I am in our bed, just lying there. Restless.
Thinking to myself “was it something I did or said?”
Did I maybe ask too much of you?
No, I didn’t.
My affection instead got abused.
I simply asked that you put me first.
I simply asked that you be honest with me.
But you couldn’t do that.
I can’t blame you.
I can’t blame him.
My feelings were the only one to blame.
I gave you everything.
My whole being and heart.
We were supposed to be together forever.
But now we are apart.
You are not alone.
But I am all alone.
I am a good person. Right?
I am honest and have always been with you.
There is nothing I won’t do for those I love.
I am utterly confused.
What went wrong.
Trying not to cry, trying to be strong is taking everything I have.
How could you and him do this to me.
Was it that easy to forget everything that was me?
Did you not find it hard to cast me aside?
If it was me, why didn’t you ask me to change?
Why did you lie to me?
Why were you dishonest with me?
It's funny, even now I still love you.
Can you imagine how easy a heart can be broken?
All it takes is lies and lies after lies.
I can’t stop thinking about the good times we had.
About all the memories and first everything we ever did or had together.
Best times of my life and it makes me sad and broken.
Knowing that those times are now all in the past.
Will I ever love again like I did you?
Or I am destined to be left alone again?
The thing is I don’t want to love another.
I only want you.
Why is it unfair?
Why wasn’t me that you picked?
You said you loved me. And will always do.
Why didn’t you stick with that?
I know I am not perfect, but I just wanted you to be honest with me.
I tried to understand.
I tried to have less hold on you.
I tried to be supportive.
He was your bestfriend.
He was a piece of you. Your family.
But that’s where I went wrong.
I am so torn and stuck.
What should I do?
Do I fight for you?
Or do I give up?
How do I move on from this betrayal?
I don’t want to let you go.
But I should.
I just wish I knew it would end like this.
It’s hurt so much.
Because in the end, you picked him.
I am all alone and thinking of us.
You are with him thinking about the future.
My heart feels used.
Don’t know what to do.
I am so confused.
Now I get it, his line never ended.
But my line has ended.