Chapter 5 - Cookies
Ishiyama Ken had never been a fan of Mondays, most people weren’t, but he was sort of looking forward to this one.
Not because he expected that Nedzu’s beginning of the year lecture would spontaneously become interesting or, god forbid, short and concise. (Nedzu probably did that on purpose, probably knew the exact speed and tone and volume to talk at to make someone the most likely to fall asleep.)
No, he was looking forward to a time honored tradition at UA, betting.
Specifically on how many students Aizawa would expel and how long it’d take him to do so.
His good, if exhausted, mood was dampened when he entered the teacher’s lounge to be greeted by an absurd amount of cookies.
Either someone had royally pissed off Lunch Rush, or something was very wrong with Aizawa.
(He refused to even consider the fact that Nedzu might have finally decided to capitalize on the strange backwards reaction the staff had towards cookies as some kind of twisted experiment.)
Yamada was on the couch, happily munching on one of the cookies. That didn’t mean much, Yamada had weird tastes.
Aizawa was under the table, cocooned in his bright yellow abomination of a sleeping bag. That also did not mean much.
He needed to leave before-
“Ishiyama! Good morning!”
…Fuck.
“Good morning Kayama,” he warily eyed the tupperware of cookies on her desk. “I’m not being your guinea pig,”
She laughed.
“Relax, I already got Yagi to try one! They’re incredibly delicious,”
“You used the newbie as your guinea pig?”
(And wasn’t he an interesting new addition to the staff, All Might’s secretary, though Ishiyama couldn’t fathom why on Earth the man would choose to work at UA as well. Maybe All Might owed Nedzu a favor.)
“Guinea pig is such a weak word, I prefer willing sacrifice,”
“Terrifying,”
“Don’t let her lie to you, Yagi couldn’t eat them, something about an old injury to his stomach,”
Ishiyama froze, cookie halfway to his mouth. Kayama pouted.
“You’re no fun Maijima, who are we gonna get to try these now?”
Maijima shrugged.
“I owed him for coming in on his day off to help fix the labs after exams,” he plopped heavily into his chair with a sigh, coffee in hand, before pointing at him threateningly.
“And this makes us even,”
“Sure, but let’s see how long the labs last before I’m needed again,”
Maijima groaned.
Kurose giggled from their desk.
Kan walked into the room and immediately paused as the majority of the room swiveled to stare at him with poorly concealed malice.
He sighed, deeply, Ishiyama could relate to that on a spiritual level.
“Hizashi, how are the cookies?”
“Hey morning Sekijiro! They’re super good! You want one?”
“Hmm, Eraser, did you make all of these?”
Aizawa grunted.
Was that an affirmative or a negative grunt? Was it worth the risk either way?
Kan certainly seemed to think so.
“Sure I’ll take a cookie,”
They all watched with bated breath as Kan took a bite.
He chewed, swallowed, nodded, all with a perfectly straight face.
He looked them all dead in the eyes, and then said absolutely nothing.
“You absolute bastard,” whispered Kayama.
Ishiyama sighed and went to sit at his own desk, only to glance over to see Kurose happily munching on one of the cookies. They winked at him and put a finger to their lips before finishing the cookie and putting their helmet back on.
Well, far be it for him to ruin their fun.