“Stop!” Peter shouted weakly as he limped towards Happy and the Stark private jet. The older man’s eyes widened in confusion but he complied, halting and holding his hands up in surrender.
“Tell me something only you would know,” the teen said, his face pale and his voice tentative- untrusting. How did he know this wasn’t another one of Mysterio’s games?
Happy hesitated for a brief second, trying to think of something he could use to assure the hero who looked so broken, and saw that Peter’s eyes filled with tears at his lack of an immediate answer. In his haste to reassure the boy, he blurted out some random, inconsequential story about private videos bought in Germany that resulted in Peter releasing a breath so deep that Happy wondered if he’d been breathing at all in the last few minutes.
Content that Happy was indeed who he had hoped he was, Peter limped the rest of the way through the brightly coloured tulips and collapsed into the security guard’s arms. The hug was brief but comforting- exactly what Peter had needed.
“Happy,” the boy whispered desperately into the older man’s ear, “I’ve messed up. I’ve messed up so badly. How do I fix it? How do I make it better?”
They broke apart and Happy looked at the boy in the eye, searching for an explanation. “I know you, Peter Parker, and I know that whatever has happened, however bad it is, it would not have been your intention. We’re going to fix this, you hear me?”
Peter nodded, and Happy saw the same determination hardening in those chocolate eyes that he had seen in Tony’s a thousand times. The resemblance didn’t upset him as much as he thought it would.
When they boarded the jet, Peter sat opposite Happy, his head hanging in his hands in the universal gesture of defeat.
“Now, why don’t you calm down and tell me what’s happened?” Happy said, trying to exude the confidence that Tony had always used when he needed to quell the teen’s panic or anxiety. In times of uncertainty, Peter took solace in anything and anyone that could provide him with the certainty that his fact-centered mind so desired.
“I gave- I gave the glasses to Mysterio, Happy. He’s gonna use it to kill Ned and MJ and the rest of my class and half of Europe so don’t tell me to calm down!” The boy yelled angrily, so out of character that Happy just blinked, before he deflated like a burst balloon. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, eyes downcast, “I shouldn’t have shouted at you. It’s just … I gave him the only thing that Mr Stark left for me and now it’s gone. I was too stupid to realise what was going on and now I’ve let Mr Stark down and given our enemy the most powerful tech in the world. How am I gonna get it back? How do I keep everyone safe from danger that I’ve caused?”
A tear slipped down the hero’s cheek and he swiped it away hastily. His eyes flickered to meet Happy’s, searching for something that the older man couldn’t decipher, before settling back to his hands as he fidgeted with them in his lap.
“What do I do?” the boy finally asked, his voice cracking with emotion so badly the final half of the question was barely distinguishable.
Happy couldn’t help but gently place a hand on the kid’s shoulder- Spider-man has never seemed so lost and broken.
“Oh, kid,” he sighed, and Peter flinched harshly at the term of endearment he had only ever heard from his mentor.
“Tony would be so disappointed in me,” the teen murmured, and this time a sob forced its way to the surface: a sound of such anguish and torment escaping Peter’s lips as he clenched his eyes shut tightly against the tears spilling down his cheeks that Happy couldn’t help but draw him into another hug.
“Tony would never be disappointed in you, Peter. He thought the world of you, there was no doubt about it, but he knew firsthand that nobody can be perfect. Tony made more than his fair share of mistakes, he’d never expect you to live a perfect life. Please don’t think that he’d have done anything less than have bought you Ben and Jerry’s and helped you make a plan to fix this. I don’t think he would have done what he did if he didn’t know that you’d still be here after he was gone.”
Happy suddenly remembered something and he jumped to his feet, ignoring Peter jumping back in his seat from surprise.
“Oh my God,” Happy muttered, rushing to the back of the jet’s cabin. “Oh my God.”
“What, Happy?” Peter asked in alarm. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” the older man exclaimed as an uncharacteristic grin split across his face. “I just remembered that Tony can tell you himself! This was what he was talking about!”
Peter felt his heart stop, and the jet’s lights suddenly seemed way too bright.
“What?” he asked, feeling like the world was tilting on its axis. “What does that mean?”
The head of security reached up and opened a compartment that Peter hadn’t even registered, letting out a triumphant noise as he took out a Stark laptop. He hurried back to the teen, handing him the device and turning it on. Generic tropical island lock screen wallpaper popped up and Peter pressed the mousepad, a password bar appearing that asked for an 8 digit code. The hero blanched and looked to Happy, who shrugged.
“Before … what happened, Tony realised that he’d need to prepare things for those he was leaving behind,” Happy explained, his voice thick. “He recorded messages for each of Morgan’s birthdays until she’s 21, he left messages for Pepper, he left me and Rhodey some too. He believed in you, kid, but he knew you don’t always believe in yourself. He knew that, and made you a video about legacy and hero antics, etcetera etcetera. That’s what’s on the laptop. So the password will be something you know, too.”
It took Peter a moment to comprehend what he’d just been told; Tony had thought he was worthy enough to leave him a message? He knew the billionaire had liked him, that much was evident from the suit updates and the real internship he’d been doing since after the events of his homecoming- but to leave him a message like he thought of Peter as his family? Peter had always thought of Tony as a father-figure, but he hadn’t known the feeling may had been reciprocated by the older man. The teen couldn’t get his head round it.
He turned his thoughts to the password, closing his eyes as he wracked his brain.
Something that, realistically, only he and Tony would know.
Nothing too generic that it could be easily guessed.
A code that Peter would be able to work out by himself.
Eight letters.
He felt desperation begin to claw up his throat. He shook his head to clear anything clouding his thinking process, before his eyes blew open and his hands flew across the keyboard. The password box turned green, and Peter felt relief flood through him unlike any relief he’d ever experienced before.
Underoos.
Tony’s favourite nickname for him. Peter had always wanted to argue against it - he wanted a more heroic nickname - but at first he’d been to big of a fan of Iron-Man to disapprove of his actions, and after that he’d found it endearing.
The lock screen dissolved until settling on a video message; from underneath the play button, Peter could see his mentor sitting in his favourite armchair, the EDITH glasses in place, and his breath caught.
Flashes of green, projected magic. Blue flickers as the illusion gave way to a graveyard. A crooked tombstone fills Peter’s vision, the name ‘Anthony Edward Stark’ engraved in simple cursive. “If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive,” Mysterio hisses, and Peter claps his hands over his mouth to stifle a sob. Mysterio was right, this was all his fault. Why hadn’t he been better? Tried harder? Suddenly, a destroyed, faulty version of the Iron-man suit emerges from its coffin, one eye haunted and trained solely on Peter, the other hollow and filled with dark spiders. The spiders scuttle towards Peter, who scampers backwards, just fast enough to evade the vice grip of the iron-man arm reaching towards him. Everything jolts to black as the illusion fades.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” the teen said quietly, not taking his eyes off of the image of his father-figure as Mysterio’s words slammed through his mind.
If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive.
“Yes, you can, Peter,” Happy said firmly, but not unkindly. “He knew that you’d need this reassurance.”
“I just miss him,” the young hero whispered, voice cracking and eyes filling with tears. “Everywhere I go, I see his face. I miss him so much, a-and all the reporters keep asking me t-to replace him but I can’t, Happy, I can’t because I’m not ready for him to be gone. Everyone I love dies and I d-don’t want him to be gone too, Happy, please. He can’t be- he c-can’t-“
Happy pulled him into a hug and Peter dissolved into heaving sobs that wracked his whole body at the contact.
“I miss him too,” Happy murmured. “He was my best friend, but he always made his own decisions.”
The teen sniffled, but Happy could see that determination seeping back into his eyes. The boy pressed play before he could convince himself otherwise.
——————
Peter’s eyes flickered over the whole screen as the video began, not wanting to miss a single detail despite knowing he’d repeat the video more than a few times.
Tony was sat in his armchair, in loose jeans and a faded MIT jumper. His hair hadn’t been styled yet, and his EDITH glasses were hanging over the base of the V of the jumper’s V-neck. This reminder of how Tony had been with Peter, when he felt like he could truly be himself with his young mentee, caused the teen’s breath to catch. He missed seeing Tony being himself.
“Hey, underoos,” Tony greeted with a small smile on his face, and if Peter thought seeing Tony through this video was painful, hearing his voice and being called underoos again was excruciating. Peter couldn’t bring himself to mind the pain.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I do know that Strange gave up the time stone to save my life, and that must mean something.” Tony’s tone was conversational- like they were having one of their usual discussions about suit upgrades rather than the fate of the planet and Tony’s self-sacrifice. “If he could only see us winning 1 out of 14 million odd fights, you can be damn well sure that I’m bringing you all home, no matter what the cost. I have to get you back, Pete, I have to.”
Peter felt something wet on his face and lifted a hand up, unsurprised by the tears falling. He glanced up to Happy, who was watching the video with a face that the teen could see he was struggling to keep neutral. Peter took Happy’s hand in his, and when the head of security looked at him like he’d lost his mind, the young hero just shot him a reassuring smile. Happy didn’t pull his hand away.
“It’s been 5 years since we’ve worked in the lab, or gone on a Spider and Iron patrol, or eaten pizzas that you insist have pineapple on, or watched Star Wars, and I need you to be alive, Pete. The world needs Spider-man to live, but I need Peter Parker to live.” Tony’s eyes softened, and his voice grew quieter as he continued speaking.
“I know you, Pete, so I know what you’ll be thinking if this fight with Thanos really does kill me: you’ll feel guilty, and you’ll feel like you have to step up without giving yourself time to grieve. If there’s anything you take away from this message, even if it’s just one thing, it needs to be this: you don’t owe anyone anything.”
Peter felt like all the air had been sucked out of him as he watched the video intently. He distantly felt Happy squeeze his hand.
“First - and I hope you’re taking notes underoos- take time out if you need, don’t take time out if you need, just do what you need to, not what you think the world needs you to do. I don’t know what’s going to happen to the rest of the team in this fight, but you have no duty to join the Avengers or recruit more heroes if you’d prefer to stay based in Queens. Ignore everyone except those you trust and your own instincts, ok kid? You can’t save anyone else if you’re too preoccupied doing something you feel pressured into to save yourself first.
“Second - and I’m trusting you not to post any of these as motivational Tony Stark soundbites - none of this is or ever will be your fault. I’ve known for the last 5 years that this is how it has to end. You’re … you’re gone, kid, and I’m sitting here talking to my Iron-man helmet. The point I'm making is that I already know how this fight is gonna go, and you’re not even on this planet. You had no way to know what was going to happen, but I did, and I’m facing it head on. I don’t want you to feel bad about this, Pete, that’s the last thing I want. Yes, I’m doing this to bring you back, but I’m also doing this to bring everyone back. You think I can cope with the talking raccoon whining about his band of intergalactic freaky friends having dusted for one more second if I could do something about it?”
A laugh made its way past the teen’s lips and on instinct Peter lifted his hand to the screen, resting his palm against Tony’s cheek and closing his eyes. He took a few deep, stuttering breaths before refocusing.
On screen, Tony closed his own eyes briefly, taking a moment to collect himself, before looking directly into the camera. Peter could almost convince himself that his mentor was in front of him, looking him straight in the eye the way he used to when he needed the teen to understand that he was being completely sincere.
“Peter,” Tony began, voice steady and constant, “what you have to know is that I care about you. A lot. I know that Rhodey always takes the piss out of me for helicopter parenting and giving you 500+ web shooter combos but he’s right. It took me a while to see that, through all the denial and absolute terror that I’d fuck up with you as badly as my father did with me. I really, really hope I didn’t, kiddo. I think we make a pretty great team. The truth is, after Morgan was born, I realised that haven’t a kid wasn’t a foreign feeling. Because I already have one; I have you, kid, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to protect the two of you. If I need to sacrifice myself to wipe that grape-ass alien off the face of our universe? I won’t hesitate because it will keep you, and Morgan, and the rest of the team, and the world safe. And if that’s what it comes to, I want you to know that I would never regret it.” Tony’s voice became thick with tears, and Peter leaned his head against Happy’s shoulder as he starts to cry openly. It’s painful, hearing his mentor’s voice again, saying all these things that Peter knows he needed to hear, but it is helping. Unconventionally.
“The only regret I’ll have is knowing that I won’t be there to see you and Morgan grow up into the wonderful, selfless, loving people that I know you both are. I love you both- more than I ever thought loving was possible, but it doesn’t seem so scary anymore.”
Tony took a deep breath that sounded choked, wiping both eyes with the palms of his hands. Next time he spoke, his voice didn’t waver.
“You mean the world to me, Pete, and I don’t want you feeling guilty, or pressured into taking on more responsibility than you’re ready for, or ever doubting how I feel about you. I love you 3000.”
The man smiled into the camera, throwing up a peace sign, and the screen slowly faded to black.
Happy and Peter were silent for a long while, before Peter stood up and closed the laptop. His back was straight, feet shoulder-width apart. The head of security saw that determination in his eyes, like Tony had put it back there himself.
Old embers sparking new flames.
“So what’s the plan, kid?” Happy asked.
Peter looked him in the eye, a smile on his lips.
“I’m going to kick Mysterio’s ass and get EDITH back. I’m going to save the world.”