Soulmates

“It’s exactly as you left it,” He told her, unlocking the door to her former private quarters and nudging it open with his foot.

She was silent as she took it in, her eyes roaming over every single shape before she walked in.

He watched her silently, deciding not to say anything until she made the choice to break the silence.

“I need to take a shower,” she said finally, her eyes connecting with his.

“Alright.” He nodded. “Bruce and Thor are staying in their quarters tonight. And you know my room is right down the hall. We’re all here if you need us. Don’t hesitate.”

She shook her head. “Stay. I’m not done with you yet.”

He sat down slowly in a chair, his eyes never leaving hers until she turned away of her own free will, backing into the tiny bathroom.

He waited until he heard the water turn on, knowing full well that she only took three minute showers. He studied her personal space, his eyes sweeping over her desk, slightly messier than he’d remembered it, but untouched for a year.

He stopped, picking up the sole framed photo in the corner, his eyes crinkling when he realized it was a selfie the two of them had taken well after the New York mission, when everyone had gone their separate ways and it was just the two of them again.

For a moment, he was lost in his thoughts and memories, until the seventh minute when his heart began to pound and he leapt up from his seat in sudden panic, making his way to the bathroom in less than three strides.

“Natasha?” He called loudly, trying to keep the panic out of his voice. He sighed in relief when he heard the water turn off.

A moment later, she reappeared in the doorway, dressed in an old standard issue S.H.I.E.L.D. tee that he was pretty sure had belonged to him at some point and a comfortable looking pair of cotton shorts. Her damp, two toned hair was pulled back in a messy braid that she was toying with.

“Sorry,” she murmured. “I just… needed time to wash away all the bad stuff.”

He nodded. “It’s okay,” he murmured back, hoping that she would believe him.

She stepped closer to him, still toying with her braid. “Do I still smell like death?” she asked in a small voice.

“No,” he assured her, pulling her into his embrace. “You never did,” he promised when he felt her arms go around his back.

“Actually…. you smell perfect,” he murmured as he took her in. “Like you.”

She managed a small smile and he raised his hand to still her fidgeting fingers at her hair.

“I guess I didn’t keep up with the whole hair dye thing during those five years,” she explained. “The red grew out.”

He smiled. “I kind of like it,” he said, combing her bangs back behind her ear. “It suits you. Reminds me of the firecracker you are.”

“Clint….. why am I back?” She looked up at him with teary eyes.

His hand moved to cup her face. “I guess…. I couldn’t let go after all.”

“I mean… how?” she asked, her voice nearly a whisper.

“We created a stone to heal you, and we went back for you.”

“I know all that,” she said, waving her hand before placing it firmly back on his shoulder. “But, Clint….. you gave me a part of your soul?”

He blinked back his own tears, swallowed the lump in his throat before speaking. “It was yours anyway,” he said, his voice cracking as he ran a hand through her hair.

Without warning, she pulled him forward, nearly tugging him off balance as she embraced him fiercely and he could feel every part of her body pressing against his as she buried herself in his chest when he hugged her back. “You’re going to be okay,” he whispered into her ear.

“And you?” she whispered back.

“I have everything I need right here,” he assured her. He started to pull back a little when he realized he’d almost backed her into a wall, knowing what her boundaries were and not wanting to crowd her, but she yanked him back, wanting to be surrounded by him.

“I can feel you inside me,” she said shakily. “Like you’re a part of me.”

“Guess we really are soulmates now,” he murmured, his heart slamming embarrassingly in his chest.

“I would’ve done the same thing,” she told him, looking up at him and locking her eyes on his. “If it was reversed, and you were the one who ended up down there. I would’ve searched every second of every day until I found a way to bring you back.”

“I know,” he whispered. He searched her face with his eyes, the emotion he found there traveling to his very soul, the one he’d let her take a part of and suddenly it was all too much, her damp hair against his cheek, her breath on his neck, the firm grip of her arms around him and her hands on his back as he pressed her body into the wall with his and then he couldn’t help it. He was kissing her, his mouth molding eagerly to hers.

She gasped slightly before kissing him back and she wasn’t gentle, her lips and tongue pressing needily against his in a desperate attempt to get him everywhere.

He growled softly against her, lowering his mouth down her neck, kissing and sucking her with all the heat and passion he’d ever felt for her as his fingers slipped between her t-shirt and shorts.

“Clint,” she nearly moaned as he kissed her. “Clint, wait…. stop,” she murmured, pressing her hands against his chest to get some distance between them.

He backed away instantly, his hands held up in surrender. “I’m sorry,” he said, his lower lip trembling and his hands shaking slightly. “I’m sorry….”

She shook her head. “It’s not that. It’s just… we can’t. You’re married.”

He looked at her dumbly for a moment, taking a few deep breaths to get the oxygen flowing back to his brain. “I’m not,” he said after a minute.

“What?” She asked, gazing at him as if he had four heads.

“I’m not married,” he repeated. “We got divorced last year.”

She sucked in a breath, covering her mouth with her hands in disbelief as she tried to understand. “You… you just gave up? On your family?” She whispered.

“No!” He shook his head vehemently. “I didn’t give up on anything,” he urged. “We just…. found another way.”

She nodded slowly, gazing at his bruised lips with furrowed eyebrows, her hand pressing against her throat where his mouth had been just moments before. “I- I – c-can’t…” she stammered, her breath coming out in fast gasps and for a second he wondered if she was panicking.

“It’s okay,” he murmured soothingly, reaching out to grasp her arm.

She took a step back, moving out of his grip and circling out of his space. “I’m sorry,” she whispered as her tears finally started to spill. “I can’t do this right now.”