Chapter 22
Group Chat: the bitches
spiderbitch: so was nobody gonna tell me that carol and nat are dating or was i just supposed to walk in on them kissing
captainbitch: we thought you knew
spiderbitch: the b in my name stands for big dumbass carol we've established this
widowbitch: you're literally smarter than tony
ironbitch: true
spiderbitch: shut up. anybody else hiding a relationship that i should know about
shuri: i'm dating your best friend
spiderbitch: NED??
shuri: mj but close
spiderbitch: oh shit okay that's cute anybody else
stevesbitch: me and steve are like...actually dating not just fucking
americabitch: Okay, first of all, why is Shuri the only one without a bitch after her name? Second of all, why is that Bucky's name? And lastly, we are dating.
shuri: pepper doesn't have a bitch after her name either and it's because we're better than all of you
ironbitch: i thought it was an appropriate name
stevebitch: see that's where you're wrong because i'm not his bitch, he's mine
ironbitch has changed stevesbitch's name to bitchysoldier
ironbitch has changed americabitch's name to buckysbitch
buckysbitch: Thank you for that, Buck.
bitchysoldier: it's no problem babe
Spider-Man @spiderboi
i am shocked and quite honestly offended
>Natasha Romanoff @eagle2
your first tweet on this account in months and it's about me...i feel honored
>>Spider-Man @spiderboi
did i say i was talking about you
>>>a walking ptsd machine @deerbarnes
me?
>>>>call me princess one more time @shurlyabitch
or maybe me?
>>>>>Spider-Man @spiderboi
it's literally none of you, i could care less about you three's love life, especially you bucky. but, y'know, patrol gets pretty crazy sometimes
>>>>>>Tony Stark @ironman
you're implying that you're hurt, are you hurt?
>>>>>>>Spider-Man @spiderboi
hurt is a relative term
>>>>>>>>Tony Stark @ironman
i'm gonna strangle you
"I think I'm gonna kill him."
Tony looks over at Harley.
"For someone so smart," Harley shakes his head, "He's a real idiot, y'know?"
"Yeah, I figured that out a long time ago," Tony mumbles, looking back at the floor.
"I came up here to get my mind off my mom...I thought I wouldn't have to come back to a hospital. Turns out, the idiot got shot and didn't tell anybody. How the hell do you hide four gunshot wounds, Tony?" Harley says.
"He's done it before," Tony doesn't look away from the floor, "Hid an injury. He does it a lot. I mean, first it was a stab wound and then he didn't tell anybody that he got hit by a train. His excuse, it's always the same, though. 'I heal really fast.'"
"What good that does you when there aren't exit wounds."
The two look up when footsteps approach. "Are you here for Peter Parker?"
The other's, Pepper, May, Happy, Abbie, MJ, and Ned look up too. All of them nod.
"He's out of surgery, he's doing well. The wounds had closed around the bullets by the time we got to him but we managed to get them out. You can visit him if you'd like, but I suggest a few at a time, we don't want to overwhelm him."
After a few more minutes of talking, the doctor walks away and everybody allows Harley to go see him alone first. Harley stops outside the door and takes a deep breath, opening it and knocking gently on it to alert Peter of his presence.
"Peter, I swear if these injuries don't kill you one day, I will," Harley stands next to Peter's bed.
"Isn't that the plan, Harles?" Peter smiles.
Harley shakes his head, "You're an idiot. Don't do that again, you scared me."
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, I just...didn't want to bother anybody."
"Peter, you wouldn't have bothered us. You were shot four times, you imbecile."
"...I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize, Petey, okay? You never have to apologize."
"Okay."
"I love you...even if you are an idiot, you're my idiot."
"I love you, too."