Chapter 3
The time went too fast, of course. Carol made them breakfast in the morning. Rindy and Therese pored over the postcards. They finished the half of the country Rindy had neglected, Carol helping her find the states she struggled with while Therese assisted in coloring them. Harge showed up at ten minutes before six, which was better than Carol expected, frankly. He’d been known to arrive an hour early.
Rindy and Therese were in Rindy’s room, putting a few misplaced items in her bag. This forced Carol to invite Harge in while he waited. He hung back near the door and they listened to the quiet drone of the TV, Rindy and Therese’s voices down the hall.
“Congratulations,” Carol said stiffly. “Really.”
Harge made a small noise of acknowledgement. “Thank you.”
They’d shared a life for ten years. He knew her ‘really’ wasn’t all that sincere, and she knew that he knew it. But Therese had pointed out the night before that perhaps this was a good thing. If Harge was happy, he may be less inclined to make them miserable. Carol wasn’t sure on that yet, but she knew some things. What he’d said last night, about her knowing if he meant to punish her. Rindy’s obvious affection for this Lilah person.
He was building a new family. He might well want to cut away the old, or this new girl might, Carol didn’t have the first clue about her.
Carol wouldn’t let him keep Rindy from her anymore than he already did, wouldn’t give him reason to. If that meant forced civility, well. Forced civility was the backbone of the last few years of their marriage.
“What are you doing for Easter?” Harge asked.
Carol blinked. “I’m not sure yet,” she said, careful. Therese hadn’t accompanied Angie and Steve to church since the snowstorm, but they’d still been invited to the Martinelli’s holiday feast. Carol thought it more likely that they’d wind up at Abby’s place, visit her and Rose. She wouldn’t tell Harge that. Much as he claimed to have moved on, Abby made sure to remain a sore spot. “I suppose it depends on what you’re doing.”
With Rindy.
Harge eyed her. “Brunch at the house.”
He said nothing else, but Carol heard it in his tone. “With Rindy.”
Harge nodded, barely. They held gazes. Down the hall, Rindy laughed at something Therese said.
Carol closed her eyes, let the disappointment, the bitterness wash over her.
“It’s Lilah’s first holiday as part of the family.”
Carol kept her eyes closed, hummed a response. If she did anything more, things would turn bad. Worse.
“Come to brunch. If you don’t have anything else to do.”
Carol opened her eyes, confusion overtaking some of the hurt. “Say again?” Easter was unusually early this year, falling on the first of the month. She wondered if this was some sort of bizarre, premature joke.
“Brunch. Easter.” The words were tinged with irritation. Harge stuffed his hands in his pockets, not looking at her. He feigned interest in one of Therese’s photographs that Carol insisted they get framed, hung on the wall. “That’s new.”
“You haven’t been here in a month,” Carol said, a reflex answer as she struggled to grasp the situation. “Brunch. With you and the secretary.”
He refocused on her, rolled his eyes. “With Lilah, yes. And Rindy.”
Carol stared at him, unable to voice the most obvious of questions.
“You don’t want Rindy with a stranger, so come meet her,” he said, like the words were slightly painful in his throat. “We haven’t had a holiday together in years.”
Carol did not point out any of the many, many reasons for this. “Does the sec—does Lilah know about this?”
“No, Carol. She doesn’t believe in the Easter Bunny, that only works on Rindy, so I thought I’d surprise her by inviting my ex over.”
His sarcasm almost made her laugh. “Don’t let Rindy hear you about the Easter Bunny,” she said, checking Therese and Rindy were nowhere in sight. “Was this her idea, or yours?”
“If you don’t want to come, then don’t.”
He’d love that. Telling himself, and whoever would listen, that he’d given her chances to see Rindy and she’d brushed them away. “Will your parents be there?” Rindy was the strongest of lures, but to be sat at a table with the elder Airds and Harge’s young, pregnant wife, that was the sort of cruel and unusual Carol didn’t think she could bear.
He laughed, a short, controlled sound. “God no. We’re having dinner with them later.” He paused. “You could take Rindy after brunch, if you wanted, if you can get her to school on time the next day. I’d just as soon have her miss those fireworks.”
Carol hadn’t thought about John and Jennifer’s reactions, which was odd, since they dictated so much of Harge’s life, had dictated so much of hers. “Oh dear God, Harge. You’re not going to tell them the same way you told me?”
“They know,” he said, one hand leaving his pocket to run through his hair.
He suddenly looked very tired, and Carol almost pitied him, having to deal with that kind of shitstorm. Almost. “I’m not leaving Therese here on a holiday.”
“Bring her then,” he said, dismissive. “Rindy won’t want to eat her ham anyway, what’s one more person?”
“What does Lilah know about Therese and I?”
“She knows that inviting you means setting two extra places at the table.”
“You’re not going to tell her I’m a lesbian over green bean casserole, are you?”
“No. I was going to wait for coffee and donuts to do that.”
It was flat, lacking any real bite. She stared at him long enough to see his mouth quirk. It was something like the boyish half-smile she hadn’t seen in years, the one she’d loved once. She laughed, at the absurdity of the situation, at the fact that he used to be able to make her laugh so much more, and here they were now.
He laughed too, without malice. It was a brief, surreal moment. “I’ll talk to Therese
He nodded. “Okay.”
Carol didn’t know how to process any it, didn’t have the time. Rindy appeared, finally, jacket and backpack in place. Therese emerged from the hall, but hung back, much the way Harge never strayed far from the door as they spoke. Rindy hugged, said her goodbyes, did the same to Carol.
“I love you, darling,” Carol said, holding her tight. She could smell Rindy’s shampoo, tried to hold the scent, the feeling.
“Love you, Mommy.” Rindy pulled back, smiling big. “Mommy, I’ll be a big sister soon!”
Rindy’s excitement was as fresh as the other twenty times she’d reminded Carol of this. “I know,” Carol said. “What a lucky little baby that is, to have a sister like you. Be good for Daddy, sweetheart.”
Rindy said she would. Carol half-expected her to add Lilah’s name to the promise, but she didn’t. She ducked past Harge and asked if she could go hit the elevator button.
“As long as you wait to get on,” he said, and Rindy dashed off ahead, to the end of the hall. Harge lingered on the threshold. “Let me know by next week. We need to figure out how much food to get.”
“I’ll call you,” Carol said, still barely believing what they were discussing.
He shrugged, starting to move away from her. “Just tell me next week.”
“Next week?”
He stopped, half-turned. “Friday. When I drop her off. Unless you have something else?”
She did not, would’ve cancelled it if she had. “No, Friday’s fine.”
“Fine.”
That was it. He walked away with quick strides to meet Rindy. Carol shut the door, leaned her back against it. “Jesus.”
“What?”
She’d spoken to herself, almost forgotten Therese was there. “I, don’t even know,” she said as Therese came forward.
“What?” Therese repeated, stopping in front of her. “You look sick.” Therese grazed Carol’s cheek with he back of her hand, as if checking for fever. “Carol?”
“Something Harge said.”
Therese looked worried and protective suddenly. “He’s married and having a child. What else could he possibly have to say? He’s not changing the custody agreement?”
“No.”
“What then?”
“He’s asked us to spend the holiday there.”
“There?”
“At his place. With him and Rindy and the knocked up rodent.”
Therese stared. “Oh,” she said after a long stretch of moments. “Well, that explains why you look sick.”