“If I risk it all
Could you break my fall?
How do I live? How do I breathe?
When you're not here, I'm suffocating
I want to feel love run through my blood
Tell me, is this where I give it all up?
For you, I have to risk it all”
Cause the writing on the wall”
——--
Korra had expected to get a call from Suyin regarding Kuvira at some point after the former dictator had been sentenced but what she hadn’t expected was it to be so soon. Sitting on the airship, she replayed Suyin’s somewhat frantic voice over and over in her head. She recalled waking up from her sleep to a call from Suyin apologizing to the avatar and asking if she could visit Zaofu to help Kuvira. The matriarch didn’t explain why she needed to be there but the urgency in her voice made Korra’s heart drop.
God, you know why..
Korra hadn’t spoken to Kuvira about things other than business during the Guan situation. The only time she had been truly intimate about her private life with the former Great Uniter was when Kuvira had surrendered in the spirit world. Other than that, there was never any visible bond between the two. They hadn’t even been partners in the beginning and yet here Korra was, nervous to face her former enemy. It wasn’t that she was nervous that Kuvira would attack her or something (Korra had not much doubt in the fact that Kuvira was truly trying to change). It was a type of nervousness that made her stomach churn and her heart flutter.
Korra had tried to deny that she knew what she was feeling because she knew the possible consequences. And she knew that her former enemy shared none of her absurd feelings. Not that they were feelings, the avatar only thought she was attractive, that’s all. It still baffled Korra, she didn’t even know how they came to be. Korra knew that Kuvira was attractive, possibly not conventionally attractive, but oh she was so beautiful and yet handsome at the same time. She had noticed the former guard during her first time in Zaofu but she never had a proper conversation with her. Sometimes Korra thought what might’ve happened if she got to know Kuvira beforehand.
Soon enough her thoughts were interrupted with a message that they were five minutes from landing in Zaofu. Korra took a deep breath and she nodded. She could feel a lump in her throat form as she watched Zaofu from the sky.
———
“Korra! It’s so nice to see you again!” Suyin made her way up to the descending avatar and gave her a hug. A small whisper made it out of Suyin’s mouth, “though I do wish it were under different circumstances.”
Korra gave Suyin a small smile once she let go of the hug, Korra’s heart was still beating with nerves. A concerned look made it onto Korra’s face, “so..what’s going on? You sounded worried when you called?”
The grey haired woman nodded and led Korra by the arm to the Beifong estate. “I didn’t want to tell you over the phone since I didn’t want it to become a whole big thing. Zaofu most certainly doesn’t need that right now.” She paused as if she were thinking. “Also because..” she stopped walking and leaned into the avatar, “I’m not sure if I can trust Kuvira’s words.”
If Korra’s heart could drop more, it must have fallen about twenty feet. Korra had been weary of Kuvira when she had first been let out of prison, but who wasn’t? She was a war criminal who committed monstrosities. She had not only committed war crimes but she had murdered the father of Korra’s best friend. At the thought, Korra felt her heart beat more, a sense of guilt overflowing her mind. Korra shook her head and the thought immediately disappeared, she had to keep up with Suyin.
Once the two women arrived in the estate, Suyin led them to her office before heading to Kuvira's bedroom. The matriarch sat on the couch and Korra took this as a note to sit down as well. She began, “Long story short, Kuvira had been wandering around the gardens when she butted heads with one of my current guards..” Korra stayed silent, letting her continue, “at first kuvira wasn’t very talkative but I thought she would open up over time. I truly want to try again and I thought that she did too, though I guess I was wrong. Instead, she began to shelter herself in her room, to the point where now she doesn’t even come out for meals!” Suyin let out a sight, her hand making its way to rest on her head. “Not only that but it makes me worried. Sometimes… sometimes I believe she might be planning or- or doing something she shouldn’t. Suddenly though, I saw her make her way to the gardens while I was doing paperwork in here. I kept watch but she disappeared after a while. I sent a few guards to keep a lookout but the next thing I know she’s rushed in here bleeding everywhere and unconscious! Not only that but apparently she had knocked one of my guards and injured him!” Suyin looked away from the avatar and Korra felt her chest tighten.
Korra nodded but nothing came out of her mouth. The thought of Kuvira bloodied and unconscious with another guard injured sent off alerts in her head. Something didn’t seem right and she became eager to help Kuvira. Korra stood from her seat and gave another small smile to the older woman, “could I see her now?”
Suyin nodded and looked back up at the avatar, confusion clear on her face, “you don’t have any questions?” Korra shook her head and Suyin understood that there was nothing else to discuss. She offered a guard to escort Korra but she waved it off. The avatar knew that she would much rather visit the former great uniter by herself.
———
Korra’s heart was long beneath the earth with the amount of times that it had dropped. This time she felt as if someone took it and gave it a harsh squeeze. Kuvira lay on her bed sleeping, bruises and cuts surrounding her entire body, a black eye, her hair cut to her neck, and bandages all over. Korra would’ve thought she was dead if she hadn’t walked closer to watch her chest slowly rise and fall.
That same nervous butterfly feeling that Korra had earlier made itself known again. Even while in such frail condition, the older woman looked absolutely gorgeous, and so calm. Snapping herself out of her daze, Korra took her jug of water and pulled a chair next to Kuvira’s bed.
Korra let her hand wander on the bed before taking Kuvira’s hand and attempting to wake her up. But to no avail, Kuvira didn’t wake up. Not wanting to awkwardly stare at the woman while she slept, Korra decided to heal the injuries on her face. Ironically, trying to heal the injuries on her face only made Korra feel more awkward. Here the avatar was, standing over a woman who she couldn’t stop looking at earlier. As her thoughts went on, Korra decided that she would have to heal Kuvira quickly or else she might fall in too deep.
———
After a while, Korra had begun to heal the bruises and cuts on Kuvira’s legs. As she was healing a cut on the older woman’s knee, Kuvira’s right leg moved away from the water. Korra immediately stopped and gasped, when she looked up at kuvira she found that the metal bender was squinting, trying to look at her.
Suddenly Kuvira jumped up and her breathing sped up, “who are you?!” The former great uniter winced in pain but that didn’t stop her from dragging a piece of metal from her desk and using it as a shield against Korra. The avatar got up and waved both of her hands to show that they were empty. She smiled and spoke softly, “Kuvira it’s just me, Korra!” Kuvira watched as the avatar made her way to the top of the bed.
“Oh.”
Korra’s brows furrowed and she looked down at the older woman, “oh?” she laughed quietly, without knowing why. “A ‘hello’ might have been a better start, don’t ya think?”
Kuvira looked Korra up and down and gave a soft smile. She was dressed in her usual attire, except her hair had been pulled into a small ponytail, a few stray hairs sticking out. Nonetheless, she looked enchanting, and Kuvira found her breath getting caught in her throat. Kuvira coughed and Korra’s once furrowed brows went up in alert, “woah! Hey, it’s okay..are you alright?”
Kuvira couldn’t find her voice but she nodded awkwardly. Once she did, she asked the avatar a question, “why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?..” Korra slowly let her answer out
“Why are you healing me?” Kuvira paused and pursed her lips, “don’t you have more important avatar duties to attend to? Or- or are you only fixing my injuries because you need my help?”
Korra frowned and felt compassion for the metal bender, “I’m healing you because Suyin called and asked me too.”
Of course Suyin called the avatar over
“And..” kuvira looked up at the brown haired woman, she hadn’t expected her to continue. “And, because I’m worried about you. I understand what it’s like to feel alone and like I said before, I understand. I know that I probably wouldn’t have made it out if it weren’t for my support systems. So that’s why,” Korra turned around and grabbed the jug of water, “that’s why I’ve decided to come and heal you.”
Kuvira raised an eyebrow, “so you could become my support system?” Korra nodded silently, now her breath was the one caught. Kuvira laid back down and nodded, “very well then, you may continue.” She motioned to her legs and Korra took the hint.
Korra continued with the healing session in silence. Both women didn’t want to speak, afraid of what they might say. At one point Korra complimented Kuvira’s jawline. The older woman blushed pink and the avatar smiled softly.
Let’s hope that I’m a good support system.
———
The days went on as Korra continued her healing sessions. At first, it was incredibly awkward, both women didn’t know what to do with each other. Anytime Kuvira smiled, guilt and regret welled up in her heart. Anytime the avatar healed her injuries, she would look away and scowl. She deserved them. Even through these thoughts, Kuvira couldn’t help but want to feel Korra’s love run through her veins. She wanted to be enveloped in a warm fuzzy feeling. She wanted to wake up every morning know that the strongest person in the world was her own. But Kuvira knew it couldnt be, she had made too many mistakes to be granted such a blessing; too many dangerous mistakes. She had commiteed atroities that she was most certainly not paying the consequences for.
Korra tried hard not to notice, but the more frowns she received the harder it became to ignore them. How could someone fall so deeply in love with someone they barely knew? Of course, she knew her story and how they were alike but in truth, did korra really know kuvira? What was her favorite food? Favorite book? Maybe even her favorite childhood memory? No matter how much Korra convinced herself, she barely knew Kuvira and yet here she was, thinking about risking it all because of how much she’s fallen. After most of the physical healing stuff was over Korra tried her best to help Kuvira mentally. At times, they would meditate, or kuvira would teach korra to dance, or even show korra her metalbending tricks. In Korra’s eyes she could see some light appearing in Kuvira’s eyes and everytime she noticed, it made her heart do cartwheels. Kuvira was still a tough egg to crack but Korra was determined, she wasn’t giving up, even if she knew the consequences.
“Is everything alright out here?” A familiar voice interrupted the two women who were sitting silently in the garden.
Korra looked back to find Suyin staring at them. “Dinner will start in about ten minutes, are you two going to attend?” Suyin raised her eyebrows softly and Korra gave Kuvira a look. The metalbender didn’t look at either of them but she nodded silently.
“We’ll be there! Just give us a few minutes,” Suyin smiled as she made her exit. Korra looked back at Kuvira to find her staring at the area where she had been found unconscious. Korra beggan to feel uneasy so she offered to head inside.
The raven-haired woman looked at Korra with a smile and shook her head, “I think I’m ready to talk about it.” Korra immediately sat back down and placed a hand on Kuvira’s arm. A smile formed on her face and Kuvira let out a deep breath.
To say the least, the story shocked Korra. Kuvira had gone on to tell how she was just aimlessly wandering in the gardens when a few guards began to pick at her and call her names. She talked about how she attempted to ignore them but instead of drowning them out, they only became louder. Out of nowhere, a guard earthbended the ground under Kuvira, making her land on her back. Kuvira–not wanting to get in trouble– tried her best to walk away. Every time she ran, the assaults became worse. It wasn’t until she decided to defend herself that things became bloody.
By the end, Kuvira’s breath had become shaky and tears began to fall. Korra tried her hardest not to invade Kuvira’s personal space but she couldn’t take the pain she felt in her chest. Korra embraced Kuvira and to the avatar’s surprise, the former great uniter embraced her back.
I’m sure it’s okay if we miss a few minutes of dinner
—----
It had been three weeks since Korra arrived in Zaofu, and now as she watched herself fold her clothes into her luggage, she felt her lungs burn. Korra wouldn’t sugar down the fact that she felt like she couldn’t breathe when she thought of leaving Zaofu; of leaving Kuvira. At first, Korra thought that she would be in and out and yet she managed to end up staying for three whole weeks. She had gotten calls from her friends in Republic City but she never truly mentioned how things were going in Zaofu. It hurt Korra to lie but she didn’t want to have to give any explanations over the radio.
A knock on the door interrupted Korra’s thoughts and she called out, letting the stranger come in. Once she turned around, she realized that it wasn’t a stranger, just the woman who had been interfering with her daily thoughts. Kuvira gave Korra a small wave as she entered the room. Both women stood silently until Kuvira decided to speak up.
“I hate to say it but I’ll miss you, Avatar… you have done nothing but wonders for me and I don’t know how I could ever repay you,” Kuvira smiled and walked towards the woman, placing a hand on her toned arms.
Korra felt her heart leap and a deep blush crawled onto her cheeks. She could feel the heat radiating from Kuvira and she couldn’t help but ignore all the warning signs going off in her head. Suddenly, the fear of risking her status and relationships didn’t matter. She wanted to breathe freely, not with a lingering feeling of a homoromantic ‘friendship.’
Korra jumped forward and wrapped her arms around the older woman. She sighed and let her head rest on Kuvira’s shoulder. It took the metalbender a while but soon she too embraced the avatar. After a moment of empty air, Korra spoke up.
“Kuvira…” she whispered, Kuvira leaned into Korra’s neck and let out a breath. Korra closed her eyes as she felt the hot air against her skin. Without any words, the once unspoken words were suddenly spoken. Kuvira was never one to cry a lot but suddenly she felt tears trailing down her face.
Korra chuckled and she leaned out of the hug, not once letting go of Kuvira. Korra looked into the other woman's fern green eyes and she knew that Kuvira was finally breaking her fall. There was no point in falling anymore, she had finally been caught.
“Do you trust me, Kuvira?” Korra whispered as she let her fingers wander up to Kuvira’s face. It was now Kuvira’s turn to chuckle. She smiled as Korra wiped her tears, forgetting about her own.
“Of course… How could I not?” Korra’s finger traveled from under Kuvira’s eyes to her lips. Another whisper left the avatar’s lips
“Can I trust you, Kuvira?”