Chapter 1
“Jesus Christ, Carol! It’s a mess in here! What the hell are you doing?” Maria steps inside the doorframe, catching a glimpse of Carol’s bent figure, digging under her small bed. At the sound of Maria’s voice, she snaps back up, almost bumping her head on the underside.
“What? Nothing! Just uh,” She picks a stray t-shirt off the floor. “Looking for this! And I found it, yay!” Her eyes are wide, frantic, avoiding Maria’s.
“Carol. What’s going on?” She says, moving closer to the blonde with her eyebrows drawn in.
“It’s nothing, it’s probably nothing, I just-”
“What’s probably nothing?” Maria cuts her off, grasping her elbow gently. “Calm down, Carol.” The blonde looks up, and Maria is frightened by the fear on her face, barely masked.
“I missed my period- I thought it was just late, but it’s been a month and- god! How could I be so stupid,” Carol turns to pace the room, running her hand through her hair, drawing it up off her neck.
“What are you talking about? Carol, you haven’t- you don’t-” Maria gestures, and Carol shakes her head, biting her lip.
“But I did. I did, Maria.” She whimpers a bit, crouching to dig through her duffel bag beside her bed.
“When? I mean, Carol, we are barely not together.” She asks, bewildered, a small pang of jealousy low in her stomach.
“The night you went out with Frank, remember? Your first date. Like, last month? I went to Pancho’s- I was wasted, okay? I went home with Derrick, I couldn’t even remember what happened when I woke up. Dammit, shit.” She swears again, finally finding what she was looking for.
A pale pink box is in her hand, one promising 100% accuracy and a shorter wait. Figures, Carol’s always been impatient. She takes it into the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door behind her as she yanks down her military trousers.
“Wait- Derrick?” Maria follows her in, dropping to sit on the rim of the bathtub beside her. Carol opens the box and nods distractedly.
“Yeah, I know, it was stupid, but he never, you know, said anything to me. Bad, at least.” She pulls the stick out and shoves it underneath her, and Maria shakes her head in shock.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about it.” She blinks, and Carol bends her neck, cringing.
“I’m sorry, I was just overwhelmed at the time. It’s not like I’d ever want to see him again, I’m not exactly looking for a relationship.” She yanks the stick back up, dropping it on the counter and re-buckling her belt.
“Yeah, I guess so.” She looks at the floor, and Carol turns back from the sink, drying her washed hands.
“Hey, I’m telling you now,” She says gently. “I was embarrassed. Your opinion of me matters a lot to me, and I didn’t want to fuck it up.” her voice is sincere, and Maria looks up, in Carol’s wide brown eyes. She brushes a strand of hair back from Maria’s dark skin, opening her mouth to say something, when the egg timer beeps behind her.
“Wow,” she breathes, pulling away from the brunette, wiping her hands on her thighs.
“That was quick.” Carol picks up the stick, taking a breath through her nose before looking down.
Her eyes well with tears immediately, and Maria rushes over to look at the test. She gasps. Two lines are blaring bright pink on the indicator, and Carol’s tears make the ink run when they drip onto the plastic.
“Listen to me, Carol. It’s gonna be okay, we’re gonna be fine-” Maria soothes, and Carol hurls the test into the garbage can.
“It’s not going to be okay! It’s not! Don’t you see? Everyone- they all said I couldn’t do it, that I wouldn’t make it, I wasn’t enough. Now look at me.” She collapses to the floor, shrinking her knees up to her chest, and Maria drops down to wrap her arms around the sobbing blonde.
“They were right. They were right.” She repeats, and Maria shakes her head.
“No.” Carol doesn’t listen, repeating the worn phrase until her tears stop falling, and her sobs quiet to a weak sniffle.
“All I wanted was to fly.” Maria’s heart breaks at the pain in her small voice, the dull rasp that sounds like giving up.
“And you will, baby, you will.” Maria looks down at her, feeling a surge of affection for the girl in her arms, barely 24, and pulls her into her lap.
“Carol, listen. This,” She gestures to the test in the trash, “Doesn’t determine your future. At all. This is your decision, only yours, whether you want this child or you don’t. If you don’t have the child, you’ll get to fly. But if you do, guess what? You’ll still fly, Carol. You’re still gonna be a pilot, you’re still gonna have the future we always dreamed about, you and I, okay? Nothing’s gonna change that, especially not a baby.” She finishes, and Carol’s eyes are wide, attentive. Maria almost melts under the amount of trust in them. She nods, and buries her head in Maria’s shoulder.
“I’m- I’m gonna have the baby, Maria.” And Maria smiles, stroking down her mane of blonde curls.
“I know you are, honey.”
- - -
It’s around when Carol really starts showing that they decide to break the news to Dr. Lawson. The gray-haired woman nods, glancing down at Carol’s slightly rounded stomach, and smiles.
“I’ll allow you the paid maternity leave if you let me be the godmother.” She jokes, and Maria beams at Carol, laughing around a ‘told you so’.
“Very tempting, but you should know that title goes to Maria.” And Maria freezes, her smile dropping to a stunned frown.
Carol and Dr. Lawson don’t notice, and it’s only when they’re walking back to their apartment on base that Maria brings it back up.
“Did you mean it when you said you wanted me as the godmother? Like, actually?” She murmurs, and Carol grins.
“Is that why you’ve been so quiet? I was beginning to think you were upset.” Her expression falters.
“Are you upset?” Maria silently unlocks the door to their apartment, and pulls Carol in.
“Of course I’m not upset, but this is a big title. Are you sure I’m the best person for it?” Maria rubs the back of her neck, and Carol sighs.
“Maria, I can’t believe you’d even have to ask. I knew when I first found out about her that I wanted you to be the godmother. You’ve never left my side, through all this time, you’re the only person I’d trust to do this. Is that okay?” Maria nods, a few strands of hair falling to frame her face, and she can’t control the few tears that drip from her eyes.
“Yes, that’s- I’d love that, I’d- wait. Wait, hold on, her?” She snaps her head around, and Carol’s eyes widen in realization.
“Oh shit,” she mumbles.
“You found out the gender and you didn’t tell me? I thought we agreed to be surprised?” The brunette exclaims, pacing the wooden floors of the living room.
“I’m sorry?” Carol winces, and Maria drops onto the couch. “Please don’t be upset.”
“Baby, come here.” Maria lifts her arms, and Carol blushes at the nickname, settling down beside her.
“It’s a girl?” She murmurs, brushing her palm over Carol’s stomach, and Carol nods, eyes welling.
“I know I said I didn’t care either way, but-”
“I know you wanted a girl, Maria.” She smiles widely.
“I so wanted a girl!” She squeals, kicking her legs. Carol squeals with her, and Maria presses a kiss to her cheek.
“I can’t wait to meet my goddaughter.” Maria murmurs.