The Cream Monster
Peter giggled and quickly tried to muffle it with his hand while he nudged Harley- which was quite difficult seeing as there was barely any space to lift his arm and jab it in Harley’s side. Not that Harley seemed to be struggling. He was somehow nudging and prodding him every two seconds as he tried to wiggle through the space next to him.
“Harlss, you could have waited and just crawled behind me!” Peter said, trying to sound annoyed but he was still trying not to giggle so it didn’t really have the wanted effect.
“Can’t leave it all to you, spiderbaby!”
He just shook his head and tried to squeeze forwards; the vents were definitely not wide enough for the two of them (yet here they were). They only had 10 minutes while Clint was in the shower, so they scurried as fast as they could (how did clint travel by vent all the damn time? It was difficult, okay?) until they reached the opening above Clint’s room. They shared a glance, evil glints in their sparkling eyes, and each shook their can.
“Let’s do it, spiderbaby,” Harley whispered, and the two of them attacked the vents with whipped cream, grinning maniacally. Peter surrounded the edges of the vent opening in neat(ish) rows of white spirals while Harley dotted the tunnels with smiley faces and archery targets and dicks until their cans were empty and the vents thoroughly smelled like dairy.
As if on cue, they heard the shower switch off- well, Peter and his super hearing did and he motioned to tell Harley this. They had ended up on opposite sides of the vent, divided by cream, so he mouthed “meet in living room,” before scurrying off on all fours, actually kinda looking like a spider.
⎊
The two boys were casually sitting on the sofa, watching some show on the TV while Steve and Natasha were cooking dinner in the kitchen when Clint stormed in through the doorway, entirely covered in white foam with an unhappy sneer painting his mouth. There was cream smeared even on his face and through his hair as well as all over his clothes and Peter and Harley could not help burst out laughing. They didn’t think the prank would work that well, but this was entirely perfect. Harley couldn’t breathe he was laughing so hard, and his body slumped to the floor as he gasped for air, his chest shaking.
The sound of him hitting the floor caused Steve to run to the doorway to see if something was wrong, but then the scene registered as he took in the sight of Clint: The Cream Monster and he dissolved into laughter too. Which caused Natasha to run over.
All of them almost in tears at him only served to make Clint angrier and he jabbed an accusing finger at Peter and Harley. “You. You two did this. You’re gonna pay- I just showered for fucks sake!”
“How-how did you manage to get it everywhere?!” Peter gasped, looking at the cream disbelievingly.
Clint sulked. “Cream is SLIPPY and I SLIPPED only to land in some more GODDAMN CREAM!” He barked at them, shooting daggers at all four traitors.
“But- it’s- it’s in your hair... and how’d you get it in your eyebrows, did you face plant into the floor?” Harley said and it only sent the four of them into deeper hysterics, so The Cream Monster span on his heel and stormed off, muttering angrily about showering and little bitch teenagers and traitor teammates and revenge before he disappeared around the corner.
Nat smirked at them before saying, “he’ll have forgotten about it by 10pm tonight,” and returned to the kitchen once she had given them approving looks.
Steve was trying to turn and glance at the boys scaldingly, about to tell them that pranks are no good and cruel but he just ended up laughing again which completely counteracted what he was about to say, so he just shook his head and went to join the spy in the kitchen.
Peter and Harley high fived, looking proud and smug and completely amused.
“So, who’s our next victim?”