Spiderling

If someone had asked Tony Stark if he had wanted children a few years ago, he would have laughed in their face. Tony Stark was a flirtatious, arrogant billionaire who cared for no one in the world but himself. He had no concept of responsibility. The idea of being a father was a terrifying one to him. Children were loud, annoying, and far too much responsibility for someone like Tony. There was too much of a chance that Tony would ruin a child, just like he ruined everything he touched. There was nothing he could care for that wasn’t destroyed just by exposure to him. Tony was terrified of being the same type of parent that his father was to him. He couldn’t do that to a child. No child deserved to have Tony Stark as a father.

That was a long time ago, though. Tony Stark was a different man. He had changed. He had almost died several times, he had stopped manufacturing weapons, he had become a superhero; a model and inspiration for everything good in the world. He had worked so hard to become someone better than the arrogant billionaire of his past. He still wasn’t perfect; far from it. He was a disaster. He struggled with severe PTSD and depression, he still relapsed when it came to his alcoholism, and he would sometimes spend days locked up in his lap without human contact. He wasn’t close to being a fully functional person and he knew that. The point; however, was that he was trying. He’d never tried harder at anything before in his life, but he was trying and he was improving. He was getting better.

The idea of parenthood was still a frightening one. It was still downright terrifying, but whenever Tony saw a family on the street or walked past a park where children were playing, he found himself wanting that. He longed for a family, for a child. Tony Stark wanted to be a father.

He didn’t know how to approach the subject with Steve. Some days, Tony was half convinced that his entire marriage to Captain America had all been some sort of dream or illusion that would fade away if he pushed too hard. For Christ’s sake, Tony had a crush on Captain America when he was twelve. He’d never expected to meet the man, much less marry him. He half expected Steve to disappear, which was the last thing that Tony wanted. He loved Steve more than he cared about himself and he didn’t know what he would do if Steve were to leave him.

Tony drummed his fingers against the dining room table, his leg bouncing underneath the tabletop. He was going to tell Steve tonight. He was going to tell him that he wanted a child. God, he was sweating. Why was he so anxious? This was Steve “Captain America” Rogers. Steve would listen to anything Tony had to say without judgment. He never judged him. Still, Tony was nervous. Maybe he wouldn’t tell him after all. Steve wouldn’t want to have a child with Tony. The very idea was laughable.

“Okay, what’s going on?” Steve leaned back, watching Tony closely. Of course, he was able to tell when something was up with his husband. “You’ve been fidgeting all night.” He leaned across the table to take Tony’s hand in his own. “What’s wrong?”

Tony clung to Steve’s hand for dear life, taking deep breaths. “Well-” He licked his lips as his mouth became unbearably dry. He could do this. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” He said hurriedly, feeling his palms sweat from where Steve gripped his hand tightly. “Something important.”

Steve’s eyebrows scrunched together in concern. “What is it, Tony?” He asked gently. “You know that you can tell me anything.” He gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Tony nodded quickly. “I know. I know that.” He closed his eyes and exhaled shakily. “Iwantachild.” He got the words out as quickly as possible, not wanting to linger on them. He just wanted what he had to say to be out there and done with. Now, all Steve had to do was shoot him down. Maybe he’d laugh at him and tell him what a ridiculous idea it was. Maybe he’d get angry and chastise him for having such foolish thoughts. Anything would be better than the deafening silence that blanketed them following Tony’s confession. The silence seemed to drag on forever as Tony kept his eyes shut, not wanting to see Steve’s reaction. He wasn’t ready for it.

“You...what?” Steve took his hand away from Tony’s. “Tony, look at me.” He requested gently. “Open your eyes.” Tony reluctantly did so, searching Steve’s face for a reaction. He found the softest, sweetest expression on Steve’s face. “You want a child?” He asked for confirmation, unsure if he had heard Tony correctly.

Tony swallowed and nodded. “Y-Yeah.” He was shaking with his nerves. “It’s okay if you don’t. I understand. Of course, I do.” He breathed deeply. “I just have been thinking about it a lot recently.” He explained, staring into his husband’s eyes. The more he talked, the more at ease he felt about talking. Steve’s face was reassuring and kind, showing no signs of judgment. “I want a child. I want to be a father.” He breathed and finally broke Steve’s gaze, staring down at the wooden table.

“You’re sure?” Steve asked, reaching over to take Tony’s hand in his own once more. “You really want that?” When Tony nodded, Steve broke into a grin. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, Tony.” He admitted, squeezing his husband’s hand.

Tony’s head snapped up in surprise. “You do?” He asked, blinking in bewilderment. “You don’t think it’s stupid?”

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “No. No, Tony. I don’t think it’s stupid.” He reached across the table to cup Tony’s cheek. “I would love to raise a child with you.” He smiled at him so warmly. “You’d be an incredible father.”

Tony felt himself tear up. “A good father?” He echoed. “You think so?” He took a deep breath and leaned into Steve’s touch. “You’d be a wonderful father, obviously, but me?” He quickly wiped the tears from his eyes.

“Tony, look at me.” Steve rubbed small circles on Tony’s cheek with his thumb. “I think you would be an incredible father. I really do. I think we’d both be great parents.” He kissed his forehead gently. “I think we should talk about it more, but if we both decide that we’re ready, a child would be perfect for us.”

Tony could hardly believe the words he was hearing. Steve wanted to raise a child with him. Steve thought that he would make a good father. Tony’s heart melted in his chest. He was finally getting the chance to be a parent. He swore to himself that he would be a better father than his own father ever was. His child would know nothing but love and support from their family. Tony would make sure of that.