I’m so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears.
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
Two years had passed. Two years since she last saw Tony. Since she last held him in her arms. Since she was able to assure him that it’s okay to have his much-needed rest. And two years, since she was able to kiss him, though it meant goodbye.
The years had been long, dragging, painful, and unkind. Not that she’s new to it when she’s already experienced them from time to time. Especially when she and Tony had fights, when she broke up with him, and that one time when he had to go to space, leaving her wondering if he’ll ever come back, at all. But they were proven temporary. Something that a band-aid can easily fix.
But not this. This time, there is no kiss and make-up after a fight. No reconciliation after a break-up. No more do-overs. And no more coming back. Tony is no longer coming back. The once almost permanent fixture in her life, gone. Leaving her tired and broken. Exhausted by the mere idea of existing in this world. But she needs to move on. She needs to get going. She needs to fight, even if it meant fighting alone.
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
It was Morgan’s seventh birthday. Everything went out smoothly and according to plan. Cause that’s where Pepper is good at. Ensuring everything turned out the way they are planned. It was until they reach their home and Friday asked her and Morgan to proceed to the living area.
Pepper barely got hold of her gasp upon seeing a holographic figure, standing in the middle of their living room.
“Daddy!”
Pepper got out of her momentary stupor and watched her daughter run excitedly towards her dad.
“Boss had pre-recorded a birthday message for little boss,” Friday explained. And when she sensed the sudden distress in Pepper, “I can have it played some other time – “
“No, it’s okay Friday,” Pepper assured. “You can play it now.” She walked towards the sofa and settled down besides a very eager Morgan.
“Hey Morgoona! Happy birthday sweetpeas! I’m sorry if I wasn’t there in person. I guess life happened. Buuuut!!!! It’s the thought that counts right?” Tony said and smiled adoringly at her daughter.
“By the way, do you remember that one time when you snuck to my workshop and got my present for your mom?”
Morgan nodded vigorously at that.
“Well.. If you would go to your room, I may have left a little present –“ Tony’s voice faded into the background as Morgan started to run towards her room and retrieve the aforementioned present.
“Mommy!!! Look!! Daddy made me one too!” Morgan screamed as she waves the Iron mask Tony made specifically for her.
“That’s really beautiful honey,” Pepper enthused.
“I need to show this to Peter! He’s gonna flip!”
“Morgan!”
Morgan simply giggled at her mom’s mild reprimand and went back inside to her room once more.
Pepper could only smile and shake her head at her daughter’s antics. She gave Tony one last look before deciding to retire for the night when,
“Hi Pep,” Tony spoke once more. “Assuming that Morgan is over the moon with my present, which I’m sure she is. After all, it came from her dad whom she loves more than anything else in this world. She may be in her room right now. Playing with her present or I dunno, bragging about it to her friends. Cause that’s certainly what I’d do when I receive one.”
Pepper giggled at that, realizing how accurate Tony’s assumptions were.
“So it’s been what, three years now? God I hope you’re not watching this. Not that I do not want you to see this or even think of the possibility that you may not see this. Ok I'm hardly making sense," Tony scratched his forehead as he tries to relieve the frustration showing up on his face. And with a sigh of resignation, "But. If. You know. I never really returned, I really hope this reaches you. And when it does, I hope you are in a better condition now. Because, that’s all that I could really wish for. Three years is already a long time to grieve and mourn. So yeah. It’s time for you to be happy again. In fact, I expect nothing more but that at this moment.”
Tony smiled at her, the way he always does for her. “I love you Potts. In this life and beyond.”
As she watches Tony fade into the background, tears started to spill down her face. Alone and not a soul to see her brokenness, Pepper cried and yearned for what she used to have and will never have again. Her Tony.