Nurture

"This is completely safe, right?" Bucky asks, watching as Bruce sets up his equipment so he can begin running some tests on Francis.

He's still not entirely comfortable with a lot of the tech in this day and age. Especially when to comes to medical technology, and stuff similar to what Bruce uses. Even when he was in Wakanda all of the tech there was a little too overwhelming to him.

Too many bad memories surround a lot of medical technology. All because of what Hydra did to him. So it makes sense for him to be wary of it all, and not want any harm to come to his son.

"Huh?" Bruce looks up at him from where he was busy staring at something on his computer monitor. "Oh, yeah. It's perfectly safe." He assures him. "No harm will come to Francis."

"Don't worry, Buck." Steve says, wrapping an arm around him. "Francis will be fine. There's nothing to worry about."

Bucky sighs, looking up at him, adjusting his hold on Francis. "I know, but... it's just that I don't entirely trust things like this." He says. "Not after what happened."

He doesn't like to think about what happened, but it's hard not to at times. Especially when he sees a lot of new medical technology, and things like what Bruce uses.

It's not like he doesn't trust Bruce because he does - well... from what Steve's told him about Bruce at least. It's more so because of all the bad memories he has associated with the type of stuff he works with. It was like that with all of Shuri's equipment too.

In fact, he wasn't even there when Shuri attempted to run a few tests on Francis to see if he had anything. Steve had taken him to her while he was asleep. And let's just say that he almost had a heart attack and freaked out when he woke up and Francis wasn't in the hut with him.

"Alright, Bucky." Bruce starts. "I need you to get Francis seated on the chair." He instructs, referring to the chair in the middle of the room.

As Bucky does as Bruce instructs, he only just notices Peter making his way in with more equipment they may need that Bruce had sent him out to get.

"Where do you want me to put this?" Peter asks.

"Over on the table would be good, thanks Peter." Bruce says, referring on the metal table next to the chair Francis is seated on.

And Bucky can't help but eye the syringe that Peter had set down among the rest of the equipment he had brought in, and he wraps an arm around Francis. He knows it's necessary, but that doesn't mean that he has to like a lot of this. His son is only two after all, and he's about to be tested on to find out if he has any sort of mutant abilities thanks to the serums.

He may not like it, but it has to be done.

"It's okay, mommy." Francis says, sitting up to place a kiss on Bucky's cheek.

Bucky smiles at him. "I know, sweetie." He says, kissing the top of his head.

Bruce walks over to them from behind his computer. "Bucky." He starts. "If you want, you can step out of the room while I do this. You don't have to stay here." He says. "I know you're not comfortable with this stuff."

Bucky looks at him. He's right that he's not comfortable with a lot of this, but he doesn't want to leave his son. Even though he knows that he's in safe hands.

"Buck, it's okay you you need to step out of the room." Steve says before Bucky can say anything. "I can stay here."

Sighing, Bucky shakes his head. He doesn't want to leave his son's side, but at the same time it might be best if he waits outside.

"Actually, if you want my honest opinion, it might be best if you do wait outside." Bruce admits. "I don't know what... they had done to you, but for the sake of your mental health, it might be best for you to stay out." He says, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "I can tell you're becoming stressed while in here. Stress isn't good for the baby, and I'd hate for you to have a panic attack."

"Go on, mommy." Francis says. "I'll be okay. I got daddy, Spider-Man, and Bruce here. They look after me."

Bucky doesn't look too sure, but he knows that what Bruce is saying is right. He is stressed, and he'd hate to have a panic attack because of all this.

And Francis is right too. Steve, Peter, and Bruce will look after him and make sure he's okay. He knows they will.

Which is why he gives in, taking Bruce's advice in leaving the room. Francis will be fine. He's in good hands.

"Okay, fine." He sighs, giving in. "But if anything happens, please come get me straight away."

Bruce nods. "Of course."

Sitting down on the small couch outside the lab, Bucky sighs, rubbing a hand around his stomach as Reese starts kicking. And Bucky has no doubt that Reese can sense his discomfort, so unlike every other time the kid starts kicking, his kicks are a lot more soft.

Which as a result, Bucky finds soothing, and they're helping him to stay calm. It makes him feel better to know that Reese is trying to comfort him. Though even if that's not the case, he's going to choose to believe that it is. It just makes him feel better to believe that, so he's going to keep on believing it.

Barely paying attention to anything around him, Bucky nearly jumps in fright as he notices Tony standing there staring at him. And he's got no idea how long the guy has been standing there for.

"T-Tony." He starts, unsure of what to say to the guy. They're still not on good terms at all after all....

He's not expecting any niceties from the guy, so he's expecting whatever to come out of Tony's mouth to be negative and hostile towards him.

"Barnes." Tony nods. "What are you doing in this part of the facility?"

Bucky looks behind him towards the door of Bruce's lab. "Bruce is running some tests on Francis." He says, looking down, not wanting to look at Tony. "To find out if he has anything."

He really hopes that Francis doesn't have anything. Well... anything aside from the obvious superhuman strength. It's already been established that he has that, and hopefully that's all he has.

"Why aren't you in there with him?" Tony asks. "He's your son. I would've though you'd be in there too."

Bucky shakes his head. "Bruce had suggested that it would be best for me to sit this out." He says. "He doesn't want to risk me having a panic attack."

"You having a panic attack?" Tony asks. "How bad is your PTSD?"

Bucky looks up at him, surprised to have heard the obvious concern in Tony's voice to say anything. Tony actually voiced concern for him? Did he hear that right?

"Just as well you sit this out then." Tony says. "Don't want you to get violent and hurt someone."

And there's the Tony he's come to know while staying here....

Although he does happen to agree with Tony about that. He doubts that he'd get violent during a panic attack, but there's the slight possibility that it could happen. After all, sometimes he'd get violent to try and get free when Hydra had him strapped down to their machines. The bad memories he has associated to those might bring on some violent tendencies if he was to panic.

"You might be right." He sighs. "I don't know the full extent of how bad my PTSD is."

He really doesn't know the full extent of how bad it is. All he knows is that after all that has happened to him at the hands of Hydra, it's pretty bad.

"Well, at least we agree on something." Tony mutters just loud enough for Bucky to hear.

"Tony." Bucky sighs, figuring now might be as good as any to try and apologize to him. If the guy will listen.... "I'm sorry."

Tony looks at him, confused, but doesn't say anything.

"I'm not going to pretend that I didn't kill your parents, because I did." He says. "I wish that I could take i back everyday. Along with everything else that Hydra made me do." He stops, sighing, before continuing. "Your parents have haunted my dreams every night, along with the faces of everyone else Hydra made me kill."

He doubts that the nightmares will ever stop, and quite honestly, he feels as though they shouldn't. They're his punishment for what he did. The only reason he wants them to stop, is for his children's sake. Otherwise he feels as though he deserves every one of them.

"Well..." Tony starts, seemingly trying to figure out what to say. "I..." He shakes his head. "I don't want to hear it." He says. "I don't like, nor trust you."

Bucky sighs, looking away. Of course Tony's not willing to accept his apology. Not that he expected him to anyway.

Though, what comes out of Tony's mouth next, leaves him rather shocked.

"Listen, I know it's not your fault what happened." Tony says. "But they still died by your hands." He shakes his head. "And I don't think I can forgive you for killing my mom... and my dad, but he was a dick."

Bucky can understand that. He can never forgive himself for what Hydra made him do. He'll never forgive himself for any of it.

"Tony." He starts. "This... this probably won't make you feel any better, but that wasn't the first time Hydra had sent me to kill your parents." He knows that this won't make him feel better at all, but he's got to tell him. "The first time was when you were a baby. The day you were born, I think. They sent me to kill your parents and take you with me. I still don't know what they planned on doing with you."

He doesn't risk looking at Tony. he doesn't want to see his reaction. "I guess there was still some of me left then, and I couldn't do it." He says. "They tortured me and did other things to me for hours after I returned and the mission was unaccomplished."

He stops, feeling as though there's a detail about that night he's missing, but he doesn't know what it could be.

Tony's quiet, and Bucky's not sure what to expect. He won't be surprised if that doesn't make him feel better in the slightest. In the end he did still kill Tony's parents after all, just not when Hydra had wanted him to.

But he still can't stop the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he's remembering that night wrong. There was definitely a newborn baby - that was definitely Tony - but there's something else about that night that he just can't quite figure out.

Something else happened that night, but he can't remember what it was. No matter how hard he tries to remember.

"It doesn't make me feel better." Tony says. "Not really anyway. You still killed them in the end." He stops, noticing that Bucky seems to be distracted by something. "What's up with you now?"

Bucky shakes his head. "I just have this weird feeling that there's something I'm forgetting about that night." He says, looking up at him. "Like I'm not remembering it correctly."

Something else had happened that night. He's sure of it. But no matter how much the thought is bothering him, he's not sure he wants to know what it was. Or if it would be a wise idea to go searching for what happened.

"Well... good luck remembering, I guess." Tony says, before walking off.

But Bucky doesn't pay it any mind. He barely even notices Steve making his way out of Bruce's lab, followed by Bruce, and Peter - who's carrying Francis. All he can focus on is the nagging feeling at the back of his mind that something else happened that night he was supposed to kill Tony's parents and take a newborn Tony Stark back wth him to Hydra.

"Bucky?" Steve asks, resting a hand on Bucky's shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Bruce is finished running some tests on Francis." He says. "You alright?"

Bucky looks up at him, before smiling a little. "I'm fine." He says. "How'd it go?"

He decides not to tell him about talking with Tony, or anything about the night he was supposed to kill Tony's parents. He'll talk to Steve about it later.

"It went well." Steve says. "We've just gotta wait for the results now."

Nodding, Bucky stands up, looking over towards Bruce. "How long till we get the results?"

"Shouldn't be any longer than a few days." Bruce says.

And Bucky feels like these next few days are going to draw out way too long for his liking before they can get the results back. But it'll hopefully be worth it in the end once they find out if Francis has anything.

"You want to stay with me, Franics, or do you want to go back to your mommy?" Peter asks Francis, as he walks over to Bucky - Francis still in his arms.

"Mommy!" Francis says, reaching out for Bucky.

Bucky smiles as Peter hands Francis over to him. "Hey, baby." He says, hugging Francis close. "Were you a good boy while Bruce ran his tests?"

"Yes!" Francis says.

"He was absolutely fine." Bruce assures him. "No problems at all."

Bucky nods, kissing his son's forehead, relieved that there wasn't any problems while Bruce ran his tests. "Good."

And all they need to do now is wait until they get the rest of the test results back. Then they'll find out if Francis has any side effects from his and Steve's serums mixing together.

But Bucky's now got another concern on his mind along with if Francis has anything due to the serum.

What had happened on the night he was really supposed to kill Tony's parents, and if something else really did happen, then what's preventing him from remembering?