CHAPTER ONE
The streets of New York were desert, covered in black shadows. Exposing how truly late it was in the early morning. Stiles put his hands inside his grey trench coat trying to gain some heat, he let out his breath, staring his steps and his black shinny shoes hitting against the pavement. It was the only hearing sound, everything was perfectly quiet, only an old cat meowing in the dark and a distant car. He didn’t like it, it reminded him of… home? he should called it that, he was supposed to call it his home. But everything was so fuzzy, all he could remember about Beacon Hills were tragedies, empty spaces, was he grateful about his pack? About Derek? All those memories about his mother and father? he was, truly was. But they were also… his demons; and everyday, one by one, they were pilling up behind him, like a perfect line. He closed his eyes for a moment and he could visualize their old apartment as if he was still there.
He snatched them opened and shook his head, hoping it had went better, hoping he had said better things, but it was done and he was sure he had chosen the right thing to do. Everything just became a routine, monotonous, and loving someone was supposed to be unexpected, abrupt, filled with surprises. He didn’t know the moment Derek and him started coexisting, so used to each other presence, instead of living. He hated the fact he completely missed it, hopping he had done something to fix it in time.
FLASHBACK
Stiles stared at his apartment for a long couple of seconds before sighing and finally giving up, he tiredly sat on the porch and rubbed the back of his head with weariness. He could nearly hear Derek´s head working from upstairs, he could visualize him passing in their living room, side to side, surely furious, taking out his own conclusions why his boyfriend arrived so late and sat outside almost every night.
For months, Stiles had just sat in the porch waiting for time to pass. At first, they were minutes, suddenly they were hours where he could peacefully be, instead of constantly fighting, all the time, every time he left the house, every time he arrived and for such stupid, little idiotic things, that actually covered up for the real problem they refused to see. They weren’t seeing the bigger picture, the real problem were them.
After what it felt like an eternity just staring at the night sky, he stood up and entered the building. The old elevator took a while to arrive, honestly Stiles didn’t know how Derek agreed to move together into the worst old building where things barely worked but it had been theirs and it was beautifully old. Stiles thought in a way, it remained Derek of his destroyed family house, he seemed comfortable and safe. Stiles was suddenly in front of the brownish red door with a big golden five in the middle of it. He heard Derek´s steps abruptly stopping, he knew Stiles was outside and he knew how coward he was being for staying out for so long.
“Can you just come in please?” He heard Derek ask exasperated. Stiles sighed and slowly opened the door, he couldn’t hide for life, he had to finish this.
The first thing Stiles noticed the moment he opened the door was the little white box in their coffee table. Stiles looked up and stared at his boyfriend, he was furious. Derek raised his eyebrows crossing his arms over his chest, popping his muscles, he knew that was Stiles weakness, the little asshole…
“Who the hell is T. S.?” He suddenly asked, looking so angry at Stiles, he was sure it was the first time he saw him like that. But all he could think, was his old brother was a complete utter crackhead and he was going to kill him. Stiles sighed and shook his head, this was gonna be hard to explain.
“Answer me Stiles” Derek suddenly said raising his voice, “Is he your sugar daddy or something?” He asked looking down as if he was ashamed for even thinking about it. And Stiles he just… laughed, because that simple question was so absurd it was funny but Derek seemed he was about to rip his head off, after all he didn’t know the truth and Stiles was sure he was being a gigantic asshole, but still, he couldn’t stop laughing, making Derek visibly madder and madder.
“Are- are you for real?” He asked between laughs holding his stomach. But Derek growled at him, snapping his arms to the air, “Don’t play with me Stiles!” He yelled walking to the little table, snatching the box with anger, before tearing the white paper, revealing a black box, “What the fuck is this?!” He asked before opening it, showing a watch, a beautiful silver watch that, oh my god, Tony why? seemed more expensive than their apartment.
Stiles stopped laughing and twisted his mouth, it wasn’t comical, not even close. He deeply sighed, “I´m not cheating on you” He assured him, trying to sound as honest as he truly was but Derek shook his head, taking several steps back, as if Stiles was physically hurting him. Stiles let out his breath ignoring the pain and immediately walked toward him, he put his hands on Derek´s face, making the man look at him in the eye, “I´m not cheating on you” Stiles repeated stronger slowly rubbing his thumbs against Derek´s skin, removing the small wrinkles. Derek frowned concerned, his breathing every time more superficial, “Listen to my heart, I´m not lying, listen” He whispered.
Derek closed his eyes and slowly shook his head before leaning against Stiles hand, “But something has changed” He mumbled staring at him heartbroken. Stiles looked deeply into Derek´s beautiful green eyes, he had woken up so many times in front of those eyes, he had lived with those eyes for three years. He dropped his hands and took a step back, “But something has changed” He answered looking down, taking with precaution the black box from his hand, he stared at the silver watch and sighed.
Derek didn’t even realize it was gone from his grip, he felt as if his heart was completely gone. He shook his head and dropped himself on the couch, he looked up at Stiles, who was awkwardly switching his weight of one foot to another.
“I am so sorry Derek” Stiles murmured feeling his chest every time heavier. Derek closed his fists feeling his claws digging in his flesh, he knew the moment Stiles started staying at the porch instead of with him in bed, he knew something had broken between them. They changed without noticing, hell, Derek wasn’t even sure what changed.
“But I´m tired of this” Stiles added slowly, finally leaning against a chair, feeling his legs gave in. He fought the tears back and took deep breaths before finally saying it out loud, “We´re over”
Derek closed his eyes and tosed his head back, its for the best, he kept telling himself, but it didn’t felt like it was for best, it felt as if someone had teared his heart apart into a thousand pieces. He suddenly stood up, “I can’t do this” He exclaimed feeling so anxious he began walking side to side, “I can’t do this Stiles” He added feeling the tears running through his cheeks, he finally stopped in front of him, “I love you” He mumbled so painfully honest, before pulling Stiles, his Stiles, against his chest, putting his arms around him, squeezing so hard Stiles had to gasp for air, but he didn’t care.
Stiles squeezed his eyes closed and finally the tears he was holding on, slipped down his cheeks, he hugged Derek too, “I love you too, god, I love you so much Derek Hale” He replied trying and failing for his voice to sound steady. Derek knew him to well to see he was faking. Stiles gently pushed him away before making something he would regret, “This is incredibly sad” He said quietly, shaking his head, once again he looked up and stared at his first love. He half smiled before attracting Derek´s lips to him in a short agonizing kiss.
It lasted too little, Stiles pushed him away unable to control himself and quickly walked away to their old bedroom. He could hear Derek´s crying and it was slowly making him fall into pieces. He quickly packed some of his clothes and stuff in a suitcase. He gave one last look at his room, his bed for the past three years but he had to look away when he felt the nostalgia being too much, crashing his bones. He entered the living room, where Derek was still in the same spot, unable to move. Stiles bit the inside of his cheek looking away, he walked to his forgotten present and gently, took it into his hand, why did it had to hurt so much?
He quickly walked to the door, only momentary stopping to leave his old key inside their usual key bowl, filled with gum and more old candies. Stiles closed his eyes and took one last deep breath.
“Goodbye Derek”
And he was out of his life.
His ride to Scott was emotional hell, he couldn’t even remember how he got there but suddenly he was outside his house, bag on his hand and eyes swollen and red. It was four am in the morning and he knew he was being an idiot, if Scott had woken him up at such hour he sure as hell would blew him away but this was about his first love, a part of his life was now gone, shivered into dust, disappearing through this fingers, unable for him to stop it. He leaned on the porch before ringing the bell again, he felt as if his head could explode any moment. Stiles kicked the door before punching it, his best friend was a bloody werewolf, he was pretty sure he could hear the bell ringing like five times.
“Scott please” He said raising his voice, closing his eyes. When he was about to just surrender, the door wide opened and a pretty bad tempered Scott in his underwear appeared in front of him. He tiredly rubbed his eyes, “What the hell…” He began but immediately shut up when he saw his friend.
Stiles opened his mouth but immediately closed it when he felt his chest heavy as a tone of rocks. Saying it out loud only made it more real, a fucking fact. Immediately Scott was hugging him as if his life depended on it, “You guys are over, right?” He asked quietly. Closing his eyes with sorrow when Stiles nodded repeatedly against his shoulder.
Once inside Stiles was quietly sitting in the couch, staring at nothing and everything at the same time, he kept snapping his fingers, making a little flame appeared with every movement. Scott patiently waited for his friend to say something, anything or just fall asleep. Stiles bit his lip before speaking.
“I have a brother” He suddenly exclaimed standing up making Scott look up and lean against his seat, trying to hide his surprise, “I have a brother and he… he sent me a present for me to visit him and Derek found it and thought…” Stiles mumbled, shutting up when he felt his throat closing up, the tears threatening to appear again. He shook his head, “One more problem to our complicated relationship and I just… couldn’t do it anymore” He added frowning, staring at the floor, feeling the heaviness of his choices.
He wide opened his eyes, “I left him…” He whispered before snapping into reality, “Oh my god, I left Derek fucking Hale, my self teenager would literally kill me right now” He added before walking straight to the kitchen, where he knew Scott had liquor for Stiles. He took out a bottle of vodka and didn’t bother to pour it into a glass. Scott frowned worried watching his best friend swallow and swallow, pure, straight vodka. He shook his head, “I know you need to get drunk and just feel it and deal with it but give me that… killing yourself won’t work” He murmured taking away the bottle, he put it on the table beside them and grabbed Stiles arm.
“What do you mean you have a freaking brother?” He asked quietly and a little bit in shock. But he remembered, in that moment it was about Stiles and only Stiles.
Stiles stared at him for what it felt an eternity, he sighed and took the bottle back. Scott pulled a face and stepped back but didn’t say anything.
Finally Stiles cleaned his mouth, embracing the burning sensation in his throat, it was better than a broken heart, “Remember eight years ago, when my father was on the hospital. you know before… well, dying?” Stiles asked looking somewhere behind Scott, who was only able to nod, not wanting to remember those awful days, “Well, the last time I spoke to him, he- he told me he wasn’t my real father” Stiles began quietly, ignoring Scott´s surprised puppy eyes. Stiles let his head fall, “My mother had a fling before knowing my father and well… he raised me as his and literally told that seconds before dying” He complained dropping on the floor with the bottle on his hand.
Scott looked everywhere trying to find some sense but he couldn’t, specially why it was the first time he heard about this brother in eight fucking years and how they didn’t realize until now. He kneeled in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder, he had no idea how to comfort his friend. Stiles frowned and looked up, he stared at the hand before Scott, “What are you doing?” He asked before laughing. Scott dropped his hand and laughed too. It was awkwardly painful and funny.
“Im sorry, I have no idea how to do this” He replied laughing louder. Stiles sighed before shrugging, his life had been reduced to him laying in his best friend´s kitchen floor with a bottle of vodka. Scott offered him a hand and Stiles gladly took it, standing up with effort.
“You mind telling me who your brother is?” He asked as he lead him to the living room again. Stiles smirked dropping himself in the couch, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you”
Scott frowned confused, “Try me”
Stiles stared at his friend a few seconds and shook his head, he should tell him, it was Scott, his best friend since they were wanky children but he knew once it was out, he would look at him differently and he wasn’t ready for that. He shook his head again and took a long sip. Scott sighed and nodded taking the hint, “Whenever you’re ready buddy” He answered smiling at him. Stiles would be lying if he said he didn’t whimper a little, he sniffle and leaned against Scott´s shoulder, “I´m leaving to New York” He mumbled surprising even himself. He hadn’t actually thought about it, but right then it seemed the most healthy choice and he did need a break from the town and everything but Scott was already up, staring at him as if he was mental.
“What?!” He asked, wide opening his eyes, “What do you mean New York?!”
Stiles twisted his mouth as he sat correctly, he scratched his neck, “My brother lives there and I just… I want- I need to leave” He answered as if it was obvious, “I feel stuck here and I need to move on” He added throwing his arms to the air. He took other sip from the bottle, it was almost done.
Scott remained silent for a few seconds before nodding, as if he had made up his mind, “Do you… want me to come with you?” He asked as he walked away to the kitchen and for Stiles surprise he came back with other bottle. Stiles smiled with fond and smirked.
“Yes please”
END OF FLASHBACK
He smiled at the thought of seeing Scott after weeks of being completely alone. He had arrived two weeks earlier than he had told Tony, it had been a good opportunity to think things over, to breath on his own.
A sudden noice was heard, a small step. He quickly looked up, he stopped moving and looked around him, he knew he wasn’t alone, he could feel some eyes on him, but he couldn’t see anything behind the shadows. He was about to regain his walk when he suddenly felt a blow on the right side of his body, hitting his ribs. He crashed against the wall, the punch pushing the air out if his lungs.
Stiles growled deeply at the mystery man as he recovered himself when he felt a cutting edge on his stomach. Stiles rolled his eyes and nearly laughed as he easily disarmed the guy. With strength he took him from the shirt collar and crashed him against the wall, his feet above the floor for several centimeters. Using the same pocket knife that was against his stomach, he pressed it against the mans throat, “Did you really tried to rob me with a fucking razor?” Stiles asked madly, pressing harder. The man chocked in his own fear.
Stiles looked at his coat and cursed out loud, he was covered in dirty water and dirt, “I just fucking bought this” He complained raising his voice before letting the man go, who fell hard against the floor, coughing, trying to catch his breath. Stiles groaned shaking himself and threw the knife away.
“Im pretty sure it looked better in the manikin” A metallic cheeky voice spoke. Stiles looked up to see the one and only iron man flying carelessly above them. Stiles rolled his eyes putting his hands inside his pockets again. The robber looked up too in completely shock filled with horror, “Oh my god, it is Iron-“
Before he could finished his sentence, Stiles knocked him out with a punch straight in his face.
“Good to see you brother” Stiles answered back, raising his hand. Even with the mask on Stiles could visualize him twisting his mouth, half glad to see him, half worried for the intent of robbery. But his brother land in front of him, already his mask retreating, showing the old Tony Stark. He smiled at seeing his little brother, he quickly took his hand with emotion, “Good to se you too St-“
One minute they where standing in the dark alley and in the other in the common floor of the avengers tower. Tony looked around him astonish, it would always amazed him how his little brother kept surprising him every time they saw each other, “What the hell Stiles?” He asked as his armor removed from him, piece by piece, “How do you even know about the floors of this place?” He asked more perplex. Stiles smirked sitting on the couch.
“I still have some tricks op un my sleeve, old man” He answered back before showing off a cocky smile. Tony narrowed his eyes and took a while watching at Stiles, he seemed… tired and somehow older, it seemed he was trying too hard to hide the fact he was sick of everything. Tony knew the feeling too well and he knew how to recognize it, “You look like shit” He answered walking to his mini bar. Stiles laughed under his breath but didn’t answer, he didn’t have one.
Tony pour two glasses of neat whisky, “What happened?” He asked walking toward him. Stiles took the glass and took a sip, “How did you find me?” He asked instead, making Tony rolled his eyes, ignoring the childish game, answer a question with other one.
“I too have a few tricks op un my sleeve dear brother” He answered before waving his eyebrows at Stiles mad stare. Tony took a deep breath and remained silent, taking a few sips from his drink. Stiles narrowed his eyes and stared at his brother, he knew what Tony was doing, getting into Stiles nerves, looking innocent and handsome and totally idiotic. He looked away mad but Tony eyes followed him, he wasn’t even sure the man blinked.
Stiles was starting to feel anxious under those eyes, he had always hated when people looked at him, it made him feel exposed. He sighed exasperated, “I left Derek” He finally hissed angry, finishing his drink in a sip. He stood up and walked to the large windows, taking in the perfect view of New York City. Stiles half smiled with sadness, “He thought you were my sugar daddy” He added quietly, smiling amused at Tonys perplex eyes, “What?!” He asked in complete shock before laughing his ass out, “Thank you very much for the fucking watch” He mumbled before laughing too. It was better than anything.
They laughed until they held their stomachs. Stiles stared at his brother laughing his ass out and for a moment he had the certain, everything would be a little less worse. He had made the right choice, no matter how bad it had hurt, no matter the consequences, maybe he was right where he was supposed to be.
“You're staying in the tower, I don’t care what you think” Tony exclaimed brining two more bottles of whisky, yeah maybe he truly was where he was supposed to be.