It was alarming how easily he walked into the compound. No one questioned him, no one checked him, he just opened the gate and entered. Once he would go back, he would have to discuss it as a serious safety protocol negligence. On the other hand, he was Captain America. He was no intruder and was allowed to come in and out as he pleased.
Steve walked the familiar hallways, taking in the atmosphere of home. Sometimes he ended in the middle of busy New York in the Avengers Tower, sometimes in the calm area near the woods where the Avengers compound was located. It was comforting to know that the team stuck together no matter what.
His team. His friends. His family.
Natasha and Clint in the living room, discussing some movie. Steve held back an urge to run to them and squeeze Natasha in a hug. Instead, he waved to the agents friendly, getting the same gesture back from Clint and a bright smile from Natasha. Wanda and Vision in the kitchen, busying near the oven, tomato sauce splattering all over the white counters. Steve wondered if they were already dating or if they would even start.
He reached the elevator and took the ride down to the underground floors. More corridors, more familiar paths. He had no problem to put his code in, the numbers always the same. The day and month he had kissed Tony for the first time. It was equally comforting and frightening. Comforting when he thought how good it was that he and Tony were together in every universe, frightening when he remembered how things went back home for him.
This was always the hardest part. Stepping into the workshop. The familiar chaos of uneven stacks of documents threatening to fall over, the piling junk and discarded projects. And in the middle of it all was Tony.
His Tony.
“Hm?” Tony slid the goggles up, keeping them on the top of his head when someone interrupted his work by cuddling to him, hands wrapping around his waist. “Hi honey, your meeting ended already?”
Warm. Real. Breathing. Steve buried his nose into the short hair on Tony’s nape, inhaling the scent of car grease, coffee, and metal. He wished he could bottle it and keep always with himself.
“Uh, Steve?” Tony asked when the other didn’t answer. “Baby, you’re squeezing me kinda hard,” he said, a little winded. Right. Steve loosened his hold. He had to keep his emotions in check.
Tony took this moment to turn around, facing Steve with a loving smile, his smile dropping after he saw Steve’s face. “Woah. Ross chewed you out again, huh?” he asked in a compassionate voice.
Steve smiled weakly. It was true and he felt very tired and it showed on his face. Tony put his hands over Steve’s neck and drew him closer, their foreheads gently touching.
“Wanna play hooky for the rest of the day?” Tony enticed, rubbing Steve’s nape gently. “We could order pizza or something. Just you and me, hiding from the rest of the world. How does it sound?”
It sounded beyond wonderful. It was the best idea in the world. Steve would give anything to go with this plan. Just… He didn’t have anything to give. He couldn’t stay. He needed to go.
“Let me look at you,” Steve asked in a whisper, minimally moving away and framing Tony’s face with his hands. Sparkling brown eyes showing a brilliant mind. Dark lips promising the sweetest kisses. All gone.
Sometimes, Tony had blue eyes and black, almost raven hair, fair skin and was nearly his height. Sometimes, he was stoic and had a cold businessman aura around himself, but was the sweetest person with the most mesmerizing bright eyes, resembling pieces of amber. Sometimes, Tony was a woman with long flowing hair tied in a messy bun and full lips. This Tony was small, almost petite in comparison to him and had unruly brown hair and chocolate brown eyes and spoke in a low, warm voice. Almost like his Tony. It was always hard to walk away, but this time it was exceptionally hard.
“Are you okay?” Tony asked, frowning adorably. He could tell that something was off. He always could.
“I am fine,” Steve replied, telling a smooth lie, smiling contentedly. He moved away further and took out an envelope from the inside of his jacket and put it on the workbench, Tony’s eyes following the movement. He knew what would happen next. It always did. “I am gonna make some lunch for you and come back and then we can read it together, okay?” he said in a voice he hoped sounded encouraging and turned around. He had to get out while he still had enough of will power to do it.
“Ah, Steve wait!”
When Tony ran to him and threw himself in Steve’s arms, locking their lips in a kiss, it wasn’t a part of the plan. Yet, Steve followed, putting his hand on Tony’s back and holding him, the other hand cradling the back of brunet’s head. Sweet. Comforting. It was home.
“Don’t make me wait too long,” Tony whispered after the kiss ended, brushing his fingers over Steve’s sharp jawline. Steve only nodded and walked out. Tony tilted his head to the side and watched his soldier go. He took the letter in two fingers and looked at the closed envelope. It was tempting to look inside, but he decided to wait for Steve to come back.
Just as he walked in, he had no problems with walking out. Steve stopped at the edge of the forest, looking back at the compound, sadness, and longing clear on his face and in his posture. “Good luck,” he said, meaning the other him and the new Tony he had met.
14 000 605 possible outcomes of the battle. In one they won, paying a terrible price. Steve didn’t know if the number of loses was equal to the number of realities, but if he could warn other worlds and prevent what happened in his reality, it was worth a shot. He wasn’t Captain America anymore. He became a Nomad, always searching, always moving from place to place. It was the life he chose to not let Tony’s sacrifice become meaningless in the multiverse. To not let anyone else go through the heartbreak he was enduring every day, in every hour, in every minute. It was the path he chose for himself.
And maybe one day he would find a home. Maybe there was some place for him, somewhere out there.
Just he couldn’t rest yet.
Steve took a deep breath and pressed the time travel GPS bracelet on his wrist, ready to enter the Quantum realm, disappearing from one reality to appear in a different one and repeat the same pattern over and over again.
He felt he owed this to the memory of Tony Stark, the Earth’s best defender, his best friend, and the lost love of his life.