another expensive item. Setting the handkerchief back on the tray she gave Alyssa her attention.
“No, that’s not necessary. Just the dress today.”
She could see some disappointment on Alyssa’s face, but it wasn’t going to change her mind. Besides, what use does she have for a handkerchief? None. Especially a monogrammed one.
Most women would love to carry such things, they might even find it charming. She was not like most women.
She was raised in the Red Room, a product of their teachings. From an early age she was trained in espionage. She was taught how to disarm, to attack, out maneuver, how to seduce. How to kill. She was a weapon. They raised her to be the best, and she was.
One of the things that was instilled in her growing up was that she must never get attached to anything, that included people, items, even pets. It would always be seen and used as a weakness. Under no circumstance should she ever carry anything that could be used to identify her. A monogrammed handkerchief would definitely fall under that category.
Natalia had always followed that rule. It’s the reason she has no photos of herself, why she doesn’t allow photos to be taken of her, why she doesn’t own much jewelry. It’s why she doesn’t own anything personalized, nothing meaningful.
But Natalia is gone her mind reminded her, isn’t she?
Natalie is who she was now.
Would it really be so bad to have this one thing?
Biting her lower lip she glanced back at the white fabric. No I can’t, I’m not allowed. Yes, you can, who is going to stop you? Her mind kept arguing.
“Alright Miss. Romanov, if that’s all for you I have your total ready.”
Alyssa’s voice broke through her internal struggle. Looking directly at Alyssa Natalie made up her mind. “Actually, go ahead and wrap up that white handkerchief as well.”
“Oh, alright.” Alyssa grabbed the fabric from the tray. As she turned to box it up she once again tried to sway Natalie to a more expensive one. “Are you sure you wouldn’t be interested in the newer styles we have? A silk with a flowered design perhaps?”
“No, I like the simplicity of this one. Thank you for recommendations though.”
“Okay, let me just finish boxing this up then.”
Ten minutes later she was walking out of the store with her purchases in hand.
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Still in its box it had been sitting on her vanity ever since. She had taken the lid off and would sometimes just sit and run her fingers over the cloth. Still a little surprised in herself that she had bought it.
Instead of running her finger over it like she would normally do, she decided to take it out of the box and quickly placed it in her purse and stepped out of her bedroom. She was almost to her front door when she stopped and wondered if she should take a light coat with her. Looking towards her living room windows she determined that it wasn’t necessary. It was still relatively early, and the sun was out. Keys in hand she exited her apartment and locked up.
If she stopped for too long she was sure that she would be assaulted by faces and voices that she would rather not think of. The quicker she got to the grocery store the better. She needed the normality that grocery shopping would provide.
It was such a mundane task, just what she needed.
Afterall, what surprises could a trip to the grocery store possibly bring?