Day 1:
Tony’s loses Peter.
The “dusting” knocks Tony’s world off kilter, his heart breaks into a thousand pieces. He’s lost everyone, Quill, Strange, the rest of the guardians, for what. Strange saved his life and his worst nightmare had come true, Fury was right, his biggest fear wasn’t that all his friends were dead, it was that he didn’t die.
Tony tries not to think about Pepper, Rhodey and Happy, for all he knows they’re gone too. He thinks, maybe it’s better he doesn’t know because if they were gone too he wouldn’t know how to live anymore.
He wonders about the team, about Steve. He tries not to think about Steve, the betrayal still raw, there are too many regrets between them and it hurts.
Thanos had snapped away half the universe and even though that meant that half of them should have lived on Titan, only Tony and Nebula survived.
Tony can’t breathe, his lungs filled with panic, shaking fingers grabbing at the dirt beneath him. It should have been me, it should have been me, it should have been me he thinks, over and over again until he collapses.
Day 2:
“We have to get them back” Nebula says, handing Tony a wrench catching Tony’s eyes. They share a silent look and Tony nods curtly, a newfound hope and determination flickering on his face.
They have to get them back, even if it kills him. 1 in 14 million right.
Day 3:
They have enough food for 2 weeks. Tony can’t remember the last time he slept.
Day 4:
Nebula’s mainframe malfunctions. She resists Tony’s help at first but when they fix it together, Nebula gains a newfound respect for the mechanic.
Day 5:
Tony tells Nebula about Earth.
Day 6:
He tells her about the avengers, about Pepper and Rhodey and cheeseburgers.
Nebula thinks that cheeseburger is a person and Tony laughs for the first time in a while, the sound scratching at his throat. Tony promises to show Nebula all his favourite earth foods when they arrive, including donuts.
Day 7:
Nebula tells Tony about yaro roots. She almost mentions Gamora but her face closes off and Tony doesn’t ask. He understands.
Day 8:
They manage to get the ship working and they get off Titan.
Day 9:
“When I was 6 I wanted to be an astronaut” Tony says suddenly. They weren’t making any progress on the ship and after 34 hours scouring the planet, Tony was exhausted. He shuffles slightly, moving the bundled up jacket to a more comfortable position behind his head.
Nebula stays silent. She doesn’t say much to Tony, and Tony doesn’t push her to respond to him. Occasionally, he’ll start talking to distract himself from his thoughts, Nebula listens but she never says anything, just like now.
“I never thought in a million years that I would even get to see space.” Tony lays his face, hiding his eyes. Nebula’s gaze doesn’t turn to Tony, she’s still fixated on the far horizon, watching the sun and moons move in the sky. Tony wonders what Nebula thinks about, but he never asks.
Tony sighs and rolls over letting another restless sleep take him under.
Day 10:
Nebula calms Tony down when he’s having another panic attack. She lays a cold hand on his shoulder and squeezes gently and keeps an eye out for him.
Day 11:
“I never thought I’d be scared of space” Tony starts. Nebula looks up, her eyes boring into Tony’s brown ones.
He takes a deep breathe and tells her about Loki’s invasion.
Day 12:
Tony teaches Nebula how to play paper football. She isn’t very good.
Day 13:
Nebula tells Tony about fighting Gamora and how Quill is an idiot. They laugh, but it’s tinged with sadness. Tony in turn tells her about Rhodey and their adventures at MIT, Nebula is jealous, she wants a Rhodey.
Day 14:
Tony finally talks about Steve. Nebula is angry, she vows to break Steve Roger’s neck for betraying her friend. Tony stares at her, his mouth agape, no one (apart from Rhodey) cared enough to do anything like that for Tony.
He rushes forward and hugs her awkwardly, Nebula stiffens up at first but leans into the hug. They stay like that for a while.
Day 15:
Tony misses real food.
Day 16:
Tony can feel the exhaustion deep in his bones, he misses Rhodey and Pepper so much it hurts his heart.
Day 17:
Nebula pushes the food ration that Tony had offered to her. Silently, she gives him a look you need it more.
When Tony passes out on the floor, Nebula covers Tony’s upper body with Quill’s jacket, staring sadly at her friend.
Day 18:
Their food and water runs out.
Day 19:
They work on the ship but Tony knows that they don’t have enough power. Tony tries not to lose hope, talking out loud about his plans to show Nebula his friends and family.
Nebula stays silent.
Day 20:
They play paper football again. Tony lets Nebula win, she’s surprised when Tony tells her that she was a worthy opponent. Tony’s heart aches when he realises later that Nebula probably hasn’t been told that she’s enough in a long time.
Day 21:
Tony can feel his lips crack, the dirt and grime over the past two weeks build up on his skin. He wants it all to end.
Day 22:
Tony runs out of hope.
He records a final message for Pepper on his iron man helmet. It’s broken on one side from where Thanos threw a moon at him. He doesn’t know if she’s alive, he’s never been good enough for her. Tony hates himself.
When I drift off
He hates himself for letting people get close to him. He wonders if anyone even cares if he’s alive or dead. The team is probably better off without him if they survived, he thinks bitterly.
I dream about you
He should have done more.
Because it’s always you