Escaped

You were in Bucky’s guest bedroom, which had quickly become your bedroom. You had discovered Spotify and rediscovered your love for theater. You were in your room, belting along to one of the albums you had found you loved. It reminded you of something, but you couldn’t figure out quite what.

Bucky was stood in the doorway, a goofy smile on his face, his arms crossed over his chest.

“What?” you asked, pausing the music.

“Maybe you were a singer before HYDRA,” Bucky suggested, stepping into the room.

“Yeah, sure, Buck.”

“I’m serious,” he said. “We don’t know exactly what time you were born, so it’s a possibility. You have an amazing voice, it could be true.”

You smiled. “You really think?”

“Yeah. I really think.”

“I think you’re crazy,” you said, smiling.

Bucky picked up your phone and looked at the album playing. “Fiddler on the Roof? Is that the one Sam introduced you to?”

“Yeah. I really like it,” you said. “I don’t know why, though. Something about it just… I don’t know.”

Bucky set his hand on your shoulder. “I get it. I do think your voice is beautiful, though.”

“Thanks, Buck.” You picked at your nail. “Hey, do you remember the first job HYDRA sent us on together?”

“No,” Bucky said, sitting next to you on your bed. “I’ve worked hard to block that kind of stuff out.”

“Well, that’s okay. Because I remember. They sent us to Belgium so you could keep an eye on me, train me. It was cold. We didn’t have a room to stay in, we camped out in the woods. I was shivering in the snow. You pulled off your coat and wrapped it around me.” You smiled at the memory, rubbing your wrist with your metal hand. “You smiled at me for the first time. I tried to give you back the jacket, you told me to keep it. Said you liked the cold anyway. It was the only time you showed any personality around me.”

“Are you saying I don’t have a personality?” Bucky said with mock offense.

You laughed. “Well, not then. Self-expression was a luxury HYDRA denied us. But I have to say, your personality now is glowing.”

Bucky laughed and nudged your shoulder. “Thanks. But you didn’t talk about the mission itself at all.”

“Because that wasn’t what was important. That wasn’t what stuck with me through everything HYDRA did. Through all the countless mind-wipes, the torture, everything. That memory clung on like a piece of Saran Wrap.” You shook your head. “Even when HYDRA forced us all to be terrible to each other, I still remember that one little thing from Belgium.”

You were driving a motorcycle down a long, winding road. There was no one but the car in front of you. Your mouth was covered by your mask, but the rest of your face was still clear. HYDRA’s only mistake that night.

You sped up until the car came into view. The girl was hanging out the window, laughing in the cool summer night while the boy drove. Buddy Holly blared on the radio and the girl whooped as they rounded a bend, her curled hair blowing in the breeze.

You sped past the blue car and cut in front of it. The car screeched to a halt.

“What the hell, man?” the boy asked, poking his head out the window.

You pulled your helmet off and pulled your gun from the holster on your hip.

“(Y/N)?” the girl asked, her eyes wide.

You froze for a moment.

“Where have you been?” the boy asked. “We’ve been-”

You raised the gun and fired twice.

You bolted up in bed, panicking. You fumbled with the switch on your lamp, your hands shaking. You finally flicked it on after knocking a water bottle off the stand. You pulled your knees up to your chest and tried to control your breathing as you fought back tears.

“(Y/N)? What happened?” Bucky ran into your room and knelt in front of you. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re home, you’re safe. It wasn’t real. It was just a dream.” He slowly lifted his hands up and wiped the tears from your face. “You’re alright.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Bucky asked when you calmed down. He was still rubbing your back soothingly. You had your head rested on his shoulder.

“They knew me,” you whispered. “They recognized me. Who I was before. They seemed happy to see me. And then I-” You shook your head.

“It’s okay,” Bucky said, rubbing your arm. “You don’t need to give any details you don’t want. I get it.”

You decided to go down to the apartment complex’s gym to work out some of the frustration you had from choppy flashbacks. You were taking it out on a punching bag, careful not to go too far and break the bag. You didn’t need the other people in the gym asking questions.

“Hey, you’re Barnes’s girl,” one of the girls at the gym said, walking up to you with her friend after you stepped away from the bag. “You moved in with him a few months ago, right? I can see why he fell for you, you’re pretty.”

“Oh, my gosh, could you imagine how cute their kids would be?” her friend says.

“I-I’m sorry, who are you? What are you talking about?”

“Oh, they would be the most gorgeous beings in existence!” the original girl said, ignoring your questions.

“Uh, excuse me? Again, what are you talking about?”

“You’re dating Bucky Barnes, aren’t you?”

“What? No, no, we-we’re just friends. I needed a place to stay until I could get back on my feet, and Bucky offered me his spare room. End of story.”

“So, he’s still single?” the friend of the first girl asked.

“Uh, I think so. He hasn’t told me otherwise.” You looked around. “Well, I’m gonna go. It was… nice… talking to you.”

“So, when are you going to tell (Y/N) you’re totally in love with her?” Sam asked Bucky.

“What? I’m not- no, I’m not in love with (Y/N)! What-what makes you think- why would you-”

“Man, chill,” Sam laughed. “It’s obvious. You make goo-goo eyes at her all the time. Surprised you haven’t started drooling when you stare at her.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding, Buck. But seriously. It’s obvious you’re crushing on her hard.”

Bucky sighed. “Just… don’t say anything about it to her?”

“Don’t worry, man. Your embarrassingly crippling crush on (Y/N) is safe with me.”

“It’s not crippling!”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself, James. Whatever you need to tell yourself.”

Bucky unlocked the apartment and was bombarded by you wrapping him in a hug.

“Hey, you. What’s this for?”

You were smiling like crazy, your eyes bright with tears. “I know who I was! Well, most of it. I know my last name, I know where I lived, I know where and what I was when HYDRA took me, I know when that was. I know when my birthday is. I remember!”

Bucky smiled at you. “That’s wonderful. I have news, too. Remember when I said I could try to get you an upgraded arm instead of HYDRA’s technology? Well, I got the confirmation today. We can finally get you a better arm, get rid of all HYDRA’s crap in that pretty brain of yours.”

“Oh, gosh, this is really the best day ever,” you said, practically skipping your way to the kitchen. “Want something to drink?”

“No, I’m good,” Bucky said, taking a seat at the table. “I’d love to know about your recovered memories, though. How’d you figure it out?”

You hopped up on the table, a can of soda in your hand. “Well, I’d just had a really interesting conversation with some of our neighbors at the gym and was on my way back to the apartment. And I just had this-this flood of memories, you know? It was like there was some dam set up in my mind and it just burst! I’m (Y/N) (L/N), I grew up in Manhattan, I was born in 1919, and I was a showgirl on Captain America’s war bonds tours.”

“Really?” Bucky said, leaning forward in his chair. “You were on the tour with Steve?” He laughed. “Man, that suit was ridiculous. And the helmets? So tacky.”

You laughed, setting your can down. “Yeah. One of the girls lost hers, and we found out later that Steve had used it when he went to break the 107th out from HYDRA’s facility.”

“Wait, he used a prop helmet? That fucker better be glad he’s an old man now or he’d be getting a punch in the face.”

“Wait, he’s still alive?” you asked.

“Yeah. He lives in a lake house in upstate New York. We thought it was the best way to keep him out of trouble.”

“Ah.”

“So, do you have any more memories?”

“Yeah. I know when HYDRA took me. It was 1946. Everyone was getting back from the war.” Your face dropped. “Almost everyone. But I went out to get some eggs for my ma and they took me. Right off the street, too. But that’s about all I remember from that.”