Floof and Flerkens
If Goose was honest with herself (And why not?), she had to admit she was living her best Flerken life right now.
Case in point, the new pillow she was lounging on, something so soft and floofy it was probably illegal somehow... At minima, seriously decadent. Kid Angora/silk double knit covering eider down filled pillows, her pet had said when she inquired via Loki.
Tony was very good at non-verbal communication, but it lacked a bit on practical matter. Goose could hardly wait till the Trickster did as he was told and gave her pet Allspeak... And didn't really understand why he needed to be difficult about it since he was going to do as he was told sooner or later anyway.
Sooner would be good, however.
But Goose could be patient, and indulge the vagaries of the newly publicly revealed Jotun: After all, he'd just saved her pet's life, and at some cost to himself, too. Not that it had been news to Goose, she could smell the ice on the Mage skin, certainly not how Asgardian usually smelled.
If you asked her, Aesir smelled a lot like Ass, which was fitting in Goose opinion, specially for the noble class... And she was not that much into ass sniffing, that was dog behavior. The only thing you were supposed to do with that place was give it a thorough tongue washing now and then... And not put your nose in other beings privates.
Really, *dogs*...
Erhm, we digress.
So, to cut a much too long story short, her pet had underestimated one Kilian person brand of insanity. He had abstained to be an idiot on TV however, which, as JARVIS had pointed out, was made easier since there were no terrorists attacks this time around.
Which, good. But her pet had STILL underestimated how much the entitled cretin had it in for him. Goose huffed: Way to overreact at being blown off at a party, especially since her pet was accosted by people with "wonderful business opportunities" ALL THE TIME!
Even when he was supposed to pay attention to Goose, which, no. Seriously.
The billionaire had thought that with giving a job to one Maya Hansen, he was cutting off the madman, but, sadly, not so. Said cretin had kidnapped the scientist on the first day of her two weeks vacation, tortured her a bit... Which apparently gave the woman the extra incentive she needed... And voila, Extremis!
And then the deranged arsehole decided to kidnap Pepper Potts.
To which Goose herself was certainly opposed to, but was sadly not consulted on the matter.
First, her pet had been very distraught, and Goose certainly did NOT agree with that.
Second, Goose had to admit that Miss Potts was the perfect Queen for her pet.
Not that Goose likes to share her stuff, but one has to take the future of one's specie in consideration, after all. Preferably to better it, if possible. So, Pepper Potts had Goose stamp of approval to be her pet's mate, and the Flerken didn't really like the change of plans.
Colonel Rhodey was busy in the Middle East, and even if he came back as quickly as he could, the situation devolved rapidly.
Goose tried to help, of course, but even she had to admit to some limitations as she couldn't crunch more than a pair of the flamey people without severe heartburn. She liked her food spicy, for sure, but not THAT hot, thank you very much.
The situation was really getting dicey when Loki, who'd been walking Yggdrasil on the sly to warn the eight realms about Thanos, came back, took the situation at a glance (presidential pinata included), sighed and then proceeded to demonstrate that he was:
The Norse God of Fire (people always seemed to forget that one)
In possession of the casket of Ancient Winters (Surprise!)
Jotun from the royal line and still a Mage to boot. Supervillain or not, the Killian person and his little flamey friends were popsicled in thirty seconds flat, and blue was Goose new favourite color.
Of course she was there, don't be ridiculous. Not all the madman's friends were of the jalapenos variety, so Goose thinned the herd quite a bit. She even caught, stored in a spare pocket dimension... and spewed right at the feet of the Secret Services people when they showed up, a rare breed of human weasel, aka Justin Hammer, who apparently had been financing the crazy person.
And it was her pet's turn to sigh, once he was certain his mate was not going to explode. Goose surmised that the weasel had been up to no good too in the previous timeline, too.
And speaking about up to no good people, no word nor hair from Fury, during the whole hullabaloo.
Goose was going to meow very sternly at Carol, next time the woman touched down on Terra, for leaving her in the care of that waste of oxygen when there were MUCH BETTER options available. So yes, Goose had taken matters in her own paws and she was lording it as befitted any member of the feline diaspora... But that was not the point.
Carol should have known better than to leave in the care of (and Goose was generous there.) a second rate butler. The Flerken toyed with the idea to do away with Fury's second eye briefly, but she suspected her new pet would be annoyed, and since he was already quite stressed out with his Mate bouts of flamability while he worked hard to ensure she would not go boom, she decided to abstain.
Goose made do with resuming her poo boots campaign, a way to keep Fury (literally) on his toes.
Petty, sure, but satisfying. Also, she liked to keep an eye on him and his "associates."
She had no problem with Fury's Avengers idea (Except maybe for the silly name. Avenge what?). The Flerken was on her seventh life already. She'd certainly been around. She knew what was out there in the galaxy and the even bigger universe. Yes, Terra was considered sort of a backwater planet... which, in turn, got all the idiots with stuff to hide think it was the perfect hiding place.
T'was getting ridiculous at this point.
So yes, Terra was woefully unprotected. However, Goose didn't think the smartest course of action was to enslave, enprison and/or kill any individuals who showed capacities exceeding the "normal" range, aka the best suited to protect the planet. At best it would push the others into hiding, at worst antagonize a fringe of the population with superhuman qualities.
Talk about stupid reasoning.
Of course, all of that made sense once Goose learned the idea had originated with Rogers Mate, one Peggy Carter. She'd never met the second, but she'd made a point of keeping tabs on the first, and she was NOT impressed, to say the least.
If THAT was the best humanity had to offer, Terra was in a bad way.
Fury could rave all he wanted about "the pinnacle of human", Goose could smell the mixture of radioactive enhanced steroids on the man's skin. Her pet could rest easy about Goose eating that, she was certain he would taste foul.
The Grandmaster had used such enhancements when he'd build his first arena. It made for physically strong gladiators if that was you were looking for, but it did stunt and distort the brain functions.
Which was usually bad... Unless you picked an absolute idiot to begin with.
That German scientist had obviously stumbled on an almost perfect specimen. Beginner's luck, no doubt.
On top of that, he hurt her pet. Goose could feel the man tensing up everytime "the Captain" was mentioned. She knew Loki had picked up on it too. So yes, it was another version of him in another timeline, but it was the principle of the thing: Tony was hers now, and the patriotic lab rat better not touch her stuff.
Or else.
Thor was almost as irritating... But at least it came to him naturally, one could say. Her pet often compared the blond to a Golden Retriever. Yeah, dog... fitting, sadly. For someone like Loki, who displayed distinct feline qualities (the best!) to have grown up with THAT and been found wanting was a tragedy. But then Goose knew about Asgard and Odin... Even been there once.
She recalled the tacky gold look. Tasty for sure (she'd had a few chunks.), but so nouveau riche! And unpractical. Gold was a soft metal, only suited for snacks and showing off. Since Odin was not eating it, that left only the showing off part.
If Odin kept making a nuisance of himself (At least he'd stopped sending those silly ravens... or to be more exact, the ravens refused to come near the Tower after their brush with Goose. Smart birds, ravens) and being an idiot about the Thanos situation, Goose was going to make a family outing with her next litter. Let's see how his tacky palace fared against a couple hundred hungry flerkins, shall we?
Should be fun.
Wait, Flerkins??!!
Yup, Flerkins.
It was time, and more importantly, there was finally the right environment. Of her litter, Goose had been the one who got the wanderlust gene (there was always one, that's how Flerkens expanded everywhere)... If her new pet was amenable, Goose would love to tour the galaxies with him, could hardly wait to see what he would do with other worlds tech.
Yes, that was ditching Carol, but she ditched her first, so there.
And Goose liked smart people. Up to now, she had to make do with SHIELD, but that was not an environment where to leave youngs... Now, Goose could envision a bevy of ginger kittens making guard (and learning LOTS) with Pepper Potts... And at least a couple of black furred, green eyed mischief accomplices for Loki (On top of that, let's be honest, the Trickster was likely to be a better cat mom than Goose. A bunch of Flerkins would keep him happy, busy... and out of trouble. Well, as much as possible.)
And from what her pet had told her, a LOT of interesting people were going to gather in the future...most of them to help with the Thanos situation, of course, but that was a golden opportunity to expand Flerken rule.
Because Goose had plans for the Universe...Sadly for him, Thanos did not figure in those.
Thinking about the eugenist purple cretin had Goose grumbling while she made biscuits in her luxurious bit of floof.
"You alright, Princess Pea?"
"Don't worry about it, Stark. She just hit a snag in her world domination plan."
Goose opened one eye to glare at the Trickster. She knew he was aware of the Universal Feline Domination Plan, being an occasional part time feline himself, but one didn't go out and talk about THAT.
Loki smiled.
"Just to make things a bit more sporty, Goose."
THREE green eyed flerkins. And he'd just been appointed babysitter for the rest.
"Meow."