Action

The video opens to Peter and MJ sitting on Peter’s bed. 

“Bonjour, Ironfam,” Peter says. “Welcome to a video that we decided to post today. Obviously our schedule has gone to ****. I’m working on it. Until that point, expect random videos posted at random times.” 

{cut}

“Now that we’ve got that little technicality out of the way,” MJ rolls her eyes at Peter. “It’s time to get on with the video. Today, we’ve decided to prank our friends, mostly because Peter hasn’t been able to come up with a prank to do on me but wants to do prank wars.” 

“I will have you know I have a lot of fabulous prank ideas,” Peter says indignantly. “I just thought this one would be funny.”

“It probably will be,” MJ allows. “But it will also be ridiculously awkward.” 

“As you’ve seen from the title of the video,” Peter informs the camera. “Today, MJ and I are going to pretend to get into some giant fight in front of our friends. Ned and Harley are downstairs in the living room, I dunno if they’re alone or if they’ve got people with them, but basically MJ’s going to storm out of my room and down the hall to the guest room that she sleeps in when she stays here, cuz as we said in the last video I’m barely allowed upstairs at the Jones’s house, so when we have sleepovers her parents allowed it with the premise that MJ gets her own room.” 

“Anyway,” MJ rolls her eyes again. “So whenever I’m at the tower, that’s basically ‘my room.’ I’ve got furniture and clothes and bathroom stuff and all that **** in there. So I’m gonna go storming out of this room, into mine, and slam the door. We’ve already hidden cameras in the living room -”

{cut}

Harley and Ned are both sitting on the couch, apparently watching a movie. Betty is sitting next to Ned, holding his hand, while an unknown red-haired girl is laying her head on Harley’s shoulder. 

{cut}

“- as well as my room,” MJ continues her interrupted thought. “Also, again as I said in the last video, but in case some of you missed that - no hate to my bedroom. I’m allowed to like purple.” 

“It’s her favorite,” Peter supplies. “Especially lavender.” 

“Shut up,” MJ directs towards Peter.

{cut}

“Anyway,” Peter continues. “We’ve decided that we’re going to fight about Spider-Man. I’ve seen lots of these videos on YouTube, and they usually involve something along the lines of, like, abusive behavior or cheating, but all our friends know that neither of us would ever do something like that. So MJ’s going to be mad because, if you watch the news, you’ll know that Spider-Man, aka me, was injured pretty bad recently. I’m fine, obviously, but MJ’s gonna be talking about how scared she always is, and how stressful me being Spider-Man is, and then I’m gonna get all mad about ‘well this is who I am’, and then she’s gonna be all ‘I’m not telling you to stop just be careful’ and I’m gonna go ‘stop telling me what to do’ because I’ve had basically this exact conversation with Dad before so it’s believable and, just like we’re pretending now, that time ended in a massive fight where I didn’t talk to him for weeks.”

“We’re gonna start in here,” MJ adds. “I’m just gonna be talking kind of loud, like we were already in the middle of the conversation and it’s starting to get tense, and then he’s gonna get louder, then I’m gonna yell, then he’s gonna yell, then I’m gonna storm out and he’s gonna follow me. Anyway, you’ll get it once we start. Ready?” 

“Ready!” Peter says. “Let’s get going!” 

{cut}

The screen is split in two, with half showing Peter and MJ in Peter’s room, and the other half showing Ned, Harley, Betty, and the mysterious girl. 

“Do you even understand how stressful it is for me?” MJ said loudly, shrugging at the camera as she did so, but still sounding angry. 

“I know it is, but I can’t just stop, MJ,” Peter snapped back, looking to the camera and trying to stifle a grin. “Spider-Man is who I am!” 

“I know that!” MJ is on the verge of yelling. “I’m just asking you to be careful!” 

On the other screen, Ned lifts the remote, either turning off or muting the tv, as the four of them sit up slightly, obviously all listening. 

“So what do you want me to do?” Peter yells. “Hang up the suit? Just leave all those people out there to die?”

“Of course not!” MJ yells back. “I’m just asking you to be careful!” 

Harley stands up, the mystery girl leaning forward as if thinking about standing. Ned and Betty are simply leaned slightly forward, looks of concern on their face. 

“You’re acting like Dad did when I was fourteen!” Peter shouts. “Would you all quit telling me what to do?” 

MJ pauses for a second. 

The mystery girl stands, as well, and Ned is sitting on the very edge of the couch. They’re all staring down the hallway. 

“Fine,” MJ snaps. “Fine, go out and keep being reckless and getting stabbed. But when you get yourself killed, I’ll be there to say I told you so!” 

She turns and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her. 

“MJ!” Peter calls, heading towards the door. 

The screen morphs into one, just the living room, as MJ storms down the hall. 

“MJ?” Harley asks tentatively. “Everything okay?” 

“**** off, Keener,” MJ snaps at him, entering her room and slamming the door. 

“What the ****?” Mystery girl mutters with a heavy French accent, as Peter appears down the hall. 

“Where did she go?” he asks. 

“Her room?” Ned says. “Peter, what’s going on?”

“Nothing, it’s fine,” Peter says dismissively, heading to MJ’s door. “She’s just being unreasonable.” 

“I think you’re both being un-” Betty begins, but is cut off when Peter enters MJ’s room and slams the door behind him. 

{cut}

The screen is split again, the living room on one side, and a room very similar to MJ’s at her house on the other. 

“Did you really have to be rude to Harley?” Peter snaps. 

“Oh, because you were so nice to Ned!” MJ snaps back. “Would you get out of my room?” 

“Come on, we need to talk about this!” Peter says. “You know I can’t just quit being Spider-Man!” 

“For the love of God, Peter!” MJ shouts. “I’m not telling you to quit!” 

All four in the other room are standing now. Mystery girl glances at Harley, before gently knocking on MJ’s door. 

“Peter? MJ?” she calls hesitantly. “Can you please come out?” 

Inside MJ’s room, Peter and MJ are both trying not to laugh, but they carefully school their expressions before Peter yanks her door open, and the screen returns to just the living room. 

“What?” he says shortly. 

“Look, whatever’s going on, I think you two need to take a break from each other,” Harley says. 

“Yeah, I think he’s right,” MJ cuts Harley off from whatever he had been about to say. She glares at Peter. “I think we should just break up.” 

“Woah, woah, woah!” Ned exclaims. “MJ-”

“Maybe you’re right,” Peter says, his voice low. “If that’s how you feel.” 

“Ok, everybody, just calm down,” Mystery girl says. “What is going on here?” 

Peter and MJ both ignore her, glaring daggers at each other. There’s silence for a moment, before Peter speaks again. 

“Well if that’s how you feel, you might as well leave,” he says angrily. 

‘Fine, I will,” MJ snaps. “Just have Stark send all the **** to my house, I’m not coming back for it.”  She stalks off towards the elevator. 

“Good!” Peter shouts at her retreating back. “I don’t want you to come back! I don’t want to talk to you ever again!” 

The door to a hallway, which contains the elevator, slams shut. Peter stares at it for a moment. 

“Peter?” Ned asks hesitantly. “Are you… are you ok?” 

“I’m fine, Ned,” Peter says, turning away. 

“You’re fine?” Harley asks in disbelief. “How are you fine?” 

“I’m fine because…” Peter hesitates. “Because… this is a prank!” 

Peter begins laughing at their dumbfounded expressions. The hall door opens again, and MJ reappears, also laughing. 

“What?” Mystery girl asks blankly. 

“We got you so good ,” MJ laughs. “You guys looked so concerned! I had no idea you were so invested in our relationship!” 

“I mean, if you two break up, then that pretty much ****s over our whole friend group,” Ned says reasonably. 

“Wait, so… you’re not broken up?” Harley asks, looking completely lost. “You’re… everything’s all good?” 

“Yes, everything’s fine,” Peter says, still giggling. “Would you honestly think I would react that way if MJ asked me to be more careful on patrol?” 

“I mean, you reacted that way when Mr. Stark said the same thing,” Betty said reasonably from behind them.

Peter gives Ned a questioning look. 

“I may have told her all about the different fights you had with Tony before he adopted you,” Ned shrugs. “She was curious as to how you managed to worm into his life.” 

Peter shrugs. “Ok, sure, but that was because he was a reckless adult who was telling me to stop being reckless. This would have been my girlfriend who I love asking me to stop getting myself stabbed.” 

“It’s a reasonable request,” MJ says. “To be completely honest, it was a conversation we would have been having anyway. We just decided we might as well prank you guys.” 

“I thought prank wars was just between the two of you!” Harley exclaimed.

“No, no, no,” MJ shakes her head. “Prank wars is fair game to anyone in this tower. The channel is called The Ironfam, not Peter and MJ’s Prank Wars.” 

“Well that’s really good to know,” Mystery girl says. 

{cut}

Peter and MJ are sitting on the couch. 

“Well, that’s it for this video!” Peter says brightly. “I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, like and subscribe to join the Ironfam and see more of… this. Bye!” 

{cut}

roseareader: This was funny, if a bit unrealistic. I could never see Peter yelling at MJ like that!

Mega_Oofs: Is nobody going to ask who the redhead is? Does Harley have a girlfriend???

belle101: Ok but who’s the redhead? 

DoritoGod: #Ironfam - but what’s with the ginger?