Harley the honorary spider
Natasha and Peter decided a while ago that they needed a ‘spider’s day out’, but only once the heatwave arrived did Peter have an idea, begging enthusiastically to go to a pool and have a day to relax in the sun. He knew it’d be pointless to ask Tony and the rest of the avengers because... well, it’s a public place, and they were public figures. Natasha, on the other hand, knew how to blend in seamlessly in almost any situation you can imagine, despite her fiery red hair; she knew exactly how to manipulate her body language and appearance so that no one but the true crazed fans would recognise her. When he brought up the idea after seeing her fanning herself with a bookmark, she smiled and said “God, yes that’s a great idea.”
So Peter ran up to his room to put on some swimming trunks, and Natasha was just about to get up off the sofa to pack a beach bag when Harley strolled in the living area and asked her, “Where’s Peter?”
“He’s gone to get ready.”
“Oh, do you know where he’s going?”
“We’re having a spiders outing to the pool, it’s way too hot,” she said, noticing the way Harley pouted and his small “Oh, okay” as he flopped down on the sofa next to her, looking disheartened.
“...But you can come with, if you want,” she offered, not wanting to leave him out and knowing that Peter and Harley would probably miss each other in the few hours they were apart anyway.
“But I’m not.. a spider..”
“That’s okay. You can be an honorary one today. Peter will want you to come anyway,” she said, before standing up and moving to leave. “Get your trunks on, Harley.”
⎊
The three of them stood in a small circle, so that they could put suncream on each other’s backs, Peter doing Natasha’s, Natasha doing Harley’s, and Harley doing Peter’s. Once they were done, they lay in sun beds and momma Nat pulled out three bottles of water that they took greedily, chugging it almost at once and praising her as a queen. “I’m just prepared,” she said with a smile, before collapsing back onto her own sunbed and adjusting the stylish sunglasses on her face. They watched a couple of kids splash around gleefully in the water when a loud snore startled them from the sunbed to Harley’s left. He looked over at the middle aged lady who was completely conked out, and he couldn’t help it. “Miss Keisha? Miss Keishaa? Oh my fuckin god she fucking ded,” he said, making Peter cover his mouth to repress a snort of laughter and Natasha to sigh even though she looked amused.
“You know, I’m not gonna lie, I used to think she said lesquisha,” Peter added quietly, and Harley looked over at his innocent looking doe eyes for a good moment before he couldn’t take it and cracked up.
“You’re dumb,” he said.
“You’re dumb.”
“No you’re dumb.”
“No, you’re dumb.”
“No. Y-“
“Oh my god you are both complete idiots,” Natasha groaned and promptly stood up, tying her shoulder length hair into a quick pony while walking and dove gracefully into the pool to get away. They blinked at her abrupt absence, before Harley added in a whisper, “You’re the dumb one.”
Peter turned his head to look at him, Harley desperately trying to keep a straight face, before he stood up and picked him up bridal style before he could even blink. It started to register to Harley once Peter took quick steps towards the pool’s edge, and he became frantic.
“No, no no no I take it back, I take it back!!! I’m the dumb one, Petey pleas-“ and then Peter threw him into the shimmering water. He waited for Harley’s head to pop back to the surface so he could watch but didn’t give him time to scowl before launching himself in after him. “CANNONBALL!” He yelled, tuck jumping to land right beside him, splashing Harley with chlorine water all over again. Harley didn’t wait for Peter to reach the surface before attacking in revenge, grabbing him from underwater, causing a muffled screech to sound and bubbles to rise up out Peter’s mouth as he tried to kick away. His head popped up, and he took a breath of air and promptly began to swim away laughing, but Harley threw his arms around his neck and gripped on like a koala. Which didn’t really affect Peter’s ability to swim, you know, spider strength and all, so it just ended up as the two of them drifting around the pool while Peter the tree branch swam for the both of them. Natasha literally snorted when she saw them from the other end of the pool, Harley clutched on to Peter, both of them with dumb bright smiles on their faces that they probably didn’t even know were there, wondering how the hell they could act like such love struck idiots yet not know.
Five minutes later, the two of them floated past the large lady who had been snoring beside them earlier, and she tutted. They thought that surely it wasn’t at them, and continued to drift off but then she looked directly into Harley’s eyes and said, “that’s disgusting.”
Peter stopped moving instantly. Turning to look at her, he replied, “Are you talking to us?” with a confused lilt in his Queens accent and a questioning gaze focused on her face.
“Of course I am, I don’t see any other unnatural people around here.”
Peter tilted his head like a confused puppy, she wasn’t exactly making sense, starting “what are yo-“ when it clicked for Harley what she was getting at.
“Are you serious?” He spat angrily.
“God didn’t intend for people to be fags,” she said sternly.
“It is 20 fucking 19 you fucking fossil what the fuck is your problem you ignorant old-“
“Harls,” Peter interrupted before he could continue insulting the angry woman. Harley tightened his grip around Peter and took a deep breath in to steady himself before he took a swing at the stupid-
“We’re leaving,” Peter said, to Harley or the woman no one knew, and Harley nodded even though Peter couldn’t see it, placing a firm kiss on his cheek and looking defiantly at the lady as if to say ‘fuck u we’re gay’ as they took off in the opposite direction to the lady. Peter’s stomach flipped again when Harley’s lips pressed against the side of his face, even it was only for a second, and Peter was starting to panic. He couldn’t exactly explain that one away as jealousy. Thoughts swam through his head as frantically as he was swimming. ohmygodohmygodiminlovewithharley HOW did I not even notice-
Natasha came up beside them, looking at Peter’s blush and Harley’s determined anger and asked them if everything was okay because things over there looked intense. Harley nodded, but scoffed and just said, “homophobic bitch,” as an explanation while Peter stayed frozen. Natasha’s gaze darkened, but when she saw Peter she knew that more confrontation isn’t what he needed so she tried to let it go. Instead, she smirked and slyly said, “she clearly doesn’t know what she’s talking about- you’re adorable.”
Peter blushed even harder and Natasha realised that he finally realised, while Harley said jubilantly, “We know!”
Oh well. One down, one to go, she guessed.
⎊
The rest of the day was pretty chill; the koala had detached from Peter, who solely focused on the blue that surrounded him gleaming in the sun, just like Harley’s ey-
Who solely focused on not drowning as he floated in the gentle ripples of insignificantly coloured liquid. Harley and Nat had returned to the sun beds, hoping to tan a little before they headed home. By the time they did, (after stopping for food, Peter’s bottomless belly was rumbling again) all three of them were exhausted and practically collapsed onto the giant sofa, falling asleep in an instant, and this time, FRIDAY took the picture of the three of them cuddled up herself.