He did it for you
Pepper was sitting on the couch in the chill corner in the workshop. Tony took his place next to a small table, so he had a bottle of brandy in reach of his hand. He wasn't pacable type and when something was seriously wrong Tony just shuts himself up, making it almost impossible to get any information out of him. Somehow, Pepper was the one who always knew how to handle that. This time was no different and Tony told her everything. Starting with setting the scene by describing his and Bruce's trip to the desert. Then he illustrated the Banner's confession with every tiny detail he remembered. And finished the story by describing Hulk vanishing beyond the horizon. Tony tried to act as if he didn't bother but couldn't stop his voice from breaking.
Pepper listened closely with wide-opened eyes fixed on Tony. Both her hands remained on her lips through the whole time Tony spoke.
"Yup, and... that's it. End of story." Tony grimaced with a drink in his hand. He shrugged having nothing else to say. Finally, Pepper let her hands lower on her thighs.
"Wow. Um..." She gasped. She shook her head slowly, still processing what she just has learned.
"Mind-blogging, huh? I hear you." Tony raised snifter to his mouth, but Pepper took it out of Stark's hand before the glass reached his lips. Pepper gulped brandy down and give the empty snifter back. Tony raised his eyebrow.
"I needed one." She ran her fingers through her hair a few times. She breathed out as alcohol stang her throat and stomach with warm pinching.
"At your service." Tony smiled refilling glass with brandy.
"Honestly, I don't know what to say," Pepper admitted settling down on the couch, curling her legs under her body.
"Well, I guess there's nothing else to say. It's over. He isn't coming back this time."
Pepper frowned, running through her memories. "Didn't you really notice anything about Bruce lately?"
"Nuh-huh. Not a thing."
"That's odd..." Pepper mumbled, nibbling her lip with her fingers.
"Why?"
"Common... who's most likely to notice man fell head over heels with someone if not a woman?"
"Oh, right... You're the smart and I'm the ass. I forgot." Tony snarked, causing Pepper to roll her eyes.
"No. I didn't see anything either. That's my point." She explained. Tony frowned trying to understand what is she getting at.
"So you're implying he lied?" Tony guessed, all confused. "It makes no sense."
"Exactly! Did he say goodbye to anyone else? Maybe Tasha or Fury?" Pepper dwelled on the subject. Tony shrugged, sipping on the drink.
"I've got no idea."
"As far as my memory goes he was married to a woman. And from that time he hadn't dated anyone. Remember Tasha trying to hit on him? He brushed her off. Everyone thought it was because of Hulk. I didn't know he's that way..." Pepper carried on. Tony snorted at that.
"Who cares anyway?"
"I do care." Pepper stared at him with a serious look on her face.
"Wha- Why?" Tony's eyes narrowed, piercing Pepper. He shook his head. "Nevermind... Listen, it doesn't matter what are his sexual interests. I don't fucking care. I just lost a friend!"
"You're missing the point."
"What are you babbling about? Bruce is gone, Pepper. Can't you see? It's over! One day we're having a great time together, talking about science and life-and-death shit, we're conducting researches and creating amazing shit and the next day... Puff! He's gone! Like it was nothing! Like it didn't mean a damn thing!" Tony fussed. Suddenly, he felt a deep grudge. His emotions boiled his blood. Familiar heat overflew him, burning the shit out of his heart. How dared Bruce leave. Leave him. How Bruce could do such a thing, becoming his dear comrade and throwing it away out of blue? Tony hasn't met a man who understood him entirely, both emotions and science. Tony felt abandoned, given up on... bereft.
Pepper reached his hand and hold it tightly.
"Stop it there, please. You're missing the point." She said in a calming manner. Tony blinked, focusing on her.
"Why?"
"You're making it about yourself and it's not." Tony frowned and shook his head.
"I don't get it." He said. Pepper gave him a long meaningful look.
"I'm not questioning your words. You're all right, but... You see, if he loves as you said then he'd lost more than just a friend." She pointed out and Tony froze. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. He saw those brown teary eyes of Bruce again, starring at him. Closely, affectionately, mournfully... Tony cleared his throat, lowering his head. Pepper waited him out, holding his hand.
"And you know?" She continued. "I think he did it for you."
Tony put the snifter down to rub his forehead. "This is too much, Pepps."
"I might be wrong but I believe the reason he hid it from us 'cause he didn't want to mess up your personal life. He knew you have it already. And he cared too much for you to destroy your happiness."
"Ugh... So why did he tell me he loves me then?" Tony frowned at Pepper, all confused.
Pepper give it a thought
"Well... I guess he did for himself. Sometimes a secret becomes a burden too heavy carry on one's shoulders. Being sincere with you might be the closest he could get to you. And..." Pepper paused to bit his lip. "Maybe he didn't want to hurt you with leaving without explaining his reasons. It was an apology."
Tony sighed heavily. All his body was numb and, surprisingly, Pepper's touch felt unpleasant. Tony untangled his hand and reached for the drink to mask an awkward sensation.
"Yeah... You may be right." He forced himself to admit, before knocking brandy all the way down. He clenched both his hands around the glass.
"That's alright Tony. He made his decision the best he could." Pepper kissed Tony on the temple and curled up next to him. Tony gazed out the window in silence. Now he understood, but... it felt like something important was missing. His chest felt cold and heavy as if someone put a boulder on his heart. Damn, he already missed Bruce...