Soulmates

He had just finished pushing a towel through his newly sheared locks when he heard the small knock at his door.

“Hey,” he said, offering her a soft smile as he beckoned her inside. “Come on in.”

She stepped in swiftly, waiting for him to close the door behind her before holding out her arms.

He wrapped his arms around her eagerly, drawing her into his chest and breathing her in.

“Do I still smell like…?” She trailed off, her green eyes wide as she gazed up at him.

“No, Tasha,” he said gently, nuzzling his head into hers, her still damp hair brushing against his cheek. “You smell like you always do, with a hint of coconut shampoo."

She smiled softly.

“Do you want to talk?” He asked.

“There are ears and eyes everywhere,” she told him, her eyes still wide on his.

He nodded. “There are a lot of Avengers home tonight,” he agreed. “Okay. Do you want to come back to my place?”

“Will it be any less crowded on the farm?” She asked, wrinkling her nose.

He pressed his lips together in a stiff grimace. “I meant my apartment,” he said quietly.

“Oh. Right,” she said. She swallowed hard. “I keep forgetting.”

He took her hand, rubbed his thumb across her knuckles in a familiar, soothing gesture that had always calmed her before. After a moment, he felt her fingers squeeze his.

“It’s not far from here,” he said. “Brooklyn. A couple of stops on the A train. Unless you want to get a cab.”

She looked up at him. “Subway’s fine,” she replied, adjusting the hooded sweatshirt on her shoulders and pulling the zipper higher.

He couldn’t help noticing that it was an old gray hoodie that belonged to him, but somehow always found its way to her room. He didn’t say anything out loud, but he knew she’d noticed his observation.

XXXXX

She was silent as they rode the elevator up to the eighth floor. He could feel her watching him as he dug around in his pocket for his key and flicked on the light before ushering her inside.

Her eyes swept over the modest space as he pointed out the kitchen and bedroom. “Bathroom’s down the hall,” he said, gesturing with his hand before leading her to the small living area. “Do you want something to drink?”

She shook her head, eyeing the new sectional sofa.

“Have a seat,” he said, but she remained standing.

“How long have you been here?” She finally asked.

“About eight months. It’s a one year lease so I guess I’m going to have to decide soon if I’m staying or not.” He shrugged. “I don’t know, I kind of like it.”

He folded his arms across his chest, watching her carefully. “What do you think?”

“Ummm… it’s a lot,” she said. “A lot to take in.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“Clint. What happened with you and Laura?”

He breathed in audibly through his nose. “We just… decided to go our separate ways.”

She raised an eyebrow. “After fifteen years of marriage?”

“Maybe it was coming for awhile, and neither one of us saw it at first.”

She was quiet again, her eyes searching his face for the things he wasn’t telling her. “Come on,” she prodded.

“Enough about me. How about you? How are you doing, with everything….?”

“Clint, you can talk to me,” she whispered.

He sighed. “After…. what happened, I – I guess I didn’t handle things.”

“You mean you spent every waking moment looking for a way to bring me back and she was tired of it?”

“Something like that.” He frowned. “Tasha…” He took a step closer to her, reaching out a hand and brushing her hair back behind her ear.

“I told her about your sacrifice. About how we… h-how we got the stone. And why I was able to take it.”

Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hand, her fingers starting to shake.

“Nat…”

“You mean it’s my fault?” she whispered.

“No. No, I didn’t say that.” He took another step closer to her.

Her eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t pull away. “How is it not? I broke up your family.”

He cupped her face in both his hands, his eyes steady on hers. “No, you didn’t. If anything it was my fault.”

She looked up at him, her eyebrows drawing together. “How so?”

“I couldn’t do the one thing you asked me to,” he said with a small smile, leaning his forehead against hers. “I couldn’t let go of you.”

She closed her eyes, bracing her hands on his shoulders. “Who else knows?”

“Just the guys. Steve, Tony, Bruce, and Thor.”

She nodded. “So it’s out then. The secret’s out.”

“What secret?”

She lowered a hand to his chest, breathed in before answering. “How we feel about each other.”

“I don’t really think it was that much of a secret,” he murmured, his thumb softly stroking her chin. “But do you want to talk about it now?”

“I never wanted to come between you and your family,” she whispered.

“I know,” he whispered back. “You didn’t. It just is what it is.”

“Does she hate me?” She asked tearfully.

He shook his head. “No. Never.”

“Does she hate you?”

“No. It was a little rough at first, but we figured things out,” he said gently.

“Do you still love her?” She said meekly, her voice catching on a sob.

“Very much,” he answered softly, his thumb now tracing her lower lip. “But Nat, I…”

“Don’t,” she whispered, her lips shaking as a few tears spilled.

“Okay.”

“Did you- did you talk to the kids?”

“Of course we did.”

“Are- are they okay?”

“Yeah. The kids are fine.” He wrapped his arms around her and she leaned into him. “I know. It’s a lot to process right now. But keep in mind we’ve had a year to adjust,” he murmured, his face close to hers.

She nodded, taking in a shaky breath.

“It’s going to be okay, I promise,” he whispered into her ear.

She closed her eyes, her face pressed against his and he turned his head, placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

She looked up at him as he brushed her tears away with his thumb before returning his hand to her waist and she slid her hands behind his head, locking her arms around his neck as she gazed up at him, her tongue darting out to wet her lips.

He tilted his head forward, searching her expression before closing the short distance between their faces and pressing his lips softly to hers.

“I love you,” he whispered, drawing her in closer.

Her hands broke apart to caress his temples and touch his face. “I love you,” she whispered back. “So much. More than I ever thought I was capable of loving another person.”

“Nat,” he breathed, his hands in her hair as he bent to kiss her again, holding her body close against his. “What is it?” He asked when he felt her tense.

“Clint,” she said softly, her hand running down his chest. “I- I don’t know how to do this with you.”

“I have some ideas,” he answered, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

She giggled, swatting his shoulder. “I was being serious.”

“I know,” he said, carefully loosening his grip on her. “Okay. Let’s go do something we do know.”