Chapter 1
It had been a few months since Miguel's model fell terminally ill. Tadashi was his inspiration for many years, helped him with designs and even provided emotional support on long nights with hinging deadlines. Miguel isn't sure if he's up to taking on a new model... After all. His main concern for the time being is if Tadashi is going to make it in the end. Miguel put his work on hold to stay in the hospital with Tadashi and give him all the support that he had provided for him in the years they had served together.
He sits in the chair, hands picking at each other between his knees as his listens to the harrowing sounds of all the monitors. He isn't sure where he's going to go from here, if he will even continue his career without his closest friend. Tadashi was more to him than just a pretty face to sport his designs, he was apart of his family. The thought of losing him gnawed away at his mind as he watched his friend lay there ever so still.
Each day that passes feels like a year. The tests, the pills, the therapy, everything seemed to weigh on Miguel more the patient to which Tadashi would laugh at his worried friend.
“ How is it that your more worried about everything then me?” Tadashi said with a chuckle.
“Unlike you, I seem to grasp how serious this is.” he states as he looks up from staring at the floor to meet the gaze of his humored friend. “I just don't understand how you are so calm with the idea of...well you know Tadashi-” his voice trails off not wanting to finish his thought.
Sensing the quiver in his friend, Tadashi lets out a heavy sigh and lays back dramatically in his bed. He's never been one to make people worry for him, he's always been the worrier; so to see his friend in such dismay over his condition makes him try to joke it off to lighten the air.
“Think of it this way, we both are getting a pretty nice break from work. Besides, people love the sick look on asians.” He says as he strikes a pose sticking his thumb and index finger under his chin.
Miguel looks to his companion, bags under his eyes from countless nights watching Tadashi struggle in his sleep. He can’t believe how brave Tadashi is, even through all the pain, he still bares a sweet soft smile. The air around him is always calm no matter what. Migeul always admired that about him.
“Do you... have any regrets? Anything you would like to do before you…pass.” He stammers trying not to breakdown. He knows the inevitable fate but wishes that it would never come. He wishes for things to go back to normal, not so that he can work again but so that he doesn't have to see his partner suffer the way that they are and not being able to do a damn thing to stop it. And yet, Tadashi remains ever calm, almost as if he has already accepted the fact that his time on this plain is running thin.
“Do I have any regrets?” The sickly man ponders as he rubs the back of his neck. “None that I can directly call upon. I try to live my life as it comes. No point in doing something that will cause you to think twice.” He lets out another soft sigh and closes his eyes. A tender smile spreads across his red cheeks. “I can’t control everything that happens, but I can control how I react to the events.”
The words bounce around in Miguel’s head. “You can’t control what happens but how you react.” Some how those words put his mind to ease, understanding now why Tadashi is calm. Yes he is sick but sadly there is nothing that can be done to stop it. But what can be done is enjoying every second he has left. Why spend it moping. This is why He admired Tadashi, he always had such a miraculously positive outlook on everything. He could always find the silver lining.
“Promise me one thing Miggie” the weary man said in a slight whisper while looking out the window. “Even if I do wind up passing, don’t give up your carrier, your dream. You have such passion that needs to be shared with the world. Don’t quit just because I’m gone. Because I never truly will be gone. I will always be here” he states, reaching out to Miguel, placing his hand over his heart to signify that no matter what, his memory will carry with him. As long as he remembers the moments they shared he will never be without Tadashi.
The brunette has a hard time looking into those once golden brown eyes, so full of wonder and excitement. Now dim cold and ashy, filled with distant thoughts and weary from the chemotherapy. It was hard, but it was important to make eye contact in this situation.
“I promise.”