Of Fathers and Sons and Cycles

*

His dad picks him up in one of his least flashy cars, “hop in kiddo we’re going on a little trip.”

Peter glances around, making sure no one’s paying attention, and gets in. “Hey dad I’m guessing you found out about-”

“Sorry I took your suit,” Tony says breaching the silence, “also got some cheeseburgers?”

“Sweet, thanks dad.” And means it. Reaching in for one.

“But you had it coming. Actually,” Tony muses, “it turns out it was the perfect sort of tough love moment that you need right? I think I’m getting good at this dad thing. Only took me what, fifteen years to start figuring it out. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Peter’s a little busy munching on his burger to talk, musing over what he’s been thinking of saying to his dad. Toomes might be put away, but he hit a nerve.

“Let’s just say it was.”

Peter takes a sip of his coke. “Actually dad. . .”

“Shoot bud. No pun intended.”

“You used to sell, you made weapons right? Or used to.” Peter’s never really wondered where the money came from.

Tony sighs, hands gripping the steering wheel with more force than needed. “Yeah.”

“Did-did you ever think about the consequences?”

“Peter, when I said I made a lot of mistakes, I meant it. And that entire part of my life was a lot of them. I made weapons and I didn’t ask questions. I had no accountability and everyone who died, unjustly and needlessly, that’s on me.

The Stark Industries I inherited from my dad, was a weapons manufacturer. Huge. All the way back to world war two and sure he did a lot of great things, defeated the nazi’s, helped push mankind into space, but we also sold weapons and didn’t ask question. And I-I-it took way to long for me to change. There's no excuse.

It took me being held hostage to prioritize, to really figure out what I wanted my legacy to be. What I was going to leave you. And I didn't want that, I didn’t want that blood on your hands. That’s why I’m Iron Man. That’s why I can be so hard on you, especially these last few months. I’m trying to right all the wrong I did and I don’t know if it’ll ever be enough.

But I’m trying.”

“I know you are dad,” Peter states. “You saved the world remember.”

Tony smirks, “don’t forget the part about giving the world cheap clean energy.”

Peter smiles and shoves a fistfull of fries into his mouth.

“Teenage boys are disgusting.”

He tries really hard not to laugh with a mouth full of fries.

“Anything else you need to get off your chest before we get to the new compound?”

“You-You're my dad right?”

“Duh,” tony says, rolling his eyes, “you think I get just anyone cheeseburgers?”

“I mean, you’re not ashamed of me, right?” He focuses really hard on the passing greenery, much more common upstate than in Queens. “Like you-like I’m not just some accident?”

“Peter. You are my son and I have never and will never be ashamed to admit it. I’ll write it in sky letters if you want.

What brought this on?”

“Just,” Peter shrugs, “I mean no one knows. And I get why, but-it makes me feel shitty sometimes.”

“Language.”

“Dad!”

“Okay, not the right time, but the point still stands. You can tell all the Avengers right after we announce you, well spiderman, as the newest Avenger. Still hasn’t been clear by May but I find that asking for forgiveness is easier than asking for permission. Or well, I’m going to brag to the avengers.”

“Um,” Peter eloquently replies. He’s not sure he’s ready for that now. He fought Adrian Toomes who dad had called a low level criminal and two weeks later he was still feeling it. He didn’t want to even think about what fighting aliens or an army of robots must be like. “Actually, can we hold off on that. I mean I’ll take my suit back but. . .I don’t think I’m ready to be an Avenger just yet.”

His dad looks thoughtful for a second, “then how about we announce you’re my son. Explain we kept it all on the DL for privacy reasons. Kind of already called a press conference. No pressure, I’ll just swing it if you don’t want to do anything.”

“I can do that,” Peter agrees, polishing off his second burger. He could probably clean out the whole bag thanks to his enhanced metabolism. “I mean, I’d like that.”

“Peter Parker Stark, I like the sound of it.”

“Mom named me.”

“Still, I like it. Oh and almost forgot, Pepper said yes, to marrying me.”

“Was she really tired,” Peter jokes.

“Hey!”

*

Standing in front of a press conference is a lot like giving a speech in front of the class only worse. Cameras flash, blinding his sensitive eyes. Peter isn't sure where he's supposed to go and it's only his dad's hand on his back, leading him to the center that keeps him from freezing.

He glances back at Pepper, looking every bit the CEO she is, encouraging smile on her lips when she catches his gaze.

“Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark,” reporters call out and Tony flashes a confident smile, waving at them.

Peter tries to smile but it feels forced and awkward and he drops it after a second, fighting the urge to rub his eyes. Sometimes superpowers sucked.

They all tense as dad goes to the microphone, ready to start, clearly expecting another outrageous announcement from Tony, much like the Iron Man one or the talk he'd given after New York.

“It's nice to see familiar faces,” Tony jokes, leaving a beat for the chuckles from the reporters, before continuing, “I called this press conference to discuss the future of Stark Industries and my legacy. It's something that's been at the forefront of my mind since changing the direction of the company.”

Peter doesn't know what to do with his hands, handing loose by his sides, foot tapping by Tony's side.

The cameras all flash again and Peter thinks that's probably why his dad wears sunglasses so much, for the paps. There all tense, Peter can sense it in the air, a buzzing in the room as they hold their breath in anticipation.

With Tony, anything could happen.

“And I think it's also time to publicly,” Tony laughs, looking over at Peter with a soft fondness all parents have for their kids, clear in his eyes, “to publicly acknowledge my son, and heir to Stark Industries, Peter Parker Stark.”

The crowd of reporters goes crazy and Peter’s momentarily frozen, trying to catch up with everything, thoughts racing because he sort of guessed his dad would leave him everything. But he’d only known it in a factual abstract way, like the theory of gravity or the way you know water’s two hydrogens and one oxygen even though you can’t see the particles. They’d never talked about that.

“Come up here kiddo,” his dad grins, crushing him against his side and waving out as the light bulbs flash, each one racing to break the news first, to get the best picture for their website or print magazine.

Peter focuses on his dad, and smiles at him, a weight lifted. He was proud to be Tony’s son. And he was glad he wouldn’t have to hide it anymore.

*

Tony was having a great day. Had a great night's sleep. Was thinking about growing his family, adding another Stark to the world. Hopefully more Potts than Stark. He was already too much for Pepper sometimes.

When the universe that decides to go to hell. It takes all of his willpower not to tell everyone I told you so. He's been saying this for years and vindication is a cold comfort as he fights the so called children of Thanos, trying to keep the time stone out of their grasp.

Playing Hot potato except this time there's no Avengers online to joke to between punches and close calls with death.

And to cap it all of his son joins the fray.

“Hey dad,” he calls out. “What's up,” while holding back the alien currently trying to kill them.

“Kid, where'd you come from?” Peter should be at school, far from here. It's one thing to fight other people in suits, aliens. Thanos. This is the last place he wants his son near.

Like father like son.

“Field trip to the MoMA.”

Peter gets thrown aside like a rag doll and Tony's on it. Refuses to watch anything happen to his son. Refuses to let the evil aliens get what they want. Not on his watch.

“What's this guys problem dad?”

“He's from space. He came to steal a necklace from a wizard.”

At Stranges appearance, Tony calls out, “that's the wizard.”

“On it,” and Tony can only hope the universe cuts him a break. He very much doubts it. Is pretty sure being born a billionaire is cause to max out all your luck at once, but he only has one son.

And then he's flying up the the ship, save the wizard save the earth, save the wizard, stop thanos.

Peters on his way down to earth and he's telling Pepper, breaking the news “-I just think we might have to push our 8:30 res.”

“Why?”

“Just ’cause I’ll… probably not make it back for awhile.” He winces, breaking another promise. It seems like every time he tries to stop, to leave it all behind for his loved ones, the world goes to shit.

“Tell me your not on that ship!”

“Yeah.” At least Peter’s on earth now. He'll be fine as long as Tony kills whoever this Thanos guy is. Everyone he loves is safe and they will be as long as he's still alive to protect them with every breath he takes.

*

Peter is so not on earth and if this wasn't a life or death type scenario he'd be a little proud honestly. He's just never going to tell Peter that because the kid gave him a heart attack and there was nothing to do but go forward and why'd he have to be his son.

Why couldn't he have hightailed it the other way?

To cap it all off, Peter tries to shake hands with the cape and Tony rolls his eyes from below his helmet. “Hey, we haven't officially me?”

“We gotta turn this ship around,” Strange utters and Tony wonders when people will start listening to him before everything goes to hell. At this point going back would only being Thanos to earth much faster and Tony sure as hell has no plants of letting that happen.

One battle of New York was bad enough thank you very much.

“Yeah, now he wants to run. Great plan.”

“No,” the wizard responds, voice hears with annoyance as he regards Tony with the same disdain Stane had as he'd pulled the arc reactor from his chest, “I want to protect the stone.”

Tony leans into it. “And I want you to thank me, go ahead. I'm listening.”

“For what! For nearly blasting me into space?”

“Who just saved your magical ass, me!” Looks like Tony's going have to start playing the responsible adult much more these days seeing as no one else will.

“I seriously don't know how you fit that head into your helmet.”

He'd get along great with Steve. “Admit it. You should have ducked out when I told you to. I tried to bench you. You refused.” And now they were on a donut heading for a crazy alien who wanted to destroy the world. Along with Peter!

“Unlike everyone else in your life, I don’t work for you.”

“And due to that fact, we’re now in a flying doughnut billions of miles away from Earth with no backup.”

Peter speaks up, “I'm backup.”

“No. You’re a stowaway. The adults are talking,” Tony says, having to play the bad guy for wanting his son safe. He'd sent him gone for christ's sake. Couldn't anyone cut him a break.

“I’m sorry, I’m confused as to the relationship here. What is he, your ward?”

“No, I'm his son. Peter, by the way.”

“Son,” Strange voices, eyes flickering back and forth between Tony and Peter, “I'm Doctor Strange. Excuse me your brought your son into this!”

“I didn't bring him, he snuck on board,” Tony protests tiredly. May was going to kill him if-when they got back. He looks around the ship, tries to make sense of the foreign tech and symbols on the consol.

“Oh we’re using our made up names. Um...I'm spider-man then.”

Tony watches the ship self adjust by degrees, lights flashing constantly, the hum of the ship steady. “This ship is self-correcting its course. Things on autopilot.”

“Can we control it? Fly us home?”

Tony can't look at them. At either of them. If he does this, and he will because no life is worth billions, that's the type of hard calls he keeps being forced to make, he's dooming them all, most likely. But hey, he's gotten lucky so maybe he can pull off another miracle. “Yeah.”

“Can you get us home,” Strange prods.

“Yeah I heard you. I’m thinking…I’m not so sure we should.” If they go to him. Thanos won't go to earth. They can stop him before he even sets foot on the planet.

“Under no circumstance can we bring the Time Stone to Thanos. I don’t think you quite understand what’s at stake here.”

“No. It’s you who doesn’t understand. Thanos has been inside my head for six years…Since he sent an army to New York and now he’s back! And I don’t know what to do. So I’m not so sure if it’s a better plan to fight him on out turf or his but you saw what they did, what he can do. At least on his turf, he’s not expecting it. So I say we take the fight to him. Doctor. Do you concur?”

Strange takes a deep breath before relenting, “Alright , Stark. We go to him. But you have to understand….if it comes to saving you or the kid or the Time Stone… I will not hesitate to let either of you die. I can’t, because the fate of the universe depends on it.”

“Good. Nice. Moral compass.We’re straight,” he puts a hand on Peter’s shoulder and doubts everything he's doing, wishing he could just turn and run. “Alright kid, you're an avenger now.”

Peter swallows, “Okay,” smiling carefully as they stare out into the vastness of space to wherever this ship is taking them. “I can do that no problem.”

Strange shakes his head. “He's just a child.”

And honestly Tony's sick of being called a bad parent. May and Pepper can do that all they want, they're family, but this wizard? “Well I can't help it if he snuck on board after I sent him home.”

At the same time Peter protests, “I couldn't just go home! I had to protect it and you can't-what's the point of going home if there's no home to go back to.”

Fuck. Now he's really done it. Placed the same familiar weight of the world on his son’s shoulders. He thought he could do better. Be better than his father, but maybe he's just found a new way to fuck up.

“God,” Tony mutters, “You were so tiny,” thinking back to the first time he'd held his son, coming in straight for the airport to Mary's place back in the day. It had been crazy to think that that small adorable thing was his. Him, a dad.

Heart lodged in his throat as he'd looked down at Peter in his arms and wanted to cry, god he'd been so happy, his son taking root in his heart from the first second Tony had known.

“Dad,” Peter mutters, blushing red and trying to hide it as he duck his head down. “Not while we’re on a mission.”

Strange just watches on passively, taking a seat to meditate.

*

He knows he's failed when Thanos leaves. When the guardians fall into ashes and he's reaching for Peter, pulling his only son, into his arms.

“Talk to me kid?”

“Dad,” Peter says, “I don't feel so good.” All his senses going crazy, trying to warn him about the inevitable.

The blood leeches from Tony’s face, taking his son in his arms, holding him, now all grown, like he once did when he was a child. Parents shouldn't outlive their kids. They shouldn't have to.

He tries to stay calm, for Peter's sake. “You're alright.”

Everything's too much, like when Peter was just bitten. Too much input, signals all scrambled and sending his head pounding out a oncoming migraine. “I don’t know what’s – I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t –”

Peter feels scared for the first time that day. Thinks maybe he should've felt scared a long time ago, when they'd broken through the atmosphere, when the sky full of stars had grown unrecognizable, the moment aliens had landed in New York, the way Ned had screamed.

Tony feels a cold, hallowed out as he's helpless. They've lost. There's nothing to be done but he can't accept that, can't live with himself, helpless to help his son.

The words don't come.

“Save me, save me! I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go, Dad, please. Please, I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go… I’m sorry.”

Tony watches in horror as Peter turns to ashes in his arms, hands still held in the same position long after the winds scattered his son on this wreckage of a planet.

“He did it,” the daughter of thanos utters, gazing out, swallowing hard and sounding as empty as Tony feels.