for you, to infinity and beyond

You know, plummeting through the sky at a hundred kilometers per hour and falling to my certain death at the ripe old age of twenty-five definitely wasn’t very high on my bucket list, but it’s a lot more fun than you’d think. Well, minus the certain death part. Also, dying now would mean dying beside the three people I love most in the world, which would be poetic, except that they would die too, and I’d rather avoid that, thank you.

Now you’re like, “Wait, three people? But Sirius, you have no family and you get no bitches, and you only have one friend in the world, who’s three?” Okay, fair enough. It’s a bit of a long story, actually. Fortunately, I have approximately twenty-seven seconds before impact, which should be more than enough time if we do this in slow-motion.

The date is December 24th, which means it’s been exactly 9 years, 1 month, and 21 days since my home planet was destroyed and I came to Earth. It would also be Regulus’ 24th birthday. Not that it matters, but I keep track anyway. I can’t help it.

Most days start off the same way: James bursts into my room at some ungodly hour of the morning, throwing the curtains open and assaulting my eyes with blinding daylight. This is usually followed by an obnoxiously loud “Good morning, sunshine!” that makes me momentarily consider throwing something at my best friend’s head and yelling at him to fuck off. I never do either of those things, though, because James is my favourite person in the world despite his extremely annoying sleeping habits.

As usual, I wake up to the sound of the door opening and brace myself to be blinded, or to have my eardrums shattered, but nothing happens. I open my eyes, blinking blearily. James isn’t making noise. James is always making noise. The bed dips next to me and I feel my best friend’s hand on my shoulder.

“Morning, Sirius,” James whispers softly, rubbing gentle circles into my shoulder. He coughs awkwardly. “You know, I thought we could get breakfast at that new place, or something. Maybe do a dramatic tour of the city after, annoy some pedestrians, get in Metroman’s way… I called Mom, she’ll bake a cake in the evening. How does that sound?”

God fucking bless James Potter, honestly. “Ah, you’re the best, man. Where would I be without you?”

“Dead, probably. Come on, get up. We’re going for a walk.”

And there it is. I groan and bury my face into my pillow. “I take it back, you’re not the best. It’s too early for a walk.”

James shakes his head and pulls off my blanket. “Nonsense, it’s never too early.

“I hate you.”

“I’ll take you shopping?”

Man, fuck James and his persuasion methods. I stand up and stretch, glaring at him.

“I still hate you.”

“Yeah, yeah, Love you too.”

“Three hours,” James announces, grinning as the guards escort us to our cell, “New record.”

I grin back. “Impressive, even for us. Suspect Lily will have heard about it by now. She’ll be here within the hour. Probably laugh at us and then refuse to sign the bail just to be a little shit.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Sure enough, Lily shows up in just under an hour with the bail papers in her hand and a smirk on her face.

“You know, Black,” she drawls, pressing her face to the bars, “For the world’s most famous supervillain, you’re pretty bad at this shit.”

I press a hand to my chest in mock offence. “You wound me, Evans.”

“And you, Potter,” Lily continues, ignoring me, “Aren’t you supposed to be his babysitter?”

“Excuse you, I am a grown man. James isn’t my babysitter. He’s my mom.”

“Oh, of course, my apologies. Anyway, Mary’s going to be home soon, and I’m not going to be late for our lunch date because of you idiots.”

“Ooh, lunch date.” James waggles his eyebrows. “Be responsible, Evans.”

“Don’t get knocked up, Evans,” I add helpfully.

“Always use protection, Evans!”

“Better yet, wait until after marriage, Evans!”

“Shut up, both of you,” Lily grumbles fondly. “And I’ll have you know,” she adds, eyes twinkling, “The marriage part might come sooner than you think.”

With that, she turns on her heel and walks away.

“Hey, woah, come back!” James calls out indignantly.

“Yeah, you can’t just say shit like that and then walk away!”

James and I exchange a look of disbelief. Did Lily just insinuate that she's going to propose to Mary?

“Holy shit, they’re getting married,” he says, in awe.

“Oh my god, I am totally fighting Marlene to be Mary’s maid of honour.”

James snorts. “Good luck with that. I’m obviously going to be Lily’s best man.”

“Obviously.”

We sit in silence for a few seconds, the excitement followed by a sort of quiet mourning for the end of a chapter.

“Damn, everyone’s getting married except us, huh?” James remarks. “First Frank and Alice, then Dorcas and Marlene, and now Mary and Lily too.”

“And here we are, still woefully bitchless, with no one to marry us.”

“I’d marry you, darling,” James coos, grinning widely.

“Aw, I’d marry you too, sweetheart,” I respond, dramatically throwing my arms around him.

He tackles me in a hug and I groan as he ruffles my hair, complaining about how long it took me to style it perfectly. It’s a good day.

I walk out of the bathroom to find James sprawled out on the couch, lazily flicking through the channels on the TV. I drop down next to him as he finally settles on the news (Seriously, why?). As usual, the news lady and all her other reporter groupies are fawning over Peter Pettigrew, better known as Metroman. God, I fucking hate that guy. Everybody loves Metroman. What does he have that I don’t? I mean, yeah, he’s got luscious hair and a perfect smile, but so do I! My hair’s a million times better than his! My smile makes all the guys go weak at the knees (or it would, if I ever had an interaction with a man that was even remotely romantic)! And yet, he’s adored and I’m despised. Homophobia, if you ask me.

On the screen, as usual, is Emmeline Vance, Metrocity’s favourite reporter — and Metroman’s girlfriend.

“ — Megamind and his right-hand man have been bailed out of jail by an unknown friend, yet again,” Vance explains, looking genuinely annoyed.

I share a grin with James. “You’re my right-hand man, you hear that, Potter?”

“‘Course I am, Black. Always.”

“— but I assure you,” the reporter continues, charming smile back in place, “Megamind can bail himself out as many times as he likes, but our beloved Metroman will be here to send him right back every time.”

The crowd cheers. As if on cue, Pettigrew swoops in, cape flying, hair slicked back, winning smile pasted on. The cheering gets louder.

He lands gracefully on the stage next to Emmeline. He grabs her waist and pulls her in for an unnecessarily long kiss before leaning into her microphone and greeting everyone.

“Good morning to all you lovely people!”

And the crowd goes wild. Seriously, the guy says “Good morning” and they react as if he discovered the cure for cancer.

I roll my eyes and grab the remote, switching to a different news channel.

Xenophilius Ollivander appears on screen. In my unbiased opinion, they’re a much better news reporter than Emmeline Vance. Mostly because they talk about the actual news instead of bloody Metroman.

The “Breaking News” headline catches my attention.

“Brumos X15, a planet in the Andromeda Galaxy, was thought to be destroyed nine years ago when the central star of its system, the Blue Giant Quath, supposedly went supernova. However, information came in last night that the Quath star never imploded and that Brumos X15 and all its neighbouring planets are perfectly intact. Turns out it was nothing but a false alarm! Unfortunately, this changes little to nothing for scientists, because, according to new calculations, the Quath star will actually explode — for real, this time — in approximately six months. This is devastating for the scientific community, as Brumos X15 is believed to be inhabited, or at least inhabitable.”

I turn the TV off and turn to James, gaping in shock. His face mirrors mine.

“Holy shit,” he breathes.

“Holy shit,” I repeat. “I mean, fucking hell, this… This changes everything.”

“Yeah.” James runs a hand through his hair erratically, which he does whenever he’s particularly stressed or confused. “Fuck. Yeah, it does.”

I look him in the eye, dead serious. “We have to go back. Somehow.”

He pauses. “What?”

“James, we just found out that our planet is intact and that everyone back there is alive. Regulus is alive.”

“I know, okay? I know. But just… Think for a second. We have six months, Sirius. That is not nearly enough time to do anything. You expect us to, what, just build a fucking rocket and somehow launch it in the next few months?”

“Please,” I beg desperately, knowing how irrational I’m being, knowing what I’m asking is practically impossible, “We have to try. We have to. I won’t fail him again.”

James frowns. “You didn’t fail-”

“Spare me the lecture, James,” I cut him off. “Are you in or are you out?”

He sighs. “Sirius, you know I’ll follow you to the ends of the Earth – hell, the ends of the universe. If you really want to try, I’m with you.”

I nod, ever so grateful for my best friend. “Okay. Okay, so… what now?”

We stare at each other blankly for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. We laugh, and laugh, and laugh, borderline hysterical, until our stomachs cramp up and tears stream down our faces.

“God, we’re hopeless,” I choke out between laughs.

James wheezes. “We really are. Call Lily?”

“Call Lily.”

And so he does. It rings twice before she picks up, sounding simultaneously annoyed and concerned.

“You better have a very good reason to be calling me right now, James, I’m in the middle of a date with my fiancée.”

James looks confused for a second before his entire face lights up. He practically squeals. “Lily! Holy fuck! You actually did it, you little shit!”

“I actually did it,” she responds proudly, and even though I can’t see her face, I know she’s beaming.

I snatch the phone out of James’ hands, unable to contain my excitement. “Oh. My. God. Evans. I am so happy for you, you don’t even understand. MACDONALD! GET YOUR ASS ON THE PHONE!”

Mary’s voice comes through from the other end of the line. “Well, hello to you too, Black.”

“Oh, stop with the sarcasm, you love me, really, and you’re getting married! You’re actually getting married to Lily, like this is not a drill! Married,” I emphasize once again because my brain still refuses to process it.

“Yes, married,” Mary teases.

“Don’t make fun of me,” I complain, “I’m just excited. I’m going to be your maid of honour!”

“Woah, slow down there, buddy, Marlene is going to be my maid of honour.”

“What?!” I demand, pretending to be outraged. “How will I ever recover from such a devastating betrayal?”

“Yes, truly tragic,” Mary deadpans.

James has the audacity to laugh at me. “Ha, loser. I, for one, have already been guaranteed the position of Lily’s best man.”

“Yeah, about that,” Lily cuts in awkwardly, sounding apologetic, “Me and Petunia got in contact, you know I haven’t talked to her in a long time, and I really do want her to be there at my wedding, considering that she’s my sister and all that, right? It went… surprisingly well. Then she asked to be my maid of honour, and I- I couldn’t say no, you know? It felt like she was the one trying to bridge the gap for the first time, and I really, really want us to fix our relationship. I’m really sorry, James, I know I-”

“Hey, hey, hey,” James cuts her off, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it, Lils, I get it, of course I get it. I really hope it gets better with Petunia.” He reassures her with a smile, but I can still a hint of disappointment in his eyes.

“Aw, don’t worry, James, when some poor idiot decides to marry me, you’ll be my best man.”

He flashes me a grateful grin before clearing his throat and addressing Lily again.

“Right, so. Not to ruin the mood, but there was actually a reason we called. And it’s, uh, kind of urgent.”

“Oh yeah, shit, what’s up? Is everything okay?” Lily asks, immediately on damage control mode.

“Uh, well, you see— You wouldn’t happen to have caught the news by any chance, would you?”

“No, of course not, I was busy proposing, James.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Okay, well…Uh, I’m not sure how to put this.”

“Good news, bad news?”

“Uh, bit of both?”

“Alright, just say it in one shot.”

“You know mine and Sirius’ home planet Brumos X15? Yeah, apparently it never blew up and everyone on there is still alive and has been for the last nine years and that is frankly quite amazing, except that it’s actually going to blow up in six months but we have to find a way to somehow go back because Sirius refuses to leave his brother again,” James explains in one breath.

Silence on the other end of the line.

“Evans? You still there?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m here,” Lily’s voice comes through the phone. “So, let me get this straight,” she says incredulously, “You want my help to figure out a way to return to your home planet, which didn’t actually get destroyed, and save Sirius’ brother, who isn’t actually dead, within six months?”

James scratches his head awkwardly. “…Yeah?”

More silence.

“I know a guy.”