Marvel One-Shots and Imagines [Reader-Inserts]

(A/N: This is a commission for the lovely  TheStealthFox)


You sighed, tossing your motorcycle helmet onto your reclining chair. It had been a few days since you had seen that weird man and you had almost forgotten about him completely. You shook your head around, trying to make your hair go back to how it normally was. After you did that,  you walked into your small kitchen, looking around for something to eat. You didn't have a lot to eat, never stocking your pantry well. You didn't think that you needed to so you never did...

In the end, you decided to make some pasta and eat it. You didn't have any sauce for it, but you didn't mind. You were hungry and you had eaten worse in your lifetime. You started to boil the water and put the noodles in, tapping your foot impatiently. You didn't want to have wait for it to cook...You were really hungry now! You sighed, slumping down in a chair by the table that was in your kitchen. Time seemed to go even slower as you waited for the pasta to cook.

After what seemed like an eternity, the pasta was finally finished cooking. You poured it into one of your green bowls that were almost as old as you were. Your parents bought them and when they sadly passed away, you took them. They didn't bring up sad memories like many people would think. To you, they were just bowls. It wasn't like they meant anything to your parents...Your mother just liked the color so she bought them...That was it...

As you walked back into your living room, you heard a strange noise. It sounded like someone was in your living...You set your bowl filled with pasta down on the table and grabbed a knife, ready to fight the intruder if you had to. You slowly walked around the corner, gripping the knife tightly. Your eyes widened at what you saw in your living room; the sight almost causing you to drop the knife that you were holding.

The man from before was lounging on your couch, looking around your apartment. He was still wearing that red and black suit, causing you to wonder if he ever took the suit off. Once you walked into the room, knife still in hand, he turned to look at you. You assumed that he was smirking under his mask that was keeping you from being able to see.

"Hey! Nice place, you got here! I mean, it's small and there isn't much in here but that kind of suits you. Not that you're not much, I'm not trying to say that you're boring...I haven't been around you long enough to be able to see if you are actually boring or not..." He said, flinging his arms back to rest on the back part of your couch. He looked like he was presenting himself to you. That was a thought that made the heat rise to your cheeks.

"What are you doing here?! How did you get in my house?! How did you even find my house?!?!" You yelled, gripping the knife in your hand tightly. After the fight where you first met this man, you decided to never see him ever again! You really wanted to just throw the knife that was in your hand and embed it in his skull. The only good thing about this dude was that he was a good fighter... That still didn't make up for how annoying and obnoxious that he was!

"That stuff isn't important...Plus we got this cool thing called the internet that I can use. It's this really cool place where you can find all kinds of secret information that you thought was hidden. Even S.H.I.E.L.D agents information isn't safe from me~!" He laughed, sitting up instead of slouching back like he was before. You sighed and set the knife back down, grabbing your bowl of pasta. You sat down, though you made sure that your knife was close to you, in case you needed to grab it. Something might happen that would cause to you stab him in the eye. Who knows.

"So, I was wondering if you would want to go out with me to go and get some chimichangas or something. I mean, I'm really hungry and really need some food so I don't go around deading people on an empty stomach. Name's Wade by the way..." He said, looking toward you. Didn't he tell you to call him Deadpool last time? This guy was really inconsistent. You didn't care what he told you to call him though...All you wanted was for him to leave your house and your life.

"I already have food." You said, taking a small bite of your pasta. It felt sticky and a bit mushy, but you didn't mind. Food was food, right? Wade looked toward you, trying to see what you were eating. Under his mask, he made a face when he saw the bland food that you said you were eating...

"You're really eating that?! That isn't food! That is what they feed people in prison! Believe me, I know! You should come down to this truck thing that serves the best tacos! Well, when I say that it serves the best tacos, I mean that they are pretty good. I've had better but these are the best around here...." He rambled out, looking at you as if he was waiting for you to answer him. You just sighed and rolled your eyes. He kept rambling and you just blocked his voice completely out.

After a few minutes, you decided that you couldn't stand to have this man in your house anymore, rambling around something that you didn't even care about. You wanted to be alone and eat your pasta but he was standing (more like sitting) in your way. You weren't going to stand here and let him ruin a perfectly good night for you! You stood up and walked over toward him. This seemed to grab his attention because looked up at you, not speaking anymore.

"I see that you want to get closer to me. Feel free to sit down here~!" He purred out, gesturing toward his lap with what you could only guess was a perverted look on his face. You were actually glad that he was wearing that mask because you didn't have to deal with seeing him make that kind of face at you.

"No..." You said, grabbing the front of his suit and forcing him to stand up, "I am making you get out of my house!" You started to drag him toward the door, ready to throw him out. The entire time you were dragging him, Wade was whining and babbling like a baby. You think that he was saying something like how he didn't want to leave and how technically it wasn't your house, it was an apartment that you were resting from someone other than yourself. This just made you even more annoyed. You were surprised that smoke wasn't coming out of your ears like in the cartoons.

Once you got to your door, you opened it up and threw him out. You slammed the door shut once he was out and let out a huge sigh. When would you ever get rid of this guy? He was just so annoying and he leaves you alone! Couldn't he see that you didn't like him? He was like a stupid, persistent puppy that couldn't be calm at any time! He should be able to see that you just wanted him to leave you alone!

As you sat back down and you were ready to start eating again, your phone buzzed. You picked it up and saw that it was a text from Fury. He said that he needed you for a fight and you had to leave now. You groaned and picked up your helmet, putting it back onto your head. You realized that you wouldn't be able to eat your pasta for a long time...