Poppies

Personal notes of Colin James:

I offered to postpone the remaining interviews I had scheduled, but most of them said that they wanted to talk. They've been really lucky this time around. They've been hurt, certainly, Serena's the only one who has died, though, come to think of it.

This book is going to be my last, though. If there's another resurrection down the line, I'm going to find something else to do. Following superheroes is nervewracking and it's been both a blessing and a curse to know the Avengers as well as I do. Based on my initial interviews with her, I'd have never thought that Alex Barnes would be so intriguing, but then... I didn't know then what I know now. At least I got most of her interviews out of the way before she was killed. If I'd proposed it earlier, I don't think she'd have done it, but with retirement, she'd wanted to turn over a new leaf, I think. And I think she wanted it to be known what she'd done. Not in a personal glorification, but just to set the record straight. After the battle in Egypt, questions about Valkyrie would pop up, people wondering what happened, if she was just a coward for quitting.

CJ: Thanks for speaking with me. I know this is a difficult time for you.

Bucky Barnes: Her death was a shock, but... not unexpected, you know? She gave up Valkyrie, but she didn't give up doing good. Although lately it was limited to doing things like tripping a purse snatcher and lecturing him until the cops arrived. (Laughs) But Alex wasn't comfortable being known for those abilities. She could have joined the Avengers at any time during her first life or in her second; Tony made it clear that all she had to do was say the word. The Justice League, too, she has more than her fair share of friends there. But she saw the cost of what I went through and she wouldn't be moved. Part of the superhero thing includes a certain selfishness in personal relationships, because you have to put the greater good above individuals, and Alex doesn't like hurting the people she loves. Natasha's death from cancer hit her hard; Natasha'd been a mentor and Hawkeye had taught her archery, this really marked her and reinforced her decision not to join in her first life. And in her second life, she had her family and that business. She always teased Tony about his business empire but she built one herself. But her core strength was a desire to help others. She took what I'd taught her for her self-defense and started early. She helped me out here and there with teaching while she was in high school, then when she went to college, she found a gym that was an unofficial meeting place for enhanced kids. Some of them just wanted to train but others wanted to be street-level heroes, and she taught them how to fight. It wasn't hard for Stark to convince her to take up training the Avengers. I think she would have gone to work for Wayne when her business failed, going to and from work with Damian was a powerful incentive, if Stark hadn't thrown in the offer to take over for me.

CJ: Did she ever figure out why her first business failed, the one that catered to the street-level heroes? Because if ever a bunch of people needed help like that, it's those folks.

BB: Yeah, actually. Most of the street-level heroes are young. It's a terribly hard job, and life expectancy is a an issue, but even more pressing is the injuries that limit a career. Turned out that they couldn't afford to pay, most of them, and were too proud to accept charity. It took a long time for them to come around to the idea; it wasn't until the clinic was moved out of Avenger Tower and thus away from that shadow that they started to warm up to the idea. When funding arrived from the state, that's when they really started to use the services. She was just ahead of her time. And I hate to say it, but she'd have been wasted there. With her background she was able to innovate aspects of training that I'd have never thought of, fine-tuning training for each individual and working with the physios to maximize recovery from wounds or injuries. And look what she accomplished as the head of Stark Labs.

CJ: I suspected that there's a lot more to her than she was willing to talk about, that first time I interviewed her for the last edition of the Avengers biography.

Steve Rogers: She never did like to talk about herself much. But any time I think I'm getting too big for my britches, I remember how we met and that deflates my head. (laughs)

CJ: So you sort of adopted her as your niece?

SR: Well, no, it was more like she allowed me to be an uncle to her. Buck really missed her when he first came to Folkvangr and didn't talk about her much, but there wasn't anybody happier than him when he found that she was in Valhalla. Then he told me all about her, well, not all, because there were things that he respected her privacy about, but I was envious of that relationship. And after awhile she started to relate to me as an uncle too, I think as kind of a favor for Buck, and that kind of filled a gap in my life. I never had children til after the Return, and this was more than I expected. She's one of the toughest people I've ever met, but she has some soft and fragile places that she guards very carefully. She chooses her companions carefully, so it was pretty much an honor to receive that for myself.

BB: When Alex gets on a tear, the best thing you can do is step back, let her do her thing, and support her where you can. (laughs) She whipped Odin into shape, and believe me, that was not an easy task.

CJ: Do you think she's back in Valhalla, or does that even exist now that Ragnarok's over?

BB: I know she's there, Thor and Loki both confirmed it for the family. Valhalla never ceased to exist; it's where heroes repose, after all. It was just empty for a time. Alex was a true valkyrie from the moment she first accepted the charge.

CJ: Why didn't she ever come out and say she was Valkyrie? Or, I guess, why did she wait so long?

BB: An odd mix of caution, plus she didn't want to be hassled about not choosing to be a superhero. (shakes his head) When there was the trial over the release of the Ragnarok documentary, you should have seen the reaction she got. Most people who sent messages were really hateful, called her a freak and worse, and she even got death threats. That's really why she proposed letting the world see the valkyries, really, during the trial. In their glory. For the most part. She wasn't going to take any crap about it, and it was also a way to reassure people that they weren't out of control psychos. She made herself not be afraid of the negative reaction. But that all affected her. She's a lot like Stevie, whose motto might as well be that the strong protect the weak and I think it hurt her that people didn't necessarily see that when they looked at the valkyries. She really loved her wings and I know that she missed just being able to fly. She did at her home, where access was controlled and she could be private, but it wasn't the same. But after the battle, she wanted a peaceful life and she built a really amazing business, one that let her have a considerable impact for good. I was glad that she was being seen for herself, not as Tony's employee or her husband's wife, but for her own skills.

CJ: What were the wings like for her?

BB: She loved them, which was good, considering the price she paid for them. She almost died, and when she became a valkyrie again, the bond was different, so her wings were different. She didn't know that until after the battle, of course.

CJ: Right, she pissed Odin off, he broke the bond, which would have led to a slow death, and couldn't establish it the same way again.

BB: Right. Somehow the bond was made to the World Tree, which is the source of the valkyries' power anyway, but Odin acted as the conduit. So when Odin was killed and returned to Valhalla, her wings didn't fade because the World Tree still lives. She used to get so irritable when they molted. They itched. (snorts a laugh) But in true Alex style, she made the most of them. She got Tony and Emma to work on a coating that strengthened the feathers for combat and the later versions stiffened the edges enough that they could cut. A sword and a shield all in one. Anything that kept her safer was a bonus to me.

SR: She picked up traditional weapons like I never could, aside from the shield. I'm much better with guns. And she made beautiful blades. Of course, she had hundreds of years to hone her skills.

BB: It was a treat, aesthetically speaking, to watch her fight with those two swords of hers. Her mutations made her more graceful, and once she got into hard training, that dance combat thing was really spectacular. It was gratifying to be her teacher, she really paid attention and did her best to master the material. She never took the easy way out or slacked off.

CJ: That scared the shit out of me, actually, just seeing that. Somebody who moved like that, so beautifully, shouldn't be so deadly. Bucky, what would you say the biggest difference in Alex was between her first and second lives?

BB: Huh. (thinks) I guess I would say that she really knows herself, her strengths and weaknesses, and she doesn't bother to cover them up. As long as I've known her, she's had a pretty good awareness of her abilities and a good sense of what the consequences were likely to be if she acted. For example, before she met me the first time, it wasn't just a matter of getting her courage up to meet somebody who was, frankly, pretty dodgy. (Rogers laughs) She wanted family around; hers was in a different state and she's very attuned to being part of a family. So she thought through what it was likely to be like if I acknowledged her as family or if I didn't, so she'd be prepared. It was a big deal for her; she was unsure and kind of timid back then, but she never lacked courage. It turned out to be not at all what she was expecting, she didn't think I'd take such an interest in her, but she got what she hoped for--family--so the rest was just extra.

CJ: Why did you take her under your wing?

BB: Well, she was family, but more importantly, from the beginning, she expected me to be the kind of guy your book presented me as. A reformed assassin, plus she had stories from my sister Becca about the family. She was aware that I still hadn't reconciled what I'd had to do, but she was never afraid of that darkness inside me. And I really wanted to live up to her conception of me. She turned out to be really good training for me as a dad, this time around. I'd have been a terrible dad back then, what with all my issues. It was kind of terrifying to realize how much she trusted me. And it meant a lot to me that she wasn't scared of me, that she recognized that I had things I could teach her, and, I think, she realized on some level that she could help me too although she never articulated that. (pause) She's big on reclamation projects. First me, then Tony, then Damian. That kid also discovered what it meant to be her friend, and he had a long way to go to measure up as husband potential. (all three laugh)

CJ: Now, Steve, you're justly famous as a fashion designer, and I guess the women adore how you've interpreted past eras of design that they're familiar with and comfortable with but updated with your own unique vision. (Rogers nods, a little embarrassed, and Barns smirks at him) You've got Emma Harrington as your wife, and her admiration for your talent and skills is well known. How did Alex come to be your muse?

SR: Emma was really supportive of my work, especially when we were Avengers together and I could design her costumes. Part of that was that she wanted me to remember that I had other strengths too, and to force the others to acknowledge it too. But she's a creature of habit; she acquires pieces she likes and wears them to death, only reluctantly adding to her wardrobe. But Alex loved fashion, she had wonderful taste, and like Emma, she wanted to make it possible for others to see what I could do. She bailed me out at crucial points in my career by modeling for me, both when I was a student and that first collection, and she had the ability to make anything look good. Which was fortunate for me. (Barnes drops his head back and groans at the ceiling) I respected her judgment about what she liked and didn't, she always had sound reasons and demanded good construction, and this kind of guided me until I developed my style. And she was a really good sport about wearing my clothes. She really helped me establish my house.

(Barnes punches Roger's arm. Hard) BB: You know she loved your clothes, punk. The detail you put into them really mattered to her, and the way you used classic techniques and production methods. The only reason that she wore other designers was because it was politic to do so, but her favorite outfits were yours. She always said it was like you understood exactly what she wanted and that her outfits made her look better than she should. That green velvet gown with the silver embroidery and that flapper dress you made for the opening of her Valkyrie building were some of her most cherished possessions. It's even in her will that the family has to preserve them as long as possible. In case there's another resurrection, she wants them back. (Rogers snorts, embarrassed.)

***

CJ: Thanks for making the time to talk to me, Tony.

Tony Stark: My pleasure. Alex never got the credit she deserved. (snorts) She'd probably tease me that I hogged all the limelight anyway.

CJ: You guys were pretty close even though your romantic relationship failed.

TS: Alex is very perceptive, and in our first lives she felt that some people were taking advantage of what I had to offer but not really respecting me, and she was determined that she wouldn't be one of those people. You always knew where you stood with her, and she never wanted a handout. When she went to meet her uncle, it wasn't about what he could do for her in terms of getting to hang around an Avenger, anything material. She refused his offer to pay for college, but then she got scholarships to cover everything. It was just that she wanted to meet her family, and she saw how isolated he was too. During our first lives, I was more than twice her age and her boss besides, there was nothing going on there, but it was very satisfying for me when she consented to be my protege, even if it was the opportunity to work with Barnes that brought her to the company. Her sense of loyalty is enormous. Then after, we were just two people in the same afterlife and we related differently then. But I knew that there'd always be a part of her that loved Wayne, I'd never have all of her love, so that was the end of our romantic relationship because I wanted all of it. Come to think of it, she taught me a lot of what I know about good relationships, between two equals. I certainly didn't see that at home. Without it, I don't think I'd have been able to have a lasting relationship with Ann. But that didn't mean that I didn't value Alex or wasn't grateful for her friendship and indulgence. Because let's be frank, I'm not the easiest person to be around. And you really can't overstate her good qualities. You found yourself wanting to be the person she thought you were. Or not; I didn't admit it to myself at the time, but after her first job with me blew up, I didn't want to be the complete asshole she thought I was. It took a lot of baby steps to start to correct that. Not that she was perfect; she could be sarcastic, snarky, she had a temper, wasn't shy about sharing her opinions, as people *coughs*Odin*coughs* found out, and if you didn't live up to her expectations, you felt like you let her down. But these were easy to dismiss because she was just pretty awesome.

CJ: Barnes says that she's back in Valhalla.

TS: I'm not at all surprised.

CJ: Do you want to go back too?

TS: Honestly, no. I'm hoping for a more technologically-advanced afterlife when it's time, after a lot more time has elapsed.

CJ: You'll miss her.

TS: Absolutely, but I'm also pretty sure that she's found ways into other afterlives so that she can visit anybody she wants. Maybe not the Egyptians, though. They creeped the hell out of her. Me too, if we're being honest. Those gods... they were like nothing I've ever seen. I prefer more normal gods, ones you can reason with.

CJ: (Taunting) Manipulate. Browbeat.

TS: (Primly) Those are your words. (Devilish grin)

***

CJ: How are you holding up?

Damian Wayne: (managing a smile) I've been better. Alex was my heart. It's a cold and colorless world without her. I should be grateful, and I am, that we shared two lifetimes. It's just that I promised her we'd grow old together. (A couple of tears roll down his face) I guess I shouldn't make promises I can't keep. These days, sixty is still middle age.

CJ: Are you sure you want to talk about her right now? We can postpone. You're not looking so good.

DW: (half-laughing) I know I look like shit. I'm not sleeping so well without her beside me. And I miss Eira, too. She went back to Asgard. Alex told her to go and live her life after she was gone, that Eira knew where to find her when her time came. She didn't want Eira to sacrifice herself the way Sigurd and Torburn did when Emma died. Besides, it helps to talk about her. Alfred is gutted, so are her brother, parents, Miles and Iris, although Martha and Xander are handling it better, but they've done this before. It's new to the rest of us, having to live without her. Without her, I'd have probably been an adult version of the spoiled, selfish kid that I was when I met her. I probably would have gotten married and divorced because I didn't really know how transformative the right love can be. I keep thinking, "Oh, I have to tell Alex this" and then I remember.

CJ: At least you're not alone, though. Well, tell me what she was thinking when she told the world that she was Valkyrie. It was a very dramatic announcement, those enormous wings appearing. She wore them like a cloak.

DW: Well, it was one of those times where politicians were railing against superheroes and the damage they cause, some were calling them out as demons, you know, which is counterproductive because there are so few people willing to be heroes these days. No shortage of the villains, though. (James nods) And she'd just made the decision to retire so that we could spend more time together. She felt that her legacy with her company was secure. (bites his lip as his eyes fill) She was a little testy, plus the wings were finishing a molt. She was still a little itchy. So somebody cornered her, asking how she could defend freaks like her and her uncle. She kind of lost her temper and told him to come to a press conference she'd arrange in a week. That would give her feathers the last bit of time they needed to come in new and magnificent. She was just tired of people ragging on the heroes. You can't satisfy everybody, and heroes either cause too much damage, they don't prevent everybody from being hurt and killed, they're in it for the ego... you've heard it all. (James nods, and Wayne begins to laugh) She got Steve to make a special order. He knew what she was going to do and made the most beautiful dress for her to wear. Apparently it looked similar to a dress Frigga had given her in Valhalla, green velvet with real silver embroidery,discreet openings on her back, with these cute little green velvet slippers. She strode out onto the platform she'd had set up in the lobby of Valkyrie, the dress flowing beautifully, and gave the press seven kinds of hell for always being derogatory about the heroes, the street-level ones as well as the supers, that they should be thankful that there were people around who were willing to save their ungrateful asses, and that they should think long and hard about what the heroes endure on their behalf if they were that upset about the declining number of people willing to put on a costume and risk their lives. (James laughed)

CJ: Then she stopped, looked around, and smiled. Some dumbass said she was a hypocrite because she'd completely bailed in this life, at least she'd been a trainer before. Then those wings just materialized and the crowd gasped. She let us have a good look, then drew a feather and chucked it at the dumbass. It stuck in his shoe. 'You might have known me as Valkyrie,' she said, and the place was just silent for an electrifying second before the questions just exploded.

DW: (nodding) It all boiled down to accusations that she was selfish for being a vigilante, for not joining a team. She draped her wings around her and said that she didn't owe anybody, that being a hero is a matter of individual choice, and that she already helped save their sorry selves once, she wasn't going to do it time after time, and that she'd faced gods and criminals, and that this should be enough for them. Then somebody called her an abomination. I was ready to rip whoever it was apart, but she just smiled. 'Jealous?' she asked mockingly. "All of this is why I wasn't willing to be a hero. Why should I put up with being called a freak of nature and an abomination when literally all I get is criticism, name calling, and calls to either lock me up or kill me? I have a great life with a wonderful family, and I've done more than my share for the public good. What have you ever done?" She explained, using small words and short sentences, that if people wanted heroes to protect them again, that they should treat them the way that they would want to be treated. So that was the last great good that she was able to do. She was mad about it.

CJ: Congress is having a final vote on legislation to officially limit the liability of heroes for damage and to provide funds for public education to combat ignorance and a PR campaign to help attract new heroes. It got a big boost because Alex stepped up again when she had to, even though she didn't do it formally. There will always be villains.

DW: And there will always be people who want to help. They may not put on costumes and act like heroes, but they'll do what they're doing now, helping where they see the need. That might be her biggest public legacy, reframing the superhero issue. (Rubs his forehead) That feather on display in the Valkyrie building was one of hers. After the announcement and then again after her death, people broke in to try to steal it. They had to change the display so that to get it out, you'll practically have to tear down the building.

CJ: It would be quite valuable, I imagine. The last feather from one of the actual valkyries, the legendary Alex Barnes.

DW: Joke's on them. There's a big bag of them at home, a complete set. She saved the best feathers from each molt so that if she had to imp any back in, they'd look good. (chortles) You couldn't call Alex vain about much, but she did love those wings. I guess not a complete set anymore, I gave feathers to everybody in the family who wanted one, plus her friends. Want one?

CJ: (gobsmacked) Yes, please.

DW: I'll send one over. They don't have the coating on them, so they're nice and soft, really beautifully iridescent. You know the story of Alex and the swans, don't you?

CJ: No. I'd be fascinated to hear it, though.

DW: Well, the Norn who was the original valkyrie used feathers from her swans to make the first cape for the valkyries, and apparently they've never forgotten or forgiven it. Alex was the only valkyrie who really visited them and they took it out on her. Terrorized her by chasing her around. (grins) One bit her, broke her finger. She always tried to bribe her way into their good favor with treats, but they never really warmed up to her. Still, they saved her life in Ragnarok by drawing attention to her, so she put up with their bad behavior. She still kind of hated them, though.

CJ: (laughs) Somehow that sounds like something that would only happen to Alex. (Damian nods, grinning) To turn to something more personal, if I can. (DW nods) You've always seemed pretty calm for somebody who's got a wife who puts herself in harms' way like that. And to be frank, on paper you two didn't quite add up. You were the heir to Wayne Enterprises, a legitimate business genius, famous and socially prominent. She wasn't. How did that come about?

DW: Well, she saved my life. I got mugged in a garage, ended with a knife in my gut, and she got me to help. I kinda fell in love with her then, but we had a falling out over the Joker. I let her down. She didn't hesitate to call me out on it, and to be frank, that was a total novelty for me. My dad kind of reined me in, but nobody really told me off like that. It was really eye opening, and after that I just wanted to be a better person, to show her that her that I'd really listened to her, because she was justified in ripping me a new one. In college, I realized what a gem she was. Nobody ever came close. She wasn't always right, but she always had the courage of her convictions, and she didn't try to dodge the consequences of her actions. She always dealt with the fallout. She was so strong, respectful where people had earned it, but not a kiss-up. I worked really hard, step by step, to show her that I wasn't what she thought I was, that I had changed. That I could measure up. Because she didn't compromise her principles. (Sigh) And it paid off. She took everything I threw at her with aplomb.

CJ: What did you throw at her? I'm not trying to be snide, I just don't know what you could have put her through, it's always been obvious that you adore her, and the reverse.

DW: (starts to laugh) Oh, you have no idea. (laughs harder)

CJ: (cajolingly) You can tell me.

DW: (Laughter winding down) It's a secret, one that still needs to be kept.

CJ: (instantly) I can keep a secret. I can arrange for the information to be secret for as long as it has to be.

DW: (thinking) Alex would approve, I think. Dad won't. (Snorts. CJ leans forward) I'm Batman. Or I was. Nightfall, too. Dad was the original Batman, one of the current ones as well. And there will be a Batman for as long as Gotham needs one. (DW grins, then laughs big belly laughs as CJ's mouth drops open and he struggles for words.)

(Dead silence)

CJ: WHAT???? You can't leave it at that. What the hell? How did that happen? Oh, my god. Holy crap. I've got to know more. Did Alex know?

DW: Like I could keep it from her. She used her paramedic training to patch me up on more than one occasion. She found out about it while we were in high school, the incident in the garage. The attackers weren't muggers, they'd been sent by my mother and her father. Tell me you wouldn't fall in love with a girl who got you to help and actually started to save your life. The stories I could tell....

CJ: Tell me.