steve runs over after seeing tony snap his fingers after declaring the words, "and i... am... iron man.". he walks over to the now weak, near-death tony stark. he feels a flood of emotions take over every fiber of his being. he remembers the very moment he laid eyes on tony. he remembers putting on the suit and going for a few rounds. he remembers seeing tony become so selfless that he risked his own life. he remembers when he fell in love with tony; it was when tony was on the ground in new york, unconscious from just falling from the sky. he remembers the feeling of contentment whenever his eyes fell onto tony. he starts remembering his first date with tony; tony had rented out an entire movie theatre, just to watch steve's favourite movie as a kid, gone with the wind. he's recollecting all of the good memories until, siberia and the accords hit him in the face.
he recalls the drop in his stomach once tony had caught him in the secret paradox. he wanted to hold tony and tell him he was sorry for hiding that with bucky. he knows that they both know it was not anywhere close to bucky's fault but he understands tony's reaction. he's so sorry. he wishes things hadn't ended up the way they did. maybe if they were to agree with each other they would have had a family of their own; maybe they would have gotten their own morgan stark running around. 'that's so selfish of you steve.', he thinks to himself as that thought races across his mind. he then remembers when tony and steve did talk about having kids. tony at first seemed nervous about it, but tony was mainly scared of ending up like his father. he can still hear tony blabbering about how much his father negatively impacted him. he feels his eyes well up, but he manages to keep it together for now.
he feels himself walking to tony after pepper said her words to him. steve kneels down to tony and glazes his eyes all over tony. he studies the half of him that is fried due to the power of the gauntlet and the stones. he holds tony's hand softly, making sure to not maximize the state of pain he is already in. "steve.", tony whispers; his voice is all raspy and pained. steve smiles gently, "hi tony.", he replies longingly. they stare into each other's eyes; their eyes speak what they are feeling louder than their voices. steve feels a few tears roll down his face as he looks into tony's eyes. "i'm sorry, tony.", he says, managing to choke it out. "i'm sorry for betraying your trust. i'm sorry for putting fear over our relationship. i'm sorry for breaking your heart tony.", he says to tony as he cries. he looks down at the ground and continues to say sorry.
he finds courage to look up and sees that tony has a few tears rolling down his face as well. "i f-forgive y-you.", tony manages to get out. "i-i al-always have, s-steve.", he murmurs, attempting to squeeze steve's hand. steve looks down at the hand that tony squeezed and laughs through a cry. he looks back up at tony who is also smiling very lightly. tony coughs, signifying that it's almost time. now, steve can really feel the tsunami of emotions he was repressing. steve wants to save him; he wants to pick him up and get him to a place where he can be saved. yet, he can't; it's not that easy. it's never that easy. steve finds courage being worked up to him and he manages to choke through a sob and says it: "i love you, tony. i never stopped.".
steve can't stop himself from looking at tony. he looks at him and waits for what tony will do in response. tony hums and cracks a very, very weak grin. "l-love you t-too, steve. n-never st-", he says not being physically capable to finish his sentence, due to the amount of pain he is trying to fight. he then moves steve's hand to where the reactor is. steve at first is confused by the movement and then it hits him. tony is dying right now. steve looks at the light dim on tony's chest. he then looks back at tony's face and sees the light in his eyes completely fade. "no! no, no, no, no, this can't happen, this can't be happening.", steve says lowly, trying to keep himself from crying, but it's already too late. he feels the tears run down his face and fall onto himself, the floor, and tony. tony. tony. he leans forward to hug him, but is stopped.
steve feels two people holding him back and pulling him away from tony. he turns to see bucky and sam carrying him. he attempts to fight back, but his super-serum fails him at this moment. he then gets up and just hugs bucky. bucky is at first stunned by this gesture but then hugs him back. "he forgave us.", steve cries into bucky's shoulder. bucky rubs his back and squeezes him tight as steve continues to cry. "he still loved me, buck. he-", he cuts himself off and let's out more tears onto bucky's suit.
---
steve sits outside by the river after hearing tony's recorded message. he stares out into the water and rethinks all of his life choices and how he got so lucky to even know tony. he then hears footsteps behind him. it's pepper. pepper sits next to steve on the bench. steve turns to look at her and notices that there are tear stains on her cheek. he turns away and looks back at the water but now is thinking about what to say to pepper. they sit in silence for a little bit. the only noises around are animals speaking to each other and the trees bustling as the wind blows. "i'm not mad at you steve.", pepper says breaking the silence. steve turns her direction torwards her, "what?", he asks with confusion.
"i'm not mad at you for staying in love with tony, steve.", she starts off, beginning to face him, "i'm aware of everything that happened between you and tony. i knew for so long that he still had a crazy soft spot for you, despite what he might have said to you or any outside parties.", she says with genuineness. steve nods absorbing this information; pepper continues, "he forgave you, you know. he would talk to me about. there were so many moments when he wanted to grab that phone and just call you... but his anxiety would best him, he got scared that you wouldn't believe him or something.". that last statement pangs steve deeply after pepper says it. "why wouldn't i believe him?", steve finds himself asking. pepper sighs, "he was in the mindset that since you wouldn't believe that tony could take the truth of his parents... you wouldn't believe him when he calmed down. that you would think it'd be a front and he would want you and bucky in a cell.", she says in a calm tone, to not try and overwhelm steve.
steve looks back out into the river and takes a deep breath to process what pepper just said. he shakes his head in disbelief. his eyes begin to water and he tries to shake it off. "i would have never doubted him.", steve let's out in a sigh. pepper nods, "i know. i tried convincing him and i tried to tell him that you would have never ever doubted him.", she agrees with steve, "but, after the clip was shown, he didn't know what to truly believe in; he didn't know who to truly believe in.", she says with sincerity. he feels a tear roll down his face. 'god don't do this right now steve.', he yells at himself internally. pepper scoots closer to steve and puts her arm around his shoulder. steve then turns and hugs pepper. pepper immediately hugs back and begins to cry. steve is also crying as they hug. "i miss him so much.", steve exclaims as he gets out of the hug to look at pepper who has puffy red eyes. "i miss him too, steve. god i miss him.", she cries, going back into the hug.