There’s a loud crash in the living room that brings a smile to Tony’s face even as he yells at Hulk to leave the tower intact.
He honestly hadn’t expected to be living with them all under the same roof, and if he’s being honest waking up and knowing they’re all there has made every morning better.
And if he’s being really honest, seeing a certain super-soldier coming up from a morning bout in the training in nothing but a thin t-shirt and sweatpants never hurt either.
“Morning Cap!”
“Hey, Tony. You’re up early.”
Tony shrugs. “Work to do, weapons to upgrade, you know how it is. How’s the training room, JARVIS giving you a good enough challenge? If you need anything changed, just let me know and I’ll whip up a new program for you.”
“No, it’s fantastic Tony.”
“But there is something you can help him with.” Natasha’s voice chimes in from down the hall. “Steve here could use some dating advice.”
“ Steve needs help landing a date?” Tony laughs. Who’d say no to a date with Steve Rogers?
Steve sighs. “Yes, there is someone I’m... interested in, and I could use your input.”
“Also he lost a bet with Clint so now he has to ask you.” Natasha adds.
“Should I be offended by that?” Tony asks.
Natasha pats him on the back. “Don’t worry about it. You two have fun!”
Steve and Tony watch her leave.
“I’m so sorry about that.” Steve says. “You really don’t have to-”
“No, I’ll do it. Especially if you lost a bet, though I don’t know why you’d need to lose a bet to come ask me for dating advice. I mean, I am the resident romance expert.” Tony claps his hands together. “So, you wanna tell me who’s lucky enough to have caught Captain America’s eye?”
Steve grins. “I don’t think I will.”
“Seriously? Does anyone else know?”
“Well, Nat does. And Clint, and Hulk, and Thor”
“So everyone knows except me.” Tony fake gasps. “I am hurt, Steve. You have wounded me. After knowing each other all these years, you won’t tell me about your crush?”
“First of all, Sam doesn’t know. At least, I don’t think he does.” Steve crosses his arms. “And besides, you have a slight tendency to go overboard when it comes to helping people with their personal lives.”
“Is this about Helsinki? Because Helsinki was not my fault. If it wasn’t for Loki’s magic doodad, everything would have been fine.”
“Can we just get on with it?” Steve says.
“Right, your love life.” Tony says. “Well if you won’t tell me who it is, we’ll just have to start from the general basics. Say you’re approaching this person to ask them out on a date. What do you say, where do you want to take them?”
Steve thinks for a moment. “Probably something like: hey, there’s a new exhibit at the Met, want me to take you? A fella like should probably be with the other masterpieces, after all.”
Tony just stares at him. He also feels his face get hotter.
This is not happening.
This can not be happening.
Tony Stark does not blush like a damn school girl, especially not when he’s the one supposed to be giving Steve dating advice!
“Was it that bad?” Steve asks, probably because Tony still hasn’t responded for a full thirty seconds after hearing Stee’s pickup line.
“Sorry, just out of it. Haven’t had coffee yet, y’know? Anyway that’s a good first start.” Tony says to save face.
“Thanks, but you don’t have to be nice for my sake.”
“No, seriously, it wasn’t bad. A line like that certainly isn’t going to send someone running in the other direction the way one of Clint’s puns would. Pair it with something nicer than your sweats and you’re sure to snag a date.”
Steve raises an eyebrow. “You think so? Nat gave me the impression that certain people liked seeing me in my sweats.”
Tony laughs. “Well, obviously , but it’s better to make a good first impression you know? Everyone loves seeing Captain America in a too-tight shirt and yoga pants but if you’re looking to ask someone out on a date, you want to look a bit more composed. It shows you’ve put in an effort.” Tony thinks about it a little more and adds, “Oh wait, I guess it’d be fine if your mystery crush someone you see on your morning jog. Makes sense, someone who’s up that ungodly early-”
“7AM?”
“-would be perfect for you.”
“I’m still not telling you who it is, Tony.” Steve says, barely concealing laughter.
Tony pouts. “Really? How come everyone else gets to know but I don’t. I can give better advice if I know what I’m working with.”
“It’s not like I told them, everyone else just happened to figure it out already.” Steve says. “And besides, you’re doing me a lot of help like this. Just tell me how you’d like someone to ask you out.”
“If Hulk can guess who your mystery crush is, then I will too, I promise.”
Steve rolls his eyes. “I can’t wait. Anyway, what else have you got? Do people still do flowers or something?”
“Can’t go wrong with flowers. Heck, it probably doesn’t hurt to go the extra mile and look up what flowers you get. Even if they’re not well-versed in flower language, it’s a good conversation starter.” Tony says. “Oh, I know it was just a line, but definitely do not go to the Met for a first date. Too public. Trust me, it always goes better if you have the first date somewhere low key where the paparazzi can’t jump down your throat.”
Steve nods. “Right, thanks Tony.”
He jogs off down the hall. For his part, Tony goes to the lab and doesn’t come up until late the next day, after a very productive workshop binge.
Tony takes a shower, then goes to make himself a sandwich.
“Tony! I was worried I’d have to fish you out of the lab.”
Tony turns to see Steve. He’s presumably dressed for that date, in jeans, his usual white t-shirt, and a jacket.
“Here.” Steve shoves a bouquet in Tony’s face.
“White camellias, huh? That’s so-”
“Are they a bad choice?”
“No, I just meant that when picking flowers with their meanings in mind, other people might have chosen something like chrysanthemums or zinnias, but you chose the ones that mean ‘You’re Adorable.’ I can’t even explain why that’s cute, it’s just a very Steve choice.”
Tony realizes he’s rambling and clears his throat. “So anyway, are you going out now?”
“Um yeah, there’s a little brick-oven pizza place in Queens I was thinking we could go to. It’s pretty quiet and the firelight will be perfect for gazing into your eyes.”
Tony has to take a few more seconds to recalibrate after that one.
“S-sounds like a great time Steve.”
Steve beams. “Alright, then let’s go!”
“Wait, why would I come?”
“Because you’re my date?”
“What?”
“I literally just asked you out.”
“I thought you were testing out another line on me.”
Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “No, Tony, I want to go on a date with you. Because,” he gestures to the flowers, “you’re adorable, and my best friend, and we both almost died less than a month ago and it’s made me realize I can’t actually handle the idea of not having you in my life.”
“Steve…” Tony leans forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I’d love to go out with you. We taking your bike?”
“Of course, you know I like it when you have to get close to me.”
Tony coughs. “Ok, If we’re dating, you have to promise me you’ll keep talking like that.”
Steve winks at him. “You know it.”