Action

Marvel Cinematic Universe The Avengers (Marvel Movies) Iron Man (Movies)
G
Action
author
Summary
Peter stepping into the limelight, as seen through videos.
Note
We're just gonna say that the Avenger's came back and were pardoned after Civil War. And Infinity War and Endgame never happened, because I'm still in post-Endgame denial.Also, the timeline with birthdays and christmas and crap - which will show up eventually - is totally screwy, so don't pay too much attention to that because I know everything is wrong and Tony's birthday should not be one chapter away from Christmas but that's how it's gonna be, so just ignore everything that's wrong and enjoy the videos.
All Chapters Forward

Eat It or Wear It

The video opens with Tony and Peter standing behind a counter. They are apparently in Tony's kitchen, on the penthouse level of Stark Industries. There are several numbered bags lined up in rows around them, as well as a bowl full of slips of paper. 

"Hey, guys!" Peter says excitedly. "My name is Peter Parker, and this is Mr. Stark," 

"Kid," Tony interrupts, rolling his eyes. "Mr. Stark? Really?" 

"What else am I supposed to call you?" 

"Hm, I dunno, Peter. Why not, maybe, Tony? As I've told you a dozen times?" 

"Why would I do that?" 

"Peter-"

{cut} 

"Anyway, guys, now that my identity has been leaked onto the internet, we thought it would be fun to make this YouTube channel!" Peter says. 

"Peter thought it would be fun." Tony says. "Just making that clear. This is entirely Peter's idea." 

"Come on, Mr. Stark, you know it's going to be fun." 

"Do I?" 

{cut}

"So, I really don't know how I convinced Mr. Stark to do this, but for our first video, we're going to be doing the Eat It or Wear It challenge," Peter picks up as though the cut had never happened. "So we've got ten food items here. Five are good, and five are bad. We don't actually know what they are, because we got Natasha and Clint to go pick them out for us. And, I think we should probably be a little afraid, because Clint is brutal. I wouldn't be surprised if he 'forgot' to get any good idems." 

"If he did, I'll kill him for you," Tony offers. 

"Mr. Stark, I'm not going to let you kill Clint." 

{cut}

"We numbered the bags, obviously, and we put the numbers on little slips of paper and put them in this bowl, to decide what food we get," Peter explains. "And I've got Siri to pick if we have to eat or wear the food. Eat is 1, wear is 2, and I'm just going to ask her 1 or 2, and see what we get. And we're gonna roll a die to see who goes first. Highest roll goes first. Ready, Mr. Stark?" 

"As I'll ever be," Tony says, and rolls the die. 

"So Mr. Stark rolled a four," Peter informs the camera. "So I've got to roll either a five or a six to win." 

"I think they know how numbers work, Pete." 

{cut}

Peter rolls the die. He watches it bounce around on the counter, before coming to a stop. Slowly, he stands up to look at it, and begins cheering. 

"A six! I win, Mr. Stark!" 

"Yeah, yeah, just pick a number, Peter." Tony sounds amused. 

Peter closes his eyes and sticks his hand into the bowl of paper. When he withdraws it, he unfolds it and shows it to the camera. "Eight. So now, we've just got to... find... the bag..." 

He stands up, checking all the bags, until Tony drops one in front of him. 

"Here," he says. 

Peter takes a deep breath, before reaching into the bag and pulling out a plate. On the plate is a white-ish, brown-ish meat. 

"Ew," Peter says, wrinkling his nose. "It's salmon." 

Tony looks at someone behind the camera. "Are you kidding me?" he asks. "We are both allergic to fish, Barton. What the hell." 

Someone, presumably Clint, is laughing behind the camera. 

"I'd better hope I get wear it, then," Peter says. "Hey, Siri?" 

His phone pings as Siri turns on. 

"One or two?" 

It's silent for a moment, before a british Woman's voice responds, "One." 

"That's eat it, Mr. Stark," Peter says solemnly. "It was nice knowing you." 

"Yeah, no way, kid," Tony says, pulling the plate away from him. Without giving Peter a chance to protest, Tony picks up the fish and smashes it onto Peter's hair. 

"Mr. Stark!" Peter whines. "You're not allowed to change what she says!" 

"I am if eating the food will literally kill you, Peter-"

{cut} 

"Alright, Mr. Stark, your turn." 

Tony rolls his eyes, before gingerly extracting a piece of paper. "Seven," he announces. 

Peter glances through a few bags, and plops a bag with the number 7 on it in front of Tony. "There you go!" 

"Thanks," Tony rolls his eyes again. He opens the top of the bag, glances inside, and immediately closes it again. "No way. Absolutely not." 

Clint is laughing again. 

"Come on, Mr. Stark, what is it?" Peter asks. 

Tony opens the bag and tips it upside down. A bowl falls onto its head, along with a few pieces of steamed broccoli. 

"There is no possible way I am eating that," Tony warns Peter.

"Then you'd better hope you get wear it!" Peter says cheerfully, opening his phone. "Hey Siri, one or two?" 

"One," Siri responds. 

"No." Tony folds his arms stubbornly. "I am not eating that." 

"Mr. Stark, come on..." 

"No!" 

{cut}

Tony is no longer sitting beside Peter. Instead, the camera faintly picks up on his voice outside of frame, but can't make out what he's saying. A soothing, female voice interjects sometimes, only to be overridden by Tony's angry tone.

"So," Peter says, looking at the camera. "Mr. Stark has decided he's going to act like a toddler and throw a fit about his stupid broccoli, so we've got Pepper in here to try to get him to eat it. It's... not going great." 

{cut}

Peter's head is resting on his hands now, and he's hunched over the counter. Tony has not returned, but Pepper's voice has changed from soft and soothing to sharp and angry. Tony's voice can't be heard this time. 

"I never thought I'd see the day that Tony Stark is throwing a fit over eating a single piece of steamed broccoli," Peter says, sounding mystified. "Honestly, my respect for this guy is just getting lower and lower as this goes on."

Peter's silent for a moment. 

"Okay, that was a lie. I still respect him very much. I'm just not going to take him at all seriously when he tells me I have to eat the brussel sprouts he makes for dinner sometimes, just because he wants to see how much of a stink I'm going to put up about it." 

{cut}

The camera is moving down a hallway. Clint's laughter can be heard again. The camera pans to show Peter sitting on the couch, watching a movie, before turning back to the hallway. 

"Pete's given up," Clint whispers. "Pepper and Tony are still going at it. I'm going to see if I can get some footage of it." 

He creeps closer to a door, and Pepper's and Tony's voices can be heard clearer now. The door is open just a crack, and the camera moves closer to it. Tony is visible sitting on the end of the bed, with Pepper standing over him. Both are obviously very angry.

"For heaven's sake, Tony, it's a piece of broccoli!" 

"Clint put that in there just because he knew I wouldn't eat it! Same with the salmon!" 

"Tony, quit acting like a toddler and go put a piece of broccoli in your mouth! Peter is trying to make a fun video with you, and you are ruining it!" 

"Boss," FRIDAY's voice cuts in. "Mr. Barton is filming through the door." 

"Get out of it, Barton!" Tony snaps, throwing a pillow at the door, causing it to slam closed. Clint begins to laugh again.

{cut} 

The camera is shaky, as Peter is laying on the couch holding it above his head. 

"Mr. Stark and Pepper are still fighting about this," he says, sounding a mixture of amused and worried. "Seriously, I may have just ruined their relationship. I can't decide if this is funny, pathetic, concerning, or all three." 

"It's all three," Natasha's voice cuts in from out of frame. 

"Well, you heard it from Natasha," Peter says, shrugging as best he can in his current position. "Mr. Stark is being hilarious, pathetic, and concerning at the same time." 

"He usually is," A new voice enters. Peter shifts the camera to see Steve walking through the kitchen, grabbing an apple, and walking back out. 

"Okay, then," Peter says, turning the camera back to himself. "We'll get back to this if Mr. Stark ever decides to come back." 

{cut}

Peter and Tony are both back at the kitchen counter. 

"Well, after that long and rather concerning ordeal, Mr. Stark has finally decided he will eat the piece of broccoli! We should give him a round of applause for his courage and sacrifice." Peter claps over-dramatically. 

"Oh, be quiet," Tony says. He picks up a piece of broccoli, gives it a dirty look, and shoves it in his mouth. He shudders dramatically as he swallows, before immediately gulping down as much water as he can.               

"Well done, Mr. Stark," Peter says solemnly. "I bet that was very difficult for you." 

"**** off, Parker," Tony tries to say angrily, but there's no real malice in his tone. "Pick a number." 

"Mr. Stark, you can't swear!" Peter gasps, scandalized, as he reaches into the bowl. "I'll have to bleep them out!" 

"Yeah, yeah," Tony rolls his eyes. "Would you just pick a paper?" 

Peter dramatically yanks a paper out of the bowl, and unfolds it. "Three." 

Clint starts laughing from behind the camera again, before the bag is even found. Peter immediately looks worried. 

"So, Clint's laughing, which really freaks me out a little..." he says slowly. "Oh, here's the bag. Let's see...?" 

He reaches into the bag, and pulls out three egss. 

"Eggs?" he looks behind the camera. "They're cooked right?" 

"No," Clint's voice is shaky with laughter. "They're not." 

"Barton!" Tony exclaims. "Are you trying to kill him?" 

"I'm not going to die, Mr. Stark, people eat raw eggs all the time," Peter shrugs. "Siri, one or two?" 

A beat of silence, and then- "Two." 

Peter's face falls, as Tony begins laughing his head off. 

{cut}

"Alrighty, here we go," Tony says cheerfully, before smashing the eggs over Peter's head one at a time. Peter began shrieking. 

"Oh my god! Oh my god, Mr. Stark, they're so cold-"

{cut}

Peter is pouting, his hair crusty with dried egg, as Tony reaches into the bowl to pull out a number. 

"Nine," he announces, immediately picking up the bag next to him. "Oh, it's heavy... ew." 

Tony lifts a jar of pickled pigs feet, so the camera can see it. 

"That's... disgusting," Peter says, looking behind the camera. "Do people actually eat that?" 

"Yeah, it's pretty popular in other parts of the world," Natasha's voice says from behind the camera. "Don't ask me why, it's nasty."

"Hey Siri, one or two?" 

"One." 

Tony makes a face, but takes the fork Natasha hands him, opens the jar, and takes a bite. "Bleh. That's disgusting." 

"Are you kidding me?" Peter exclaims. "A piece of broccoli is out of the question, but a pickled pig's foot is fine?" 

Tony deadpans at Peter. "Would you rather I made a big deal out of it."

"No, I guess not..." Peter shrugs. "Its just weird is all." 

{cut} 

"One," Peter says, picking up a bag. "I swear, we haven't gotten anything good so far, and it's a bit ridiculous. I'm starting to think that I may have been right when I said Clint forgot to put anything good in here." 

"Incorrect," Tony says, lifting something out of the bag. "This one's pie." 

"Oh, yes, it's cherry pie!" Peter cheers. "My favorite! Hey Siri, one or two?" 

"One." 

"Eat it!" Peter's shouting now. "Yes!" 

He takes a spoon from Clint, and scoops out a huge spoonfull of the pie and crams it into his mouth. 

"Kid!" Tony exclaims. "Bites, kid, you're going to choke!" 

"I am not going to choke, Mr. Stark," Peter tries to say, but it comes out sounding more like, "I nah gowa choke, Mirrah Har." 

Tony rolls his eyes. 

{cut}

"That was so good," Peter says. "Your turn, Mr. Stark." 

"Two," Tony shows Peter the paper. 

"Here it is!" Peter says cheerfully, depositing the bag in front of him. 

Tony opens the bag, and wrinkles his nose. "It's a soggy bowl of Lucky Charms. There's no good outcome." 

"Yeah, well..." Peter shrugs. "Hey Siri, one or two?" 

"Two." 

Peter begins laughing. "Wear it, Mr. Stark! What is your luck?" 

"I hate this game," Tony deadpans, before Peter dumps the entire bowl over his head, causing him to flinch dramatically. "Jesus, Parker!"

{cut}

Tony is staring blankly at the camera, milk and a soggy marshmallow slowly dripping down his face. Peter suddenly appears from out of frame, handing him a towel.

"That's for the counter, Mr. Stark," he says. "You're not allowed to clean it out of your hair until the video is over." 

"Yeah, yeah, you've told me the rules," Tony grumbles, grabbing the towel and wiping down the counter. "I have no idea how you managed to talk me into this-"

{cut}

The counter is clean now, and Tony is a little less... damp. Peter plucks a paper from the bowl. 

"Five," he announces, grabbing the bag and turning it upside down. A jar of mayonnaise falls out with a thud. "Ew." 

"Hey Siri, one or two?" Tony asks. 

"Two," Siri responds. 

"Gross," Peter sighs, as Tony opens the jar and upends it over Peter's head. He immediately begins shrieking. "Why is everything so cold-!"

{cut}

"Six," Tony says, grabbing the bag. "Which is chocolate milk. I swear, if I get-"

"Two," Siri's voice cuts him off. Peter had whispered the question to her while Tony was talking. 

"Are you ******* kidding me?" Tony throws his hands up. "This game is rigged. Rigged, I tell you!" 

"Mr. Stark, you can't swear!"

{cut}

Peter dumps the entire gallon of chocolate milk over Tony's head, who sits there with his eyes closed, a deadpan expression on his face, as it runs down his face. 

"This is the worst idea you've ever had," he declares. "The worst idea anyone has ever had." 

"Really?" Peter asks sarcastically. "What about that time you-

{cut}

"So this is the last one," Peter says, dramatically stirring the two papers left in the bowl. "Ten." 

"You've got chocolate cake," Tony informs him, handing him the bag. "And if you get eat it-"

"Hey Siri, one or two?" 

"One." 

"Ha!" Peter laughs. "Eat it! Take that, Mr. Stark!" 

"You're a menace," Tony rolls his eyes. "Just eat your ******* cake." 

"Language, Mr. Stark!" 

"Did you just-?"

{cut}

"That was the best cake in the world," Peter informs the camera. "Who made it?" 

"Bucky did," Clint's voice responds. "He's famous for being the best baker on the team." 

"He's the only one who knows how to cook," Natasha counters. "Except for me." 

"Shush, you two," Tony says. "It's my turn." 

He grabs the last bag, and pulls out a bowl of raspberries. "Ooh, I love raspberries!" 

"Hey Siri, one or two?" Peter asks. 

"Two," Siri says. 

Tony looks at the camera with the most 'done' expression ever. 

"Sorry, Mr. Stark," Peter says, as he smears raspberries into his hair. "At least we're done?" 

"Yeah, sure," Tony glares at him, but the glare has no real heat in it. "Have fun cleaning this up."

"Mr. Stark-"

{cut} 

They're both clean now, and so is the kitchen. Peter smiles at the camera. 

"So that was fun, right Mr. Stark?" 

Tony shrugs. "It would have been better if my luck wasn't ****." 

"Mr. Stark, how many times to I have to tell you not to swear?" 

"At least one more, kid." 

{cut}

"So, that's it for this video, which took literally all day to film, so I hope you enjoyed it!" Peter says cheerfully. "Like and subscribe if you want to see more of... this." 

"That's all you got?" Tony asks incredulously. "'Subscribe if you want to see more of... this'?" 

"Don't mock me, Mr. Stark."

{cut}

"Anyway, that's it! See you guys next time!"

"Adios, muchachos." 

"Mr. Stark!" 

{cut}

Forward
Sign in to leave a review.