New York City
February, 2009
Carol had returned to Earth a couple days ago, and had been helping Fury out with some problems here and there, though a couple had already been solved when they got there, thanks to an ‘Iron Maiden’.
As Fury turned on to 5th Avenue, Carol told another dumb human joke. In her defence, it was a boring patrol.
“A Xandarian, a Shi’ar, and a human walk into a magic shop. To get in, you must pass through a magic door. You must say something you think is true about yourself, and if you’re right, you pass. If you’re wrong, you die. So the Xandarian goes through, says ‘I think I am intelligent’, and passes. The Shi’ar goes, says ‘I think I’m attractive’, and passes. The human says ‘I think-‘, and dies.”
Fury slammed on the brakes. “That’s it.”
Carol was confused. She’d made these kinda jokes a million times. What was different now?
Fury pulled them into a (highly illegal) U-turn, and swung around, heading towards the looming Stark Tower in the distance. They pulled up, and Fury marched her inside. The secretary looked up at him.
“Ah, Director Fury. Should I inform Dr. Stark that you’re here?”
“If you would, Barbara.”
An elevator chimed open, and the Secretary nodded at it. Fury got in, at gestured at her to do so as well. She looked at him.
“What? What’d I d-“
“Shut up Carol, it’ll be explained in a sec.”
The elevator raced upwards, and then came to an abrupt stop. The doors opened into a lavish penthouse.
“Dr. Stark is in her office, Director. On the left.” The voice came from seemingly no where, and Carol whirled around. Fury attempted to contain a smile.
“Thanks, Jarvis.”
He made his way down a corridor, dragging Carol behind him, slamming open the doors at the far end.
A beautiful young woman behind a desk glanced up at them and smiled.
“Uncle Nicky-poo, how nice. Can’t say I’m surprised. Who’s hot lesbian biker girl there?”
Carol gaped, a blush creeping up her cheeks. “I-wha-how’d you know?”
The young woman smirked. “Easy. You’ve just got that vibe. As for hot, well...” She winked seductively. Carol couldn’t tear her eyes off the other woman. Those breasts, that light brown hair that bounced when she moved.... she was the most breathtaking person Carol had ever seen, and she’d met Valkyrie.
Fury sighed. “Carol, meet my hell-infused goddaughter, Dr. Antonia Stark, aka the Iron Maiden. Toni, this is former Colonel Carol Danvers.”
The woma-Toni glanced at her, then back to Fury. “You only ever come over with someone else when you’ve got something SHIELD can’t figure out. So, what is it?”
Fury pointed at Carol. “Her.”
Toni raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Pray tell.”
Fury grinned. “She can shoot photons out her ass. Go.”
Toni turned to her. “Well, well. Do they literally come out of your ass? No? Likely your hands. Well then if that happens. Probable energy is c, okay then...”
Toni trailed off, muttering science speak that Carol did not understand. She was poked and prodded, blood samples taken. Toni even had her blow up a couple things, which helped distract Carol from her arousal. Throughout it all, Fury was smirking, that smug bastard. Eventually, though, he got up.
“Alright, I’ve gotta go. Toni, deliver her back to base if you would.”
Toni nodded vaguely. “Hmm... ok”
A couple minutes later, that disembodied voice spoke again. “Ma’am, Director Fury has left the building.”
“Cool, thanks J.” She turned her attention back to Carol. “Alright, now strip.”
“I-Uh-What?”
“You heard me. I need to take samples from different parts of the body.”
Carol hesitantly took off her jacket and shirt, leaving her in just a bra. Toni stepped closer, and in one swift movement pinned Carol to the wall, mouth closing on hers. Carol was stiff for a moment, but melted into the kiss, a hand reaching up to cup one of Toni’s breasts, thumb ghosting over an erect nipple. Toni moaned, reaching her own hand down Carol’s pants, the other tangled in her hair. They separated briefly. Toni was flushed and smirking.
“I think I’m a little overdressed, no?”
<><><>
The next day, Carol arrived back on base, face red and hair disheveled. Fury took one look at her and winked knowingly.
Carol never made dumb human jokes again after that.