NOT A CHAPTER. PLEASE READ!
Last time I updated was, what, November? Wow.
I'm posting this because so many people have been commenting for more, asking if this story is abandoned and such. I'm here saying this because it isn't.
I made a note in one of my other interrupted fics, No Longer Hiding, when everything was going on. I didn't get to do that here. So, here goes.
My dad died on November third. Mentally, a lot of things have been shut off since. Schoolwork is almost impossible, especially for the subjects I actually like. I was tired before, I haven't had restful sleep in three years, and the past few months I have been a walking zombie. I had to move back in with my mom after two and half years of living soley with my dad, and I had moved out for very important reasons. My aunt and grandma wanted to fight for custody, but they aren't allowed to unless there is physical proof of abuse.
Writing is one of the things that has been really hard. The Backup and No Longer Hiding were the two posted fics I was working on at the time. Instantly, everything was blocked. It made the whole ordeal worse, because writing is what I do to remain stable. If I don't, I become a complete asshole. It keeps me healthier than I could be without it, it helps me cope. And my dad, I never showed him any of my writing. I wanted it to be perfect. His opinion is the only one that truly matters, and my anxiety wanted to hold off on it. I was going to show him something, a piece I almost won an award for, but by the time we had gotten home I'd forgotten about it.
But nothing could help me cope with losing the most important person in my life. At losing him, everything broke. Future ideas, getting my license, my safety from my mom, my most important support system, his fiance's family (they were going to get married that week), my childhood home. Everything just...shattered.
I've tried to come and write this, but it's just really hard. One, the scripts. I had rewriting them. It bothers me. Two, Bucky's a dad. They lost each other. It makes me really emotional, and I can't keep my head on straight long enough to get through Civil War. I have everything after Homecoming written to the last chapter, besides a gap in Endgame that's in Natasha's POV.
I have been able to write one thing, aside from short poorly written one shots. Rule The World Or Drown. Keeping that in mind, this is what I have decided; Once RTWOD is done, I will come back to my "abandoned" fics. That is a promise. It's a vague time estimate, I know, but it's the best thing I can do. RTWOD is halfway done. Four more chapters, five if you include the unimportant bonus. I love writing it, it comes out so well. Each chapter takes a couple of weeks, including editing and rereading.
Thank you guys, for sticking with me and reading this. I really am sorry, for you guys and myself, that there haven't been Backup updates. It sucks, I know. So many people have embraced this story and I love how many people love it.
Seriously, I love you guys. (I'm sorry for how all over the place this is, I didn't mean for that.)
Ash