Shambles

Almost a week had happened since they returned, four days and one night had happened and Steve hadn’t opened his eyes. Stiles couldn’t help it, he was still mad at the team and plain tired. He hadn’t exactly being in the tower, in fact he had been sleeping at the hospital every night, on the ugly, brown couch inside Steve’s room. It was hard and uncomfortable but in reality he didn’t  sleep much; between his rounds, new patients and monitoring Steve, there wasn’t any time left, but at least they were together and Stiles didn’t like the fact to leave him alone. 

He was surrounded by books and folders, catching up with his paperwork and rounds when someone cleared their throat, gaining Stiles attention, who only looked up and shortly stared at his brother, “Glad you’re here” He whispered honestly. 

“You need to shave” Tony answered, smiling, earning a mad glare from Stiles, who only rolled his eyes and focused back to his work. Tony watched him, he was pretty sure Stiles hadn’t even left the room for days, or get a bath at least. 

“Any changes?” Tony asked instead, scratching his chin. 

Stiles let out his breath as he left the folder beside him, he slowly stood up, twisting his mouth when his back protested in pain, “Not really, the injures are healing pretty well, I guess we just have to… wait” He answered walking toward him, before passing a hand through his hair and barely touching his cheek, watching the healing cut on his lip and forehead, he had gotten a pretty bad beat up.  

“Natasha told me what happened” Tony suddenly exclaimed, gaining a sudden hard stare from his brother,  “Is this really necessary?” He exclaimed, abruptly dropping his hand and taking a step away from both of them.

But Tony pretty much ignored Stiles question and entered the room, dragging his tired feet, “They were in Europe, Sweden to be more precise and well, I think they found other energy source, or at least got really near to one, they don’t know what attack him"

“Really Tony, I don’t need this, its fine” Stiles exclaimed urgently, taking other step away from Steve and his immobile body, he would never get used to see him so still, it was like punch right in the guts. He turned around and grabbed his white coat and pepers, walking out of the room, leaving his entire mess behind, “I need a fucking bath” He complained ignoring how Tony followed him. He only nodded quietly, he couldn’t argue with that. 

The moment he stared at his locker and found he had no clean clothes, or clothes that weren’t that dirty, he knew he would have to return to the tower. It wouldn’t last long, he just needed clean clothes, he would enter his room, grab them and return, easy peasy lemon squeeze. 

He actually, didn’t quite remember the last time he tele transported himself, so he almost threw up the moment he was inside his room, he put hand on his stomach and repressed a moan, “Damn it” He complained as he quickly went to his closet and started packing the few clothes he had left, most of them where already at Steve’s flat, which according with, the flat was now theirs, but Steve was an idiot in coma. 

“You're really going to stay at the hospital again?” Someone asked quietly from the door making Stiles flinch, he quickly turned around to find Scott leaning on the edge of the door. Stiles twisted his mouth, wondering when was the last time they had spoken or even seen each other, “When did you guys came back?”

Scott took a deep breath and passed a hand through his hair, trying to ignore Stiles usual childish game of answer a question with other one, “We returned yesterday, the entire pack” He explained entering the room. He stared at the dark pentagram and twisted his mouth. The first thing Scott did when they came back was try find him, he yelled his name all over the tower, ignoring how Natasha and Clint were telling him he was wasting his time. He had opened his room and stared at the cave of a satanic worshiper. In that exact moment he though his friend was starting to finally lose it.

“Hows Beacon Hills? I haven’t sensed anything out of the ordinary, I mean out of the supernatural world” Stiles whispered, closing his bag, finally facing Scott, suddenly Stiles realized he didn’t have much of a puppy face anymore. 

“Thats because nothing happened, at least supernatural, Lydia and Jackson had to stay back, trying to keep control over everything” 

Stiles nodded quietly, presumably someone would have to stay back, he just hopped it wasn’t Lydia. Maybe someone else, gratefully someone else. He wasn’t sure what to say next, so he kinda of smile at his friend and was ready to leave when Scott stopped him, “Are you gonna tell us what or who, you’re planing to invoke?”

Stiles gave him a long stare,  “How you know?”

Scott almost laughed at him, “Besides all this?” He asked pointing at the burned carpet, “I saw the book last night” He explained taking the forgotten book from the bed. Stiles watched his movements and twisted his mouth, “Its just an idea… I´m not even sure, Its too-“

“Dangerous?” Scott finished for him, raising his eyebrows and sitting on the bed as he opened the book and started passing pages. 

Stiles tilted his head, “Yeah, its a demon, more powerful than the one we invoke at Deaton´s, so I’m still doubting”

Scott nodded quietly as he quickly read words he couldn’t and didn’t want to understand, minutes passed until he spoke again, “Are you afraid?”

Stiles thought of the question, he would be a fool if he said he wasn’t, cause he was, truly was, he knew he would have to face himself again, “Yes, I am” He finally answered earning a short stare from Scott, who closed the book with a sonorous slap and hummed, “Guess you’ll be back to the hospital right now”

“I have to” 

“I´ll see you when you decide, I guess” Scott exclaimed, standing up with a sudden energy it made Stiles stepped back. 

“I´ll see you then Scottie”

He didn’t wait for an answer, either expected one. Things were weird among everyone, guess they were all digesting the recent fail victory the best way they could. It hadn’t exactly been easy on anyone and with Steve’s accident… well, everyones spirit was down. And Stiles one fell completely when he saw the hallway outside Steve’s room crowded as hell. His heart stopped, the panic froze him, it was too loud, he couldn’t feel anything less than panic. He ran, pushing everyone around him. He demanded for everyone to get the fuck out of his way until he saw him. He saw that stupid dork smile and his blue eyes, one of them still purple and his beaten cheekbone. 

“Fucking hell…” He breathed, earning Steve’s attention, immediately his smile was gone and Stiles he, he just wanted to cry. 

He raised his hand and put his fingers against his eyes, desperately asking his body to no cry in front of Natasha Romanov and Thor, cause they would never stop bothering him, but it was useless. He felt the tip of his fingers wet and a whining, disguised as a groan, came out of his mouth. 

“Stiles?” He heard Steve asked perplex. But everything he could do was shush him, raising his free hand as he turned around, giving him his back, “Just shut up Rogers” He complained, ignoring how odd his voice sounded. Crying was so stupid. 

“Are- are you crying?” He heard Steve’s stupidity asked out loud, “Is he crying?” He asked directly to one of his friends. 

And Stiles couldn’t hold on, he looked up, dropping his hand, showing, yes he actually was crying, if letting go four drops was actually crying, “I fucking hate so much” He whimpered walking toward him, taking him into his arms for the first time in so long. It felt so comforting and soft and god, Stiles didn’t think he would miss him that bad. 

“Well, its good to see you too” Steve answered before hugging him back. Stiles could actually acknowledge the smile behind his words. He managed to hear how Natasha whispered to Thor how grateful she was that he at least showered. Immediately Stiles straightened up and send her a pretty angry stare, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t still mad at them. Natasha pursed her lips and looked away, putting her hands inside her pockets.

“Hey” Steve whispered, putting a hand on Stiles cheek, earning his attention, “Don’t be mad at them, it wasn’t their fault”

But Stiles shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment, “I don’t care Steve, really I don’t, I’m just… I’m incredible exhausted” He answered back quietly, taking in the realization he was actually exhausted. He suddenly felt a tiredness that made his eyes heavy, “You’re awake”

“I am” 

“You’re alright”

“I am”

“You’re an idiot”

“So are you, besides, you cried”

Stiles opened his mouth for a few seconds, before letting out a weird, clearly uncomfortable crazy laugh. He stood up from the stretcher and put his hands on his waist as he kept laughing between teeth, “Yeah, right, let me check this sweaty” He exclaimed as he carefully took the folder with Steve’s datas from the nurse’s hand, completely ignoring Steve’s curious eyes in what the hell he was doing. 

“You had fever a couple of hours ago” He whispered, trying to ignore Steve’s exasperated sigh, “I told you I’m fine”

“I know you’re, I just don’t think you're feeling right, after all, you were out for almost six days Steve” He exclaimed looking at him in the eye, he still couldn’t believe he was wide awake and looking at him, he seemed as tired as Stiles, reasonable more, “You need to sleep” He added after a couple of seconds just looking at each other. 

Finally Steve looked down and twisted his mouth, as if he was still in pain. 

“You good?” Stiles asked immediately taking a step forward as Steve leaned on the back of the stretcher, “I’m alright” He answered raising his hand to stop Stiles, who only frowned slightly and dropped his hand. He opened his mouth hesitating for a few seconds before shaking his head, “I need to check on some patients, I´ll see you later alright?” He exclaimed before clearing his throat. He turned around, not waiting for an answer and ready to leave. 

“Check on him for me, alright honey?” He murmured directly to the nurse, handing her the papers. 

He quickly exited the room and didn’t turn back. 

*

As Stiles removed his gloves and cleaned his hands with soap and water, listening as the nurses and more doctors exited the operating room. He looked up and stared at the clock with big, red numbers on it. It was three am in the morning. He needed a good sleep and still, he wasn’t completely sure if returning back to Steve’s room was an actual good idea, he had just woken up and talking about what had happened, even seeing each other, was gonna made everything worse and it was too soon, he had just woken up, they needed more time. To be honest, he liked being at the hospital in the early mornings, it was calming, he could only hear the machines working, the soft air conditioner, it was kind of relaxing, despite the daily dead and drama. 

He sat on the floor, outside Steve’s room, staring at the blue door and hearing his beating heart. He kept bouncing his feet and biting his lip, what if he just say it back? Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea to fake it, cause eventually it would become real, he knew it, he knew he could feel it, he just needed time to got there. But no, he deserved more than that, he deserved someone that would love him no matter what, Stiles just hopped he was capable of it. How disappointing he was. 

“I thought you said you were tired” He heard Natasha exclaimed quietly, standing beside him. 

Stiles looked up and gave her a stare, “I’m always tired” He complained honestly. 

Natasha smirked and slowly sat down beside him, letting out a heavy sigh. For their surprise they fell into a comfortable silence, one Stiles was truly debating if breaking it was the right choice but it was her that spoke first.

“We think we found other energy source”

Stiles hesitate for a few seconds before answering, he didn’t have the strength to fake excitement, even tho it was a good new, an excellent one, “Tony mentioned something about that, are you guys sure?” He finally asked. 

“I think we are”

“I´ll check on it”

Another long, crushing silence, listening at the machines from Steve’s room working. Stiles ignored the need to walk toward him and lay in bed at his side, hug him tight from behind. 

“Stiles?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry”

“I’m sorry too”

After all, they both smiled. 

“Stiles?”

“What?”

“You should enter, he missed you, he missed you a lot”

Stiles remained quiet, he sent her a side stare, analyzing her cynical, little smile and shook his head before smirking, it was that little push he needed to finally act. He slowly stood up and gave her other look, still half smiling, “You’re a clever one, Natasha” He muttered between teeth before finally opening the room. It was perfectly silent and calm. Stiles felt as if he could breath better, he removed his coat and shoes and carefully walked toward the stretcher, he hesitated for a few seconds, rocking himself on his feet. 

“Alright…”He mumbled noticing Steve was carefully on his side, leaving an empty space beside him. It had to meant something. He finally climbed into the bed, slowly he put an arm around his waist, being extremely careful not to hurt him. 

“Took you long enough” He heard him whisper. 

Stiles smiled and kissed his shoulder, it had meant something.