You can’t save everybody
Harley was leaning back on Peter’s bed, his legs bent and one of them folded over the top of the other comfortably as if this was his space while he waited for Pete to get in. The room was quiet, eerily so, and Harley needed Peter to be back nowww so that they could plan their next attack. He was getting bored as the sky grew steadily darker, the sun sinking lower and lower as he scrolled down his Instagram feed for the thousandth time.
He was definitely impatient, about to ask FRIDAY if she could ask KAREN to ask Peter to come home already, when the window slid open and a red and blue spider crawled into the room. Harley looked up excitedly, starting to exclaim, “Hey spiderbaby, you-“
But once Peter’s feet hit the floor Harley cut himself off. The other boy’s shoulders were slumped in defeat, his head facing the floor as if he couldn’t look up, and even though his face was masked he gave off an aura of complete despair. He stood there in his bedroom like that for a moment, and it was scaring Harley, who gave a tentative, “Pete?”
At this, Peter looked up at Harley and instantly his chest started heaving, his body shaking with sobs and Harley rushed forward to take him into his arms. He hugged Peter tightly, rubbing his back soothingly as the other boy sobbed into his neck. Harley realised that, even though he could feel Peter’s face, he wasn’t getting wet, so he pulled back for a second to gently take off his mask before he suffocated or something. It couldn’t have been comfortable to have soggy material clinging to his face anyway.
Harley didn’t say anything. He just held him, guided him to sit on the bed, made sure he knew that he was there for him and that they were safe until Peter was ready to talk. He knew that it would’ve been pointless to try and comfort him without knowing what was wrong first, so he just let him feel his company for a while, for as long as he needed.
Once Peter’s sobs eventually stopped, he pulled back from Harley’s grasp, opened his mouth and started to say “I’m sorry” but before he could finish the word Harley growled.
“Don’t dare apologise.”
And Peter’s mouth snapped shut.
He looked at the other boy’s red, swollen eyes and sniffing nose and gently asked him, “What happened Pete?”
And he told him. He told him all about his patrol and how he landed in front of the terrified little girl who was being pushed into a van by these men, and how the look on her face transformed entirely to display pure joy and complete trust in Spider-Man, who had no doubt come to save her, and how this young and bubbly face then became streaked with hot and wet crimson and how her eyes became lifeless and dull and how he failed to save her. And how it was his fault.
Harley, who had let a tear roll down his cheek as Peter’s retelling progressed, grabbed Peter’s wrists at this and pinned his gaze with a fiery look in his eyes. “No, Peter. It wasn’t your fault. Did you point that gun at that girl’s head?”
“No, but I-“
“No, you were the one who had come to save her,” he ploughed on as if Peter hadn’t spoken. “She knew that you were a hero, her hero, Peter.”
“But I didn’t save her,” he choked out.
“A hero can’t always save everybody. You always try your best, you willingly risk your life almost everyday for complete strangers and you’ve saved countless lives- there are so many people who are walking around today that wouldn’t be without you. But that’s all you can do, Peter. Life isn’t in your control, and you can do everything you can to try and preserve it, to help others, to use your powers for good- all of which, you do- but nobody can save everybody. What you did today was brave, and even though you couldn’t save her, you might’ve stopped her from enduring worse at the hands of those men, so at least she died free,”
“But-“
“I’m not explaining away her death, or saying it was a good thing. It was a tragedy, and you should be sad, we all should be, but what I’m saying is that you can’t feel guilty. It wasn’t your fault.”
He didn’t know how much of that actually sank in, but he used his thumb to wipe away the tears from Peter’s cheek and Peter nodded slightly before diving back into Harley’s embrace. Harley felt his breath as he spoke on the back of his neck.
“Can you stay?” He whispered, choking back a sob, vulnerability evident in his shaking words.
I’d do anything for you.
“Of course,” he whispered back instead, and as they lay back onto Peter’s plump pillows, FRIDAY turned off the lamp so that the only brightness in the room came from the gentle moonlight and city lights through the window. Peter fell asleep to warmth surrounding him and nails gently scratching through his hair, feeling down but Harley was making it better; Harley fell asleep to Peter’s purring and gradually slowing breaths.