Chapter
Tony remembered dying. It had hurt so much more than he ever thought it would, and not just physically. He finally had something to live for, and he couldn’t. He was back in 2012, on the eve of The Invasion and what was he supposed to do now? Pretend he hadn’t left everything back in 2023, and struggle with a Pepper who hadn’t been through everything with him, hadn’t even lost Phil yet, who couldn’t even begin to understand a fraction of what he’d gone through, or cope with his sudden to her PTSD? She’d promised him he wouldn’t be alone again, but he would never tell her any of it, he couldn’t do that to Pepper. He would save Phil and make sure they had a great life together, but after that… He would stop Thanos from destroying everything, even if he died doing it. After that maybe he could rest. Tony could vaguely hear Jarvis (he’d loose him again too, wouldn’t he?) saying something, but then a glass shattered and he had an armful of Pepper and he realized that she hadn’t lied. He wasn’t alone. Pepper remembered and he wasn’t alone. Someone was speaking to him on the phone, Phil if he remembered correctly. He felt a chill go down his spine.
“Morgan, where’s Morgan?” Tony asked Pepper, somehow not completely panicking. Yet.
“Sir, Miss Potts, I am detecting an unusual energy signature in the penthouse suite, and Agent Coulson has just arrived.” Unusual energy. That was either bad or good, and Tony hoped to hell that it was the latter. He didn’t want to have to face losing his daughter at the expense of the universe. He’d made that choice before, for better or worse, and he would do anything he could to make it again.
“Mr. Stark, this is an urgent matter-” Phil stopped, but his eyes were scanning the two of them for any noticeable injuries “Is everything alright? Has something happened?”
Tony hugged Pepper tightly before standing up. Phil had never seen either of them this uncomposed, and probably never would. He and Pepper had too many secrets now, too much baggage. He cleared his throat. “We’re fine Phil, just a bit of a shock. This is about the Tesseract, right?” Tony knew he hadn’t been as smooth as he’d hoped, but he was just hoping to get Phil out as soon as he could. He had to get to the penthouse. He had to know.
Phil’s sudden look of relief startled Tony. That was new. And unusual. “Oh, thank god. You’re back too. I thought it was just me.” Phil smiled at the two, and looked ten years younger. As Phil opened his mouth, the elevator dinged behind him and he paused, turning around.
“Daddy? Mommy?”
“Where are we?”
What.
The.
Fuck.
Morgan was dressed in her pink nightgown, and rubbing her eyes, but that wasn’t surprising, she loved pink and it was way too late for her to be up. A young boy was holding her hand and he looked like…
“Peter?” Pepper stepped forward towards the children, and kneeled down to meet them face to face.
The boy nodded and yawned. “Mama, I’m tired. Can you daddy read me a bedtime story?”
Tony was frozen to the ground. Peter. Peter was here. Peter was young and he was here and he called Pepper mama, was he daddy? Tony wanted to know what the hell was happening, but ultimately he decided the more important thing was putting his kids to sleep. Kids! He had two now! And they would grow up as safe and happy as he could manage, and damn it he was Iron Man and he could manage a whole hell of a lot. With an honest smile on his face he knelt and picked Morgan and Peter up.
“Let’s get these two to bed, but I think we’ve got a lot to talk about.” He said to Pepper and Phil. He could feel the kids falling asleep in his arms, and smiled down at them. When he looked back up, Pepper and Phil nodded, not wanting to wake the children. “Give me ten minutes.”
~~~~~~~~
It took him eight minutes to put the kids down in his and Pepper’s bed, but he almost didn’t want to leave them. Pulling himself away, he snuck to the bedroom door and closed it softly. As he stepped into the elevator, he smiled again, and looked at the ceiling. “Let’s get some coffee going J, this is going to take a while.”
“Of course sir. Shall I place an order for takeaway as well?” God, Tony had missed Jarvis. Friday was great, but Jarvis had years of learning and experience on her.
“Sure, let’s get the usual from whatever Chinese place is still open.” He walked out of the elevator, and joined Pepper and Phil who had made themselves comfortable on the couches. He should think about getting new ones really, more indestructible. Maybe Stark Industries should get into the home décor business? He’d think about it later.
“Tony what’s going on, you just died, are we in some sort of afterlife?” Pepper asked, hunched over her knees.
“You died?” Phil looked startled and then nodded as if realizing something. “I came back when I died, it makes sense that you both would as well. Did you both die at the same time? What happened?” Pepper looked startled at that and turned to Tony.
“I don’t think I died Tony, I just remember everything turning black. Where are we?” Tony swallowed heavily and sighed.
“To put it plainly, we’re in Stark Tower in 2012 the night before The Invasion. We aren’t dead, well not anymore, and-” He looked down at his feet and continued “And this is all my fault, I’m so sorry. I didn’t ask for this but she gave it to me anyway.” For the first time in years he wished he had something to drink.
“Tony?” Tony didn’t look up. He didn’t want to see the looks on their faces. He’d never gotten to know Phil properly, but any amount of censure would hurt. Pepper’s would undoubtedly kill him. He pushed on, ignoring Phil. He needed to get this all out. Or he never would.
“So it turns out that my nickname was never just a nickname. The Merchant of Death. When I was born I- she, I don’t know… She picked me I guess? Death I mean, she wanted me.” He huffed out a harsh laugh and forced himself to keep his feet on the floor. “When I died, she stopped me from moving on. She’s done it before, in Afghanistan, New York, with Killian, Siberia, my entire life, she’s been sending me back. But this time…When I used the stones, they left a mark on my soul. That’s what she told me, and it’s how we ended up here. Thanos wrecked so much havoc in the universe that balance could never be restored. Not after everything, there was too much damage and the universe was collapsing because of the stones. But she told me, if I could stop it before-” Tony let out a shuddering breath. “If I could stop it before he got the stones, then it wouldn’t happen. She told me it wasn’t my time yet. And that I would never be alone again.” He rubbed his eyes viciously. “I’m so sorry. I’ve brought you two back and I brought Morgan and Peter back and now you’re both involved, and this wasn’t supposed to happen.” He lost the will to not hide, and brought his knees up to his chest. He hissed as they knocked into the arc reactor there, and let out a wet laugh. “And I’ve still got the fucking reactor, that just really takes the cake doesn’t it?” Ignoring the pain he buried his head into his knees. He’d forgotten when he’d seen his kids, but it was starting to come back to him exactly how badly he’d fucked this all up. He was getting warm, did Jarvis turn off the air conditioning? The heat was making it hard to breathe and he started gasping when he felt arms wrap around him, and he froze, how had he forgotten they were there?
“Tony…” It was Pepper. To his surprise she didn’t start yelling at him immediately. She started humming. It was the same song she would sing to Morgan when she wasn’t feeling well. Tony let out a shuddering breath as she began to sing.
“If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, I'd hammer in the evening all over this land. I'd hammer out danger, I'd hammer out a warning, I'd hammer out love between my brothers and my sisters all over this land.” As Pepper sang, he could feel her stroking his hair and he uncurled slightly, pressing himself into her. He could feel Phil at his back, a warm and steady presence. By the fourth or fifth repeat of the song, he had stopped crying, and while not completely calm, was calmer than he had been. Pepper hadn’t stopped stroking his hair, but she’d switched back to humming. Tony huffed into her shoulder, feeling tired suddenly. Hopefully they won’t mind me napping, he thought as he drifted off to sleep.