74th - part 5
johanna’s pov
I woke up in the worst kind of mood this morning. Unbridled rage. I wanted to hit something, get myself in a fight, whatever it took to purge the anger and make everyone around me feel a fraction as pissed off as me. And I was determined to stay angry all day, just to spite the world.
But Katniss Everdeen—that fucking asshole—made me laugh, and I couldn’t stay angry after that.
Which really doesn’t make sense at all, because I’m always angry. I never run out of things to be angry about. I could live forever and still never get over it. And normally, I’d be able to hang onto my shitty mood without trying. I’d laugh for a minute, then get right back to hating everything.
Here’s what scares me the most about this: my older brother knew exactly how to do the same thing to me. Sure, sometimes he was the reason I was in a bad mood to begin with, but if he wanted to, he could make me laugh til I couldn’t breathe and everything would go back to normal. I know it’s lame, but Brit was my best friend. No matter what, he always knew how to make me laugh through the pain.
So if Katniss can suddenly do that? I really don’t know what to think.
I decide to put it out of my mind for now and focus on the Games again. This alliance isn’t the worst idea, but it’ll need to go smoothly, and there’s about a million different ways for it to fall apart. I’m gonna have to make sure Lance and Holly are on the same page about splitting as soon as the Careers are dead, and I’m gonna have to make sure that any sponsors we get with the 12s are interested in staying with us after the split, not the 12s. And that’s if everyone even manages to survive that long.
It’s stressing me the fuck out, so I take a long shower and go to bed.
Haymitch doesn’t come over and sit with us to avoid looking too much like an alliance, but Katniss passes information to him and lets us know what he’s thinking, so it’s almost like he’s participating in the planning. Not that there’s a whole lot of planning going on, since we’re always afraid someone might overhear and honestly? There’s really not much to plan at this point. So much of this alliance’s success will depend on things completely out of our control.
But we know that Lance needs to get an ax, no matter what. Cole is alright with a knife, so that would be ideal. Santhe has a decent idea of edible plants. Holly can run, if the situation calls for it, and she’s actually not a total idiot. Between her and Santhe, they should be able to come up with a plan that won’t fail miserably.
I’m really not expecting anything too exciting from the evaluations. Blight, Katniss, and I agree that it’s more of a chance to check our judgments about the competition than focus on our own tributes’ scores. If there’s someone else to worry about besides the Careers, this is the moment where we’ll see it.
But to my surprise, Lance actually manages to score a 9. It’s good, because it’ll help with sponsors, but also fucking terrible, because it means the Careers will probably be on his ass from the start. Holly gets a 6, which is fine. I can work with that. And both tributes from 12 earn a 7, which is perfect. Just enough to get sponsors in the beginning, but not enough to pose a threat to Lance.
I hate when I have to think like this, weighing the odds and hoping that other kids will die so that mine has a better chance. It never fails to make me sick to my stomach. But, like always, I tell myself that I have to think like this because my tributes are counting on me. I owe it to them to try my best. Play the game.
The interviews roll around, so it’s time to see if the kids can play the game on their own. Blight goes to Lance’s dressing room, leaving me with Holly. She’s going to play an innocent angle because she really can’t do anything else believably, so I go over some questions with her as she pulls on her sundress and watch the other interviews when I can.
It only takes me until the girl from 3 to realize that they’re all playing a star-crossed lovers angle.
I storm out of the room and into Lance’s, nearly running smack into Blight. “Have you been watching?” He shakes his head and I have to try not to take it out on him. “They’re all doing the star-crossed lovers bit. And at first I was like, ‘dumbasses, there’s no way it’ll work twice in a row.’ But if everyone tries to use it…”
The realization dawns on Blight’s face. “You think we should play along?”
“I don’t know. What do you think?”
“Well, I doubt it’ll work twice. But I don’t think we’d want to be the odd ones out, if everyone else is trying to argue for two winners,” he reasons, stroking his beard as he thinks, “because then it definitely won’t work. But what about Katniss and Haymitch’s tributes?”
“I think by then they’ll have to realize what’s happening. Haymitch will, at least.”
“Johanna, you don’t think…,” his face looks seriously concerned as he leans in and whispers, “this is something else?”
I don’t answer. I can’t think of how to talk about this here, where we’re definitely on surveillance cameras. But I’ve cautiously suspected it ever since Branch Herrington was shot during Katniss’s Victory Tour.
“If it is,” Blight adds, “then there’s really no way the Capitol will go for it, and we could be putting the kids at risk if we join in.”
“No, you know what, I doubt it’s that, actually,” I suddenly say as the idea hits me. “Think about it. Why would 1, 2, and 3 want to do that? I think they’re just trying to save their tributes’ asses, and if the Capitol thinks it’s…more than that…then that’s not in our control.”
Blight nods. “So we should tell ours to do it?”
“I think so. And she should be the one to say it, because it’ll play into her innocence.” I hold my hands under my chin, bat my eyelashes, and croon, “he’s just so tall and handsome, but how could he ever want little old me?” as Blight shakes his head exasperatedly.
“Should he reciprocate it?”
I shrug. “Up to you and him.” As I walk back to Holly’s dressing room, I almost hope I run into Katniss, to give her a warning about what we’re about to do. But the walk isn’t that far, and suddenly I’m back with Holly.
“Change of plans,” I tell her. “You’re in love with Lance.”
She protests, like I figured she would. “Why?” she demands, and I point at the screen where yet another tribute is confessing their desire for their district partner. I can see her start to understand, but then her brow furrows. “But everyone’s doing it.”
“Exactly, genius. So you’ll be the odd ones out if you don’t play along. Plus, if everyone does it, they might have to listen.”
Her face perks up at this and I know I’ve convinced her.