Returning and Reacquainting
"You eat instant food how many times a week?" Happy Hogan choked out spinning to face Peter. He looked slightly aghast.
After getting his bus Peter had met Happy at the airport and they had both proceeded onto the Stark Industries jet. They had just landed in New York after an uneventful hour-long flight from Boston.
"Um…" Peter said thinking about it for a second as he hefted his duffle bag over his shoulder. "Probably like five nights a week? Depends on my work load and if anyone is cooking in the flat."
"Five nights-" Happy sputtered and shook his head. "Peter, just because you have a fast metabolism doesn't mean you can eat microwave food every night!"
"I know, I know." Peter said following Happy down the stairs that lead from the jet to the tarmac of the air strip. "Please don't tell May."
"You bet I'm telling her, right after I cook a nice lasagne so you can have something real to eat." Happy said shaking his head as he led Peter over to the car which was ready waiting for them.
"You cook?" Peter said, his tone disbelieving.
"No need to sound so surprised." Happy grumbled opening the driver’s side of the car.
"I didn't-" Peter said stopping by the passenger door and raising his hands in defence but grinning nonetheless.
"I'll have you know your aunt loves my cooking." Happy said pointing a joking, yet simultaneously accusatory finger at Peter.
"Yeah yeah, I don't need to hear anything else about that." Peter said surrendering and getting into the car.
"That's what I thought." Happy muttered triumphantly starting the car’s engine and pulling away from the air strip. Despite himself, Happy smiled sideways at Peter. "It's good to have you back kid."
Peter grinned in return. This drive had become routine for Peter since he had moved to MIT. Each weekend, or at least every other if he didn't have the time to spare, Happy would fly down to Massachusetts to pick Peter up. The routine worked remarkably well, on most Friday’s Peter’s last class was at 11am so he pretty much had the whole afternoon to get back to New York. Peter wasn't entirely sure why Happy came himself when there was likely any number of other SI staff members who could make the trip. Peter couldn’t help the guilt that he felt each time they made the journey and had tried to convince Pepper that he was just as useful in Massachusetts as he was in New York. Pepper tried her best to assure Peter that it wasn't a hassle and for his part, Peter tried not to let it bother him.
"Anything been happening in New York that I've missed?" Peter asked shifting in the comfortable seat and turning his head to watch the familiar scenery flash past.
"Not really, things have been quite busy with everything happening this weekend - speaking of which…" Happy said almost to himself, flicking on the indicator and switching lanes.
"Whattt…." Peter began and watched as the car diverted from the familiar route that they normally took.
"Pepper needed me to pick up Morgan after I picked you up." Happy explained indicating again and changing lanes before pressing his foot to the accelerator - sending them down the highway at a speed that made even Peter's teeth chatter a little.
The drive passed quickly, and not just because of Happy's driving. Everything seemed to be moving fast for Peter these days - all his deadlines with school or SI or the Avengers seemed to approach far too quickly. At some point along the drive Happy put the radio on and flicked between stations for a bit before giving up when he realised that all that was playing was advertisements or trashy music. They talked a little here and there, but most Peter had his black research notebook open and was scribbling down thoughts and equations as they came to him.
"You really got to learn to take a break otherwise you're going to burn out kid." Happy said his voice tinged with concern.
"You've been spending too much time around May," Peter said shrugging and striking through a line of working out as he spoke, "I'm fine."
"May might be pretty on top of that whole healthy lifestyle balance stuff but that isn't where I've learnt it from. I know that look Peter." Happy said taking a left.
"Hmm?" Peter murmured glancing up from his paper as Happy pulled the car into the carpark out front of Morgan's school.
"I know that look," Happy repeated looking slightly peeved at Peter’s seeming indifference to what he was saying but the irritation was overshadowed by the concern in his eyes, "because I saw it every time Tony was working on a project and hadn't left the house in three weeks."
Peter's pen fell slack in his hand, and he capped the ballpoint, swallowing nervously. What was he supposed to say to that? There wasn't much he could do right now about taking a break; his current projects and college workload didn’t allow for breaks.
"I'm fine Hap, really." Peter said lifting his eyes to meet the older man’s gaze and smiled convincingly. "Don't worry."
Happy seemed to doubt this for a second but Peter put on his best relaxed smile and Happy, finally, relented. "Alright then, Morgan's in there go and get her."
"What?"
"Come on the bell rung ten minutes ago and she's waiting."
"Why am I going?"
"Her teacher has a bit of a thing for me and it makes me uncomfortable." Happy said somehow managing to look a little pleased with himself as he said it.
"Righttttt…" Peter said shoving his notebook into his duffle bag along with his pen. "Remember what I said about you hurting May?"
"Relax kid, that's why I’m sending you in instead. And like I'd ever dare do anything to wrong that woman." Happy shook his head in disbelief as though the very idea was absurd.
"Yeah you're one lucky guy you remember that ok? Otherwise-"
"Yeah yeah I get it, just go get her." Happy said smiling as Peter shut the door behind him and strode off towards the reception of the school.
As Peter stepped through the entrance doors and glanced at the imposing red brick of the surrounding walls, he realised that he didn't know which classroom Morgan was even in. That wasn't much of a problem because almost as soon as the glass door to reception had thudded softly behind him, did he hear the high-pitched voice of Morgan Stark.
"Peter!" She cried jumping up from the row of seats that she had been perched at along with several other students whose parents hadn't picked them up yet. A woman with horn rimmed glasses and a tight, brunette bun had been overseeing the students and turned to see the visitor. Based on her appearance, Peter figured she was the strict type, however at seeing who had come through the doors there was only one word that could possibly describe her expression; disappointment. Peter felt the faint urge to laugh.
"Hey Morgan." Peter said crouching slightly to give Tony and Pepper’s daughter a hug.
"I though Happy was picking me up?" She said looking up at him with slightly furrowed brows.
"He's just waiting out in the car." Peter assured her and then pouted playfully, "does that mean you aren't excited to see me?"
"Nooo…" Morgan whined, "that's not what I meant."
Peter laughed and squeezed her shoulder, "I know I'm just kidding, come on let's go."
He took her tiny, red backpack from her shoulders and held it in one hand, using the other to take Morgan's hand as she led the way out of the school building. Peter smiled a sort of goodbye to the teacher who had been minding the children and tried not to laugh as she looked slightly forlornly after them as they exited the building. He had honestly thought Happy had been joking but it seemed he had been 100% serious.
"How long are you back for?" Morgan said swinging Peter's arm back and forth between them as they strolled down the meticulously manicured lawns to Happy's waiting sedan in the carpark.
"Just for Thanksgiving." Peter said swinging her arm back.
"Oh." Morgan said disappointedly.
"But I'll be back in two weeks for a longer break over Christmas." Peter assured her as they reached the car and he opened the back door for her.
"Hey kiddo how was school?" Happy said craning his head around as Morgan hopped up into the car.
"Good." Morgan said sweetly, smiling as Peter helped her with her seatbelt.
"The first thing she did was ask where you were." Peter said frowning as he clicked Morgan's seatbelt in securely and shut her door to get in on his own side.
Happy gasped in fake enthusiasm and Peter pretended to sulk. "That's not what I meant." Morgan complained and stuck her tongue out at Peter.
"Seriously! I'm gone for two weeks and suddenly you're the favourite?" Peter said throwing his hands up in fake outrage as Happy pulled out of the parking lot.
"Peterrrr…" Morgan whined pretending to scowl at him but Peter just turned around and stuck his tongue out at her in response.
"Oh yeah real mature Pete, stick your tongue out at the five-year-old why don't you. You're supposed to be a positive role model." Happy said.
"I'm five and a half." Morgan snapped folding her arms and Happy sighed.
"Yes, you're right, my mistake, five and a half."
Peter slipped his key into the lock of his and May's apartment and twisted, listening for the tell-tale click of the mechanism. Peter had tried to convince her to let him install better, more technologically advanced locks but May had insisted that 'those things can be hacked - these old ones can't'. Naturally, Peter had responded with 'oh yeah of course, unless your guest has, I don't know… superpowers? Or a strong kick?'. This point hadn't dissuaded his aunt though, so his house key was the only 'real' key that Peter still had.
Peter had just been dropped out of the front of the building by Happy and Morgan before they both continued onto Stark Industries where Pepper was waiting. Morgan had been reluctant for Peter to leave but Peter had departed with the promise of being at Thanksgiving lunch the next day.
Peter stepped over the threshold of the apartment. All things considered, he hadn’t actually spent a lot of time in there. Between working in the SI lab over the Summer, often staying overnight, and then moving in October, Peter didn’t feel the place was really home at all. Their old apartment had been lost during the five-year gap after the landlady had put it out to let, given that May and Peter weren’t exactly around to pay the mounting rent.
Peter dumped his duffle bag on one of the chairs sticking out next to the dining table and sighed. May clearly wasn't home yet. Peter slouched over to the kitchen and turned the tap on, cupping his hands beneath the spout and splashing his face with chilly water. It did the trick and he felt a little more alert as he swiped the water from his eyes. Suddenly noticing that thirst had crept up on him he extended his arm in the direction of the shelves on the left. He bent his fingers to his palm and waited expectantly for the cup to fly off the shelf and into his palm. Ok… so maybe the cold water hadn't done quite a good enough job of waking him up.
Peter almost laughed at himself as he walked over to retrieve a cup manually, perhaps he had been wearing his web shooters too often in the lab back at MIT. Peter filled the cup up and guzzled the water, he hadn't realised quite the extent of his need for hydration. Probably not a good sign, Peter thought as he set the glass down next to the sink.
“Peter?” May’s voice came from the front door and Peter ducked out of the kitchen and into the entry hall to receive her.
“Hey May.” Peter grinned walking up to his aunt and giving her a tight hug.
“Honey how come you didn’t close the door after you?” May asked drawing back and frowning at the door she had just come through.
“Oh… huh I guess I just forgot.” Peter shrugged and reached past her to shut it firmly.
Peter didn’t see the concern in his aunt’s eyes as he went back into the dining room and sat at the table.
“How are you doing? Everything good with college?”
“Yeah everything is great, classes all going smoothly.” Peter said shrugging and tapping his fingers absentmindedly on the worn wood of the dining table. It was the same one they’d had in the old apartment, Lisa, their elderly landlady, had been kind enough to put their old furniture in a storage unit. There had been a lot of that during the five years post-Snap, people holding onto the things that their relatives and friends had left behind as though they might return. It restored a little of Peter’s faith in humanity.
“And everything else? How have you been feeling?” May asked as she walked into the kitchen and put the kettle on to make her usual cup of tea that Peter knew she had each day when she got back from work. She started each day with coffee and ended it with a cup of tea and had done for as long as Peter could remember.
“Pretty good, a little tired but otherwise I’m fine. Looking forward to the Christmas break though.” Peter said laughing as he unzipped his duffle bag and retrieved his black notebook.
“I bet you are.” May said above the bubbling whine of the kettle. “Any assignments due this week? Do they give you a break for Thanksgiving?”
“Not this week but two next week,” Peter called back scrawling a few notes down and pulling his Stark Industries tablet out to compare with the schematics from his lab back at MIT. As he opened the tablet a series of notifications flashed up. “I’ll have to get them done on Monday and Tuesday because I have stuff to do this weekend.” The notifications were evidence enough of that and Peter swiped them away for later.
“I know you’re busy and you have a lot of responsibilities, but can you take at least one day off this weekend? You’ve got four days off college and you haven’t been home in two weeks.”
“I’ve already taken most of today off.” Peter replied half paying attention to the conversation and half working on the numbers in front of him.
“Well no more working today ok?” May said walking over and shutting his notebook.
“Peter, reminder that you have unanswered messages from MJ regarding your pre-arranged meeting this afternoon.” Karen said from his tablet.
“Shit.” Peter muttered.
Peter opened up his messages on the tablet and looked at what MJ had sent him earlier that morning.
MJ: We’re still on for 5 today right? 8:32a.m.
MJ: Peter come on! Answer??? 10:02 a.m.
MJ: ur literally constantly around technology pls answer 3:21 p.m.
Peter groaned and ran a hand over his face.
“How are things going with MJ?” May asked genially as she came over to the table and sat in the chair at the head of it.
“I don’t really know May.” Peter said shaking his head and rubbing at his eyes. “It’s hard being far away from each other and we don’t get to talk a lot.”
“You mean, you don’t make the time to talk a lot.” May said wryly and Peter scowled. “It’s not about having the free time to talk it’s about making the time.” She dunked the tea bag in and out of the boiling water of her mug thoughtfully.
Peter didn’t really know what to say to that, so he just made a noise of agreement and typed a note back to MJ.
Peter: Sorry! Been a crazy day but yes all on for tonight. 3:46 p.m.
Peter: looking forward to seeing u! 3:46 p.m.
As an afterthought, he added the second message to make up for not answering her sooner.
“I’ll be out tonight.” Peter told May, reluctantly turning off his tablet once the messages were sent.
“Don’t forget the appointment I made for you at four.” She said sipping on her tea.
“What?” Peter said in confusion and mild despair. Perhaps he should have brought George with him, it seemed he wasn’t any good at keeping his own schedule under control without the AI.
“Counselling with Dr Sam.” May said slowly as though that would make Peter remember the appointment any clearer.
“What? Today but I thought—"
“I told you last time, each weekend you are back I am going to book an appointment for you because you refuse to get a new counsellor at MIT – you know the college offers student support services.” May said and Peter groaned as the lecturing began.
“I don’t need it anymore, May.” Peter insisted, pushing his fingers through his hair in frustration, “I’m fine.” It was the second time he’d had to tell someone that today and he couldn’t figure out for the life of him why no one was buying it.
“You’re fine when Dr Sam says you’re fine, once she gives you the all clear to stop your sessions then we can discuss that but for now I want you to keep going.” May said firmly before turning her attention to her cup of tea, which she blew on gently.
“I’m not grieving anymore, May.” Peter complained and the certainty with which he said it felt semi-real at least. “I’m really fine.” This time he said it with the most convincing smile he could muster.
Soon after the memorial back in May, Peter had started seeing a psychologist by the name of Dr. Samantha Gregor. As per May’s orders, Peter had met with her for one hour, once a week on Thursday afternoons. Each session had followed a similar structure, Sam liked structure, ‘We need to bring back structure to your life, Peter’ she’d say. Peter would talk for the first half of the session with Sam interjecting with bits of advice or the odd ‘tell me more about that’. Peter found that once he got talking it was difficult to stop, there was something about Sam that just made the words tumble out of his mouth. Sometimes he would trail off and not be sure what to say next, expecting for Sam to jump in. Annoyingly, she would remain quiet and those silent moments as Sam waited patiently for him to talk was enough to get the words flowing again.
The second half of the session usually involved talking about coping mechanisms, discussing Peter’s day to day life and things he could potentially change to make it easier for him to move on and live in a new world. His first few sessions had focused quite a bit on getting Peter through the last few weeks of school because his grades had been falling, ‘considering everything, Peter, it is very normal for your performance to drop’ Sam had assured him and by the end of the month Peter was more or less back on his feet school-wise.
Over the months Peter had gotten better and soon Sam’s voice in his head telling him to ‘breathe slower, remember your counting’or ‘don’t put your brick wall up Peter’had become his voice, sometimes cycling to Karen’s artificial voice, to May’s comforting tones, eventually coming back to his own voice. Sometimes it even became Tony’s voice telling Peter to breathe in through his nose and out through his mouth or count the number of blue things that he could see in the room with him. And as the months had gone on Peter had found himself less and less reliant on such techniques and finally felt himself falling back into a sense of normalcy. Going to MIT had been a blessing not just because of the opportunities but because Peter was moving away from a lot of what reminded him of Tony.
And as Peter had healed, he had found it easier to do the things that had once sent him into shivering panic attacks post Snap. Each day he woke up and tried to be better, do better, and follow the example that Tony had set even if his mentor had always said that he wanted Peter to be better than him.
As far as Peter was concerned, he was better now, in fact he was better than better. He was thriving at college and getting great grades, his work at Stark Industries was going well and so was everything with the Avengers. On the weekends he was Spider-Man and during the week he was Peter Parker. He had his best friend in one state and his sort of girlfriend in the other state. His life was great.
May’s fingers snapped in front of Peter’s face and he jumped. “Earth to Peter?”
“What?” He said shaking his head and coming back down to reality.
“I was saying it’s not just about the grief, this is about you learning to deal with anything else that might come your way. I know that you’ve chosen the Spider-Man path but that comes with—”
“I know May,” Peter said putting on a smile, “and I’ll go to the session today ok? I’m sorry I just forgot that it was on that’s all.”
May frowned, apparently having expected more resistance and suspicious of Peter’s change of attitude. “Alright.” She said slowly, “You better get ready though because it starts at four.”
“I’ll go get changed,” Peter sighed getting to his feet and pushing the dining chair out behind him. “After counselling I’ll go straight to meet MJ is that alright?”
“All fine, just stay safe and text me when you know what time you’ll be home – don’t forget to take your keys.”
Peter nodded and smiled as he left May to finish her tea. He might be a genetically modified superhero capable of climbing walls and swinging from great heights but sometimes having someone worry about you was nice, even if there was little cause for it. If anything, it made Peter feel slightly normal again, which was always a nice feeling these days. It was something to distract him from his college work, Spider-Man pressures, his commitment to Stark Industries and the Avengers, and of course his top-secret personal project, Chronos.