***ENDGAME SPOILERS***
Random post Endgame drabble of an idea I had. Let me know if this is stupid or if you like it, I guess it has potential to be an actual story and not a one shot? For now just a one shot, I dunno. Review, please!
"Tony."
Her voice was distant, but he could hear it, faintly there, warm, light...familiar.
"Tony, look at me," she requested, brushing back his hair.
He wished he could feel it, but he couldn't. He knew, somewhere, that her hand was there...running over his head, fingers to scalp, but everything just felt cold and unresponsive. Sort of like he, himself, was.
"Huh?" he managed, swallowing awkwardly as he tried to turn his head back to her and focus.
But it was hard. He wanted to see her. Wanted to see Pepper's blue eyes, make out the soft smile she was giving him. He wanted to do more than hear her, but his sight was fading and blurred and it was a struggle just to make sure his lungs were moving. Everything hurt, like his body was on fire...probably the aftermath of the stones. He was only human...of course it would hurt him. At least he had her hand under his, even if it was through the cool metal of her suit.
Pepper watched him more intently than she ever had, and it scared him. But if it weren't for her...he wouldn't be as calm as he was right now.
"We're gonna be okay," she promised with another brush of his hair.
Okay?
His mouth parted slightly, dropping to question her, or tell her he loved her, but all he could do was stare past her, imagining her face if he couldn't make it out. Part of him knew the others were there...Peter was there, wasn't he? But they didn't matter at the moment. Only Pepper, and the picture of Morgan he had in his memory. If his suit worked, he would've had Friday pull it up on display, but even if it did, he couldn't ask for that right now. Physically, he was destroyed.
Briefly, his mind flashed back, like a million little things in front of him at once, triggered by Pepper's voice.
The dance, the balcony. The first time he saw her in that blue dress, the first time he let his eyes travel over her face as he realized how beautiful she really was. There was no reason for it - he'd seen her in dresses before. But the way she looked, blushing as he lead them on the dance floor... She wasn't just his assistant, she was his best friend, and he would not give up until he admitted her loved her, because waiting a decade already was long enough.
Their kiss, six months later, on the roof top. The way she held his suit, her arms around his neck. The lights from the city reflected in her eyes and he swore there was nothing brighter. He cursed himself when she left for home that night for waiting so long to kiss her.
Her smile, her laughter when he decided he was going to propose. When Happy held out that ring he ordered on their first official date, because he knew. Tony Stark didn't fall in love with just anyone. But it was her, and he knew it would always be her.
The way she nervously told him she was pregnant, not three months after he had come back to Earth. They had really wasted no time, that was for sure. But she was scared, and he hated himself for making her feel like she couldn't tell him, but when she did...the way she smiled at him, beaming up at him with her perfect white teeth, he silently promised in that moment he would make her proud with his unknown parenting skills.
But with the good came the bad.
Mixed in with those happy things were the times he let her down, racing back as though to haunt him. Her leaving bed after his suit almost went after her. Her leaving when he started working on the suits again, and when Ultron happened and he lost control of his tech. The disappointment when he originally asked if they could have a baby, back in the city in the park.
Determined to focus, Tony blinked and sought out Pepper's face, hovering just above his, but he was short of breath, and it was dark.
He wanted to tell her he was sorry. He wanted to make sure she knew he cared. He had always cared, even if it didn't seem like it. He had to protect her, and he'd known that for the last fifteen years. He had to protect her, and Morgan, and even if he made mistakes, that was always his end goal. And...she said they would be okay. So he'd done good, right? He kept his promise. He kept them safe.
I'll retire, he begged silently to say. I'll toss the suits, we'll move to an island somewhere. It'll just be us and Morgan and I'll stop being Iron Man. Pep, I swear, I'm sorry I'm an ass and I put you at risk, but-
But Pepper couldn't hear him, because he wasn't talking, because his body wasn't letting him talk. And it hurt.
"You can rest now," her delicate voice suggested, and as if she had control over him, he felt his tension start to let up.
It was over. He could stop fighting. He could stop being afraid, stop feeling haunted by that damn portal in New York, or by Thanos and his snap five years ago.
Pep, I don't want to leave you, he pleaded with himself. We finally have everything we've always wanted.
But the last thing he felt, unlike her hand in his hair, was her thin, warm lips against his cheek, just like he'd felt so many times after falling asleep on the couch at the lake house. That's it...he was sleeping. He was just falling asleep. He'd be okay in the morning. He'd tell her everything in the morning.
Only morning never came, only a weird, orange sunrise. There was water under his feet, and they were wet.
Looking down, Tony noted the lack of suit. It was gone, there was no metal surrounding him. Frantically, he searched his chest, unbuttoning a few buttons on his shirt before searching out his arc reactor, but there was nothing there. It was gone, he had no scars. Not even that nasty ring from the first implant.
His heart beat wildly, panic strong in his veins, until a hand on his shoulder made him nearly jump out of his skin. Breathless, he spun around in the couple inches of water on the ground, and that was the moment it all started to make sense.
He was dead.
"Tony..."
It was Nat, her hair braided and back, over a dark t shirt and pants. No SHIELD badges, no jumpsuits. No guns or batons or boots. Just bare feet and a content smirk that he hadn't seen since...
"Call this cliche," he started, heaving out a sigh. "But aren't you supposed to have like, wings or a fancy, glowing halo or something?"
"Who said I'm an angel?" she replied easily with a raised eyebrow.
"You didn't come back," he reminded her. "Isn't this-"
"Heaven?" she chuckled, shaking her head. "Not even close."
Blinking, Tony decided he didn't know if he wanted to find out what this really was. It wasn't where he was going, but it wasn't so bad, so maybe it was just an in between? Ah, who was he kidding? After everything in his life, surely he was going to Hell.
"Did we win?" he decided to ask after a moment of thought; it was all he wanted to know.
Carefully, Nat smiled a genuine smile and nodded slowly, assuring him they had succeeded. It was that one chance, the one Strange had seen. And he was right...if Tony knew, he wouldn't have done it, and it wouldn't have worked. They would have lost if he knew it meant giving up his family.
"Okay," he answered simply, lost in thought. "So...what now? Got a cheeseburger joint or somethin in this place, cause I gotta tell ya, using those stones, it really takes the energy right out of you, and I haven't eaten since-"
But his train of thought was interrupted by a shadow in the water at his feet. A visual, a video feed of some sort or something. It was Pepper. It was Pepper, in the suit, and she was crying. She leaned her forehead against something else, and he felt it instantly on his neck, like she was pressing against him. It was warm, there was pressure...
His hand flew up to where he saw her rest against his still body in the water, and it caught Nat's attention. She glanced at the ground, then at him, and her eyes narrowed.
"Stark?"
"I, uh..." he began, pressing his brow together in concern, his eyes never letting off of the water. "Is this live?"
"Like what, happening now?" Nat repeated, looking back down as she stepped to stand at his side. "It's happening in some timeline."
"There are others?"
"That's the one you just left," she shrugged. "You know how they say life flashed before your eyes in a near death experience?"
"But I am dead," Tony corrected, confused.
"Right..." she murmured, then nodded toward the picture in the water. "But here, you weren't."
As if on queue, the water displayed a video of the few nights before, when he had gone for juice pops with Morgan and put her to bed.
"I love you three thousand!" she celebrated cutely, hugging her blankets from her small, twin bed as he tucked her in.
"Three thousand..." Tony heard himself repeat. "Wow, that's crazy..."
"How are you doing that?" Stark asked, wide eyes shooting toward his battle partner in the orange haze.
"You can see whatever you want to see," she informed him. "I'm not doing anything."
Hurriedly, Tony tried to think of something in the future...something he wanted answers to to make sure he had made the right decision. He wanted to see Pepper again...but he wanted to see Pepper happy again. He wasn't ready to leave her yet...not without knowing she would be okay.
"Just be careful," Nat advised when she sensed his stress. "You might not like what you see."
"I need to know if she's okay," he muttered.
He watched as a photo of Pepper and Morgan watching his recording came up, Rhodey and Happy with them. It was the one he had recorded before they started building for the quantum realm and the whole time travel stunt. He didn't think he'd actually have to use it, but...
Morgan clung to Pepper, but she wasn't crying. She was...scared. Lost. Alone. God, he had failed as a parent. Just like his father...he'd left her.
He couldn't take it, so he focused on something else, until he found a photo of Pepper, tucking a maybe eight or nine year old Morgan into bed before closing the bedroom door. It was the same house...the lake house; he could tell by the frame on the wall next to her. And so could she, because when she glanced at the photo of the two of them hanging there, she closed her eyes tightly, then sunk to the floor in a silent cry, careful not to alert their daughter on the other side of the wall. She was still upset, years later...
"Does she ever-" Tony whispered, hurt in his heart and his eyes alert.
"Get over you?" his friend guessed. "Sometimes she's okay. Others, she's...not..."
"Morgan?"
"A carbon copy of her dad," Nat huffed. "Stubborn and head strong."
Tony blinked, moving on to a teenage Morgan, stuck in his garage with Pepper's helmet sitting on the counter top by the computer. She was prying into it, screwing something into place, and for a second, he was proud that she was taking on his hobbies. ...Until he saw her set down the screw driver and lift the helmet, securing it onto her own head and flipping up the face plate.
"No, Maguna, that's not for you!" Tony protested, stepping forward, but it just disrupted the water, and she vanished. "No, she can't put on the suit!"
"Tony-" Nat tried, but he was fervently searching for that last bit, ignoring her.
"Bring that back, I have to stop her, she can't-"
"Tony, it won't matter!" Natasha protested. "You can't go back!"
Whirling back toward her, Stark snapped, finally breaking his calm.
"Those suits killed me, and I'm not letting my daughter put herself in danger!" he hissed.
"Actually, this suit is the only way I could save mom."
The new voice came from behind, and water splashed into the silent, still air as Tony spun toward it. It was a female voice. She was in the shadows, still from a few feet away, the orange light reflecting from the shiny metal encasing her. He knew that armor too well...those lights too well.
Squinting, he took a small step forward and reached out, wanting tot ouch her but not sure if that was acceptable. "Maguna?"
"Hi, dad," the teenager replied smugly, but it just stopped Tony's heart.
"If...if you're here, then that means..." Tony struggled to conclude, but the girl in front of him...the future of his daughter...just shrugged.
"It had to be done."
"What?" Tony repeated, head tilted as he stepped forward again.
But Nat was on his heel, trying to hold him back with her hand on his shoulder, which he immediately shrugged out of.
"Tony-" she warned.
"No," he snapped, dark eyes solely on the girl in front of him. "No, Morgan, don't put on the suit, I told you to stay out of the garage, I-"
"You weren't there," she answered with a soft voice. "Mom needed me. Mom needed rescued this time, not you."
Tony was speechless yet again, lips pressed together with a pained expression. God, she really was her father's daughter, that's for sure. Or her mother's? Pepper was always saving his sorry ass. Yeah, she was definitely part of both of them.
"You would've done the same thing," Morgan added, and Tony sighed, frustrated with his daughter as she spoke to his heart.
"Morgs, I need you to listen to me, you can't suit up, you can't be-" Tony begged, but then she was gone, vanishing before his eyes.
Everything happening all at once was causing his heart to race. He was panicking, even in this weird half afterlife. He was honestly dead and having a panic attack. Only Tony Stark..
"Stark, you need to calm down," Nat instructed, squeezing his shoulder again. "You can't save them all."
"She's too young!" he shouted, turning back toward the agent in city clothes. "It's my fault, I built the suit. I have to stop her. I have to go back, I have to make sure she never works on it. I-"
"Tony, steady your breathing!" Natasha ordered.
But his heart hurt, and his lungs felt tight, and he gripped his chest with one hand, squeezing his eyes shut tight. He could feel his feet involuntarily shift backwards, stepping through the shallow water as he forgot how to breathe.
Pepper had promised they would be okay, but they weren't. Morgan said she had to save her. Pepper was in trouble. Morgan died in the process. It was all his fault, he was the one who left. He...
"Tony!" he faintly heard, Nat's voice somewhere far away now.
And when he opened his eyes, he nearly did a double take, spinning around to make sure he wasn't imagining things again.
It was the house. The kitchen, to be exact. The table was to his side, the kitchen sink across the room, and nothing looked any different than he had left it. His wedding ring was back on his hand, as though he had never taken it off for that fight, but when he lifted it to inspect, it went right through the table, causing him to jolt back and take a paranoid breath, stunned.
"That's new," he spoke out loud.
But he wasn't alone, and this time it wasn't his daughter, it wasn't Nat, it was...
"Tony?" Pepper asked, concern plastered across her face as she slowly stopped wiping water from a photo frame...the one of their wedding on the shelf by the dish cabinet.
Stark hesitated, staring directly at her. She was in full view. No lack of focus, just her crisp, defined facial features, her light red hair just as long as it was when he had left her. She didn't look a day older, but then again, did she ever?
Suddenly remembering she had said his name, he patted his chest down, making sure he was actually whole. To himself, he was fine. He could feel his clothes, he didn't go through himself like he did the furniture. So...was he still dead?
When his eyes flashed back up form his hands, though, Pepper was still staring, chest heaving. Okay, so something was up.
"Uh, hey, Pep," he tried, scratching his head.
He assumed she wouldn't hear him, and maybe she was just sensing his prescience? Yeah, that must be it. Maybe she could feel him there, somehow, and she was just talking to the air, kinda like he talked to Howard sometimes when he was making shit in the garage or the lab.
But he assumed wrong.
Her jaw dropped, her hands freezing, but opened just enough to let the photo frame fall to the ground, shattering into a hundred pieces at her feet.
Okay, so maybe she could see him.