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The video opens to Peter and MJ sitting on Peter’s bed. Lady, Chloe, and Luci are sitting with them. Luci has gotten a lot bigger than he was since the last time he was seen; he takes up most of the back of the bed, especially as he’s stretched on. Peter and MJ are sitting on the front edge. Lady is in Peter’s lap, and Chloe’s in MJ’s. 

“Hey guys, welcome back to the Ironfam!” Peter says brightly. “Once again, I am here with MJ again.”

“You said again twice,” MJ interrupts. 

“Shut up,” Peter rolls his eyes. 

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“Anyway, as I was saying,” Peter says, giving MJ a significant look. “Today I am once again here with MJ, and we are doing a very special video.”

“We are going to be telling Pepper and Tony that I am pregnant,” MJ says, very serious, looking straight into the camera. 

There’s silence for a few moments, before Peter cracks, and begins giggling. 

“Okay, so obviously, she’s not actually pregnant,” he says, still laughing. “I mean, we’re both only sixteen and, like, no hate if you did have a child when you were our age, we’re just… absolutely not prepared for that, and there’s no possible way that’s going to happen.” 

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“So, it’s occurred to me,” Peter begins. 

“Meaning I told him,” MJ interjects. 

“Shush,” Peter says, pointing at her, before turning back to the camera. “Anyway, it’s occurred to me that you guys might not realize that we’re officially dating. So, like, three months ago, I asked MJ to prom, and we went, and it was fantastic, and then after that we went on a few more dates, and now we’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend.” 

“We only officially became boyfriend and girlfriend about two months ago,” MJ adds. 

“And as we’ve only been dating for two or three months,” Peter continues. “We’ve never, you know…” he looks at MJ. “Done… it.” 

“He means had sex,” MJ rolls her eyes at the camera. “I dunno why that’s such a taboo word.” 

“Because this is supposed to be a family friendly channel!” Peter says, scandalized. 

“Well, parents probably don’t want their children watching videos about teen pregnancy either, I know mine didn’t,” MJ shrugs. “So kids probably aren’t going to watch this video anyway.” 

“Still!” 

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“Yes, so as MJ so bluntly stated, we’ve never slept together or anything,” Peter picks up. “Which, again, no hate if you do that, we just would like to take things way slower than that.” 

“And also wait until we’re at least eighteen,” MJ supplies. “I mean, the age of consent is seventeen, and even though Peter turns seventeen next week, I don’t until February, which means it would technically be illegal.” 

“So Mr. Dad knows that I wouldn’t do that,” Peter says. “Which is why it’s going to take a lot of work to make this believable. We’ve got a pregnancy test that we’ve made look positive,” he holds it up to the camera. “We just drew on the second line. And we put the end in pickle juice, so it looks like it’s been used.”

“We’re going to start by just sitting them down and telling them,” MJ continues. “And when they inevitably don’t believe us, we’re going to pull that out. And we’ve got two more, just so we can show them and say we’re absolutely certain.” 

“So, we did say, ages ago, that this channel wasn’t going to be a pranking channel,” Peter adds. “Which I have two things to say about. First, that’ll help, because then Mr. Dad won’t think that we’re pranking him for YouTube. Second, MJ and I were talking, and we thought it could be fun to do some pranks of the more harmless kind. So… yeah. We might have some pranks on this channel. Stay tuned.” 

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Peter is standing in the living room now. 

“Alright,” he says. “So, I’ve hidden this camera in here, I’m not gonna say where because it’s a fantastic hiding spot, but it’s hidden, there’s no way anybody’s gonna find it. MJ has just hidden one in Mr. Dad’s room, and the kitchen, and I’ve put one in my room and the bathroom, just in case he or Mom go in any of those places. So we’ve got all the angles, and a bunch of different rooms, and… it’s gonna be great!”

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Peter and MJ are sitting in the living room together. 

“So, what’re we gonna do?” MJ asks. “Just… when they get back, tell them to come sit down because we have something to tell them?” 

“Uh, yeah,” Peter shrugs. “We’ll sit them down, and-” 

The elevator dings. 

“****, they’re here!” Peter whispers. He glances at the camera, before he pulls out his phone. MJ has done the same beside him, so they’re casually seated on the couch when Tony, Pepper, and Harley enter the room, each carrying several grocery bags.

“So, how was private couple time?” Harley asks. “I hope you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t.” 

“There’s nothing you wouldn’t do,” Peter rolls his eyes, pocketing his phone and sitting up straighter. “Actually, um, Mom, Dad, we need to talk to you.” 

Tony and Pepper share a look. “What is it?” Tony asks apprehensively. 

“Well, we kind of wanted to talk privately,” Peter says, looking pointedly at Harley. 

“Okay, okay, fine,” Harley says, putting his hands up and walking towards a hallway. “I know when I’m not wanted. Be that way. It’s fine.” 

“Shut up, Harley!” MJ shouts at him. 

Harley flips her off as he walks away. 

Tony and Pepper enter the living room, and sit down on the couch. 

“What’s up?” Tony asks. 

“Um… we’ve got something we have to tell you,” Peter says, looking at MJ. 

“What’s going on?” Pepper asks, looking between the two teenagers. “You two are freaking me out a little bit.” 

“Let me guess, MJ’s pregnant?” Tony snorts. 

Peter and MJ look at each other. Tony, looking between the two, slowly stops laughing. 

“What?” he says. “No, there’s no way. There is absolutely no possible way that MJ is pregnant.” 

“I mean…” Peter says slowly. “Apparently there is, because she is.” 

“Are you two serious right now?” Pepper asks, studying their faces for any hint of a joke. Tony, meanwhile, is looking around, clearly trying to spot a camera. “You’re not kidding?” 

“Swear to god, I’m not kidding,” Peter says. 

“Seriously?” Tony asks. “There’s no possible way this is true. How do you even know?” 

“I’d been feeling weird all week,” MJ explains. “And was sort of throwing up. And then I missed my period, so I told Peter, and I took a test, and… it was positive.” 

“Prove it,” Tony demands. “Show me the test then.” 

Peter stands up, and leaves the frame. 

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The camera has changed, and it shows Peter entering the bathroom. He opens a drawer, takes out all three fake tests, and leaves the bathroom. 

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Peter returns to the living room and hands Tony and Pepper the tests. Tony stares at them. 

“When did you take these?” he asks. 

“This morning,” MJ replies. “That’s why we wanted to stay here while you guys went out. So we could be alone while we took these.”

Tony runs a hand down his face. “I just don’t… how did this even happen, Peter?” 

“Well…” Peter says. “I mean, you know, I slept over at her house that one night, and we-” 

“Nope, nevermind,” Tony says, covering his ears. “I don’t want to know the details. I just…” 

Tony stands up, and starts pacing in front of them. “I thought you were smarter than this, Peter!” he finally exclaims. “We’ve had the talk, we’ve discussed this! I don’t care what you do, because that would make me a hypocrite, but if you’re going to have sex with someone, at least do it safely! You told me you weren’t even going to have sex until you were at least eighteen, and you’d been with someone for over a year!”

“Tony,” Pepper says, reaching up to grab his arm. “Tony, calm down…” 

“I will not calm down!” Tony snaps. “This is… you’re a freaking genius, Peter! You are sixteen. Years. Old. You are not equipped to be a parent, neither of you are! You’re barely a junior in high school! You two… MJ, I thought at least one of you would have been smart enough not to let this happen!” 

“Don’t yell at her!” Peter snaps, also standing up. “You’re not her parent!” 

“No, I’m not!” Tony yells. “But I am your parent, and now she’s going to have your child! And you’re… Jesus, Peter! This could totally mess up both of your futures!” 

“So what do you want her to do?” Peter asks. “You want her to abort it? Put it up for adoption?” 

“No!” Tony snaps. “If she wants to fine, if she doesn’t, we’ll make it work! But you are not abandoning her, you understand me? We’re going to be with her every step of the way! This is just… this is ridiculous, Peter!”
“Yes it is!” Peter shouts at him. “You know what else is ridiculous? The fact that you’re so worked up about this and it’s a prank!” 

“It’s a - what?” Tony looks at Peter blankly. “What do you mean, it’s a prank?” 

Peter and MJ both start laughing. 

“She’s not pregnant?” Pepper asks, looking between the two of them. 

“No, of course I’m not!” MJ laughs. “We’re pranking you!” 

“But-you-you had positive tests?” Tony says questioningly. “How’d you-?”

“We drew the lines on,” Peter says, snickering. “I can’t believe you didn’t figure that out.” 

“But it’s… it’s been used?” Tony asks. “It’s… the end?” 

“That’s pickle juice,” MJ informs him. “Don’t worry, I didn’t pee on it.” 

“We haven’t slept together either, in case you were wondering,” Peter adds. “That night I slept at her house, I slept on the floor.” 

Tony sits heavily on the couch, rubbing his forehead. “I’m… Jesus, Peter! What, there’s a camera in here somewhere?” At Peter’s nod, he continues. “I thought we weren’t doing pranks on this channel! What the ****! You about gave me a heart attack!” 

“Well, we talked it over, and decided some pranks might be fun here and there,” Peter shrugs. “Also, there’s cameras in almost every room in the house, in case you decided to go somewhere else. Maybe give us time to move those before you do anything weird.” 

Tony rolls his eyes, and Harley emerges from the hallway. 

“Now that the shouting match is over,” he says. “I’m guessing it’s safe to come out now.” 

“Did you tell him to do this?” Tony asks, pointing accusingly at Harley. 

“No, I did not,” Harley says, looking offended. “I figured that’s what was happening as soon as you started yelling. There’s no way that Peter got MJ pregnant, I can’t believe you fell for that.” 

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Peter’s holding the camera now. “So, we got him good!” he exclaims. “At least now I know what will happen if that ever does happen, and not going to lie, this is good reason to not let that happen. Thank you guys for watching, I hope you enjoyed this video! Like and subscribe to join the Ironfam if you want to see more of… this. See you guys next time!” 

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