I'm Colder Than This Home
Loki spent so long crying that he couldn't do it anymore. But this was different. He wasn't angry. He wasn't sad. He was in...disbelief. He knows Tony loves him but right now, he doesn't feel like it. He needed to talk to someone. Just anyone.
"Brother, are you alright?" Thor suddenly appeared.
"No." Loki broke down. "Gods, no."
"What happened?"
"I told him."
"How did he take it?"
"Bad. Very bad."
Thor comforted Loki as he broke down. Loki held his stomach as Thor rubbed his back.
"I know he loves me but at that moment, I felt he didn't." Loki sobbed.
"What moment?" Thor asked.
"He told me to get rid of it."
Thor went still.
"He said he didn't mean it but god, I felt like he didn't love me anymore." Loki continued. "He even told me he loves me so much but lately, I feel like we're over."
"Leave then." Thor echoed Bruce's words.
"I can't. I love him. We have a child together. I just can't."
"You mean you won't."
"He needs me."
"Loki, Sigrid needs you. But more importantly, you need someone right now. Let me help you, brother. Just like you've helped me."
Then it happened.
"Tony almost raped me. Then I had sex with him that same day." Loki blurted out.
"WHAT?" Thor was enraged.
"He wasn't drunk. He was hungover, angry and jealous. I was trying to make him feel better. Then I found out I was with child."
Thor was speechless. He didn't pull away from Loki but he was in shock.
"He's starting to slip too. He won't come near me now. Sigrid is smart too. She's starting to notice so I thought maybe sending her to Asgard to visit Frigga and Odin would help her. And sending Jane with her was a good idea." Loki began to ramble. "I do want another child with Tony but not like this. Especially after his outburst. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."
Thor shook his head. He could not believe what Loki was saying. That wasn't his brother. This wasn't Loki.
"Loki, listen to yourself. This isn't right. It hasn't been right for a long time." Thor growled, seething with rage.
"We were getting better. We really were. Sometimes he drank but he was Sigrid's father again. And all she ever wants is to be with him." Loki wasn't really talking to Thor anymore.
"Loki, just stop. None of this is on you. Don't go making excuses for Tony. Don't ruin Sigrid's life by ruining yourself."
"I'm not."
"You gave me the strength to be able to break. You have been helping me through Jane's cancer. But you're ruining Sigrid because you're letting yourself be destroyed again. But it's worse this time because Tony is breaking you. Because you're pretending it all doesn't matter. Just because he's sorry and tells you he loves you doesn't mean it won't happen again. I mean Loki, look at the damn drinking. It's a horror show."
"Maybe I can fix him. I am the one who broke him in the first place."
"Because why? You got depressed? Or because Magni was lost? It happens. It's life. I will admit he did good when you fell into the depression but he was no better. He still isn't any better because you did something. Yet you're letting him hurt you."
"I love him. And he loves me."
"I know but don't let him hurt you too. And don't let him hurt Sigrid."
"He would never. He loves her."
"He was supposed to never hurt you either and look what happened."
"What am I to do?"
"We'll figure it out afterwards."
"What do you mean?"