Chapter 4
James hated having to make Tony Stark do this for him, but he was the only one with the kind of expertise to do it on this side of the planet. But that didn't stop him from feeling bad, he had killed his parents, he shouldn't be asking anything of him. He had no right to. Another part of him, which completely agreed with Winter, that was glad to be away from the Rogues, even if it was for a little while. Their constant whining about the situation they put themselves in and their loud hatred of Tony Stark was almost impossible to put up with even on a good day. And today was definitely not a good day, it took all the energy he had to just stay awake as Tony was fixing his arm up after the battle, he was exhausted, but he stayed up because it would be both embarrassing and a huge invasion of Tony's privacy if he fell asleep on him while getting his arm fixed. But as soon as it was, all he could do was stumble into the couch nearby, face first. If James was a little more aware he wouldn't have missed the absolutely cute chuckle Tony let out at his antics.
James didn't know how long he had been asleep for but out definitely had been a while since he had slept so soundly. Maybe not since before the war, which was really odd because he was surrounded by people who would kill him without a second thought. Some of who would be glad to do it because of how much pain he had caused Tony.
But when he came to he realised that the only people in the workshop were him, Tony and Tony's bots. He had assumed that Loki would be there or at least Spiderman, because they understandably didn't trust James. Not that Tony was incapable of defending himself, especially in his own space but he almost didn't stand a chance if James had meant to kill him, HYDRA had made sure that none of the Winter Soldier's victims stood a chance, even Tony who was considered a very high threat in HYDRA's list of enemies.
Even the Rogues didn't completely trust him, he often woke to sounds outside his closed doors at the Compound. He didn't blame them though, and he had gotten used to constant monitoring when he was a machine for HYDRA but it had still made it difficult for him to sleep.
Tony had apparently discovered that he had woken up by the way he turned around to face him, which James almost missed, he was getting sloppy, or comfortable depending on how you saw it. The second revelation was what surprised him more because he realised that he had become comfortable in Tony Stark's workshop where he had been only a few times before. His surprise must have shown on his face because Tony was speaking, “Easy there, Buttercup. You're okay. You're in Stark Tower.” he cautiously approached the couch, with his hands out like trying to calm a spooked animal.
“I'm sorry. I know. I'm sorry.” James just realised he'd never apologized to Tony Stark for everything he put him through.
“Hey, it's okay. You fell asleep, it's okay.” Tony's voice was soft and soothing and it just made James want to curl up in the other man's arms and stay there forever. He shook his head to get rid of such thoughts, Stark was a taken man and even if he wasn't he deserved so much better than James.
“I'm sorry. I know. I'm sorry.”, he repeated looking down at his lap fiddling with his thumbs, a nervous habit he had picked up. James wasn't able to say much more, unable to even explain what he was apologizing for. Tony sat down beside him, and slowly put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, James, it's okay. You have nothing to apologize for. Not anything you haven't already been forgiven for, at least.” That almost made tears well up in James’ eyes, that's when Loki entered the lab startling him and dislocating Tony's hand from his shoulder. Loki just raised an eyebrow at his reaction and sat himself down in Tony's lap, the reaction while minute spoke volumes to anyone who cared to read it. James looked away as Loki sat down trying to not interrupt their moment and completely missing the matching looks of concern and adoration given to him by Tony and Loki.
Looking at the time James got up to leave worried that the Rogues led by Steve would come looking for him, guns blazing, and he knew and cared enough to not subject Tony to that. And he was sure the other Avengers would be glad he inadvertently did that, giving them a chance to exact revenge without going against Tony's rules.
“You're welcome to stay here,” Loki said, surprising James. “I do not mean at this moment but permanently. You can move here if you wish to do so.” His tone sounded so sincere that James was almost suspicious that he was making a joke at his expense. He turned around to see both his and Tony's expressions to clear his confusion but got even more confused at both of their sincere expressions.
“I don't want to be a burden,” James said looking at Tony. He didn't want him to feel like he had to do anything for him.
“Oh please, Buckybear. I'm offering, it's definitely not a burden. And you seem really relaxed here, I would have to be evil to take that away from you.” Tony said while Loki nodded slightly. And they both seemed so earnest in wanting to help that James couldn't help fall a little more for Tony and start to fall for Loki as well. Which didn't help his self loathing, How could he be so selfish and stupid to fall for two people who were both taken?
“But Steve and the others-” James began when he was interrupted by Tony.
“You don't owe them anything, James. You don't have to stay there if you don't want to no matter what they say.”
“I was saying they might show up here if and when I move here and I don't wanna put you through that. Especially in your home.” James said shaking his head
“That definitely will not be a problem.” Loki said with a dangerous glint in his eyes which pleased the Soldier and worried him.
“Well then, let me just go get my things and bid my goodbyes to the Rogue Avengers.” James had one of the most genuine smiles on his face since he'd been himself in this century.
One thing he learnt about the couple while living in Stark Tower was that they were very tactile, at least with people they were close to. They were always touching each other in some way when they were not wrapped up in each other. Sometimes when they were all sitting on the same couch talking or just sitting doing their individual work, with Loki in Tony's lap, they would put their feet in James’ lap, tentatively at first and slowly it just became a thing. And if Tony was the one in the middle he would lie down with his head in James’ lap with his feet in Loki's and that was when James discovered that Tony loved having his hair pet, that Tony would sleep most comfortably when someone was petting his hair or running their hands through it.
James had noticed that Loki was tactile with Tony and him which was odd but not more than anything else he learnt about Loki. Everything he learnt only made him fall for the god more, just as much as he was falling for Tony.
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James had been living in Stark Tower for about a month and while he could get used to living with a bunch of gods and have a disembodied AI guiding him from the ceiling, he couldn't get used to the safety he felt there, amongst the people who had the most right to hate him. He couldn't get used to how friendly and welcoming everyone was. And most of all he couldn't get used to how much he was falling for Tony and Loki who seemed to be very oblivious to his pining and treat him as a good friend. They included him in things which usually would be shared as a couple like on movie nights. He shared one of the couches or loveseats with Tony and Loki while Bruce and Thor took one and Sif and Valkyrie took the other, both of the couples cuddling up and taking up the whole couch. At first James had sat in one of the armchairs alone but he'd probably been looking so lonely and pathetic, staring at them instead of watching the movie that Tony and Loki invited him to sit with them during movie nights. And they had slowly started including them in their cuddles.
And on one of such days, “James,” Tony called out while sitting down on the couch between him and Loki, which wasn't unusual, but him sitting up straight instead of sprawling out between them was. It almost raised alarm bells in his mind similar to the ones that ring around the tower when the Avengers were needed.
He barely registers the hand on his thigh, but is brought out of the state almost panic with Loki's words, “James, please look at us. What we want to say is not as bad as you are imagining.”
He looked up to see Tony and Loki looking at James with such fondness and love that he surely had to be dreaming, “You're not dreaming, Snocone,” Tony says, sounding amused, but immediately turns serious and looks down on his hands, as if to gather his thoughts. Loki massages his shoulder, as if encouraging him but he looks almost scared which sets him on alert again. Whatever can scare Loki is definitely a danger to everyone else, but Loki seems to notice James tensing and relaxes his features into a lazy smile. James relaxes a bit at that but is still on alert, “If you want me to leave the tower, it's okay.” he says at the same time Tony says, “You don't have to say yes if you don't want to. You don't have to feel pressured.”
“Say yes to what?” James says, he was starting to get really confused.
“To dating us. We have noticed that you seem to be attracted to us and we would like to see where it goes.” Loki says.
“Why do you think we were going to kick you out of the Tower?” Tony asks before James can even digest what Loki said.
“I thought you guys figured out that I was crushing on the both of you and that made it weird for you,” he said, deciding that answering Tony's question would be easier to tackle.
“So do you want to give us a try?” Tony says with a smile, relaxing into the couch.
James’ brain has shut down. He doesn't know how to function anymore. “I don't want sex,” he hears himself saying but it barely registers, it feels like the words are coming from someone else.
“So you're asexual?” Loki asks, smiling which makes him look like the beautiful god he is.
He just nods, and he realises the question is probably rhetorical. “That's good, that definitely won't be a problem. I'm aro, aromantic. And Loki is,” Tony says turning to Loki for confirmation, “aroace, that is aromantic asexual.”
James had heard of all these terms, he knew what all of them meant but he couldn't recall. He just looked at Tony and Loki blankly and realised they were waiting for a response from him, which finally kickstarted his brain, “Yes. Yes, I'd like to give us a try.”
With the smiles Tony and Loki were giving him, how could he not gather both of them into a hug?