Ashamed
Chapter Six
Ashamed
Since no one was at home but Diana, Kate pulled a pillow and blanket into the living room and camped out on the couch. That way she could keep her feet up, watch the news, work on her computer, and speak to her assistant in the same area. When her phone started to ring, Kate had to search around for it. The device had somehow made its way to the coffee table and out of arm’s reach. Diana was fast getting up and retrieving it before Kate had to. The assistant handed the phone over, which Kate thanked with a head nod. Swiping the icon that would allow her to accept the call, she brought the phone up to her ear. “Hello?”
“Hey honey, its me.” Clint greeted through the line. Kate could hear that she was on speaker. Clint was probably in the car, using the hands-free feature set up through the car’s stereo.
“Yes, I know. There is this wonderful new thing called caller ID.”
Just one time he would like his wife not to respond to him with sarcasm, but judging by her father, Kate came by it honestly. “You still in your meeting with Rhodes?”
“No, he left a while ago to get to the compound for a meeting. Something about approval for a mission in Southeastern Europe? “
Lifting his right hand off the wheel, Clint checked the time on his watch. “Yeah, I am supposed to be at that meeting.”
“Where are you?” She asked because it was only about a fifteen-minute drive between the school and compound.
“About five minutes out, I was just checking in while I had the time.”
“Thank you for fitting me in.” Kate mocked then got straight to the point of the purpose for the phone call. “What did the Professor say?”
“He is taking this seriously.” Clint explained. That was probably the most reassuring component of the meeting that Clint took away. His concerns were heard, and he had acted in the right to go to the school this morning against Kate’s wishes. “He believes that Charlie is craving attention, and this is how she is trying to get it.”
“Attention?” Kate took that as a personal attack on her parenting. Her children didn’t want for anything. Clint and she had made it a priority that every child received personal time with their parents. It wasn’t what Charlotte had previously experienced, but it was still good.
“It makes sense I guess when an outsider points it out.” Clint started knowing that Kate would take the Professor’s observation as a critique of her mothering skills. “Xavier was talking about how Charlie can’t relate to anyone at home and is craving that mutant-to-mutant interaction outside the academic setting. The Professor pointed out about how just a year ago, the mutants were all she knew, and you were the only human she had encounters with. She was the center of your world, now she has to share you with the other kids and me. You and I are being pulled in so many different directions. Charlie is feeling neglected and trying to regain some of the attention she needs, even if its negative attention. Ethan and these other kids were willing to give it to her, and she can relate more so with them because not only are they mutants, but they all have damaging experiences with humans in their pasts.”
Some of what Clint was telling her rang true. Charlie’s adjustment from living at the school to living in the suburbs with a large family hadn’t been easy. In the early days after they moved into the new house, Charlie would beg her mother to stay at the school overnight or remain after at the mutant sanctuary longer than academic hours. “What does he suggest?”
“A few things. He wants to take her out of study hall and use that time to pull her into his office and talk. Apparently, some things similar to this morning have been said previously to him by Charlie, and he would like to spend more time with her. She hadn’t said anything to him like she did to us about killing anyone or ‘no more humans. But she seems to have a history of talking about revenge against HYDRA. I told him it was fine to do as long as she maintains her grades.”
“I agree.” Kate was fast to say. It was Kate who wanted the study hall. As long as Charlie kept her grades up, she wouldn’t protest the removal of the class. Clint wanted to ask how much Kate knew of the Professor and Charlie’s ‘talks’ about revenge but discarded that line of questioning when she asked another one. “What does the Professor recommend we do at home?”
“Spend more time with her, listen to her. Above all, make sure she knows we are listening and even if we don’t understand what she is talking about, that we respect her words and feelings behind it.” It was all ‘therapy talk’ to him, the same stuff he had heard from Lila and Cooper’s therapist at the start of them going. It was easy enough to do, Clint just had to make the effort to do it. “He suggested I become more of a presence at the school. Show Charlie that I acknowledge the mutant part of her and embrace it. It was thrown out there that I do like an afterschool archery thing for the students.” Then he recalled a thought he had during the meeting. “This may sound strange for a father to say, but does Charlie have any friends?”
“Of course she does.” Kate exclaimed, shocked by the question. “She is a social butterfly at school. The girl would rather talk to her friends then pay attention in class. Its ninety-nine percent of the reasons for her detentions. Don’t you read the referrals?”
“I do read them.” Clint defended himself. “Most of them are because she is disrupting class.”
Kate snickered a bit at that, how did Clint think she was disrupting class? “Because she is talking to her friends and won’t shut up.”
Kate had called Charlie a ‘social butterfly’, that didn’t match with the Charlie Clint knew. At home, she played with Lila sometimes, but the two girls had vastly different interests. Mostly Charlie kept to herself. He guessed that was why he always thought of her as a loner, like he was. Now everything he thought was turning out to be wrong. “Does she have…I don’t know, like a best friend?”
Without any pause, Kate supplied the name. “Alysia.”
The speed Kate’s answer was given gave Clint the impression that Kate knew this girl and had interacted with her. He attempted to keep the jealousy out of his voice towards his wife for her relationship with their daughter. “Why have I never met this girl… or even heard of her?”
Kate wasn’t one to beat around the bush, but to answer Clint’s question she would have to. Just coming out and bluntly telling him the reason would be cruel. “Charlie doesn’t talk a lot about school at home. She is very guarded about her mutant relations. I think the Professor has a legitimate point about you spending more time up there. Charlie isn’t really sure of your feelings towards mutants.” She heard Clint try to break in but refused to let him. “You don’t let her use her abilities at home without permission, and you rarely give it when it is asked for.” Kate hated what she was about to say because she knew it would hurt Clint. She and Charlie had spoken about the very concern Clint was just now a year later bringing up. She didn’t want to say it, but it would be best if she was the one he heard it from. “She thinks you’re ashamed of her for being a mutant.”
Clint slammed the brakes and swerved the car to the side of the road. “What?!”
“You heard me.” Kate said in a voice laced with sadness and empathy.
“She said that?” Clint demanded. “She thinks I am ashamed of her for who she is?”
The line went silent for a while, just when Clint thought that maybe the call had dropped, Kate rejoined the conversation. “Yes.”
Slamming his hands down on the dashboard of the car, Clint shouted, “Damn it Kate! When did she say this, and why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it hasn’t even been a year Clint. I thought with more time, Charlie would reevaluate her theory. I knew it would kill you to hear it. I was trying to handle it without you knowing.”
Clint put his head against the steering wheel and softly banged his head against it. He was so stupid, of course she thought that. At the school, she was allowed to freely be herself and use her mutant powers limitlessly to a degree. In contrast, Clint had a strict ‘no powers’ rule at home for both Charlie and Wanda. It was highly possible everything that happened this morning was his fault. He wasn’t giving her enough attention and to top it all off, he was restraining her ability to be herself at home. Suddenly it was all clear, Charlie wanting him to stay in the car during pick up and drop off wasn’t just a pre-teen tendency of not wanting to be seen with her father in front of her friends, it was shielding her friends from her father. He didn’t even know her best friends name until a minute ago. Charlie had perfectly separated her home and school life, Kate being the only one allowed to cross the line.
“Clint?” Kate beckoned with concern.
“Yeah, I’m here.” He acknowledged lifting his head and running his fingers through his hair. He thought he had a pretty good relationship with Charlie. It wasn’t as good as his with Lila, but he had been Lila’s father for eleven years, and only in Charlie’s life for a year. Now being told that Charlie was probably ‘just going through the motions’ because she thought Clint didn’t like who she was, caused him to feel physically ill. “How the hell do I fix this?”
“Do the after-school thing the Professor was talking about. We make sure Charlie joins it. You know she is always looking for an excuse to stay longer.” Clint knew Charlie often requested to stay after. She had to be the only kid who enjoyed being at school longer then needed. Guess the reason was clear now. Between talking with the Professor and now Kate, Clint understood all too well how the school was providing more for his daughter’s social and emotional wellbeing than he was. He didn’t say anything, just let Kate continue. “Then you can see her interacting with her friends. And more importantly, she will see you interacting with them. Through your actions, not words, you tell her its ok to be a mutant and you love and support her no matter what.”
“The fact that Charlie doesn’t know that already is a punch in the throat, you know that Kate?” He confessed feeling like the worse father ever. “Being told that my child doesn’t think I love and support her and am ashamed of her because she was born with a condition is really a hit below the belt.”
“Well, it may help if you stop referring to it as a ‘condition’.” Kate wisely suggested. “She is a mutant. It is who she is, it is a major part of how she identifies herself, it’s what makes her Charlie. You calling it a ‘condition’ makes it sound like something is wrong with her, it gives the impression that she’s broken and needs to be fixed. Not the greatest way to build self-confidence.”
“So you have just been sitting on this? Kid thinks that I hate her. Then I make it worse by mislabeling the mutant thing, and you have just been letting this happen?” He despised to admit it, but he was very irritated with Kate right now. How could she have hidden this from him? If he was truthful, he would admit he was more upset with himself for fostering Charlie’s feelings.
“No, not letting it happen. I talk to Charlie about it when she brings it up.” Clint wanted to interrupt and ask about how often was the topic brought up between mother and daughter and where these ‘talks’ were happening behind his back but allowed Kate to continue with her ‘defense’ for not telling him. “She doesn’t think you hate her Clint. Never has she said that.” She stressed to him, hoping it would bring him some peace. “I have just been reinforcing that you love her and could never be ashamed of her.”
In utter disbelief over the conversation Clint observed, “And that has worked great.”
“Perhaps I handled this wrong.” Kate divulged. She didn’t want it to be like this. She thought with patience and time, the issue would resolve itself without the need to break Clint’s heart. “I probably should have told you.”
Staring at the stereo as if he could see Kate’s face in the glossy black plastic that housed the system, Clint threw back at her, almost yelling, “’Perhaps’? ‘Probably’? Are you being serious right now?”
“What do you want me to say? Sorry?” Because she was.
“No,” Clint answered checking himself. He didn’t want to upset her. He also needed to deescalate himself. He was about to meet up with Charlie at the compound, and he couldn’t in the state he was in now. Clint needed to relax and breathe, the same thing he was always telling Kate to do. Now it was time to take a dose of his own medicine. “I guess it is a good thing the kid trusts at least one of us.” Deciding to alleviate the temperament of the conversation before emotion overcame both of them, he joked, “While I have you on the phone, do any of the other kids think I hate them?”
“Now that you mention it,” Kate responded, and Clint’s heart sunk even further at the possibility of more coming at him. “Nate did say you were mean last night during tuck in because you told him he couldn’t bring peanut butter into the tub.”
Smiling as he checked the rearview mirror for oncoming traffic, Clint pulled the car back on the road. “I’ll proudly own that one.”
~~~
Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson had just finished their morning workout in the gym at the Avengers compound. They both shared an apartment with Natasha in Brooklyn, in fact the building was owned by Clint. He brought it in his early S.H.I.E.L.D. days and after marrying Kate and starting a family with her, the archer realized that the one-bedroom apartment wouldn’t accommodate the expanding Barton clan. To remedy the lack of space he combined two of the apartments into a three-bedroom home. When the Wipe was reversed, Clint remembering the property, offered it to Steve. Steve was hesitant to accept the apartment at first. In the end he took Clint’s generous present and invited Sam and Nat to move in with him. Every morning Sam and Steve would run ten miles around the borough, then drive to the compound to lift weights and workout. Usually by the time they finished their morning routine, Natasha would arrive at the compound for her own workout schedule.
The men were passing the Avengers’ conference room on their way to the kitchenette in the communal room when they noticed Charlotte Barton sitting at the conference table with stacks of paper in front of her. Entering the room, Sam was the first to greet the child using his nickname he had gifted her with. “Hey Wallstreet, teacher workday?”
There were six piles of papers lined up in front of the girl. Steve and Sam watched as she took the top paper off each stack and stapled them together, placing the assembled packet in a seventh pile. “No, I’m in trouble.” Stapling another packet, she expanded, “I’m not allowed to go to school today. I have to spend the day with Grandpapa until my dad comes and gets me.”
Steve walked further into the room and looked at what the child was doing. It appeared to be some paperwork associated with one of Stark’s many charities. It wasn’t uncommon to see one of the Barton children around the compound, but as far as Steve was aware, it was the first time the place had been utilized as a mean to discipline one of the kids. He should mind his own business and carry on with his day, but the curiosity got the better of him. “What are you in trouble for?”
“Being a mutant.” The child casually informed her audience without looking up or disrupting her flow of actions.
“Young lady!” Tony yelled out at the comment, walking in from behind Steve and Sam. He had two empty boxes with him. Moving around the table to where his granddaughter was, Tony placed the boxes on the table and lifted the stapled papers into one box. Staring down at the seated child, Tony reprimanded her gross exaggeration of why she was on punishment. “That is not why you are in trouble, and it doesn’t help the matter at all by spreading that rumor.”
“But it’s true.”
“No it isn’t. You are here because you threaten to expunge the human race from the world in favor of the mutant race being the superior life form. Am I incorrect?” Tony asked, purposely not looking to either Sam or Steve. He was fully aware of what he had just said would cause both men to fix their sight on him for further explanation, and he really wasn’t feeling in the mood to go into details right now. Voicing anything more would just bait the child into another verbal altercation.
“Depends.” Charlie answered with the perfect mixture of brashness and sarcasm that every Stark is born with. She cut her eyes up to her grandfather. “What does expunge mean?”
In a condescending manner as the reply to the attitude she just threw at him, Tony bluntly informed his granddaughter of the extremes her words meant this morning. “In this situation, it means to kill.”
Charlie thought for a moment about that, then imperturbably responded. “Then yes, you are incorrect. I didn’t say that.”
Bringing his hands up to massage his temples, Tony closed his eyes and forced himself to remain unruffled in his reply. “You sure as hell implied it. And your mother can’t take much more of it. Because of all that, you are here until your father gets back from your school after speaking with the Professor.”
Sam saw that Tony was struggling with Charlie. Any other time, it would be damn hilarious. However, it was easy to see that whatever had gone down earlier was bad. It was severe enough that the child wasn’t in school and had to be removed from her mother. Then add in the fact that Clint, not Kate, was at the school speaking to the Professor solidified for him that ‘bad’ wasn’t the correct word on how to label the situation. Attempting to lighten the mood in the room Sam amusingly asked, “Rough morning?”
“You have no idea.” Tony answered as he moved away from Charlie to where Steve and Sam were standing. He felt like a circus juggler. Every time he got into a rhythm with how many balls he was juggling, someone upped the ante by throwing one more at him to put into the rotation. Despite the recent conversation with Charlie, they were actually doing alright this morning once Tony got her in the car. He assumed a lot of what just was said was an act to get a rise out of him in front of the guys. Charlie, like her grandfather, did love an audience.
Steve turned his back to Charlie as he switched places with Tony. Wishing for the child not to overhear his question. “Is this something we should be worried about?”
Matching Steve’s hushed tone, Tony tilted his head left to right in uncertainty. “Honestly, I don’t know. Clint is talking to Xavier now about it and I guess we will go from there.”
Steve would have to accept that response for now. Like Sam, he knew if Clint and Tony had gone to the extremes of prohibiting the child from attending school and bringing her to the compound, then there was a whole lot more to the story beyond a pre-teen girl arguing with her parents. Perhaps Clint would be more forthcoming with information. He had sent Steve a text earlier that he should be at the compound for the Balkans mission update by noon. At least Steve now knew what Clint had meant by ‘have to deal with something this morning’.
They weren’t in any hurry, Nat was still not there, and they needed James Rhodes as well for the mission meeting. In line with the Sokovia Accords, the DMA had to be made aware of any mission the Avengers were planning if the time table permitted it. That last part was a loophole. If a mission was being prepared more than twelve hours ahead of the team being deployed, then the Secretary had to be notified so she could report it to the Accords committee of the United Nations for approval. Less than twelve hours, and in an emergency, the Avengers could act as they saw fit and fill out the paperwork later. In the event such as the one they were currently in, if Kate wasn’t able to be at the mission presentation, Rhodey acted in her place. “While we are waiting for Clint and Rhodes, we can talk about this morning and our wayward recruit.”
Accepting his fate, Tony submitted to the request. “Fine, let’s get it over with.” Pointing to Charlie he took on a harsh and demanding tone. “Charlotte Henrietta Barton, you stay here.” The only reply he received from the girl that she had heard him was an eyeroll directed his way. Tony wasn’t just going to trust his granddaughter to do as she was told to. He knew her better than that. Calling out into the room, he summoned his artificial intelligence assistant. “FRIDAY let me know if she leaves this room.”
The AI immediately answered. “Of course boss.”
~~~
The three men walked into the sitting area of the communal room. Tony took the chair facing the hall that led to the conference room. Steve sat across from him in the matching chair while Sam stood and wondered around the area looking out the glass doors that opened to the patio. Tony decided once he was comfortable to get the show on the road. “The Parkers get home alright?”
Placing his elbows on the chair’s armrest, Steve answered with a nod of his head. “Yes, I made sure to walk them to their apartment door.”
Looking to where Sam was, Tony muttered under his breath. “Always the gentleman.”
Steve acknowledge the quiet comment with a smile. “Tony, jokes aside, Peter with the proper training and guidance could be a valuable part of our team.”
Stark knew where this was going and beat Steve to the punch. “But?”
Dropping the smile, Steve leaned forward in the recliner. With a sincere expression, Rogers rationalized to Tony the doubts he had regarding Peter Parker. “But, I am not comfortable with him being under eighteen. He is just a kid, and still in school.”
“He should be worrying about getting a date for prom, not what three mutants are up to aboard a yacht.” Sam contributed as he turned away from watching the groundkeepers trim the hedges.
Tony had to admit that Steve and Sam were correct about what Peter was, and what he should be doing instead of crime fighting. He would admit they were right if they would admit that Tony knew a little more about the situation then they did. Providing Peter a new suit and placing him on the team was acting in the kids’ best interest. “The fighting, it’s in his blood now. Peter joining the Avengers or not it won’t be a factor in him stopping any time soon. He will do it with or without us. I figured ‘with’ would be a hell of a lot easier to ensure he is safe and stuff like yesterday doesn’t happen again.”
“Ok, he will be out in the streets no matter what we do or say.” Steve said it more just to say it out loud to process, not for anyone in particular. There was apparently more Steve and Peter had in common than just both of them being brought up in the city. They both had the drive to help despite being told they couldn’t. They found a way to overcome and succeed in their goals. Steve found a certain amount of respect for the teenager at that revelation. “We can create a training program for him. If he is serious about this then he will stick to it. The solo missions stop now. Peter is already affiliated with our team, officially or not. The public thinks he is one of us. We act as a team, he strays from that, and Peter is out.”
Tony was surprised by how easy it was to get Steve to change his mind on the kid. “I believe that is very reasonable.”
The captain saw that Tony’s attention was directed to something behind him. Turning around, he saw that Natasha had arrived and was coming to join the group. Knowing that she was smart enough to fill in the blanks and figure out who and what they were talking about, he continued with the discussion without catching her up to speed on the topic. “You are too close Tony. Parker only trusts you. Again, that doesn’t work on a team. He has to come to trust us all and us to trust him in return. He must trust each one of us with his life, because it very well may come to that in the field. I will develop his training program and he will train with all of us. Not only does it foster trust in each other but teaches Peter which specific skill sets each of us possesses.”
Once again, Tony had to concede that the Captain was reasonable with the requirements placed on Peter. There wasn’t one word he said that Tony could dispute or even wanted to. “Sounds good. You set up the program and a schedule then we will present it to Peter for his consent. Rhodes asked last night for Peter to hang up the suit for a while. Just until the attention on the events of last night die down some. So you have some time to work on it before the DMA will allow any of what you have suggested.”
“What am I allowing?” James Rhodes asked entering the room.
“Peter Parker officially joining the team.” Natasha supplied having done exactly what Steve assumed she would. Without any information of the conversation before she joined, she had figured out everything.
Rhodes pulled his head back in disbelief at the suggestion. It hadn’t even been a day since the explosion and this conversation was happening. “That will need to be a very long and detailed discussion with all interested parties. I don’t foresee any problems with the committee. Peter signed the Accords. Any resistance you guys encountered will be from the boy’s aunt and the Secretary.”
At the mention of his daughter, Tony inquired an update. “How’s my girl?”
Unbuttoning his suit jacket to sit on the couch, Rhodes answered his best friend and father of his boss. “She is anxious about a lot of stuff. I think the emotion is so high right now because she can’t do anything but sit and wait. She has to sit and wait to see what will come from Secretary Williamson’s threats. She has to sit and wait for the committee to get back to her about what to do about you and Peter. She has to sit and wait to hear back from Clint about Charlotte.”
“What about Charlie?” Natasha asked scanning the room for information. She apparently had not seen the child in the conference room when she entered. Nat missing a body in such close proximity to her was doubtful to anyone who knew her. The more plausible solution was that Charlie was no longer in the conference room and had disabled FRIDAY to prevent the AI from telling on her. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Tony ignored both Charlotte’s disappearing act and Natasha’s question. Clint would show up sooner or later to deal with his daughter and fill everyone in. Plus, his granddaughter wasn’t stupid, if she had escaped, she wouldn’t have gone far. Odds were she was just trying to prove a point to Tony that she can escape the watchful eye of FRIDAY again, for no other reason than to say she could. It was moments like this, Tony wanted to apologize to his parents. That girl was Tony to the bone regarding her behavior and thinking. He often wondered if Charlotte was his penance for his own unruly behavior at her age. Even with all of that, Tony kept it to himself that Charlie was his favorite of the children. Charlie’s whereabouts aside, he was more struck by the somber tone Rhodey used to speak about his daughter in. “Should I be worried?”
Rhodes leaned onto his knees. “I don’t know if you should be worried, but I would certainly advise being concerned. She’s what, four or five weeks out from delivery? The doctors didn’t even think she would carry this long and here we are, weeks away from being full term. I don’t like this all happening now, Kate has come too far and done too well for this to ruin everything.”
Tony was beyond appreciative for how much Rhodey had done for Kate during her pregnancy. There was always someone to watch Kate. That was the real reason they had made it this far without complications, the amazing support system the Barton family had of family and friends. “I’ll put a call into Hank McCoy and ask him to check up on her. Clint brought up this morning perhaps getting a nurse for Kate for this last month. I will speak to the medical team here and see if anyone is willing to take her on with hazard pay.”
“So you think any of this will affect the Balkans mission?” Steve asked looking between Tony and Natasha. Between the two of them, they should be able to provide Steve with a reliable answer. “I really need Clint on this one, but if his head isn’t in the game, I don’t want him in the field.”
“As of this morning, he said he was still on it. I think it would be good for him to get away for a while and get his hands dirty.” Tony projected about the man. In his opinion, it would only help Clint to get him out and allow him to hit something. The archer was all kinds of frustrated and repressed. Sending Clint away also benefited Tony. “Maybe while he is gone I can get a team in and finish that damn basement, so Vee can have a nursery. We are running out of time, and Pepper has brought out all the baby stores in New York City. My living room looks like a showroom for nursery décor.”
The group of five collectively laughed at Tony’s remarks about his wife’s shopping spree. Suddenly the compound echoed loudly with the sound of thunder, shaking the walls and causing items to fall off shelves. Tony’s first thought was of his granddaughter, jumping up he started to franticly search for Charlie. Seeing Tony get up everyone followed suit. Following the source of the sound, they faced the windows and were blinded by a bright light that seemed to project from the middle of the back grounds of the compound. Bringing his hand up to his eyes to shield them, Tony was able to see the outline of Charlie running to the doors from outside into the communal area. Moving fast, Tony got to the door before she did and opened it, reaching for her as he did so. With Charlie secured in his arms the child shouted, “I didn’t do it!”
Tony went down to his knees, so he was at her level. He rubbed her back in comfort and tried to sooth the shaking child. “It’s ok. What happened?”
“Tony.” Rhodes said staring with everyone else out into the yard.
Tony looked up and the light started to fade away. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Standing back up he pulled on Charlie’s arm to move her behind him and started to follow the group that was already exiting the door onto the patio. The smell of burnt grass filled everyone’s noses. Standing in the middle of a branded symbol burnt into the yard was Bruce Banner and Thor.